Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders. The Beatles own the song. I own Sam.
Ch. 7 – In My Life
There
are places I'll remember
All my life though some have
changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some
remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and
friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In
my life I've loved them all
Soda's P.O.V.
Climbing up the steps, it barely occurred to me that I really didn't want be getting home. I felt like this day was perfect, and the ending the best of all. I felt like myself. I felt alive again. Would walking inside change that? I didn't think so, but I didn't want to risk it.
Overwhelmed by what I was feeling and thinking, I sat on the porch and for once looked at the stars Pony was always talking to me about. I was just thinking about life and how much and how quickly it changed when I heard the front door open and turned to see Darry walking towards me.
"Hey, little buddy."
"Hey."
For a long moment, it was silent. Then I felt Darry's arm slip around my shoulders, and I knew I wouldn't have to tell him. He knew I was changing. But the fact that I didn't have to made me want to tell him even more.
"Darry?"
"Yeah?"
"I feel like I'm me again."
"I can tell."
More silence. But not awkward silence, just comfortable silence, kind of like in the truck with Sam.
But eventually, he spoke. "I like her."
"Me too," came my reply.
"I want her to come around some more. I think the guys like her, and Pony babbled on about her after she left. She's good for you. Be good for her, okay, little buddy?"
"Okay, Darry."
It was silent for a moment or two longer, and then we both rose and went inside.
The minute I stepped in the door, I began regretting the choice. The guys, save Steve, since he knew her already, came flying at me with questions and smiles and snide remarks. Two-bit, in true Two-bit fashion, started in first.
"So, Soda, what's going on with the girl? It's not every day you bring some broad home to meet the family, so as it is. Don't get me wrong, she's nice. I might even consider breaking my blonde rule if she weren't yours, but I'm surprised."
"Shut up, Two-bit. She's not mine. She's a friend," I said, aware that my ears were probably turning red from my slight embarrassment. "Plus, that girl's too good to fall for someone like you," I added for my pride's sake.
"Ooooooh! All defensive. Sure, she's not yours." He laughed.
Pony, who had been smiling ear to ear behind Two-bit, then spoke. "She's really nice, Soda."
Oh, Pony. My dear sweet Pony.
"Thanks. I think so too."
Two-bit continued to babble for some time, but rather than listen, I went in the kitchen to make some chocolate cake since we were almost out. I felt a little like I was on auto-pilot, but not near to the extent I'd been feeling for the last few months. It was comforting more than numbing, just going about my business.
While the cake was baking, our house calmed down a considerable amount. Two-bit went out to rustle up some booze and some blondes. Steve went home to collect on the bribe money he was sure his dad would give him for yelling at him last night. Darry went off to bed, and Pony was in our room, probably doing homework. After the timer went off, I took the cake out and found myself exhausted. Glancing at the clock and seeing it was almost midnight, I decided to leave the icing til morning and headed off to bed.
Inside our room, Pony was indeed studying. I was never real good at school, so I never really offered to help, but I felt like I'd probably hurt Pone pretty good these last few weeks so I thought it would be good to talk.
"Pone?"
"Yeah," he said, not looking up from his book.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Homework. Why?" He looked up, seeming a bit confused.
"Just wonderin'," I paused, mostly because I didn't know what to say next. "Been a while since we talked, ya know?"
"Yeah, I know. Gimme a few minutes, and then we can talk. I just have to finish up a couple problems. I'm almost done. Ugh, I hate math."
I smiled. God, I had missed that kid, so responsible, even if he's a little absent-minded. "Okay," I said, and bounced off to wash the grease out of my hair before bed. Grease all over your pillow is a very gross thing.
I came back and stripped down to my boxers, climbed into bed. Pony was finished with his math and came back from the bathroom a few minutes later. He turned out the light and jumped into bed too, turning to look at me. We sat in silence, neither of us really knowing how to start, which upset me. It shouldn't be like that. You should never feel like that with your brothers.
"I feel like I don't know you anymore, Soda, and I hate it." Leave it to Pony to say what needs to be said.
"I know, kiddo, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I reached out and put my hand on Pony's shoulder, as if somehow that could show him what I was feeling.
"But you're back now? You're gonna be the old you again?" Ponyboy sounded a lot younger than he was. And worse, he sounded sad, disappointed in me.
"Yeah, I'm back. It was really hard, Pony, without Sandy. I really loved her," I stopped, thinking my voice might break if I went on. After I regained my composure, I decided to find out what he really thought of Sam. "So, you really like Sam?"
"Yeah, I do. I really like her. I hope she doesn't hurt you. But she doesn't seem like the type. She seems a lot like Cherry, like there's more going on in her than you can see. But she seems like a lot of fun and I think she likes us too. You really like her, huh?"
"I think so. When I first looked at her, I felt something, Pone. I felt. I feel like I haven't felt in forever, like I've just been on autopilot or something. And I don't know what it is about her, but she makes me feel alive."
"I know what you mean about the autopilot. I feel like that sometimes. I never though it'd be this hard." Pony's voice cracked, and I knew he was going to cry, so I reached out and pulled him to me in a tight hug. "I miss him so much, Soda. I miss Johnny. Hell, I even miss Dally."
"I know, baby, I know," I said and stroked the hair he couldn't wait to grow back. "I miss them too."
I just kept stroking his hair and holding him. A few minutes later, his breathing slowed into a steady rhythm and I knew he had fallen asleep. I let him go and scooted him over to his side. Turning back over, I threw an arm over his shoulders and closed my eyes, thinking of that half-kiss Sam had sent my way.
God, that girl can make me grin. I almost don't know what do to with her. But I can't wait until tomorrow to find out.
