Chapter 7:

Tomoko knew she couldn't go back to school for a while. When her mother came asking what was wrong—or demanding that she go to school—she became aware of her condition, and assumed she was deathly ill, since her appearance had deteriorated so much. Her normally dark eye circles became far darker, her messy hair far messier, and her pale, confused and timid face became…well...paler, more confused, and more timid.

Secluded in her room, she returned to her old, safe habits. She spent all day playing videogames, watching TV, and reading manga. She began to lose interest in the outside world once more. Her heart calloused over once again, and she felt herself grow less and less feeling for the world.

Who needs friends anyways? I'm just fine on my own! I don't need them.

But Tomoko knew each moment that all of her thoughts were lies. She wanted to be with Aizaku and Makoto again—but her social anxiety just couldn't handle it. In a few days, once her mom figured out that she wasn't sick, she'd have to return to school…and the thought of what might happened then gave Tomoko a reason to be worried.

"Tomoko!" her mom called out from downstairs. "There's someone here to see you!"

Tomoko froze in fear. Her eyes began to water.

Okay. Okay. No need to panic. It could be Yuu-chan or the mailman—

"It's a boy from school."

Tomoko's heart dropped like a rock.

The very sanctity of my home…desecrated. How did he find me?!

She heard them talking quietly downstairs.

"Tomoko!" her mom called once more.

"Uh…yeah!" Tomoko cried. Her voice was weak and fearful.

"I'm sending him up there, alright?"

Tomoko froze again. Before she could call out "wait!" she heard footsteps.

Then…a knock.

More tears.

Panic.

With an unsteady hand, she opened the door.

It was Aizaku. His glasses reflected the light from the setting sun. He shut the door behind him.

With angry, fearful eyes, she looked up at him, then away.

"What?" she asked abruptly.

"It's just..that you haven't been to school in a few days…"

"So what?!" she asked, anger in her voice. She fought back tears.

"I just…wanted to bring your homework to you. Makoto was going to come too, but… he couldn't—"

Tomoko snatched the homework from his hand, cutting him off.

"You can leave now…" she said.

Aizaku looked at her. Tomoko could tell that he was looking, but she refused to return the gesture—mostly out of fear, but partly out of rebellion.

"Tomoko, I…"

"Don't." she said. She felt like she was an alien in her own skin, for the words she was saying felt like someone else's words. "Don't say any more…"

"But Tomoko—"

"Stop," she said. She felt herself breaking.

"Tomoko I just want to—"

"No!"

"I want to talk to you—"

"Please!" she desperately cried, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "Aizaku don't you know what saying that kind of stuff does to a girl like me? I've never, never, had a guy talk to me in the way that you did. I've never had a chance to have friends, or succeed in school before you… I've never had a chance…to…"

Aizaku's eyes were full of empathy.

"I've never had a chance to be happy…" she said.

"Tomoko…"

"I can't handle this…" she mumbled, as more tears came to her eyes. "It's just too much for me…"

"Tomoko, you—" he said.

"I'm an idiot, I know!" she cried. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Just then, he grabbed her arm.
The world, then, seemed to mute. The wind outside stopped. The room drifted apart.

Tomoko felt her body relax. Her tears still flowed.

Her eyes were open wide.

For a brief moment, she felt his breath tickle her face.

But so very shortly after that, she felt warmth on her mouth.

What is this?

Her heart seemed to beat slowly.

She felt Aizaku's arms wrap around her.

Slowly, she began to understand what she was doing. She felt Aizaku's mouth firmly pressed against hers, in a kiss so life-shattering, that she forgot how miserable she had been just a second before. Her eyes remained widely open in fear.

As their lips parted, a strand of saliva snapped between them.

Tomoko opened her eyes slowly, and met Aizaku's warm gaze. Her bright green eyes shined like emeralds with the glaze of her tears.

Neither one said a word. Tomoko felt her arms wrap around his midsection, and, as more tears fell, they kissed once more.

I guess…

She felt his arms wrap around her gently. His embrace made her hot.

I guess this is how it feels… to be loved…

Almost unconsciously, she tightened around him. She never wanted to let go. She knew that with each passing second, she made her anxiety even worse. But she didn't care. She knew that they'd separate in a second. But she didn't care. All she knew was that for once, she was happy—for once, someone loved her.

She closed her eyes.

Eventually, they backed away from each other. Tomoko's eyes were still flooded, but when she opened them, she saw his face for a second in complete clarity. He was a bit red. She began to notice that she was shaking uncontrollably.

But so was he.

He was just as nervous and shy as she was. But then, why had he kissed her so abruptly?

"Tomoko, I…"

Tomoko was speechless. Here she was, kissing a guy in his arms after years of solitude and loneliness.

"I'm sorry…" he said. "I didn't mean to—"

Tomoko shook her head, cutting him off.

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I…" he started.

"It's okay" she said, her voice quaking.

"I just couldn't control myself…" he said.
Tomoko looked away shyly, then back into his eyes.

"I love you Tomoko,"

Love?

The concept was extremely foreign to her.

"I love you too," she said, out of pure impulse.

There was something powerful, so very powerful about her voice when she replied. Something she had never heard in her own voice. She still shook violently—uncontrollably— in his arms, but she felt braver than she had.

The two leaned in once more... and kissed.