Five Months Later...
Jess POV
I had just finished packing when Jimmy knocked on my door. I knew it was Jimmy, since only three people know where I live. Besides who else would knock on my door at 4 am? If I had not been so tired, I probably would have laughed when I opened the door. He looked like he had fallen out of bed and rolled the quarter mile from his place to mine. Airport security will have a field day with him, I'm glad we are leaving now. Jimmy still hasn't said anything and I am beginning to wonder if he can, instead he just grabs my bags and heads to the taxi waiting outside. I follow him out the door and head to the office to drop the key in the mail slot. I get back to him in time to help him lift my suitcase full of books into the trunk, next to his. We settle into the backseat and the driver heads out to LAX. The cab is silent except for the soft music coming from the radio. I watch the scenery pass and say my goodbyes to California. By the time we hit the freeway Jimmy has fallen asleep and I've got nothing but my thoughts to keep me occupied. I am really going to miss it here, some things more than others.
Every Saturday, since the first dinner, we had gotten together. It started out awkward but it became something I would look forward to. Saturday mornings I would go to work all day and when I left, I would head down the boardwalk to Jimmy and Sasha's place. Sometimes carrying a book for Lily, if anything I thought she would be interested in had come in. On those occasions, I would stop and get flowers for Sasha, usually bright colored tropical bouquets, for her to put on the table. They had become my family; we would eat, laugh and talk together. I cannot remember a time in my life when I had ever sat down with Liz or Luke and just had a good time. I had never felt comfortable enough to be myself, not even around my mother. It wasn't like she had ever cooked anyway.
I had gotten my GED two months ago and Sasha decided that a celebration was in order. She wanted to take us all out to some fancy restaurant, both Jimmy and I protested. Jimmy because he didn't want to have to go anywhere that involved wearing a tie, me because I didn't want to make a fuss about it. I also don't own a tie and I do not think I ever will. Sasha insisted that we at least go out for dinner, instead of sitting in the house. We ended up celebrating at a pizza place on the boardwalk; I can never remember having so much fun.
Jimmy and I have gotten closer since that first dinner. I never thought I would see him again after spilling all the details of my time in Stars Hollow. So when the following Saturday came and so did Jimmy with another invitation to dinner I was shocked to say the least. We became friends and then we became father and son. Sometimes he would come by my place and we would watch a Lakers game and bullshit. I hated basketball but I never really told Jimmy that, I craved the companionship that came along with him. We never talked about anything important, but it was something that I had always wanted. I had come to the conclusion that I was happy to have my father in my life, and I think Jimmy realized that he liked having his son around. The night him and Sasha had asked me if I had considered staying in California, Jimmy seemed to deflate at my answer. I could not stay, I wanted to but I really couldn't. This place is great, it's just not home, but neither is where I am going.
The cab pulled up to the airport and I had to elbow Jimmy to wake him up. We got our bags from the trunk and headed to get checked in. Security these days is a bitch, but we made it through with enough time to grab coffee. We got settled on the plane and Jimmy went back to sleep immediately after buckling his seatbelt. I couldn't sleep, I have never been on an airplane before and I just have too many things on my mind.
It has been almost seven months since I left Stars Hollow and twice as long since I left New York. Now I'm going back, by tonight I will be back in a place that holds nothing for me anymore. The plane is set to land at LaGuardia sometime in the afternoon. From there we have to find a place to stay. I was going to stay with Liz, but I really don't want to put Jimmy through that, and I really don't want her to know I am there yet. She would be probably be on the phone to Luke in a heartbeat, playing up the motherly concern. It would not surprise me if she had not even known I had left Connecticut. The only way she would know is if Luke called her, but I really doubt he did.
I'm startled out of my thoughts when Jimmy shifts in his seat and hits me in the arm. I still cannot believe that he is with me. I remember he had been upset that I was leaving, and that upset had been with him for the last month or so. Then one night he came over and he looked so happy. He told me he had been thinking about expanding his hot dog place. He had made an offer and they had accepted it. Dante's Inferno would now have a location in New York, nothing big he had said. To me it was big it would mean I wasn't totally cut of from the only people who seemed to care about me. I had never seen him so happy and that in itself made me happy.
So now, here we are flying over the Midwest, headed to a place I do not want to be. At least I'll have good company for a while. I take out my book and start reading. I didn't get through the first paragraph before the early hours of the day caught up to me. I fell asleep with my book resting on my chest. My dreams filled with long silky hair and bright blue eyes and her voice telling me over and over. "Come home Jess, we need you."
Lorelai POV
It has been five months since the incident in Luke's apartment; so many things have changed since then. The day after Rory had given in to her grief, the Stars Hollow rumor mill had been out in full force. Luke and I had spent the day fielding questions from the locals. We played it off as equal upsets from her father and Jess. Rory had still been upstairs in Jess' bed. She had refused to leave it. She didn't leave the apartment for over two months, Luke started staying at our house and I stayed in his with Rory. I cannot remember ever seeing her get out of the bed, I knew she was but I never actually witnessed it. Luke would bring up food for her and when he came back, the plates would sit there untouched. I had to force her to eat, telling her that if she didn't the baby would not make it. I still think that was the only reason she had eating again. I tried to take her home that first night and she fought me, watching her broke my heart into pieces. I remember wondering where my daughter had gone, leaving this broken creature behind. I began to think I would never get my Rory back and in some ways, I was right.
Rory made her first appearance ten weeks after that night. I got a phone call at the Dragonfly; Michel had come running into the kitchen with the phone. I had been talking to Sookie we were both crying over the situation. When Michel said Luke was on the phone for me, I immediately thought the worst. When he told me that Rory had come downstairs I dropped the phone, I was gone before it even hit the floor. All I could think was why. Why did she come out now? As much as I wanted her to leave that apartment, I needed to know why she had finally done it. She hadn't even left for her doctor appointments; my parents had gotten a good doctor who did not mind coming to the small town. My father had taken care of the meeting at Yale and told me that whenever Rory was ready to go they would take her. At least that could still be fixed, now all we had to do was fix Rory. My parents had also sent a psychologist, but that only lasted a few weeks. I was told that she wouldn't say a word, but I knew that, she had not said one thing to me either. The shrink told me that until she was willing to talk there was nothing she could do.
When I had reached the diner, she was sitting at the counter. Her hair was combed and her clothes looked clean, that alone made me happy. I had had to force her to take a shower and let me wash her clothes. I could see she was still wearing his shirt and sweatpants. I had gone out and bought her a bunch of baggy shirts and sweatpants, but she had only worn the pants and the t-shirt. Her belly was hard to hide and watching hr sit there, I could tell she did not even care. The whole town would know about the baby within the hour, but I didn't care. It looked like I was finally going to get my daughter back.
I sat next to her and made small talk, she didn't say anything. She sat there eating her food, which consisted of soup and salad. Luke had been taking advantage of the fact that Rory would eat anything you put in front of her. He had been feeding her nothing but healthy stuff and she never said a word. When she was done, she turned in her seat and looked at me. That was the first time she had really looked at me, all this time I felt like she had been looking right through me. We sat there just looking at each other, I was afraid I would make a wrong move and she would be gone again. She seemed to be thinking about something, so I waited. When she did speak, it was so low and strained from lack of use I barely heard her.
"I want to get a job," she said. "I want a job here."
"Here?" I asked. I'm in shock; I have no idea what to tell her. "Why here?"
"It's close to home," is all she said. I know in that moment that she still does not plan to come home with me. She believes that this is her home now. I caught a movement from the corner of my eye. It was Luke, he looked so sad, but since this had started that seemed to be the reigning emotion in our lives. This has brought us closer together, I found him very easy to love, and I found out that I did. I love Luke Danes and when all this is over and Rory is better, I planned to tell him that.
"It's fine with me," he said to me. "If it's okay with you, I could really use the help." He smiled brightly something I had not seen since Rory's graduation day. When I looked back at my daughter, I knew why he was smiling, because Rory had been wearing the same bright smile.
"If that's what you want, honey," I told her, she nodded her head. "Then it's fine with me."
A minute after Rory had gone up the stairs the diner started to fill up. The town gossips were in full swing, but at least they had waited for Rory to leave. The whole town had found out in the half hour that she had been downstairs. Nobody said anything to me, but I think it only had to do with the fact that Luke would growl at anybody who even got close to me. The only person that ignored Luke's animalistic warning had been Mrs. Kim. She flew into the diner and came right up to me.
"Rory is not allowed to see Lane anymore. You are a disgrace as a mother for letting your daughter get pregnant," with that said, she was out the door as fast as she came in it. I couldn't help but think she was right, after all both Chris and my parents blamed me. Maybe they were right.
Rory started work the next day; she was dressed in her sweats and one of the new shirts I had bought for her. When I came in for coffee at lunchtime, she was refilling coffee for the few customers around the diner. She smiled at me, but did not say anything. I watched her for a while and noticed that she didn't speak to anyone. She would stand there, take orders and refill coffee without saying a word. As time went on, she slowly started to get better.
Now Rory is almost seven months pregnant, and if the town had not found out before, they would definitely know now. She had popped out in the last month or so. She was also much better now, not the same as before Jess had left and her father had called her a slut, but she was talking again. She had even started laughing and sometimes she would be smiling for no reason at all. I found out that she would smile like that when the baby moved. She started going to the doctor's office and had gotten a sonogram done, but the only thing she would tell me when we left is that the baby was healthy and everything looked fine. I know she knows what she is having; she's just not ready to share yet.
The most shocking thing since she had come out of the cocoon that she had made for herself, were my parents. I was worried that when they found out, they would insist that Friday night dinners be reinstated, but that didn't happen. Instead, they started coming to Stars Hollow, they would all eat in the diner. To this day, I still cannot get over seeing Emily and Richard Gilmore eating in a diner. When Rory starting acting more like herself, we made lots of jokes about it together.
I didn't think that too much would surprise me these days, but Rory seemed to have the knack for doing it. Yesterday she had come to see me on her break and told me clearly that I needed a man. Someone to make me happy and to keep me warm on those cold New England nights. She told me she had gotten me a date and to be ready at seven. I did not want to tell her no, but I also was not interested in dating now. These days I have only one man on my mind. I agreed and she had given me a look like, I had better not refuse before she turned on her heel and headed back to work. I went home that night and got ready; I was just putting my earrings on when the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, I thought I was seeing things. I grabbed my keys and my purse and headed out the door.
Oh yeah, Rory could still shock the hell out of me. I took Luke's arm as we headed to his truck. When I got in the front seat, I could not help but smile, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I want to thank Rory and throttle her for not telling me, but when Luke smiled at me from the driver's seat I forgot everything.
Rory POV
It was just Cesar and I in the diner; I am sitting at a table drinking a glass of milk when Luke's truck drives by. I wave to Mom and him, and my face feels like it will crack from the smile on it. It had taken me hours of pouting to get Luke to agree to take Mom out. The dealmaker had been the tears I called upon knowing that I should only use them as a last resort. When he had agreed I took my break and walked, okay I waddled, to the Dragonfly. I knew Mom would not deny me, but I also knew she would try harder if she knew Luke was taking her out. Therefore, I didn't tell her anything except to be ready at seven. I wish I had been there when she opened the door but part of the agreement with Luke was that I had to help Cesar close the diner.
When I could not see the truck anymore, I finished my milk, and made a trip to the bathroom. I washed my hands at the sink, avoiding the reflection in the mirror. I cannot look at my self anymore; I don't recognize the person I've become. Everything had changed drastically in the last five months. I still feel broken but I am slowly healing myself. I have not been home since I day I told my father about the baby. I had taken over Luke's apartment and as I started to come back to myself, I felt bad, but he didn't seem to care. He ended up renting an apartment not far from here and let me keep the one over the diner. Luke had finally convinced Lorelai that I was going to be okay and she went back to staying at home. That had relieved me and I think that's why Luke had done it. I love my mother but she had kept watching me and I had had enough. I did not need to be watched anymore, I was not going to do something stupid. Besides she was driving Luke and me crazy, he had gone through more coffee that first month than he had in all the years he had been open. The last week of the month, he had to buy some from Doose's because he had run out. When he found out she had been making pots of coffee in the middle of the night, he had told her he would cut her off forever if she did not leave his coffee alone.
Kirk was sitting at the counter when I came out of the bathroom. I took his order and gave him his food when it came up, then I sat back down and waited for him to finish. My back and my feet are killing me and with any luck, Kirk will be the last customer of the night. At my last doctor's appointment, my doctor had informed me that I would have to stop working full time soon. I told Luke I would still help if he really needed it, but other than that, I would be on maternity leave. I have decided to work at the Dragonfly answering phones and checking people in and out for the last month or so of my pregnancy. That way I won't be on my feet, I can sit down there while I work, and I will be able to keep busy. The busier I am the less I think about Jess.
I do not think about my breakdown, because truth be told I do not remember it. The day I came downstairs, it had been as if I had woken from a nightmare that I could not recall. These days my only thoughts are of my baby, I found out it's a girl, but I decided not to tell anyone. They would find out after she is born, until then I like having a secret that will not hurt any one. I even have a name picked out for her, Lorelai Jessica Gilmore-Mariano. I had decided a long time ago that if I ever had a daughter I would name her Lorelai. We'll call her Jessie; I can picture her in my mind. I know she is going to look just like Jess and that makes me happy and sad all at the same time.
The bell rings from over the door and it snaps me away from my thoughts. I look over at the counter and Kirk is still there, when I look at the door I want to scream. Instead, all I can do is stare.
"Hey Ror," Christopher says to me. "How are you?"
"Why are you here?" I say to him. I cannot believe he came here, how he even knew I was here.
He must have known my next question because he answered it before I could speak again. "Babette told me you work here. I stopped by the house and you weren't there." His eyes stray to my belly and then shoot up to my face.
"I don't live there anymore," I tell him. "I live here, well not here. I live in the apartment upstairs; I have since the day I told you about the baby."
"Rory, are you okay?" Cesar asks when he sees who I am talking to. He has been working here for so many years now and I know he has seen my father before.
"I'm good, Cesar thanks," I smile brightly at him and goes back into the kitchen. I turn back to Chris. "You were saying?"
"I'm so sorry; I didn't mean any of those things I said. I was so angry but not at you or your mom. I was mad at the situation, I wanted you to have a better life than your mom and I have," he says and he looks so full of regret.
"I don't think I can forgive you right now," I tell him. "I will accept your apology though."
He smiles at me and we talk for a while before he leaves, with the promise to come back to apologize to Mom tomorrow. He asked where she was and I felt the need to tell him that it really isn't any of his business. He knows better than to argue with me, because I had told him the same thing when he asked about the baby's father. When he is gone, I throw Kirk out and help Cesar close up. I lock the door after Cesar and head upstairs. I grab my pajamas and head for the bathroom to take a shower. I used to sleep in Jess' t-shirt, but its gotten way too tight now. It now resides under the pillow on our bed. I come out of the bathroom and crawl into bed, I'm exhausted and that is how I like it. If I keep busy, I keep my sanity. I fall into a deep sleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. My last conscience thought is to Jess.
"Come home Jess, we need you."
