AN: I want to thank you guys for your reviews. They are what keeps me going when I'm writing. This chapter feels like a filler, but it's not. Some key things happen. I've set up some situations for the future that include Payson and don't include Payson (at least not right away). I'm trying to make Sasha and his dad closer than what they seem on the show. The only person to get Sasha in gear is his father, so I tried to portray that in this chapter. Also at the end the ballerina the Sasha introduces to Payson, he seems to know pretty well. So she is included at the end. Please let me know what you guys think. Read and Review :).
I become aware of my surroundings as I feel the morning sun on my face and as I feel my companion stir beside me. I roll over so I can take in her lean figure and appreciate her beauty in my bed. I smirk as I think of how often she's been in my bed lately...more often than not. I slowly reach out to skim my hand down her spine and smile as she rolls over into my body. I take the opportunity to kiss her forehead in the hopes of waking her up. I smile as I see her eyes flutter open. She looks at me as if she knows I've been staring. My suspicion is proven right when she smirks at me.
"You know, it's rude to stare."
I smile at her before kissing her softly on the lips. "I wasn't staring love, I was...admiring your stunning beauty." The statement come out as more of a question. I smirk and try to distract her by trailing kisses down her neck. I grab her hips and roll over to where she's straddling my hips and smirk at her glazed expression.
"What's wrong love? Can't think straight?" My smirk slips of my face as she rolls her hips forward.
She leans forward so that our foreheads are touching. "Oh trust me Sasha, I can think straight in any situation."
My face softens as she touches her lips to mine. I push her face forward only slightly so I can cup her cheek. I stroke her face with gentle fingers. "I love you. You know that?"
She smiles softly as she nods. "Of course I know you love me. I wouldn't have married you otherwise now would I?"
My eyes pop open as I wake up from my dream. I rub a hand across my face to wake myself up. I glance at the clock and groan when the bright red lights only indicate it's four-thirty. I should have known I wouldn't have a dreamless sleep. For the past two weeks since Payson woke up, I've had the same dream; for the past two weeks I've been avoiding her. I stop by when her parents are there to let her know I'm still here, but I avoid being alone with her. Every time she sees me I feel like she knows exactly what I'm doing in staying away. I'm avoiding our unfinished discussion of why I left Boulder; more specifically of why I left her. I don't have an answer to that yet and I'm not ready to get into my feelings for her when she's still hurting.
I toss the covers off my body and pull on sweat pants and a hoodie. I grab my iPod and shove it in my pocket before stepping out of the trailer to jog around the lake. As I jog, my mind wonders to Payson and what she could do once she's fully recovered. Would she want to be involved in the sport knowing she couldn't compete? My heart shatters as another thought comes to mind. What if she wants nothing to do with the sport and everything representing it...including me? As that thought plagues my mind, I push myself faster until I'm running at a painful rate. As the sun begins it's journey up into the sky I make a run back to my trailer. Once inside I toss my iPod on the table and throw my clothes in the small hamper. I step into the shower, in the hopes that it would clear my head from all thoughts pertaining to Payson. It works for about an hour. When I grab my frosted wheat's from the cabinet, I'm plagued with memories of Payson and her disapproving comments about my eating habits. With a sigh I toss the box on the counter and grab my keys and phone.
I pull up to a restaurant hoping to get a breakfast that doesn't remind me of Payson. I sigh at how pathetic I sound...even to myself. I walk in and order some tea with eggs and toast. I ward off flirting waitresses and college students while I try to eat my breakfast. With only a couple of women coming up to me, I enjoy it with no further incident. I pay for my bill and head out to my truck. I pause for a moment and figure out where I want to go. I close my eyes until I decide to go to The Rock. My dad should still be there if Steve Tanner hasn't tossed him out yet.
I sigh in selfish relief when I see my dad's black Lincoln in the parking lot of The Rock. I park at the edge of the lot and make my way into the gym. I smile as I see Austin working on his rings routine. I look at his face and notice that he isn't all with it. He looks as if he's miles away in his thoughts. I stand and watch as he finishes with a spotty landing.
"You need to not think of other things when working on the rings Tucker. Haven't I told you that? It would help if you tighten up your stomach as well." I can't help, but give a small critique even if I'm not his coach anymore. It just comes naturally.
Austin spins around and for a change is looking grateful. "Sasha, I never thought I'd be so happy to see you in my life."
My mind automatically goes to the worst. "Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Other than Steve Tanner giving us hell and trying to get a suitable coach for us. Personally I think your dad would be awesome. Aside from you, but you're not going to be around so..." He trails off as if he doesn't know what to say.
"Actually I'm going to be around awhile."
I cringe when his eyes light up. "Really? Well hell Sasha, you can coach us then. You and your dad."
I shake my head even before the words leave his mouth. "No. Don't go there Tucker. I'm not coaching you because I'm only staying for personal reasons. So don't even go there. If you want to make it to the Olympics you have to stay here."
He scowls and strides forward until we're only a foot apart. "You're the one who says that no matter where we are, we can be great. It's us that get's us where we are in life. A location doesn't prove anything. Look at Emily...Marty recruited her from the freaking Y. So don't tell me it's the location. Hell, I'd leave The Rock if I could, but I can't because there is no where else to go. Unless of course you had a gym, but you don't."
I cringe when he uses my words against me and I smile when I realize he's right. "You know what Tucker, you're right."
I smirk when I see him nod. He looked like he was going to say something else, but he's cut off by my dad striding through the door. I cringe when my dad's eyes meet mine. From the look on his face he's had his feathers ruffled.
His voice bounces off the empty walls and makes Austin and I jump. "Office! NOW!"
He doesn't wait for a reply as he passes us. Austin smirks and strides over to chalk up his hands. "I think he's meaning you Sasha. I'd hate to be you right now cuz he looks pissed."
I glare in Austins direction as I make my way past him . "Gee Tucker...you think."
I step into the office to see my dad pacing. He looks up as the door creaks open. His face is thunderous and his eyes hold irritation.
He points to a chair. "Now Alexander, tell me something. Why have you not been to see Payson?"
I sigh and shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about dad. I go see Payson almost everyday."
He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "No Alexander. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You have not been talking to her. You just go and see her to let her know you are still here. I went by to see her yesterday. She said if I saw you to give you this."
My dad raises his eyebrow and my heart breaks as he passes me my gold medal. "Now why on earth would she have a medal of yours? You guard those things with your life. You let no one touch them...not even your family, but yet you hand one off to a gymnast whom you have only known for a year."
I sigh and lay the medal on the desk. "Look dad, it was for...encouragement. When she was out I didn't want her thinking I wasn't there so I gave her a gold medal of mine to let her know I was there."
My dad smiles as he leans against the wall. "Aaahhh I see. So you didn't want her feeling alone and scared. You are protecting her and telling her she is good, but yet you avoid her."
I raise my eyes as he finishes the thought. I scowl and go to the window. "I'm not avoiding her. If I was I wouldn't be going there everyday now would I?" I try to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but have little success.
I smirk thinking I've fooled him, but I haven't. He strides over to the window beside me. I jump when his voice is lower than normal. "No. You know exactly what I mean Alexander. Something happened in that hospital room two weeks ago. Some conversation you are avoiding perhaps. Feelings you are not wanting to face."
I sigh and walk to the other side of the room. "Dad just drop it. No matter which way I look at it, it's wrong. I shouldn't feel the way I do; I shouldn't care the way I do; and I most certainly shouldn't love her, but do I? Of course I do." I throw my hands up in exasperation and run my hand through my hair.
I slump onto the couch and lean forward. I move over as I feel my dad take the seat next to me. I smile softly when his hand comes to rest reassuringly on my shoulder. "Sasha, I've told you once before that love knows no bounds and has no limit. You can't help who you fall in love with, son."
I scoff as I sit up and lean back into the soft leather. "Dad, really? That's cliche. Of course I can not fall in love with someone. It's an emotion you can control and trust me, I know all about control."
My dad smirks. "Oh really? So when you see Payson hurt and broken you feel nothing? When you see her smile you feel nothing? Tell me something, when you heard of Payson's accident, did you feel anything at all?"
I scowl and push myself off the couch and towards the window again. "Of course I felt something. When I heard that she could be dying part of me was dying right along with her. Do you want me to tell you that when she's broken I want to take away all of her pain; that when she smiles I want to be the reason behind her joy? I can't..." My voice breaks as I'm overcome with emotions I've tried to bury for the past two weeks...for the past few months.
I slide down the wall as I realize that Payson is it for me. Whether it be a month from now or ten years from now, I will always love Payson Keeler and there is nothing I can do about it. The thought of Payson not loving me runs through my mind like a broken record. I see my dad looking concerned and try to reassure him.
"I'm fine dad. I just got hit with a painful realization. There's no one for me, but her and I may never get that happiness she has the ability to give. I just wish I could be the one to give her happiness and protection, but I can't."
My dad's voice is irritable and loud. "Why? Why can you not be the one to protect her and love her? Do you not see it Alexander? No one is better fit for Payson, than you. You complete each other so completely. You are the yin and she is the yang."
I raise my eyebrow at his Chinese metaphor, but shake my head. "No dad you don't get it. If me and Payson were to ever get together than the only thing she would know is ridicule and hate from everyone, including friends. I don't want that for her. I'm too old for her dad. I'm just not the right person for her. Besides someone so pure and beautiful like Payson couldn't love me."
I put my head in my hands, but jerk up when I hear glass shatter. I sigh when I see my dad holding a broken lamp. "Dad, not that I'm a big fan of Steve Tanner, but he's going to flip when he sees his precious things broken."
He gives a dismissive wave as he drops the lamp. "Who cares. He has money to replace broken things. He deserves to lose everything for what he has done to you and Payson."
"Dad just forget Steve Tanner. Just watch out for the gymnasts here dad. Mentioning of, how are they all doing?"
I smile when I realize I've sidetracked him from me and Payson. "Austin is shaky. He needs to have consistency. His mind has been thousands of miles away these past couple weeks. He is having problems with the heart and kaylie. I would say you could help him, but you have the same issues with Payson."
I roll my eyes. "The others dad?"
"Lauren is strong, but is feeling alone; Emily is working on trusting people again; Kaylie is battling with issues at home. If you ask me they need their coach."
"They have there coach." I try to be quick and to the point in the hopes of him dropping the issue, but apparently he doesn't see it that way.
"No. YOU are their coach. YOU are the person that they trust. Without you they have no idea what to do."
"What do you want me to do dad? Coach them? I can't because I have no place to go. Even if I did they wouldn't want me to coach them."
My dad's eyes light up like a Christmas tree when he turns towards me. "I have an idea. Do you trust me Alexander?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "Of course I trust you dad. You're my father."
I smiles. "Good, good. You go see Payson. Talk with her. You two need to sort things out."
I nod reluctantly and walk towards the door, but my dad stops me. "Don't forget this Alexander."
I turn to see him holding out my gold medal. I reach over and take it and nod. "Dad, you may want to clean the lamp up or at least pitch the broken pieces. You don't need Steve Tanner after you to."
I see him nod reluctantly as I make my way out of the office. I walk past Austin to see that his ring routine is a little better. "Looks a lot better Tucker. You may want to concentrate on the moves you're making instead of thinking of Kaylie."
I smirk when he looks shocked. "I can tell when you're thinking of a woman you love. I get that look to. Just do us all a favor and don't kill yourself attempting a gold medal."
He nods as I walk out. I stiffen when he calls out to me. "Thanks coach."
I sigh and continue out to my truck. Once I get in I place the medal on the passenger seat. I look and realize I forgot to put the picture of me and Payson back up on my visor. I pick it up and I'm about ready to place it on the visor when I notice words scrawled on the back. When I read the writing my breath hitches.
Love is timeless, boundless, and beautiful. When you have it, don't let it go, no matter the circumstances. A picture is worth a thousand words Sasha. You can't deny what is so obvious. If it helps anything at all, I approve of her.
Jayden
I smile when I see Jayden's name at the bottom. Leave it up to my best friend to see through me, even when I'm so good at hiding it. I sigh as I make the familiar journey to the hospital in the hopes of attempting to talk to Payson.
When I'm outside her door I stop to gather courage and see if Mark and Kim are with her. I open the door to find that neither Mark or Kim, are there. I look around and I came face to face with Payson.
