I don't own The Big Bang Theory or the characters.
"I remember the day I was told about Leonard's illness. I remember the day I was told there was nothing else someone could do. I remember the day my wife sat me down on the couch Leonard brought to the apartment 4A all those years ago and told me he had died. I remember running to by bedroom. I remember his funeral, everyone's faces and every word that was said. But I don't remember seeing him giving up.
He was always someone who fought, not for himself, but for others. I will always wonder if he fought the disease that took him away, for himself or for his family. I know he would have loved to see his daughter growing up and eventually walking her down the aisle. I also know that even after every ridiculous fight we both had, that he cared for me. He took care of me. Like he was my big brother. But I was the one that was supposed to take care of him. I was the oldest. That doesn't mean I should've left this world first. It means that no matter what happened in this life, I should have been there for him the way he was there for me.
But I wasn't.
I only cared for myself, I thought only about myself and that he had to take care of me. I always thought he would always be there. Even when I was told he was sick. I thought people were messing with me. I thought it was only the flu. But it wasn't.
So, the divinity my mother always believed in, that she made me believe in and I never did, He took Leonard away from me. From his daughter and his wife and everyone else. It's not fair. Leonard wasn't just a friend. He was my best friend, my brother and guardian angel. Because no matter what, he was there for me and he protected me. He made me mad and made me laugh. He protected me, like a brother.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have this friends, friends I now call family. Friends he called family. But now, he isn't here. And I don't know where I'm supposed to be heading to or what to do. I need him back, even though I know he isn't coming back. He's not going to hug me when things go bad, he's not going to talk to me whenever I do a stupid thing. He's not going to do any of that.
And I miss him.
Not like everyone else. People here miss him because they will miss his hugs, like me, and will miss his pep talks, so will I. But I will also miss the way he made me tea and hot chocolate. The way he just knew what to do to make me feel better. The way he joked about me being a big baby.
I'll even miss our fights.
The fights over the old roommate agreement. Or whose turn it was to choose the movie. I'll miss the times where we fought. And the times we stopped fighting. When we realized one of us was wrong, usually he was the one wrong, and we just sat on the couch and watched a movie.
I'll miss going to the movies with him and tell him what happened on the books. I'll miss having popsicles with him, and working with him.
And God, or whoever takes people away, took Leonard away from us. But He or She will never be able to take the memories we have of him. Those will always be ours. The time I was tased or the time we were almost arrested, all in the same day that memory will always belong to me. The time we needed helium or the adventure we had in the North Pole. Mine, forever. We can share the story but, those people will never truly know what happened. Because we can tell people what happened but there are always details we forget to mention.
And there are always things we forget to say.
Things we don't say because we always think there's going to be another day. Another opportunity to tell people things we want to say to them. Sometimes is things like 'I love you', 'you're like a brother' or 'you're my hero'. Other times, like today, is 'I miss you'. But all I wanted to tell Leonard, while he was still alive, was 'I'll miss you'.
Because that's true.
Because, if it wasn't for him, I would miss the birth of my son. I would've been so scared on my wedding day that I wouldn't even be there. But Leonard talked to me, and I showed up.
This world needs more people like Leonard. But I don't want someone like Leonard. I want Leonard. I miss him, and I need him."
With that, I returned to my sit, between Amy and Maya. Maya extend her hand to me and I grabbed it. I remembered how hard it was to lose my dad, and I was already a teenager. Maya was only seven and I know for a fact that Leonard wasn't just her dad. Just like Leonard was to me, he was also her guardian angel. And her hero.
I look at her. Her brown eyes, so similar to Leonard's eyes, they weren't shining as much as they were all the other times I saw her. They were sad, like Leonard's eyes were whenever Penny was mad at him or they broke up. She was holding my hand, trying to console me while I was the one that was supposed to be doing that. After all, she had just lost her father. But just like him, she was taking care of me.
I look at Amy and she smiles at me.
"Great speech. You clearly spoke what you were thinking."
I can only nod. If I said one word, I would start to cry. I hold Amy's hand and look at Penny. She hadn't cried, I noticed. Since Leonard's passing she had become quieter, more reserved and less friendly. Everyone had noticed and told me it was normal. 'She's grieving' was what everyone told me. I believed.
I also realized that she didn't look at Maya anymore. But who could blame her. I remember my mom not looking at my brother when my dad died because they looked similar. Maybe that was what was going on with Penny. Maya and Leonard were practically the same person. Even in the way of talking to people. Maya's hand was relaxing me the same way Leonard's hugs did. I smiled when I realized that Leonard had made someone to take care of me. Even far away, he was still looking after me.
Read&Review
This part was in Leonard's funeral, when everyone talks about the person who died. I'm not sure whether Sheldon's speech was too big or not but it's Sheldon! He speaks a lot. :)
