Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; all the respective characters belong to SMeyer.


"How do you expect to sell these lines if you won't even look at her?" Jess groans, smacking her hands against her thighs in frustration. I look at the floor, the lighting rig, anyplace but where Edward is standing four feet away, my cheeks burning.

It's been a week since our initial rehearsal, and she just pointed out the one very obvious problem with the play. We don't make eye contact. We spent Thursday and Friday of last week reading through the lines again, getting comfortable with them.

By Monday Jess wanted it all memorized. Edward, of course, had no problem with that, but I had a harder time. It is next to impossible to concentrate on what I am supposed to be saying next when such beautiful things are coming out of his mouth. In that voice.

"Please, guys, this has to be amazing. Emote!" She barks. I give her a look that says 'take it down a notch', but I don't think it even breaks through the frenzied the show must go on head-space that she's in. "Again please, and for god sake Edward, loook at the girl."

He picks up where she cut him off. "Please Emm-,"

"Stop. Stop." Stomping up onto the stage, Jess strides over to him clamping her hands down on his shoulders. She has to reach up to do so, and if I weren't terrified of what she is about to do I'd laugh.

"Edward," she breaths in slowly, calming her nerves. He looks stunned, eyes wide. "Don't look at her, look at me." He obeys, though he is already looking at her - anywhere but at me.

"I want you to get out of your head for a minute. Just a second. Forget everything, forget that this is a play, that you are here in this high school and just think. This-" She points to me. "…is not Bella. This is Emma. And you are not Edward you are Sam."

Releasing his shoulders, she walks over to me and grabs my arm, pulling my forward so that Edward and I are toe to toe. "Look at her face. You have loved this face for ten years. Can you imagine that? Loving something for years and feeling like it's part of you?"

His face softens, eyes unfocusing then refocusing. It's like she's reprogramming him because suddenly he's looking so deep into my eyes I lean forward unconsciously. "Now that's being threatened," she says gravely. He frowns, the space between his eyebrows wrinkling. It's adorable so I can't help smiling. "This is your one chance to fight for it. I want you to feel that and use it, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he replies, this calm determination settling over him.

He steps back taking a deep breath as if to re-set. When he looks up those green eyes bore into mine again, a fierce intensity there. "Please Emma," he begins, his voice wavering on the name.

"I, I'm just so tired Sam," I answer my voice soft and detached. At this point in the play the soul is pulling away, trying to leave the dream. It's the pinnacle - make it or break it time.

"Bella, when you say that turn away slightly, it works with the next line and I think will really express the disconnection," Jess throws in. "Try that, start with Edward again."

He nods, re-setting once more. "Please Emma."

"I, I'm just so tired Sam," I turn slightly.

"Don't," he starts, taking a step in my direction. Reaching out he pauses with a conflicted, pained expression before dropping his hand. A thrill runs through me at how perfect it is because we hadn't talked about it and he's using the fact that Sam can't touch Emma's soul. "Don't turn away from me."

"We had our time Sam…"

"But it wasn't enough!" He bellows, I flinch but it works so we keep going.

"It has to be," turning back, I force eye contact. My stomach flips with a nervous mixture of butterflies and yearning. "You have to let me go." He takes a step closer and my breathing catches as he does because his lashes are brimmed with tears. His face heartbreaking.

"If that's what you want then I will. You know I could never deny you anything," his voice wanes again. "But I need to know why. Why it wasn't enough - what I did wrong."

He sounds so convincing and full of conviction that I'm lost in the moment. I step forward, lift my fingers slightly but drop them quickly. "You did nothing. You were perfect."

"Then what Emma? Why weren't we enough to fight for?"

"Life doesn't work this way," I shout. "You can't just snap your fingers and make me all better!"

The tension between us is so thick the atmosphere suffocates my skin. It's a different kind of bubble we find ourselves in now, but it is electrifying and I fell energized by it. So when the auditorium doors open loudly, bursting it, I groan. Suddenly I understand the girl last week.

"Hey Jess, I think we're up." It's Gilbert. He's directing his own one act with a much larger cast. "Sorry, don't want to rush you but we got Cindy coming in behind us so…"

Jess sighs, though I detect a bit of whimsy in there. "No problem Gil, we're just wrapping up."

"Thanks!" He smiles, opening both sets of doors so his group can file in.

Jess climbs the stage to speak with us for a minute. I grin at her, a goofy school girl smile. "Gil?" I chime, unable to hold back a giggle.

She levels me a death stare, but the corner of her lip curls just a bit. Ha!

"You guys that was amazeballs. Seriously. I don't even have one thing to tell you to change. Keep it up and we're gonna dominate this thing." She pokes Edward in the ribs. I'm insanely jealous when he grabs her finger and chuckles. Not just for the physical contact but the boyish grin he's supplying her makes me melt into a puddle of goo. Jess appears totally immune.

I roll my eyes hard. "You know this isn't a competition, right?"

She smirks. "Yeah it's not a competition Bella, but you don't think someone's keeping score? Please, we got this in the bag." She is entirely giddy, spinning quickly to skip down the stage steps.

Edward and I are left standing awkwardly. He's not making his usual quick exit, and my feet are strongly rooted to their spot. "You, ah… you did amazing," I offer, looking at the collar of his shirt.

He lets out a soft, embarrassed laugh. "No, you're amazing."

You're not you were … did he mean to say it that way? I can't stand it, my eyes meet his and the feeling of coming home saturates through me. I sigh, barely a breath. "Edward I wanted to, um…" Fingers gripping the back of my neck, I scrape my toe lightly across the wooden stage. I have no clue what I'm trying to say. I want to tell him the rumor isn't true. Ask him why he avoided me, even if it was true. "I wanted to talk to you I guess."

His brows flinch into a quick frown before he smoothes them out. "Oh?"

"Yes, but …" The room has gotten very loud with all the people preparing to rehearse. It's impossible to think straight. "Can we get outta here? Go somewhere we can talk?"

"I can walk you to your car?" He offers.

"Okay."

We walk quietly, me dreading the can of worms I've opened, him probably just dreading talking to me in general. Once we reach my car I can't decide how to begin.

"I wanted to talk actually, so I'm glad you asked," he interjects, saving me. I look up questioningly. "I wanted to apologize."

My heart soars. So it wasn't my imagination, all the avoidance and gloomy looks. "Apologize?" I play it cool.

"Yeah, I-"

"Bella, hey I've been looking for you!"

What. No, no, it couldn't be. The person standing behind me, interrupting Edward who was about to profess his undying love for me - or whatever - could not be who it sounds like. By the look on Edward's face it must be. I turn my head and there he stands.

"Jasper?" I say in question, because I want to know what the hell he is doing.

"You're hard to track down." He quirks that cocky grin. "Hey, uh… Edward is it?"

Edward nods, his features becoming icy.

"Thanks for taking care of my girl…" His arm slides across my shoulders, I freeze in utter shock. Edward doesn't notice my face, he's too busy staring Jasper down. "You mind if I steel her away?"

"Go right ahead," Edward says coldly, his glance flickering to me, that despondent expression back in his eyes. He walks away and I am still utterly shocked.

"What the fuck was that Jasper?" I growl.

He shrugs dropping his arm. "That creep was all over you, I was saving you."

"Saving me! Saving me!" I shout, blown away by this boy's logic. My teeth grind together, I take a step towards him. "I don't know if maybe you've been sacked one too many times, but you have a major issue with your deductive reasoning."

"With my what?"

"Just stay the hell away from me."

His expression drops, he leans in further until our noses almost touch. "You better be careful Bella. What will people think if they find out you just sleep around with no strings attached? Most people would call that a slut," he hisses.

My fist balls at my side, eyes narrow.

He smirks. "What would Chief Swan think about his daughter, the slut? I've been nice enough to let people assume there's something going on between you and I, so you didn't have to worry about that. But I know a couple guys on the football team who said you were pretty good in the sack. I don't know, maybe we'll compare notes and … gee… who knows? Shit like that always seems to just get around somehow."

For the second time in my life I'm being threatened by Jasper Hale. I have never wanted to murder someone so badly. The rage inside of me is so fierce I can't move for fear of striking out.

"Just watch hanging out with guys like Cullen. I saw him eyeing you during that stupid ass rehearsal. I don't care for it much."

With that he walks away. He was there for my rehearsal? He's been watching me. Tears sting my eyes. When Edward used to watch me I never once worried about it, it seemed normal, but Jasper's side-ways confession is completely creepy.

It takes a long moment before I release the breath I'd been holding. My hand braces against the door of my car, my fingers shake chattering against the cold metal. This has gone well beyond a simple lie. My stomach is balled in knots. I work the car door open, sliding into the driver seat as tears fall freely.

Jasper Hale is ruining my life. And it no longer seems as if it's for self-preservation reasons. What is his problem? Why me? My brain if a flurry of unanswerable questions. I think about the start of everything again. How in reality he wronged me - he physically pushed past my boundaries and sexually assaulted me.

Then he lied, made a fool out of me. He says he's been nice by letting people think there's something more? The thought of anything romantic with that boy makes me sick. He's done me no favors there. And what did he say that day on the field? I'd gain marginal popularity? By that he meant I'd gain attention from the male population of Forks High and daily gropes from Todd, who finds some reason to "bump" into me or "brush" past me every day, to the point where I almost don't notice anymore.

Then there's the female attention which breaks down into two categories. Keeping an eye on me, and showing me off. I still haven't decided where Rosalie falls in that, but every time I look at her the expression 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' comes to mind. All these wonderful fucking door prizes Jasper! I should be at his feet kissing the ground that he walks on for how he's changed my life! Or murder, there's always murder. I think morosely.

I can't know why Jasper is doing this to me, but of one thing I'm absolutely certain - I need a plan. On the drive home I debate calling Jess and filling her in, but think better of it when I remember how much she already hates him. Only by the time I actually reach my house I'm so pissed off I can't see straight. So I call, telling myself I'll give her the cliff notes, not all the dirty details.

"I have a plan," she spits. "Castration. I'll hold him down and you Lorena Bobbitt him."

"Jess, we can't do that - I'm not going to jail over him."

"There's not a jury in the world that would convict you once they've heard what he's done," she states matter-of-factly.

"No, we still can't do that. But feel free to let your imagination run ramped, it'll make me feel better."

"Did you ask him what the fuck his problem is? Did you say the words Why. Are. You. In. My. Life. You. Creaton?"

"I didn't so much speak as fume and stand there generally aghast by the whole thing."

"I love you because you use words like aghast," she says with a smile in her voice.

"I think I should talk to him though. I mean, he seemed totally normal that night, like a real human being and everything. He's bound to have compassion hidden somewhere. Maybe if I reason with him…"

"Well, it was Halloween, maybe when you kissed aliens invaded his body and this is the beginning of their plan for world domination."

"Somehow I doubt I'm the key to world domination, Jess."

"Don't under estimate yourself Isabella."

My alarm clock reads 8:45 in bold, red numbers. We've been talking for over an hour about this. I'm drained from it. I close my eyes, deciding if I'm going to talk to him I should do it sooner rather than later.

"Hey Jess, I'm gonna go, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, okay, night Bella."

I jump up from my bed as I disconnect the call. Car keys in hand, I pause at the living room long enough to tell my dad I have to run to the store for feminine products.

"Go, go," he squints making a face that says he doesn't want to hear that, before turning back to the football game on TV.

The drive to Jasper's house is short. I get there in under five minutes. Ringing the bell I still feel good about being here. Even when his mom answers the door all smiles and I ask kindly to speak with him I'm steady in my conviction. Surprisingly, she takes me up to his room, something I wouldn't expect from a mother of teenagers, especially since this is the first time we're meeting. Then again the Hales are a different species altogether, I'm learning not to even try and attempt making sense of them.

"Bella?" He glances up from a book (shockingly, I expected video games,) when I step through the bedroom door. His mother shuts it behind me. Again, odd. He looks genuinely caught-off guard and slightly embarrassed. Like on Halloween night, when his defenses are down he looks extremely young and vulnerable. I almost feel bad for him and his black soul.

"We need to talk," I say firmly but as the words leave my mouth, my convictions melt away with them. What am I doing here? And now I'm closed in the room with him… I'm starting to feel like a trapped rat, just wanting out. I edge toward the door subconsciously.

"Okay, have a seat," he smiles. It's anything but his normal cocky grin, and he pats the space next to him on his bed. I'm so confused by him at this point.

"I'm okay, thanks. I just wanted to say that I don't appreciate your little display in the parking lot this afternoon."

His eyebrows go up. "You don't." He challenges, his demeanor still somehow oddly soft. He's looking at me as if he actually cares what I'm saying. "No," he sighs. "I suppose you don't, that was rather rude of me."

What.

His eyes drop to his hands, he's considering for a moment … what I'm not sure. "Bella, I am sorry about all this, I wish you could understand…" He trails. When he looks at me again his caramel eyes look sad, lost. He rises, steps toward me, his hand moving as if to touch my face. I flinch away reflexively so he drops it away. "I really am."

"I don't understand you Jasper, you're acting like you don't have any control over this-"

"I trying to fix it," he says quickly, raising his voice. "It's all fucked up and I'm doing my best to control it, don't you get it?"

"No," I say softly, taking a step back.

"I really liked you." He tries.

Shaking my head, I frown. "Jasper, I don't know what you're saying. You're not making any sense. Can't you just stop this? Just leave me alone."

The softness in his eyes shifts in an instant, like watching lava cool to molten rock, they're suddenly hard. "No, I can't do that. How do I know you won't go blabbing your mouth?"

All the anger from earlier in the day rushes back, boiling up with all the rage against all he's done to me. "That would just be the chance you have to take. You did this to yourself."

His expression falters for a fraction of a second before he shakes his head no.

"You know what?" I grind out, nails digging into my palms. I've probably drawn blood, but I could care less. "It doesn't even matter anymore." Out of nowhere a calming resolve washes over me as I realize my own words. I smile at him. "I don't care what you say about me, spread all the rumors you want Jasper. Just know in the end that you're the loser. That I feel sorry for you. What hell it must be to live inside your head." I straighten my spine feeling ten feet tall.

His face is fiery with anger but I continue. "Do what you have to, and in your heart know that you can't touch me. You can't really hurt me Jasper, because in the end I don't give a fuck, I just don't care."

"This is about that asshole isn't it?" He shoots accusingly.

I gawk at him. "What does that even matter?"

His jaw sets, I can see the wheels turning in his head. "You may not care about what people think of you Bella, but do you care about him?"

My face gives me away before I can answer. It's his turn to smile. "I still don't know why this has anything to do with him. What are you going to spread rumors about Edward now?"

"No, Bella," he laughs. "What do you take me for? Though it would be a shame if Edward got hurt …"

I know immediately he doesn't mean Edward's feelings. I roll my eyes despite the rapid panic rising inside me. Jasper is unstable at best, I have no clue what threats he'll make good on. "If you're talking about getting your football buddies to beat him up, I'm not really worried about that," I bluff.

His grin turns absolutely evil reminding me instantly of the Grinch. He turns away, gliding to his bed smoothly and dropping down. "Bella, do you know what kind of attorney my father is?"

I hesitate, because I thought I knew but suddenly I'm not so sure. When I don't answer he takes it as a no.

"He's a defense attorney Bella. And he deals with some really nasty, dangerous people. People who owe him … in more ways than just monetarily."

My face drains, my hands begin to shake. I'm suddenly terrified of Jasper. Not just because of his words, but because of his face. He looks positively psychotic right now. I don't doubt for a minute that he's one hundred percent serious.

Standing again, he takes four wide steps to cross the room and stops with our bodies almost touching. I'm pressed against his bedroom door, hand bent behind my back grasping tightly to the door handle. I pray the door opens out because I wasn't paying attention when I got here.

His eyes appraise my face slowly, a flicker of the gentle Jasper showing. "I think you get it now," he says softly. His hand lifts this time running tenderly through a loose tendril against my temple.

"Why are you doing this Jasper?" I whimper.

His arm slinks around my back, his fingers rough through my cotton shirt. Pressing his lips to my check he places a firm kiss there, his hand cupping around mine before he turns the knob. The door swings open causing me to falter backward a step.

"Have a nice evening Bella," he coos.

I stare for a moment but can feel tears welling so I retreat before he has the satisfaction of seeing me cry. That is one thing he will not get.

When I get home, my bed is a sanctuary. I smash my face into a pillow and cry, mourning the life that is no longer mine. It's Jasper's until I leave this town. And I cry for Edward who I'll never have the chance to really know. I can't know him. Jasper made it perfectly clear that if I don't play along he would hurt Edward. I swallow thickly against a new bout of tears. Oh God, did he mean kill? Surely not. Only I'm not really all that sure.

I don't understand why he would do this. If he were jealous - if we had been dating for a long time I might understand in some capacity. But Jasper holds no claim to me. Why me? I think over and over, letting everything go with heavy sobs.

Some time later I get up, my hair soaked from tears and stuck to my cheek so I decide to take a shower. When I grab my robe from its spot in the corner of my room I uncover something that gives me the slightest bit of hope, and also an idea. Jasper's letterman jacket.


A/N: I struggled to write this chapter because I kept wanting to put in an anvil falling on Jasper's head - so hate is understandable. Vent to meh pliss, I need to rage too! xx