Blaze: new chapter
Darth: yup
Wolfy: hi
Blaze: hi
Palpypie: who the hell are you?
Wolfy: co-author
Blaze: yup now get out of here (kicks Palpypie out of the computer room)
Anakin: nice!
Blaze: (laughs) here is chapter 7 and I hope that you like it. Reviews are always appreciated and this is going to be an extremely long chapter. I hope that its' funny
Disclaimer: I do not own Wolfy, America's Got Talent, The Hunt for Atlantis by Andy McDermott, bazookas, Friday by Rebecca Black, megaphones, any real, living people mentioned, Victorious, Justin Bieber, UNO, cappuccinos, dictionaries, Star Trek, the USS Enterprise, butter, paperweights, pie, pitchforks, torches, E.T. by Katy Perry and Butterfly by Mariah Carey.
Chapter 7
The Talentless Morons and a Star
With the Dunderheads, the city-closet…
Palpypie glowered angrily at the street where one of Voldymuffin's top agents, Bellatrix, was pouting nearby and he glared at Voldymuffin. "Must she keep doing that? It's annoying," he exclaimed.
Voldymuffin had an arm in a cast and a bandage wrapped around his head from when he leapt out of the tank just before it and the two drones exploded. Lucius, Dooky's twin brother Saruman and Durizzle had their arms in a cast and were glowering at the remains of the tank that was lying, smoking, next to them.
"I've tried to tell her to stop that but she doesn't listen to me or she tries to curse me," Voldymuffin grumbled glaring at Bellatrix.
"That's going to get annoying," Galbycakes muttered.
"Tell me about it."
"We must come up with a new plan," Palpypie declared.
"How long have we been trying to do that?" Sauron growled.
"Tell me about it," Kronybread. "What the heck are we supposed to do? Sink Blaze's Candy Mansion? Dare Blaze and the Revolutionaries to mud wrestle in the snow? Challenge Blaze to a talent competition?" He said it in such a way as if he didn't expect the other Dunderheads to take him up on his suggestion.
"That's a brilliant idea!" Palpypie exclaimed.
"Which one?" Galbycakes asked warily while Kronybread frowned in confusion.
"Those are stupid ideas," he protested.
"They are not stupid ideas, Kronus," Palpypie said, "and I believe challenging Blaze and the Revolutionaries to a talent competition would work."
"Yes just like all your other plans worked," Lucius sneered.
"I'll have to agree with ya on that, dawg," Durizzle said.
"Be silent, both of you," Voldymuffin and Galbycakes snapped.
"Let's contact your spy, Voldymuffin…er I mean Voldemort," Palpypie said, "and have him give them the message. Just tell him to tell the Revolutionaries that we dropped it and he happened to pick it up."
"Like they'll believe that but fine," Voldymuffin growled before he proceeded to call his spy.
Snape popped beside them sighing. "Why do you always have to call at the most inconvenient times?" he complained.
"Sevvy!" Bellatrix cried getting to her feet and throwing her arms around Snape.
"I told you not to call me that, Bella!"
"Sorry Sev."
Snape sighed. "Would you mind releasing me?" he asked.
Bellatrix pouted but released Snape but Lucius watched, with some surprise, when Snape actually let Bellatrix hold his hand. Voldymuffin stared in incredulous shock.
You do realize incredulous and shock mean the same thing, don't you?
How? Incredulous is an adjective and shock is a verb or a noun.
Did you look it up in the dictionary?
No, the thesaurus, why?
You're incorrigible.
I thought I was crazy.
You're that too.
Get back to narrating the story. You can argue with Obama later.
You let your own daughter speak to you like that.
Hey, it's her story.
True.
Dad…
Oh fine, hold your horses…
"Why was this an inconvenient time for you?" Galbycakes asked.
Snape shrugged. "Potter and his friends challenged Luke, Anakin and Obi-Wan to a dance competition so it was rather funny to see Potter embarrass himself on city-country-world-galaxy-closet wide television," he replied.
"I've gotta see that!" Durrizle exclaimed.
"Later," Galbycakes snapped.
"Spoilsport."
"So what did you want, my lord?" Snape asked glancing at Voldymuffin.
"For one, break up with Bellatrix! It's annoying seeing you two together!"
"Nah."
"I AM YOUR LORD!"
"And your point is…?"
Voldymuffin glared at him before pointing his wand at Snape. "Crucio!" he barked angrily.
Snape rolled his eyes as a mirror appeared in front of him and redirected the spell into Galbycakes.
"OW!" Galbycakes shrieked like a girl in pain. "I DID NOT SHRIEK LIKE A GIRL!"
"You sorta did, dawg," Durrizle said.
Galbycakes glared angrily at Durizzle who merely shrugged.
"I'm sorry but I cannot tell a lie," he said.
"ANYWAY," Voldymuffin growled, "Palpypie and I have come up with a new plan."
"'Palpypie and I'? I was the one that came up with that plan, you idiot!" Palpypie shouted.
"No I did!" Voldymuffin shouted.
"I did, you nincompoops!" Kronybread screamed into a megaphone that he had taken from the Megaphone Building that lay next to them.
Snape glanced at the Megaphone Building before sighing. "That certainly explains a lot," he muttered.
"Why do you say that?" Bellatrix asked.
"Blaze, Eragon, Murtagh and Legolas kept shouting into megaphones when we were watching the dance competition but when I asked them where they got them, Blaze just said a building," Snape replied before he glared at the three arguing Dunderheads. "Now if you would so kind as to shut the bloody hell up then you could tell me why the bloody hell you called me here when I could be watching Potter make an ass of himself, more so than usual."
A loud "I HEARD THAT!" sounded.
Voldymuffin glared at him. "Fine, the three of us came up with a plan," he said.
"Of course the two idiots who didn't contribute a single thing to the plan takes a third of the credit," Kronybread muttered.
"Hey, you're the one that insisted it was a stupid plan," Galbycakes pointed out.
"Well it is."
Voldymuffin glowered angrily at Kronybread and Galbycakes and cast a silencing charm over them. "We've decided that we'll give you a note that you'll deliver to either Blaze, Anakin or Murtagh, as they are Blaze's second and third in command and you'll tell them that you found it and decided it was suspicious," he said.
"Do you honestly think they'll believe that?" Snape asked raising his eyebrows. "They're not stupid, well maybe Anakin."
Another loud "I HEARD THAT!" sounded.
Jar-Jar popped up at that moment.
"What the hell are you doing here? GET OUT OF HERE! NO ONE LIKES YOU!" Vader shouted picking up Jar-Jar and tossing him into a pit that had suddenly appeared beside them.
"But mesa do nothin'," Jar-Jar protested.
Maul picked up a large boulder with the Force and dropped it on Jar-Jar's head.
"Here's the note," Voldymuffin said handing Snape the note who read it and scowled.
"I thought you said you passed that English class we made you take," he said.
"I did!"
"Then why can I hardly read this chicken scratch you call writing."
"I didn't say how I passed it."
"Next time we send you to an English class, we're taking away your wand and Nagini."
Nagini popped up at that moment before hissing in fury when the hawk continued to pester her. "Sssstop that!" she hissed. "Why did that ssstupid human not cassst that ssstupid ssspell on me!"
"I guess he forget," Lucius said with a shrug.
"That blood traitor would lose his own head if it weren't attached," Bellatrix growled.
"Yes he would," Snape agreed.
A loud "I HEARD THAT!" sounded.
"Why can everyone hear when I insult a Revolutionary but not hear anything else?" Snape wondered aloud.
"We're talking about Blaze," Bellatrix said.
"True enough. Speaking of that, Blaze has a new co-author so…let's just say you'd better get used to being called Trixie," Snape said before he apparated away while Bellatrix stared in surprise after him.
The Cake Building, the city-closet…
Blaze and her co-author for the chapter, Wolfy, walked into the Cake Building. Wolfy had long blonde hair currently in a braid that reached her hips, blue-gray eyes and was wearing a skirt, cute tee and leggings. In one hand was a giant bazooka type gun and in the other, she was carrying a yellow teddy bear.
"And this is the Cake Building," Blaze said pointing to the building. "I think Anakin, Luke and Eragon are in there."
Wolfy smiled at the mention of Eragon. "Let's go!" She shouted happily before she ran into the room.
Blaze sighed before jogging after her and the two of them slipped into the cake shaped building. She immediately jogged to Anakin's side while Wolfy hugged Eragon who stared at her in surprise.
"Uh hi, who are you?" he asked.
"Don't be rude!" Luke snapped around the cake he was eating.
"You should listen to your own advice, son," Anakin muttered.
"Look who's talking!"
"Oh shut up!"
"Make me!"
"I can ground you, you know."
"You wouldn't."
"Yes, yes I would."
Luke glared at his father before stalking away muttering something about 'idiotic, mean fathers' under his breath.
Anakin smirked.
"By the way, this is Wolfy, she's my co-author for the chapter," Blaze said gesturing to Wolfy. "And you're her favorite character."
"YAY! I'M FINALLY SOMEONE'S FAVORITE CHARACTER!" Eragon screamed happily.
"Did you have to scream so loud, you little twit?" Anakin growled glaring at Eragon.
"Don't you dare call Eragon a twit, Jedi-Turned-Sith-Turned Jedi," Wolfy snapped.
Anakin looked confused. "Okay, that was a…weird comeback," he admitted but he did apologize to Eragon who smirked ear to ear. "Ah wipe that little smirk off your face, punk."
"Who are you calling a punk? I thought Justin Bieber was a punk," Eragon protested.
"He is but he's also a twerp who couldn't sing if his life was hanging by a thread," Anakin snorted loud enough for a small group of fanatic Bieber fans to hear.
"He insulted Bieber! Get him!" the Bieber fans screamed before they ran after Anakin.
"Ah shit! Not again!" Anakin protested before he took off running with the fanatically screaming fangirls chasing after him.
Eragon frowned. "Again?" he echoed.
Blaze shrugged. "I have no idea. I was fighting with Padmé and Murtagh over a chocolate window at the Chocolate Building before I came here," she said.
"Oh."
"Come on, let's go find something to blow up!" Wolfy suggested.
"OKAY!" Eragon shouted gleefully before he and Wolfy ran away.
Blaze sighed before apparating away but not without taking a large star-shaped cake with her.
The Chocolate Building, the city-closet…
What are they doing? Saphira pointing with her snout at Murtagh and Padmé who were glaring at each other with UNO cards in their hands.
UNO game. Whoever wins gets that chocolate window, Firnen replied pointing to a chocolate window that lay nearby.
Why don't they just break it in half and each get half? Thorn asked confused.
Because they both want all of it, duh, Shurikan said rolling his great black eyes. Sometimes, Thorn, you are a real idiot.
Look who's talking, Galbycakes' dragon, Thorn retorted.
I had no choice but to become his dragon, Shurikan shrieked in protested glaring angrily at the great red dragon.
Sure you di…ohhh what's that? Thorn said before he flew off after an ant carrying a piece of popcorn leaving the three dragons to stare after him in confusion.
Okay then, that was weird, Saphira said.
Tell me about it, Firnen said and Shurikan growled in agreement.
"Ha, I win!" Murtagh shouted tossing his last card down before he grabbed the chocolate window and began chewing on it while Padmé tossed her cards onto the table angrily and kicked the table.
"STOP DOING THAT OR I'LL SUE YOU!" the table shrieked getting up, kicking Padmé and walking way.
"Boy, even the tables have bad attitudes," Padmé muttered before she walked into the chocolate building to get another chocolate window.
Why didn't she do that in the beginning? Firnen asked confused.
Who knows why humans do anything? Shurikan replied.
Where'd Saphira go?
She's trying to get Thorn unstuck. He followed the ant and got his head stuck in a window in the Window Building.
That idiot.
Yup.
The Steel Cage Building, the city-closet…
Percy and Poseidon were glaring at each other when Grover, Annabeth, Arya, Sirius and Aragorn walked into the Steel Cage Building. Nearby, Wormtongue and Wormtail, who wasn't, for some reason, a firefly anymore, were lying unconscious on top of a crushed table. The crushed table was spewing curses left and right, some of which Grover has never heard before.
Sirius glowered at the mention of Wormtail before smirking as Wormtail and Wormtongue's unconscious bodies were tossed off the table and the table stalked away muttering something about "suing these stupid humans out of everything they own".
"Why are you two glaring at each other?" Arya asked.
"Wormtongue and Wormtail both fell off the steel cage into that table and he's blaming me!" Percy shouted.
"I wasn't the one who pushed Wormtongue into Wormtail," Poseidon snapped.
"You were the one that got out of the way when you could have stopped them from falling off."
"Why are you two arguing about this? I like them this way just fine," Sirius said.
"So do I. Two less Dunderheads to worry about," Aragorn said.
Grover snorted. "The Dunderheads will just heal them."
"Doubt it," Sirius said with a snort. "Lucius was the one that left them here in the first place. I believe his exact words were 'I'm getting the bloody hell out of here and I'm not taking that bloody rat with me so I'm leaving him behind'."
"How would you know that?"
"'Cause I tried to curse him when he left the building."
"Oh."
Annabeth snorted. "They'll probably still come and get them."
"True."
Blaze's Candy Mansion, the city-closet…
"Where is everyone?" Sam wondered aloud as he walked through the entrance hall of the mansion and into the living room where Frodo was curled into a ball clutching his stale cookie.
"My cookie, my precious," he whispered as he rocked back and forth.
Sam rolled his eyes and sighed.
Mace drove his Mustang straight through the wall before climbing out of the driver's seat and gazing at Frodo. "Still going on about his cookie?" he asked turning his dark gaze to Sam.
"Yup. It's getting annoying."
"I'll bet."
"GET BACK HERE, FERRET-BOY!" a shriek sounded and Mace and Sam turned as one to find Draco running into the candy mansion with an angry Hermione just behind him and Ron jogged after them.
"What's going on?" Mace asked as Draco ducked to avoid the pillows, stones, frogs, lizards and dinosaur eggs that Hermione was tossing at him.
"Hermione called Draco a dork, which is true, and he sneered and called her a 'mudblood'. She got pissed off and has been trying to kill him ever since," Ron replied with a shrug.
"I am not a dork!" Draco shouted before he leapt into Mace's Mustang and drove off rapidly.
Hermione scowled, leapt onto a random Harley Davidson motorcycle that belonged to Luke and chased after Draco.
"That's MY Mustang!" Mace shouted leaping into Anakin's speeder and chasing after them.
"Okay then," Sam muttered before glancing at Frodo. "Mister Frodo…"
"MY COOKIE! GET AWAY FROM MY COOKIE!" Frodo screamed.
Sam sighed.
Outside the Cheese Building, the city-closet…
Gandalf, Remus, Luna, Orizzle, Nasuada and Morzan watched as Arwen and Eowyn fought but they found that it was the same thing over and over again and they soon grew bored.
"I see cheese!" Morzan shouted running toward the Cheese Building.
Remus frowned. "What the bloody hell was that about?" he wondered aloud.
"I have no idea," Gandalf said. "But I do know that he's an idiot and I would really like a cappuccino or ale. Did you know the stranger loves cappuccinos? Or that Blaze is crazy? And Anakin's insane and so is Luke? Did you know that Bellatrix and Snape are dating? I find that just hilarious and I can't believe."
"SHUT UP!" Nasuada screamed but Gandalf just kept talking about randomness until Orizzle and Nasuada looked ready to strangle him.
Luna smiled. "I can solve this easily," she said reaching into her backpack before she pulled out a book and held it in front of Gandalf.
Gandalf caught sight of it and immediately collapsed onto the ground before starting to snore softly.
"I've gotta remember that for next time," Orizzle exclaimed.
"Yup, it's the perfect way to get Gandalf to shut up," Nasuada agreed.
"I still think it's stupid that he falls asleep at the sight of a book," Remus muttered.
"Who asked you, you stupid cat?" Orizzle snapped.
"I'm a WEREWOLF so stop calling me a bloody cat!"
Luna smiled dreamily before she drifted off.
"Where's she going?" Nasuada asked.
"I have no idea."
The Cappuccino Building, the city-closet…
The stranger walked into the Cappuccino Building before gazing around when he noticed that it was more packed than usual and he briefly wondered if it was because of the dance competition that ended just before Blaze went to the Cake Building but was still being broadcast all across the city-country-world-galaxy-closet-thing.
"Ha, that idiot can't dance at all," Zoe shouted.
"No he can't," Thalia agreed.
"He's Harry. He may be the Boy-Who-Would-Not-Die, the Chosen One and the biggest pain in the ass at Hogwarts but he is certainly not a champion dancer," Ahsoka said with a snort.
"I AM NOT A PAIN IN THE ASS!" Harry's voice screamed from wherever it was he was. The stranger didn't know.
Even though he was supposed to since he was supposed to be narrating."
"Oh shut up," the stranger grumbled.
Don't you dare tell me to shut up!
"Yelling at you who is, stranger?" Yoda asked curiously.
"Either Padmé or Leia, I'm not sure which," the stranger replied.
Leia. Padmé's still eating the chocolate windows. Either that or still fighting Murtagh over the chocolate windows of the Chocolate Building, I'm not sure.
"Ah okay."
Qui-Gon frowned. "Where's Blaze?" he asked.
"How should I know? Leia's narrating not me."
Well, Leia was narrating but she just found out Han teamed up with Fred and George Weasley to pull a prank on her, Padme, Anakin and Luke and she's going to stop, to quote her, "that scruffy looking idiot".
"Ah. So where is Blaze?"
Trying to gather everyone together. Apparently, Snape brought back some information on the Dunderheads that she thinks we should know.
"We should probably head over there then," Qui-Gon said.
"I'm getting a cappuccino," the stranger said.
"I want another one," Ahsoka said.
"Another cappuccino I will get as well," Yoda agreed.
Qui-Gon sighed sipping at his tenth cappuccino that he got just that day.
With the Dunderheads, the city-closet…
Wolfy popped up in the center of the Dunderheads causing Galbycakes to scream like a little girl and Kronybread to faint from shock.
Wimp.
Tell me about it.
"All right, who's narrating now?" Wolfy asked curiously.
Padmé and Leia. We're teaming up.
"Ah okay."
"You're a Revolutionary, aren't you? What the blazes are you doing here?" Palpypie demanded angrily.
Wolfy smirked. "Torturing the character I hate the most," she said glaring at Bellatrix.
"What did I do?" Trixie asked before she snarled angrily. "Who the bloody hell changed my name?"
"Blaze said that'll be your name while it's my point of view, Trixie, bringer of joy," Wolfy smirked before she hit Trixie with her yellow teddy bear, causing her to snarl in pain. She then pointed her bazooka like gun at Trixie causing her to apparate away.
Wolfy chased after her but not without blasting the dunderheads with her bazooka-like gun.
"Get away from me, you mudblood," Trixie screamed.
"Don't you dare call me that," Wolfy cried attempting to blast Trixie with her bazooka-like gun.
"What did I ever do to you?"
"YOU KILLED DOBBY!" Wolfy shouted attempting to blast Trixie again but she apparated away at the last second and Wolfy, scowling, quickly chased after her.
Wolfy grabbed the remote Blaze had given her and pressed a button and a bunch of nanobots armed with zappers suddenly dashed toward Trixie who appeared several miles away.
"I think I got away from…ow!" Trixie shouted as the nanobots zapped her. "What the hell? It feels like I'm getting bit by a bunch of fleas. Ow!" Trixie ran away with the nanobots chasing after her.
Wolfy smirked before turning around and walking calmly away.
The Conference Room, Atlantis…
"So what was the big emergency?" Han asked walking into the conference room with Chewbacca just behind him. He noticed that he and Chewie were the last ones to arrive and he frowned.
"Take a seat," Blaze said. "Go sit between Hermione and Draco before Hermione kills Draco and Hermione, put that bazooka away."
Hermione scowled. "Fine," she muttered before she put the bazooka she was holding away and Draco sighed with relief.
Harry smirked.
"By the way, Potter, you have very nice dancing skills," Snape sneered voice dripping with cold sarcasm.
Potter blushed in embarrassment while Sirius scowled. "Must you be so sarcastic, you greasy git."
"Yes, yes I must you mangy mutt."
"Mangy mutt is so original."
"Well I could always call you mangy mongrel."
Sirius glared at that.
"Those two are annoying," Ahsoka said with a sigh.
"Yes they are," Mace, who was glowering angrily at Draco, said.
"Yup," Luke said brightly.
"You do know that Hermione stole your motorcycle, don't you son?" Anakin asked.
"Yup, Mace took your speeder."
"So that's where those scratches came from. I told you I didn't do it, master!" Anakin shouted at Obi-Wan, who was sitting right next to him.
"I'm sitting right next to you, Anakin. You don't need to shout," Obi-Wan muttered.
Anakin smirked before tossing a water balloon at Mace.
Luke tossed a water balloon at Hermione.
"And that is for stealing our rides," they said simultaneously.
Hermione and Mace scowled.
"Anyway," Blaze said. "Apparently, Palpypie wants to challenge me to a talent competition, one that we can probably win easily since they are nothing more than a bunch of talentless morons."
"Morons they are indeed," Yoda agreed.
"Especially Trixie," Sirius said before he burst out laughing and Wolfy, who was sitting beside Eragon, joined in.
Snape sighed. "Well I did warn her," he said.
"So we're going to take him up on his offer?" Sam asked.
"Probably. We just need to decide on four competitors to compete against their four competitors and I have decided that I'll have one from each world."
"Cool. So who?"
"I'll let you all decide but first, who are the competitors for the Dunderheads?"
"Galbycakes, Kronybread, Maul and Bellatrix," Snape replied.
"The insane bitch you suddenly like? Wow," Sirius said and was promptly stunned by Snape.
Harry glowered at him but Snape merely sneered back at him.
"Let's start with the people from Alagaesia," Blaze said.
"I'd say Arya," Eragon shouted instantly.
"I'll have to agree with Eragon," Murtagh said.
"So do I," Nasuada said and Brom nodded in agreement.
"I say Nasuada only because Brom voted for Arya," Morzan declared.
"Idiot," Orizzle muttered. "I go for Ayra."
"All right, the votes are counted and Arya will be one of our competitors. Now then, let's go with…the galaxy far, far away."
Padmé!
"I say Leia!" Han said glaring at the stranger/narrator/pain in the arse.
Blaze!
"What? Han thought it, not me," Blaze protested.
"Hmmm, I say…" Anakin broke off as an extremely annoying song suddenly started playing.
(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
[Verse 1]
7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
[Verse 2]
7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
[Chorus]
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
[Bridge]
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don't want this weekend to end
[Rap Verse]
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all
"Ahhhh, my ears, my ears are bleeding," Blaze screamed while Wolfy was running around screaming with her fingers in her ears.
"Someone turn that horrid song off," Snape screamed.
"For once I agree with Snape," Harry and Sirius both screamed at the same time.
Ron fainted at that.
"Oops, sorry about that," Aragorn said pulling out his phone, a regular flip phone covered in sparkles, opening it and closing it again. "I thought I had it on vibrate. OW!" He yelled when Legolas slammed a frying pan into his head. "What the hell was that for?"
"For having such a stupid song as your ringtone," Legolas snapped.
"Wolfy, the song's over," Blaze called to Wolfy.
"Thank God," Wolfy said with a sigh.
"All right, so who were you going to vote for, Anakin?" Blaze asked looking at Anakin.
"I saw Leia," Anakin replied.
"So do I," Luke said.
Growls.
"I say Padmé," Mace said and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.
"Padmé wins," Blaze said, "since she got four votes, including the stranger's, and Leia only got three."
Padmé blushed while she chewed on a chocolate doorknob.
"Okay, let's go to middle-earth," Blaze said.
"Arwen!"
"Eowyn!"
Aragorn and Legolas had said those names at the exact same time and they glared angrily at each other.
"Arwen," Gandalf said.
"Eowyn!" Sam declared.
"All right, Frodo, you have the tie-breaking vote," Blaze said.
"MY COOKIE!" Frodo screamed.
"Okay then. Frodo's still…loony so I guess I'll have to go to Earth and let the world of Percy Jackson chose the next competitor."
"I say Percy since his tap dancing is awesome," Thalia declared.
"I agree with Thalia," Zoe said and Annabeth and Grover nodded in agreement.
"Okay," Blaze said. "The last competitor will be chosen from the people from Hogwarts."
"I already know for a fact that we would lose big time if we chose Potter," Snape sneered.
"I'll have to agree with Snape on that," Hermione said causing Ron, who had just woken up, to faint again from shock.
Sirius sneered. "Harry is a good dancer." It was very hard for Sirius to say this with a straight face and he suddenly burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, kiddo, but I…" He broke off and started laughing again.
Harry glowered at his godfather.
"I would suggest Hermione," Remus said quietly.
"I say Luna," Harry said.
"I say Hermione," Ron said firmly.
"Luna," Draco said.
"Luna," Sirius said when he got his laughter under control.
"Hermione," Luna said softly.
"All right, Snape, you have the deciding vote," Blaze said.
"That greasy git better pick Hermione," Ron growled.
Snape raised his eyebrows. "Well I was going to pick Hermione but since you couldn't keep your mouth shut, Weasley, I vote for Luna."
"Nice going, you idiot!" Hermione said slapping Ron upside the head.
"Okay," Blaze said. "So our four competitors are Arya, Padmé, Percy and Luna." She wrote it down on her paper before she stood up. "Let's head over to the Theater Building so we can go over the prizes."
"We're so kicking the dunderhead's arses!" Harry shouted.
"Language, Mr. Potter," Snape snapped.
Ha alliteration.
"You're annoying with your alliteration, stranger," Draco muttered.
"Tell me about it," Remus agreed.
Side Room, the Theater Building…
Blaze walked into the side room of the Theater Building with Anakin just behind her and Palpypie and Voldymuffin, glaring at each other, walked into the room. "Okay, we're here. Let's discuss the judges and the prizes," Blaze said.
Palpypie smirked evilly. "It's like this," he said. "If you lose then I want your remote for a full day."
"Week," Voldymuffin protested.
"Day," Blaze said firmly. "And if I win?"
Palpypie shrugged.
Anakin pursed his lips together in thought. "If we win," he said, "then you have to spend a full day in the Random Building."
"What the heck is the Random Building?" Voldymuffin exclaimed.
"Long story," Blaze said with a shrug.
Palpypie laughed gleefully. "You'll rue the day you agreed to this, Lady Inasnum," he said.
Snape, who was hiding in the shadows, murmured "muffliato" under his breath when Blaze signaled him and she tipped her head to one side. "The idiot never really looks at loopholes, does he?" she murmured.
"Nope why? Do you think they'll actually win?" Anakin was incredulous.
"They'd need a miracle to win but if they do get that miracle then Palpypie never set a specific day to use my remote. I can always make it for a day in September 5,695 years from now."
Anakin laughed.
Snape canceled the spell and Blaze glanced at the two Dunderheads in front of her. "All right, now we need to decide on judges. These judges must be impartial and unbiased."
"Those two mean the same thing, you idiot," Voldymuffin hissed.
"They do?" Blaze pulled out a dictionary randomly out of thin air before she scanned the contents. "It says here that impartial means unbiased, fair. Huh, they do mean the same thing. Never knew that." She tossed the dictionary away and it hit Voldymuffin on the head.
"Ow, stupid mudblood," Voldymuffin hissed and a muzzle suddenly appeared over his mouth.
As Voldymuffin fought to remove the muzzle, Palpypie narrowed his eyes. "You Revolutionaries will be partial toward yourselves," he sneered.
"I say Obi-Wan should be a judge," Anakin said. "He's the most unbiased person I know."
"He is unbiased," Palpypie agreed. "Fine but I suggest that Snape be a judge as well."
In the shadows, Snape raised his eyebrows.
"I agree," Voldymuffin hissed after getting the muzzle off his face.
"So who should be the third judge?" Blaze wondered.
"I suggest either Nasuada or Annabeth," Anakin said.
"Annabeth," Palpypie said firmly glaring at Blaze as if daring her to object.
Blaze merely raised an eyebrow but shrugged. "Fine by me," she said before she turned around and jogged out of the room with Anakin just behind her. As she left, she pressed a button and the USS Enterprise drove through the room, running Palpypie and Voldymuffin over, and kept on going.
"That was the Enterprise," Blaze murmured to Anakin in reply to his confused look.
"The starship?"
Blaze face-palmed.
The Theater Building, the city-closet…
"Go on, kill him," Voldymuffin growled.
"Why me?" Palpypie demanded glaring at Voldymuffin.
"Hey, I failed so I figured you'd be able to do it."
"Fine." Palpypie ignited his lightsaber and leapt at Harry who, crying out in fright, leapt back before stealing Anakin's lightsaber and igniting it.
"Why must you always take mine?" Anakin exclaimed.
Obi-Wan, who was sitting at the judges table, let out a long despairing sigh.
Harry blocked Palpypie's blow clumsily but, with a few swift movements and a few quick silent and wandless spells cast by Snape, who was sitting beside Obi-Wan, he managed to disarm Palpypie. Palpypie scowled angrily before leaping at Harry, grabbed his throat and began strangling him.
"Die, American bastard!" he screamed.
"American?" Harry used his free hand to punch Palpypie hard in the nose, breaking it before he kneed Palpypie hard in the groin. "I'm British, you twat!" With that, he stalked to his seat while Palpypie moaned in pain.
"Nice one, Harry," Anakin said before he grabbed his lightsaber back from Harry and added, curtly, "Next time, ask first."
Luke smirked.
"Shut up, son."
"I didn't say anything," Luke protested.
Blaze stepped onto the stage that resembled the stage used in America's Got Talent. "Hello everyone and welcome to the 1st Annual City-Closet Talent Show," she declared into her microphone before frowning and sighing. "Wolfy, please stop torturing Trixie…er I mean Bellatrix. She needs to perform. You can do so afterwards."
"Fine," Wolfy muttered walking over to her seat.
"Anyway, today we're going to have eight performances today. Four from the Dunderheads and four from the Revolutionaries. The total scores of all four competitors will decide the winner. Our first performance shall be Arya."
Arya stepped onto the stage as Blaze walked away.
"ARYA!" Eragon and Luke yelled before they glared at each other.
Firnen yowled happily for his rider.
Arya began dancing across the stage and everyone watched her movements with surprise in their eyes.
Voldymuffin moved to Snape's side. "You better give that little mudblood a bad number," he hissed.
"Fine my lord," Snape muttered back out of the corner of his mouth and Voldymuffin smirked before going back to his seat.
Arya finished.
"What's the score?" Blaze asked.
"I say eight," Annabeth said with a shrug.
"Eight," Obi-Wan replied.
"Eight," Snape replied.
Voldymuffin stared flabbergasted.
"All right, Arya's score is 24 out of 30."
"Why the hell did you give her a good number?" Voldymuffin demanded moving to Snape's side.
"I didn't," Snape said with a shrug. "Don't you know anything, Voldy? Ten means worst, one means best."
"Oh, that's okay then." Voldymuffin went back to his seat.
Snape smirked inwardly. Ah it's so easy lying through my teeth to ol' Voldy, he thought.
"Next up is Galbycakes," Blaze said.
Galbycakes performed the shuffle but was immediately buzzed several times by people watching.
"All right, scores?" Blaze asked while Galbycakes pouted.
"Seven," Snape said.
"Two," Annabeth said. "That was awful."
"One," Obi-Wan said. "Really awful."
"And that puts your score at ten. Epic fail, big time," Blaze said before using a stone foot to kick Galbycakes off the stage. "And next up is Padmé."
"PADMÉ!" the stranger as well as half the male population in the room shouted as Padmé walked into the stage before she began singing E.T. by Katy Perry. When she was done, everyone cheered.
Voldymuffin, snarling in anger, stalked to Snape's side. "You lied to me, you idiot. Ten means the best," he hissed.
"And here you say you're actually smart," Snape sneered back.
"Give this little bitch a bad score or else."
"Fine, fine now get out of here before Blaze suspects something." Not that Blaze would.
"Fine." Voldymuffin stalked back to his seat.
"Ten," Annabeth declared.
"Eight," Obi-wan said.
"Two," Snape replied before casting a wandless shield charm when half the male population attempted to bomb him with paperweights and butter.
"And your total score is 20," Blaze said and Padmé walked off the stage. "Our next competitor is Maul."
Maul stepped onto the stage before he began doing ballet, shocking everyone in the audience. When he finished, it was to absolute silence.
"Scores?" Blaze said being the first to break the silence.
"Good score," Voldymuffin hissed to Snape.
"Will you get out of here?" Snape hissed back.
"Six," Annabeth said.
"Five," Obi-Wan said.
"Ten," Snape said and, when everyone glared at him, shrugged. "What? He was actually rather good."
"Typical," Sirius sneered.
Snape glared at Sirius.
Sirius glared at Snape.
"Stop that you two," Blaze snapped and they reluctantly stopped glaring at each other. "All right, that puts Maul's total score at 21."
Everyone glared at Snape.
Snape sneered back at them.
"Blaze went to get some candy. Our next competitor is Percy," Wolfy declared.
Percy walked onto the stage before he began tap dancing like a pro. When he was done, everyone clapped and Wolfy asked for the scores.
"Ten," Annabeth declared.
"Of course she would give him ten," Palpypie muttered.
"Seven," Obi-Wan replied.
"Three," Snape replied before deflecting several things they tossed at him.
"Total score 20. Our next competitor is Kronybread," said Wolfy.
Kronybread started playing poker with everyone on the stage until he kept winning even though he couldn't get anyone to play with him.
Three buzz sounds sounded.
"Severus!" Voldymuffin hissed.
"Sorry, hand slipped," Snape said.
"One," Obi-Wan said.
"Three," Annabeth said flatly. They were instructed to not give the competitors zero or anything below zero.
"Ten," Snape said only because Voldymuffin and Palpypie were glowering angrily at him. He, again, had to dodge a bunch of ammunition tossed at him.
"And that puts your total score at fourteen," Wolfy said glowering at Snape who merely glared back impassively. "Our next performer is Luna."
"YAY LUNA!" Everyone shouted.
Luna stepped onto the stage before she started to sing. However, halfway through her song, she forgot the lyrics and her voice turned hoarse. Everyone turned to glare at Snape.
"I didn't do it," Snape protested.
"Scores?" Wolfy called.
"Five, sorry Luna. It was all right but then it got a bit bad at the end," Obi-Wan apologized.
"Four for the same reason," Annabeth said.
"One," Snape replied before he scowled when he got hit on the head with a frying pan and a dictionary. "Stop throwing things at me you imbeciles."
Wolfy sighed. "I'm sorry Luna but that puts your score at ten."
Luna nodded before she walked off the stage and immediately went to find medicine to help her sore throat.
Blaze walked onto the stage. "Our last contestant of the day is Bellatrix (Trixie)," she said.
Wolfy glowered angrily at Trixie.
Bellatrix/Trixie walked onto the stage before she started singing Butterfly by Mariah Carey. When she was finished, she was met with a dumbfounded silence. Voldymuffin was staring, mouth agape. Kronybread had fainted, the Revolutionaries were so shocked that they just kept staring. For Bellatrix/Trixie sounded almost exactly like Mariah Carey when she sang that song that it was almost as if Mariah Carey, herself, was there.
And that was saying something.
"Who knew she could sing that well?' Snape said wonderingly.
"Tell me about it," Obi-Wan agreed eyes wide.
"I would never have thought a Dunderhead would have a great voice," Annabeth admitted eyes also wide.
"Scores?" Blaze said from where she was restraining Wolfy from murdering Bellatrix/Trixie where she stood.
"Ten," the three judges said simultaneously.
"And that puts your score at 30, Trixie," Wolfy sneered.
Bellatrix/Trixie grinned happily and insanely.
"The total scores are thus," Blaze said. "The Revolutionaries have a total score of 74. Unfortunately, the Dunderheads have a total score of 75 so that means they win."
"YES!" The Dunderheads screamed happily.
"FIX!" Sirius screamed as everyone booed the Dunderheads.
"Hey, we won 'cause we rock," Palpypie shouted and was promptly hit upside the head with a piece of pie.
"Now give us the remote," Kronybread shouted.
Blaze raised an eyebrow. "As I recall," she said, "the terms of the agreement were if I win then you all would be locked inside the Random Building for a full day. But if you win then I will give you my remote for a full day. I never said what day though and I have decided that you can have the remote September 23, 7707 A.D."
"What the hell? That's over 5000 years from now," Galbycakes shrieked.
"Hey, it's not my fault you weren't specific," Blaze said with a smile and the Dunderheads glared angrily at her.
Snape smirked. "And thus the stupidity of the Dunderheads gets worse," he said before he glanced at the angry crowd. "And I'll be hiding while you explain everything to that angry mob that is about to attack me with a bunch of pitchforks and torches." With that, he disapparated to an unknown location while the mob immediately ran out of the Theater Building to try and find Snape.
Blaze chuckled faintly.
A/n what do you think?
Blaze: wow that was the 18 page more than 6,800 word chapter 7
Darth: why'd you make it so long?
Blaze: I was going to split it into two chapters but, since I told my co-author she would get to co-author the next chapter too, I decided to just keep it one chapter, an extremely long chapter yes but still one chapter
Darth: why did you make Bellatrix sing good?
Blaze: spur of the moment decision
Severus: wow, you're an amazing singer
Bellatrix/Trixie: (smirks) yes, yes I am now will you do me a favor?
Severus: what?
Bellatrix/Trixie: hide me! Wolfy's chasing after me again with her bazooka-like gun
Severus: (grabs Bellatrix/Trixie's arm and apparates away)
Wolfy: Where'd they go?
Blaze: honestly, I have no idea
Wolfy: Oh well I'm going to go hunt Trixie down. I'll see you next chapter
Blaze: yup, see you next chapter.
Wolfy: (disappears)
Blaze: I hope that you found this extremely long chapter funny. Please review as they are much appreciated and I will post chapter 8 as soon as I possibly can but I doubt it'll be anytime soon
