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Chapter 5 (Part II): ...And Just One Good One for Why It Will

Chapter Songs:
Part I: There Are A Million Reasons for Why This May Not Work...And Just One Good One for Why It Will by Moneen
Part II: We Are The People by Empire of the Sun


Followed the sun until night
Reminiscing other times of life
For each every other
The feeling was stronger
The shock hit eleven, got lost in your eyes

We Are The People by Empire of the Sun


Edward POV:

He was wearing a police uniform, the words Forks Police Department and Charles Swan, Chief of Police embroidered onto his shirt. He was a large man, fit with firm muscles, but a pot belly. He looked like he would be a little shorter than me, 6'1 or so. I immediately recognized his rosy cheeks and chestnut colored hair. I looked at Bella, then back at him again. She looked so much like him, it was uncanny. Carlisle really had found Bella's father.

The anger I thought I was going to feel wasn't there. I was going to ignore Carlisle's wishes and give him a mouthful (or a chair-full, perhaps) of what he deserved, but I suddenly found myself to be too exhausted to even consider such a thought. The moment I saw his eyes, I knew that he loved Bella. Don't ask me how I knew, but I did. I just felt it.

"Charlie, I apologize again for calling you so late." Carlisle said quietly, not moving from his seat. He held out a hand to me, urging me to stay in my seat. I wasn't going to move anyway, but I nodded my head to let him know I wouldn't do anything. It seemed to relax Carlisle somewhat. Charlie looked as if he hadn't heard a word Carlisle said. It was clear there was only one thought on his mind.

Charlie Swan's eyes trailed toward the bed, and his eyes filled with tears. He pulled out a tissue from his breast pocket and blew his nose. His shoulders were shaking from the sobs that rumbled from his chest.

"My baby girl," his voice whispered such agony it made both Carlisle and I weep.

Bella POV:

Instead of opening my eyes, I decided to just listen to my surroundings. I could hear running water, a fountain perhaps, and birds singing all around me. I was hypnotized by the gentle swaying of the breeze caressing my skin.

Well, this definitely isn't the hospital.

I took in a deep breath, letting the smell of fresh grass and flower blossoms engulf my senses. I was in heaven. I had to be. I slowly opened my eyes and let the blinding sun invade my vision. I laughed breathlessly, closing my eyes again for a moment. My closed eyelids were now a bright red. I tried not to wince as I opened my eyes, raising my hand to block the sun. I gasped when I saw no cuts or scars on my arm.

Am I dead?

I sat up quickly, looking down at my body. I was wearing clothes that I hadn't worn in years; denim shorts, roman sandals and a baggy floral singlet. My toe nails were painted black, like I used to do years before my admission into the asylum. My fingers played with the beautiful purple petals that surrounded me. The scent coming off them was astounding. The sun was warming my ice cold skin in the best kind of way. I basked in it. The smell of summertime made me feel as light as a cloud. I was at peace. Completely.

My hand flying over my mouth as I gasped again.

I must be dead. Oh shit!

"No. You're not dead, Bee." Alice said to me quietly. She was now laying beside be, her hand in mine. I blinked a few times before a wide grin spread across my face. This was my Alice, all traces of Malice dead and gone. Her gray eyes were sparkling delicately in the sunlight like a thousand diamonds. Her skin was sun kissed and glowing. She had a peaceful smile on her face. I couldn't even begin to describe the relief that washed over me in that moment. She was okay!

"I knew you wouldn't leave me."

She smiled sadly and rolled over to face me. That was the Alice I remembered. I was sure I was grinning like an absolute idiot, but I couldn't find it in me to care. "I was still there, Bee. Just not visually. I just wish you talked to Carlisle about her." She didn't say her name, but the hate was there. She shuddered before looking at me again, smiling.

"You mean the fucked up zombie version of you?"

She chuckled softly, her laughter as gentle as the breeze.

"Yes, that crazy bitch. But then again, I can't really talk, can I? I never left you, Bee. You just thought I did."

"But for the past three weeks there were no traces of you..."

She played with my fingers, eyes averted to the endless sky before us. We didn't speak for a while and just watched the scenery before us. Clouds quickly flew past us, white and soft like marshmallows. I was wrong about the fountain. It was actually a running lake. I could see ducks and fish creating ripples in the water. I was still unsure about where I was. If I'm not dead then where was I? In limbo?

"I told you, dingus, you're not dead. You're just unconscious. And just so you know, you really should have talked to someone about Malice. You should have spoken to Carlisle. What do you think he's payed for? To sit there and look pretty? He would have helped you through it."

"I'm really not dead? This," my hands swept the field, "is all in my imagination?" She nodded her head, smiling widely.

"This is your mind protecting you right now. After all of the chaos and turmoil you have been feeling, you deserve a little happiness, right?"

Did I deserve this? Definitely not, but I'm not going to ask it all to be taken away from me. I could stay here, watching the endless skies and flowers bloom for the rest of my life. It was all so breathtakingly beautiful. Alice played with the purple flowers, picking apart petal after petal. She was trying to work up the nerve to tell me something but I didn't know what.

"I don't recognize this place. Is this a subconscious memory?"

"I'm surprised you don't. You seem to have forgotten all the good that was in your life." She said sadly, sitting up and moving closer to me. "When we were kids, we used to come here all the time and feed the ducks. The day I died we pulled a shifty and skipped school and ran here to play hop scotch. Remember?"

I laughed at the memory, deciding to forget the devastating truth of her death. I remembered that we skipped all the way from our school to our secret place, this meadow, to play games and do whatever we pleased. It was a place of serenity for us. Our sanctuary. I grinned, turning to face Alice.

I thought back to when I was a kid, with an alive Alice, and the mischief we used to get up to. On sleepovers, we'd sneak out after dark and watch the stars, occasionally whispering words of awe to each other or laughing about Michael, a boy that had an enormous crush on me at the time. I remembered the times where we'd just look at each other and burst out laughing, knowing what was on each others mind at the time. I remembered the times where we used to pig out on watermelon, or the times she'd hug me tightly when Renee and I would get into fights over trivial things. Our relationship was far too mature for the tender age of eight, yet so perfect at the same time. It was one of those friendship's that were near impossible to find... And we found it. We had it. We were meant to be sister's for life, and her life was taken away from her before she really got to live it.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and ask the questions I wanted to ask her for weeks now.

"Will you explain to me why Malice took over you?"

She laughed loudly, the sound echoing into the distance. "You know, for someone so smart, you sure can be stupid sometimes, Bee." I decided to ignore her insult and signaled her to continue.

"Remember a few weeks ago? That courtyard incident with Renee? Do you remember the rage that was burning through your veins? That something snapped inside you?"

"Yes."

"Malice spawned from that, Bee. She was the hate within you. And I guess, I represent shelter to you. She wanted to take over you, to make sure you would become consumed by hate. I can thankfully say with great relief that that crazy zombie bitch is out of the picture for now." She ruffled my hair playfully.

"Well I guess that makes sense..." Was all I could say. God, the mind was really such a fascinating thing, when you thought about it. All of these defense mechanisms your mind creates to protect or destroy you. I swore to myself that if Malice were to ever make a reappearance in my life, I would say something. I wouldn't suffer in silence this time.

"She was this manifestation...this lifeless being that wanted you to be just as empty."

"And you say that you're my shelter?"

"Well duh. I am the security in you that you long to have. You never had a secure upbringing, even though you lived with your mother. You moved from place to place, taking new names, new faces. The main reason I can't stand Renee is because she has a hidden agenda, Bee. There is something hidden behind her eyes whenever she'd look at you. After I died, you couldn't cope anymore. You felt alone. You needed to cope, so you created me. But you don't need me anymore, Bee. You now have that security in the form of Edward."

Edward. Could he really be the security that I needed? A healthy one? I could feel tears falling from my face, Alice's words really hitting home.

"I don't want to lose you, Al." I whispered, squeezing her hand tightly. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Alice after everything we went through. In letting go of her, I feel like I'm letting the idea of her go and succumbing to Renee's lies. I know she was real, but why was she telling me that I didn't need her anymore?

"Hey now," her voice sounded so damn mature, a mother soothing a broken child, "I'm closer than you think, Bee. Alice Brandon will forever be a part of your life. She's in your heart. She's in every step you take. You just need to really take a step back and not let this ruin your life anymore."

"You're not ruining my life."

"No? Look where you are now, Isabella. You deserve so much more than this. You know it, and I know it. I will still be around occasionally." She laughed, "Don't think you can get rid of me that easily. But you are at the point now were you can't keep holding onto me anymore. It's time to let go."

"I don't think I can. I don't even know if I want to."

"I know you can, and you know how I know? Because I am in your mind, motherfucker. You can do this. When you hit the bottom, you have to work your way up again. And for the first time in ten years, you're strong enough to do that."

I laughed through my tears, hugging Alice as tightly as I could. I finally understood why I was here, with Alice right now. My mind was giving me much needed rest and guidance before I had to start the long road to recovery. And Alice was right, I think I am ready to try now.

"Oh shit," I thought of the cuts, the suicide attempt and Edward finding me.

Shit, shit, shit!

"If I'm unconscious, Edward would have called a nurse! Fuuuuuuck!"

"Shut up, dork. It's your fault if he did blab. Look what you did to yourself in retrospect. He was worried about you and did nothing but care for you when he could have just walked away."

"Fuck. You're right. You're always right."

"And plus... Edward's a hunky piece of meat. And he really loves you. He's a girl's dream, Bee. Nab that!"

"A hunky piece of meat? Ugh, shit, I missed your senseless rabble."

"There's no way I'm leaving," a melodic, baritone voice sounded. It was distorted and echoed from the sky. I looked up in confusion, wondering what was happening. "No, you listen. I'm not leaving her." Edward's voice said in quiet anger.

"Edward, you need to have some rest, son." I immediately recognized Carlisle's mixed accent. "You've been here since she came back from the E.R. You need to look after yourself."

"No. There's no way I'm leaving her. I told her I'd be here when she woke up."

Alice pulled me into her arms quickly, hugging me with all of the strength her tiny frame could muster.

"You're about to wake up." She answered my silent question. I started sobbing onto my best friend's shoulder, knowing our time together was about to draw to a close. I was scared to leave this place, to leave her. "You can do this, Bee. I know you can. Remember, you are a strong woman. You just need to keep telling yourself that."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

"Exactly."