Chapter Seven. I honestly thought I'd never get this far, and have so much planned out either. I've almost figured out the main points of the rest of this fanfiction; I really hope I can find the motivation to see this to it's end. (Or maybe even get a sequel?)

Thanks to the three main reviewers (MyHamstersHateMe, vonobsession and foriamnottheone) that always seem to be eagerly awaiting my updates; this is for you! Your feedback means so much to me.

Also, MyHamstersHateMe; If you liked the morbidity, there is plenty more to come. (Well maybe not YET; come on, I needed to give Roxas a break.)

I apologize for the awfully long author notes but on a positive note this fanfiction is almost at 1k views! I squealed a little inside when I saw.


"She... physically, and mentally, abused Roxas."

Axel stayed silent for a few seconds, partly to take it all in, and mostly because he had no idea what to say. What was somebody supposed to say to that sort of news? Obviously he'd figured that something had gone on in the background, that information was being withheld from him. Being told, confirmed, really made the extent of everything set in though. There was a clear reason for Roxas' reluctance to open up and now he knew what it was. Part of him wished he didn't.

'I always knew from the start it was either me or her, somehow.'

"I think..." He said uneasily, looking away from Sora, instead to the ceiling. To be frank having the brunt of his affection's brother staring at him, gauging his reaction, made him feel nervous. Incredibly nervous. His head was still swimming from all the information he'd had to process, only for more to be piled on top. "I need to go talk to Roxas."

Sora snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that. It would be easier getting information from a wall." When he looked back to the redhead however, Sora's gaze softened and he bit his lip. Maybe Roxas would open up to Axel. Maybe Axel would be his saving grace. Maybe... he was wishing for too much.

Axel began up the stairs, his shoes creaking on the old floorboards. He heard Sora shuffling around behind him but didn't turn to look; it was almost too worrying that the house was so silent. The air felt murky, thick, and had a general feel of unease to it. He gulped when he arrived at the top of the stairs, cautiously looking around. There was every chance that some homeless person could've found its way inside the house and was ready to gut him.

He shook his head, chuckling to himself. It was unlike him to be so paranoid.

He decided to start in the room closest to him, pushing against the door slightly and wincing at the loud creak it made. A quick scan of the room made it clear that the blonde wasn't here, not in the room he was looking in anyway; a yellowed bra discarded on the floor also proved that further and with a cringe he walked out, turning to the door next to the one he'd just searched in. It was already open, the room filled with a meager amount of moonlight which was barely lighting up the room. He walked inside, his foot stepping on something as he did so. He bent down to see what it was and was pleasantly surprised when his fingers latched onto a photograph- an old one at that, yellowed corners decorating the probably once pristine picture.

Axel scanned over the picture and a slight grin he recognized the two that were the brunt of the picture's focus. Roxas had a pile of noodles piled on top of his head, some of which Sora had began to eat, strands hanging from his mouth. They seemed to be two, maybe three years old. Nothing amiss was in the photo, either. They looked like a pair of happy kids. They looked like normal kids.

Looking away from the photograph he noticed a bunch of other photos were scattered around on the floor; mostly ones of Sora. A few seemed to be like the one he was holding, yet the others concerned him. One that was right next to his foot had the twins, yet older, and the blonde looked tired and bruised, cuts scattered across his face as he played with a ball. He was smiling, yet Axel could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at something past the camera. The person who did that to him. The image made him shudder. What sort of sick mother would do that to her child?

He stood up and looked around the room, almost missing the source of what he was looking for huddled in the dusty corner. His body was curled up into a ball, his face hidden and only showing a bundle of blonde spikes at the top, his hoodie almost covering those too.

"Roxas?" Axel scratched the back of his head, looking away. "Hey, I'm sorry for what I said... I tend to have no filter up here. Which you may have guessed from earlier." He tapped on his head, a slight chuckle emerging from his mouth. When Roxas didn't respond, however, his smile died. Not even a slight movement came from the boy. "Roxas?"

Axel moved towards him and only when he was close did he notice the deep crimson blood staining the boy, his arm and the floor.

"Sora!"


Roxas didn't realize he'd passed out until he felt warm arms pick him up from the cold, hard floor in a mismatched bridal style way. He didn't have to open his eyes to guess who it was; neither Sora or Riku had a strong build and was as tall as Axel was. They also weren't as warm. Or smelt like him. Was it strange that he recognized Axel's smell? It was comforting, like a mix of cigarette smoke and honey. It seemed like a weird mix to him but it worked. He felt like an asshole. Axel had been nothing but nice to him- well, maybe apart from with Namine. Why was he such a dick? His head hurt. Even more when he thought. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

"What happened? Roxas?!"

He didn't want to open his eyes. He felt too weak, and probably couldn't even if he wanted to. Not that he did; he didn't want to see their faces. He'd fucked up. Nobody had ever seen him in the aftermath before. All he could feel was a mixture of shame and guilt. He felt naked, having his fresh cuts on show. Blood everywhere- both of them had seen him in his most vulnerable, fucked up state.

"I-I don't know. I found him like this, laying on the floor-"

"Give him to me!"

A whimper subconsciously fell from his mouth as Axel began to lower him down, probably to his brother; he grabbed a hold of his shirt with shaky hands, pushing his face into the other male's chest to stop him from moving him away. That, and he didn't want to move away from him. Not yet. He could feel Axel tense as he did so, probably not expecting that kind of reaction. All he wanted was to stay in Axel's arms, nice and warm, and sleep.

He couldn't stay conscious long enough to hear how his brother reacted, though his hands kept firmly latched onto Axel's shirt even in sleep.


Axel looked up from the passed out boy in his arms to his brother, who had a mixture of surprise, hurt and confusion on his face. He seemed unsure of whether to move towards Roxas or not, who was still buried in his shirt, his hands clutched so tightly it was like his life depended on it. He took a moment to assess his condition; sure, Roxas never seemed to be the sort of person to overly care about his physical appearance but he looked dreadful. His eyes were puffy and red, blonde hair hanging limply against his face as the spikes lost their momentum. His lip looked swollen and had a tooth-mark gash centered in the middle, probably from biting his lip too hard. One of the arms that was clasping his shirt was covered in blood, though most of it seemed dried. The new gashes on his arms, standing out like a sore thumb, hurt him to look at. It hurt him to think about Roxas, sitting here, hurting himself... because of him. It was his fault.

"We need to get him to a hospital." Axel narrowed his eyes, slightly annoyed at the fact Sora didn't seem to be worried about the blonde's condition. The words seem to snap him out of his thought-filled daze and he shook his head roughly.

"No."

"No? What the hell do you mean no?" The redhead clenched his teeth, holding the boy closer to him. "If you haven't fucking noticed he's lost a lot of blood! And passing out is not a good sign, for God's sake!"

"No," Sora walked from the dingy room to the stairs, not bothering to check to see if the redhead was following him with his brother. Axel followed anyway, trying to be as still as he could while moving quickly after Sora. "Because he wouldn't want that. Plus, they were going to send him to an institute after the attempt. Please, Axel, I can't lose him again."

"...Attempt?" Axel stilled as they reached the front door, Roxas' feet dangling as he abruptly stopped. Sora turned to face him, his expression falling in to one of pity and remorse at the sight of the redhead's dumbfounded expression.

"...You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"Axel, the reason why Roxas was in a coma." Sora sighed deeply, scratching his head. "Was because he tried to kill himself."


The first thing Roxas noticed when he woke up was the absence of Axel.

The second was that his arms were very tightly wrapped in bandages.

He groaned slightly as he used his arms to prop himself up, wincing at the stiffness of his limbs and sting as the bandages shifted slightly. A glance to the bedside table saw his phone resting there, untouched. He laid back down onto the soft pillows, grabbing the phone off the side and instantly hastily covering his eyes with his arms at the brightness of his screen, the darkness of his bedroom not helping in the slightest. When his eyes adjusted it was blank, albeit from a few missed calls from Sora and Axel an hour after he ran off from him. Nothing else. Roxas felt slightly dejected at the fact Axel hadn't tried to get into contact with him, becoming increasingly worried. What if he'd scared him off?

He opened up Axel's contact, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. What was he supposed to say? 'Hey man, hope me slashing my wrists didn't scare you off. Oh and I may also be developing feelings for you!'

He scratched that last part. He didn't really know what he felt for Axel.

In the end he just settled with an 'I'm sorry.' and threw his phone onto the free side of his bed, groaning yet again in annoyance. Since when did he care? He didn't. But... he did. Really. He didn't want to.

Either way sitting around and moping wasn't going to help. With a sigh he hoisted himself upwards, his bare feet coming into contact with the cold floor. He grabbed a sweater and pulled it over his head gingerly, not bothering about trousers as Sora must have changed him before bed. Or Axel. His cheeks reddened at the thought.

He padded over to the door, pushing it open with a creak. At the sound Sora warily opened his eyes and blinked a couple times, registering the person that was causing the noise; he rubbed his eyes, moving himself so he was sitting against the back of the couch rather than laying. "Hey Roxas."

Roxas didn't reply. Rather, he sat next to Sora, resting his head against his brother's shoulder. An unspoken silence passed through them before Roxas mumbled, arising Sora's attention. He made a 'hmm?' sound, clearly not having heard the words that the blonde had spoken.

"...I'm sorry." His voice sounded more regretful and mournful than he intended but at least he'd gotten his point across. He almost fell face-first into the sofa when the brunette swiftly moved to face him, his expression completely and utterly sad. Roxas wondered in that moment that if he looked anything like that when he was in a coma he wasn't surprised Riku had been kinda pissed at him. Well, a lot pissed at him. He hated making his brother sad. He was always the one protecting him,being there for him, holding him when he cried. Even if he felt like crying himself. So the sight of his brother with that expression on his face, well - it hurt.

"I'm sorry too." Sora looked downwards, his eyes glancing to Roxas' bandaged arms.

"What?" Roxas hissed, ignoring the stare and the self-consciousness that came with it. Instead he took Sora's hands in his own and blue eyes locked onto blue- sadness pictured in each, though the brunette was close to crying. "You have no reason to be sorry. You're not at fault here. Or Axel. I slipped up and I'm sorry. For everything."

Before Sora could interrupt, his mouth opening to argue his side, Roxas put his hand upwards, a motion of I'm not done. Sora closed his mouth, halting whatever he was preparing to say, his eyes welling up slightly.

"I put you through so much shit. You had to sit there and watch me, for over a year, not getting any better. Wondering every day whether I'll wake up or not. I'm so sorry for putting you through that pain. I really am." Roxas sighed, putting his head in his hands. "I never think of anybody else..."

"Stop apologizing." Sora giggled, his voice wavering slightly. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, small tears falling despite his efforts. "Now look what you've made me do!"

"Sorry." He laughed himself at the realization of the fact he apologized again. "Please don't blame yourself, Sora. Get angry, upset, whatever; just don't direct it at yourself."

"On one condition." The brunette sat up straight, his face full of seriousness. Roxas frowned, egging him to continue. "You try."

"Try what?" He questioned, his face evident of the fact he didn't know what his brother was referencing.

"Try and get better. Try and open up. Try and go to therapy- and don't lie to me, Arieth told me you haven't attended the last few sessions and had only been to one. I had to make up a bullshit excuse that you were busy."

Roxas nodded. sighing. "Okay."

"Your next session is scheduled to be today- you feel up to it?" Sora asked cautiously, probably referencing the night before. His face seemed slightly brighter than before though, probably because of their talk, so he complied. Keeping his brother happy was his main priority.

"As much as I'll ever be."


"I'm... really glad you decided to come today, Roxas. Although it is voluntary, I still have to report to social services on how you're holding up." She smiled warmly, her skin creasing slightly at the corners of her eyes. "So, how have you been?"

"Last night, I... relapsed." The words came out before he could stop them. It's not like he wanted to keep that fact from her but he wasn't usually so quick to spill everything. The fact he did surprised him and Aerith must have noticed too for she raised an eyebrow, crossing her hands on her lap.

"What triggered this relapse?" Roxas looked down, surprise evident on his face at the question. He'd partly expected a mouthful of curses and an earful of reasons why he shouldn't have done it. She didn't seem angry at all.

The brunette sighed, slightly moving in her chair. "Relapsing is a part of recovery, Roxas. Sure, you hadn't done it in over a year and a half, correct?" He nodded. "But to you, it wasn't that long. You're still struggling with urges fresh in your mind and it's not going to be gone overnight."

"You're not..." Roxas looked up into her teal eyes, a smile forming on her face, egging him on. "Mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" She shook her head. "You're trying, and that pleases me to see. Although you may not see it you've improved since you came last, that first time I saw you.

"I don't know what pushed you to open up more but I'm glad, both for your and Sora's sake. You've still got a long way to go but you've taken your first step. You're willing to talk about something."

Roxas smiled, only a slight tug of the mouth but she caught it, a similar smile appearing.

"So... What triggered the relapse, Roxas?"

"I... Somebody visited me, a lot, while I was in the coma." She frowned, not understanding the small tidbit that he'd shared, though he continued. "A guy. He kept me company; I began to long to hear his voice, wait for him to visit so I wouldn't be alone with only my mind to keep me company. It was nice." Roxas scratched the back of his neck. "A couple weeks after I woke up, I met him. His brother owns the bar where Sora works, and he happened to come in with his brother."

"I met him, and he turned out to be the cockiest, egotistical, asshole of a guy I'd ever met. He wasn't that person that visited me in hospital, the one that seemed sweet. No, he... he wasn't. And then..."

"What happened?"

"I told him about Hayner. And... Luna. Not.. that, just that she was a shit parent." Roxas chuckled. "I told him that I didn't know why I was telling him because," he made the motions of quotations with his fingers, "'why would you care anyway?' And he pulled me onto his lap and told me he did care. Because he liked me."

Aerith bit her lip, seemingly in thought. "Liked?"

"Yeah. Liked. As in more than a friend."

"No, I mean... Why are you using past tense, Roxas?"

"Because," a desperate laughing sound escaped his lips, "I freaked out and ran. To my old house, that hellhole, found a knife and I'm sure you can guess the rest. Axel found me in a bloody mess."

"How do you know this changes things between you two?"

"Why would he still want to be with me after seeing that?" He recoiled after the words left his lips, falling back into the chair he'd almost jumped out of as he started to become overrun by his emotions. He'd said it like... he wanted a relationship with Axel, and that the Roxas was the one with unrequited feelings.

But he didn't want a relationship with him. He didn't like him and barely as a friend!

But.. what if he did?

His mind flashed back to those times while he was in the coma. He'd looked forward to Axel's visit more than he did Sora's, eventually. He'd memorized every part and pitch of his voice and was able to tell exactly what mood he was in just by the tone. He knew how Axel's voice deepened slightly when he chuckled and laughed and when he was talking about something he was passionate about he'd get lost in his words, his voice often trailing off into a whisper. He knew his hands were slightly rough yet soft, how his hand had molded perfectly into Roxas' whenever he held his hand while he was in hospital.

Roxas knew that whenever he touched Roxas' arm his voice would sound slightly sad. He'd trace the outlines of the cuts, sighing as he did so.

'You have a lot of battle scars kid... I hope one day I can help heal them all."

He knew. Even when he was in the coma Axel knew he was messed up. He knew that it wouldn't be easy when, or if, Roxas woke up. He knew he'd have to be there, he'd have to put up with all that shit.

So why was he such an ass?

Scratch that. When he really thought about it, other than the Namine incident Axel hadn't gone out of his way to be rude. Cocky, sure, but..

Why was he such an ass? To Axel?

When he'd woken up from that nightmare in the club he'd woken to Axel's concerned face. He'd teased him, sure, but he'd looked worried the whole time. He'd called him cute and made him blush. He'd been open with him, telling him about Reno's cancer and how he was basically an orphan. They'd interacted more and more as the weeks went by yet Roxas hadn't told the redhead anything. Nothing about the flashbacks, the coma, nothing. He knew that Axel knew something was up.

He chose to ignore it.

Yet Axel still stayed. Still tried to grab his attention. Was still... there.

Still there with his smile as wide as he imagined it would be. Still there with his voice that deepened whenever he talked about something serious or seemed concerned. Still there with those eyes that seemed to reach into him, like he knew when smiles were fake and knew when Roxas was not okay. Yet he just pushed him away. Rejected his advances. Treated him as a nuisance rather than somebody that had clearly shown he wanted to stay. Axel couldn't have made it any clearer that he liked him yet Roxas panicked. As always.

He hadn't had an answer from Aerith- or maybe he did, he just wasn't listening, clearly too deep in thought. He didn't look up at her though, his mind reeling from too many thoughts.

Roxas pulled out his phone, staring at the blank screen. Still no reply from Axel.

And that's when he truly realized he was starting to fall for the damn redhead.


I don't really know if the swapping of PoV's will become a thing often done. I hope it's not too annoying - I just do it when I see fit and that situation seemed to call for it. Sorry this chapter is a little shorter- I've been slow with updates and wanted to get this out before I sleep. Plus, I was planning to have a whole other situation happen but decided to put it in the next chapter instead and have a nice little chat between Aerith and Roxas.

Like always, Review/Favorite/Follow if you liked, and there's plenty more to come~