The lights were out when Steve woke up again. White noise hummed loud in his ears behind the sound of Bucky snoring against his chest. Bucky was damn near wrapped around him, one leg wedged between both of Steve's, his flesh arm draped over his stomach, and his hair tickling his nose. Thunder was rumbling further off in the distance but rain was still pouring down around them.
Bucky was peaceful in his sleep this time, no fitful little whimpers, no tossing and turning, in fact, he was leaden against Steve's chest, sleeping the sleep of the dead. He deserved it, after all those years. He deserved a good sleep. Steve shifted just slightly to check his watch, it was nearing six in the evening and his stomach chose that moment to protest loud enough to wake the dead.
Apparently he had, too. Bucky stuttered awake, groaning softly and Steve could feel his lashes brush against his chest.
"Steve?"
"Shh, go back to sleep, Buck."
"M'good," Bucky slurred sleepily but pressed himself against Steve a little closer. "Can't sleep anymore, I'll have nightmares. It's goddamn hot in here."
"Yeah, well you're about a hundred degrees yourself bub," Steve joked. "I'm sweating over here."
Bucky groaned and reluctantly peeled himself away from Steve. "Whys it so hot?"
"Lights are out, knocked out the air conditioning," Steve said. "The storm is still going."
"It's been hours," Bucky complained, blowing his hair out of his face. "I forgot how summer storms could be."
"Tell me about it," Steve said, rolling to his side to kiss Bucky on the chin. "I'm hungry, how about you?"
Bucky paused for a moment, resting his metal hand against his stomach as if trying to speak to it for the answer. Steve chuckled and dotted his cheeks with soft kisses.
"I'd rather you really kissed me," Bucky murmured. "You said you'd kiss me wherever I want."
Steve nodded and shifted a little closer, pressing his nose against Bucky's cheek. "Yeah I did. Where do you want me to kiss you?"
Bucky didn't answer with words, just turned his head and pressed his mouth against Steve's, sighing through his nose at the soft feel of his lips. Steve smiled against Bucky's mouth; it was warm from sleep and felt like home as their lips moved together, a rhythm they'd never truly lost. Bucky was dizzy with it, heat and Steve sweet against his lips. He opened his mouth just slightly, a silent beg for more and Steve plunged in immediately. His tongue swept through Bucky's mouth, tasting his warmth even as their teeth clashed awkwardly. Bucky moaned into it, pressing his body closer, threading his flesh fingers into Steve's soft, messy hair, holding him close.
Steve was sweating, drowning in the heat from the house and Bucky's closeness, his skin felt sticky but he wouldn't back away. Bucky was eager, kissing him back with fervor. He let Bucky be the one to pull away, mainly because he didn't want to, but also because he wanted Bucky to make the decision. He wanted him to call the shots with their intimacy; it was his sanity on the line, really. Steve just wanted him to be comfortable.
"You really gotta brush your teeth," Bucky murmured, chuckling softly against Steve's lips. "I love ya all the same though, you swamp monster."
"You're so incredibly romantic," Steve laughed and angel kissed Bucky's lips. "You shouldn't be talking about anyone's breath though, geez."
Bucky laughed, light and airy. "Shut up, punk. You've always had swamp breath in the morning."
"Well technically it's not morning, so it does it count," Steve laughed. "It's nearly six at night."
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "It's that late? I slept that long?"
"Yeah, got you a solid five hours pal," Steve said. "When's the last time you slept that long on your own?"
Bucky snorted. "Probably 1935."
Bucky rolled onto his back, resting his metal arm behind his head. Steve's eyes followed him as he moved, taking in the light shimmer of sweat on the muscles of his abdomen, the way his chest rose and fell gently as he breathed easy. His gaze skidded to a halt below his waist, catching the way the pants he wore had tugged down just below a modest level, exposing the ridges and dips of his hipbones. Steve pretended he couldn't see the outline of Bucky's semi-hard cock pressed against the thin material of his pants. He pretended that sight hadn't made him sweat a little more and lick his lips that were suddenly way too dry. Bucky was oblivious to it all, or maybe he wasn't, and he was purposefully making Steve sweat it out; he'd always been a little cocky like that. Steve couldn't take his eyes off that package of hard flesh that he suddenly, desperately wanted in his hand, his mouth, inside his body.
Steve shifted his body and sat upright, partially to give him something to do, partially to conceal his own growing erection. This wasn't the most appropriate time to be eyeballing Bucky's dick, not after the day they'd had. Plus, his stomach started growling something fierce, that super soldier appetite screaming to be sated.
"You okay?" Bucky asked.
He was looking at Steve through the fringe of his hair that had fallen into his eyes, looking sweet as could be with those stupid red lips all swollen from kissing and Steve almost wanted to fling himself out the window with how much he wanted that man.
"Hungry," Steve said, his voice a little choked. "You hungry?"
"Yeah. I feel like I could eat a country," Bucky said, turning and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "Let's hope I can actually keep it down today."
Bucky ate significantly less than he did before, just a couple of super sized sandwiches that Steve made—he probably could have eaten two or three more, but he didn't want to push his luck—and drank damn near a gallon of water like he hadn't had a drop in months. His stomach had rumbled ominously for several minutes but he managed to keep his dinner down.
They lounged on the couch together, Bucky draped over Steve's lap and Steve's fingers combing through the length of his hair as they watched the rain through the windows. The lightning had stopped and Bucky was peaceful again, watching the rain.
"I like your hair like this," Steve said absently. "It's nice."
"I'm alright with it," Bucky said. "It's itchy sometimes."
Steve brushed the long parts of his hair away from his forehead. "Pull it back sometime. I think it'll look nice like that."
"Pull it back like a girl? Get outta here." Bucky laughed.
"Nah, guys wear their hair back in ponytails all the time nowadays," Steve said. "It looks...good."
"You like guys with long hair then?" Bucky teased.
"I guess so," Steve said bashfully. "Guys never would have been able to do that back in our day."
Bucky laughed. "No way. You'd get sucker punched by the first macho dummy that laid eyes on ya."
Steve laughed along with him, still petting his hair gently. Bucky snuggled down a little further into Steve's lap, rubbing his flesh fingertips along his kneecap.
"Can I ask you something, Steve?" Bucky said.
"Of course."
"How did you still love me? After all this time and all the stuff that happened. We were apart for so long and... and you just still felt that way?" Bucky asked.
"You were my first love, Buck," Steve replied easily. "You're one of the two people I ever loved like that. I never stopped loving you just because of time or distance or whatever. It just all came back when I saw you again."
"But I tried to hurt you. I tried to kill you." Bucky said.
"That wasn't you. None of that was you," Steve said. "You never woulda hurt me if HYDRA wasn't in your head. You've never hurt me before, not once ever."
"I'm luckier than any guy deserves to be," Bucky whispered, his fingers digging gently at Steve's knee. "I had my body used for all sorts of mayhem all these years and I come out of it and still got the best guy in the world waiting for me and he loves me even though sometimes I hate myself."
"Buck..."
"It's not everyday. But sometimes, I really do. I get so antsy in my skin sometimes, like I'm waiting for something bad to happen," Bucky said. "I know no one can control me anymore, that the words don't matter but it's such a hard thing to let go of."
"I know it has to be and I'll never push you to do anything faster than you feel like you're ready for," Steve said. "We go at your pace Bucky. Whatever feels good for you."
'That means no sex Steve, not yet. No matter how damn good he looks.' He thought, only sighing a little at the idea of waiting.
"Thank you," Bucky said. "You've always been so patient with me and I know it's gotta be hard to deal with me sometimes."
"You're worth it all, every single bit."
"I'm so lucky. So goddamn lucky," Bucky murmured. "Love you so much Stevie."
Steve grinned, a laugh bubbling in his chest. "You haven't called me that in...well god knows how long."
Bucky wiggled onto his back, smiling too. "I thought you used to hate it. So I didn't do it very often. Thought you thought it made you feel littler and I didn't want to offend you."
Steve hummed. "Nah, I thought it was sweet. Special. You didn't say it very often and it was something real good when you did. I liked it that way."
"Okay," Bucky said. "We'll keep it that way then."
Steve brushed his hand over Bucky's forehead, sweeping away errant strands of hair and exposing his full, smiling face. His lips were rosy and full and Steve wanted to kiss him again.
A loud humming sound broke through their comfortable silence, the lights in the kitchen flickered on and the television blinked to life. The central air started whirring, blowing cool air through the vent behind the couch.
"Looks like we got power again," Steve said. "At least we won't be so sticky anymore."
Bucky rolled off the couch, crouching for a brief moment in a runner's stance before pushing up to his feet. He stretched, his pants slipping down to expose those sinful hipbones again. Steve looked away, feeling his cheeks heating up. God he missed Bucky.
"You sure you're okay?" Bucky asked.
"Yeah I'm fine," Steve glanced over again and Bucky was standing normally, his face curious as he looked at Steve. "I love you, jerk."
Bucky eyed him, a little dubious before crossing the room and kissing his forehead. "I'm gonna go shower. I smell like a foot.
"I wasn't gonna say anything..."
"Shut up punk," Bucky laughed as he headed toward the bathroom. He paused halfway down the hall before turning back and poking his head into the living room. "Hey..."
"Yeah?"
Bucky paused, chewing his lip like he wanted to say something. Instead he smiled, that brilliant thing when he was real happy. "I love you."
"Love you too."
Two days later, the rain had finally stopped and it was a sweltering June afternoon in rural New York. Bucky had ventured into the backyard, looking for fresh air that he'd been missing. Steve was making lunch in the kitchen when Bucky came barreling in through the back door, followed by a curious sound of panting behind him.
"Steve," Bucky called. "We have a situation."
Steve leaned out of the kitchen and Bucky was crouching in the hallway with his arms around a mid-sized dog. A beagle, from what Steve could tell. The little pup was dancing on his hind legs, licking at Bucky's face excitedly.
"Buck...?"
"He crawled under the fence," Bucky said, scratching the dog behind the ears. "He doesn't have tags or anything so I think he might be a stray. Look how skinny he is."
Bucky wasn't wrong. The poor little guy had ribs showing through and despite his excitement to be getting attention, he looked worse for wear; one of his ears was nicked and he had a just-healed scratch on his left hind leg. He was licking Bucky's nose and he'd sat down on the floor to make it easier for the dog to get at him. Bucky pet him gently with his flesh hand, careful to keep the metal one away.
"He seems to like you," Steve couldn't help but smile. Bucky looked so exhilarated. "He looks like he might have been in a fight."
"Yeah, he's a little scrappy, but I like him. He doesn't seem to mind strangers, he came right up to me," Bucky said, rubbing the dog's belly. "Not like we really have neighbors so I doubt he belongs to anyone. Steve... Stevie can we keep him?"
"Oh no fair with the nickname," Steve said, but he couldn't say no to Bucky. Not when he was giving him that big, wide-eyed look with a sweet smile. "Alright, alright. We can keep him."
Bucky's face lit up like Christmas morning and he jumped to his feet, closing the short distance between he and Steve to kiss him excitedly. The dog yipped, snuffling around at Steve's bare feet. Steve let out a little giggle when the pup licked his toes, panting happily.
"What're you gonna name him?" Steve asked.
"Hmm," Bucky sat back down on the floor and the dog crawled into his lap. "I think he looks like a Beau. What do you think?"
"Beau? Huh, I like it," Steve grinned. "Beau it is."
"Poor guy looks like he could use some water," Bucky eased up from the floor, gathering Beau in his arms. "I guess we'll need to get him food and stuff..."
"I'm make a venture out later on when it cools off some," Steve said. "But we can at least give him some water and people food for now."
Bucky nodded and carried Beau into the kitchen. Steve took a bowl down from the cabinet and filled it with cool water from the tap. Beau skidded for the bowl as soon as Bucky let him down, drinking noisily. Bucky dropped into a chair at the table, watching his new pet fondly as Steve went back to the salad he'd been making for lunch.
"There's some leftover chicken in the fridge if you wanna feed him," Steve said. "I bet he's hungry."
Bucky got up and crossed to the refrigerator, Beau had already lapped up half the bowl of water by the time Bucky sat the plate of cooked chicken on the floor next to him. He sniffed it curiously before taking a huge bite. Bucky only laughed and patted him on the head before moving over to Steve and wrapping his flesh arm around him; he pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck.
"Thank you."
"What for?" Steve asked.
"For letting me keep him," Bucky said. "I think it'll be nice to have him around."
"I think so too," Steve said. "It'll be like having a little furry kid."
Bucky laughed. "Yeah. But, uh, I guess we should probably take him to the vet at some point...or, I guess you should take him. I probably shouldn't leave the house any time soon."
Steve frowned and turned himself in Bucky's grip. "Hey. It's okay. It's all still fresh, that's all. You're gonna be fine. You won't be stuck in here forever."
Bucky worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "Stark probably has all kinds of eyes out looking for me–"
"Bucky. Tony isn't going to come looking for you. He better not." Steve said firmly.
"Yeah but what if he does? What happens then? I killed his goddamn family and he hates everything about me," Bucky cringed. "You don't just let that go, Steve. You saw what he did to me and that was just the tip of the iceberg. He wasn't gonna stop until it was my head, I know it."
"I will not let Tony hurt you, Bucky," Steve said, gripping Bucky's upper arms gently. "He isn't going to come after you so long as I'm here, you hear me? No one but Nat knows we're here and she wouldn't rat on us."
"You trust the Widow like that?" Bucky asked.
"No, I trust Natasha like that," Steve said. "She's good, Buck, I swear to you. She's the whole reason we got outta that airport to begin with, remember?"
Bucky sighed. "Yeah I remember. I'm sorry...its just hard to really trust people for me, you understand, right?"
"Of course I do," Steve said. "It's okay. We'll take it slow. If you want her to come over sometime so you can get to know her, you just let me know. Sam wants to see us, too."
Bucky laughed. "Okay, fine. Sam I liked. But... sure, let's have her over sometime. It'll be nice to have some kind of other human here but you."
"Hey!"
Steve pinched Bucky's side and he only laughed and pecked Steve's lips lightly. "Just kidding. You know you're all I need. You and this hungry little guy down there."
Steve glanced over and Beau was gnawing on the chunk of chicken happily, his tail wagging like crazy. He really was a cute little guy, despite the bones showing through and parts of his fur being a little matted. Nothing that a few good meals and a nice bath couldn't fix. Bucky was right though, he would have to be taken to a vet sooner than later...maybe Natasha wouldn't mind doing it for them.
As if the thought of her had summoned her presence, Steve's phone vibrated on the counter beside him, Natasha's name lighting up with it. Beau barked wearily at the noise until Bucky crouched to soothe him and Steve tapped the phone and put it on speaker so he could get back to making lunch.
"Hey Nat." He said.
"Hey there," she said, her smoky voice light and happy sounding. "How's it going?"
"Good," Steve said, interrupted by Beau's yelping bark when Bucky tried to move his water bowl a little closer.
"Did I just hear something bark? How loud is your TV. I know you guys are old but jeez, I thought super soldiers had great hearing." Natasha joked.
"It's not the TV," Steve laughed. "Bucky found a stray earlier. We're gonna keep him."
"Domestic bliss," Natasha said. "How cute. What breed is he?"
"A beagle, I'm pretty sure."
"Good, good. Beagles are loyal dogs, he'll fit right in," Natasha said. "You boys need anything?"
"Well if you're in the area..."
"I might be," Natasha chuckled. "What can I get you?"
"Well Beau is gonna need some dog food and I guess a couple toys," Steve glanced over at Bucky; he was sitting in the floor with Beau, letting him playfully gnaw on his hand. "Buck, you need anything? Nat's treat."
"Excuse me!"
Bucky glanced up, his expression wary. "Plums. I'd really like some plums."
"Can you grab Bucky some plums?" Steve said.
"Sure, of course," Natasha said. "I'll see you in an hour or so."
"Thanks Nat," Steve said. "Hey, are you hungry? We were about to have lunch, I'll make extra for you."
"Wow, you really are domestic, Rogers," Natasha laughed. "Sounds good. See you soon."
"See you soon."
Steve's phone went black when Natasha hung up and he moved to the sink to wash off a few more vegetables. Bucky had drifted back to the table, Beau circling his feet until he settled on top of them, whining contently.
"She's coming here?" Bucky asked, biting his lip.
"Is that okay? I can call her back and tell her some other time. Jeez I should have asked you first Buck, I'm sorry." Steve said.
"It's alright. Just... don't be mad if I have to duck out for a bit, okay? It's not her fault, really but I don't know how long I can take being around her," Bucky said then frowned. "That sounds bad. That sounds really mean."
"It's not though. You're being honest with yourself and that's a good thing," Steve said. "Natasha will understand. You're not used to dealing with much more than me yet. We'll ease you into it."
"You're the best, you know that don't you?" Bucky smiled. "You want some help with lunch?"
"Yeah, that'd be good."
