Choice
I hurriedly wiped my tears as Carlisle returned with Esme. She must have been worried but she still gave me her warmest smile. My answering smile had too much sadness behind it.
"Edward," Carlisle spoke and his voice no longer sounded wary, "the ride is here."
From a corner, Alice gasped and flashed me a wide grin. Baffled by the sudden change of mood, I searched Edward's face. His expression was anything but gleeful.
"I don't think it's the right time," he whispered in a hoarse voice. Somehow, I wanted to comfort him, wished to make his pain mine. I would rather die than to see him look so defeated.
Alice jumped up and snapped at him, "Don't be stupid. You two are a newlywed couple after all."
Esme stared at Edward for a moment then at me. "If Edward and Bella don't want to go, well, it is their honeymoon…" she said.
My eyes widened in shock at the word honeymoon. It felt as if the wedding had been months ago.
"But…" Alice bit down on her lip. She turned to me with pleading eyes. "Bella…"
"I'll go," I said. I was surprised at how strong my voice was. I didn't want to ruin this for Edward because of my weakness. Not after everything he had done for me.
He shook his head, glowering at Alice. "You don't have to do this, Bella. I understand even if my sister doesn't."
I gently touched his cheek. "I really want to go, Edward. Really." He didn't seem convinced.
"Then it's settled!" Alice exclaimed and jauntily danced across the room. "If Bella wants to go, then you can't complain, Edward. And besides, you will both thank me afterwards." She winked at me before she left the room.
"Bella, don't make Alice force you to go," Esme told me kindly.
I shook my head. "I do want to go. It is a once in a lifetime experience." I turned to Edward. "Please?"
He sighed and I knew I was victorious.
"Okay, then we'll get the luggage ready. Alice already packed your stuff for you, Bella," Carlisle commented as he left the room. Esme smiled at me again in a way only a mother could and followed her husband.
"Bella, don't force yourself to do this. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to make me happy."
"I'm not sacrificing anything!" I cried, startled by his words. He was always the one sacrificing himself to get me whatever I wanted. How ridiculous he was. "Look, Edward Cullen. We are going to be happy together no matter what gets in our way." I mentally prepared myself for my next words. "We'll forget everything that happened after our wedding. We'll pretend as if… as if Jacob Black never existed."
My heart ached and my head spun but I could do that. I would do that if it were for Edward. I would keep any impossible promises for him.
He looked away and his eyes filled with deep despair. "I would never ask that of you, Bella. I want you to be happy and if thoughts of him can do that, then I want you to keep loving him."
His words pained me. How could be so inhumanly selfless? "He's not mine," I whispered slowly, more to myself. I desperately ignored how much that fact hurt.
Edward understood instantly and frowned. "Yes, but if that's the only reason…"
I quickly realized what he meant. "No! That's not why. That's not why at all! I love you, Edward, I love you more than anything, no, you are my everything, I can't live without you, you are more than the air I breathe—"
He pressed his lips onto mine to stop me from going on. "Bella, I'm fine. I'm okay. You love us both and I can accept that. I can accept anything about you, my love."
His words brought tears to my eyes again. Why was I crying so much today?
"What's wrong?" he asked, surprised. I grinned at him with wet eyes.
"Nothing's wrong because you're with me."
He smiled my favorite crooked smile. How could I ever pick anyone else except him? He was mine and mine forever to keep. How selfish was I to want more than that?
"I love you Bella Swan. No, Bella Cullen now." He chuckled as if I had never hurt him. My laughter joined his.
"I want you to know that I choose you, Edward. I choose you and you alone."
Our lips met again and this time, our kiss deepened into something new and more passionate. I loved him. That was plain fact. My choice had been Edward from the very beginning and it would always be Edward. There was no other way, no other life without him.
But even as I poured out my heart to my beautiful lover, I knew that the large hole in my chest would never be healed again.
This chapter was pretty quick and more of a fill in. Sorry about the lack of story ^^; I promise more action in the next one :) Next Chapter: Bella and Edward's honeymoon... how will it go with Bella still torn between her feelings? Of course, it won't go smoothly... and yeah, I am a Jacob fan but I'm feeling more and more sorry for Edward as I'm writing this so I don't know how the story will play out. And I'll be sure to include more info on the mysterious elemental girl in future chapters! (btw, yes, I love final fantasy, too!) Please review and comment :) They help a lot!
