Alright, so Curd is going all 'FREAKY' on us, and Chagecha and the others aren't gonna take it anymore, right?!
"Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas!" Tiger Mask screamed into the microphone, the music still blaring throughout the stadium.
"HOLD ON! THIS IS JUST WAY TOO FREAKY!" Masato exclaimed after watching Curd's disturbing "fusion" with Aku, "IS THIS...IS THIS REALLY CHAGECHA?! COULD I ACTUALLY BE LIVING IN A WEIRD FABRICATION OF NON-CANON BY BEING APART OF SOME RIDICULOUS FANFIC?! COULD THAT...BE THE TRUTH BEHIND EVERYTHING?!"
"Well, this sure as hell ain't Gintama or Kochikame!" snapped the sea lion standing next to him, who Masato knocked out with a single punch.
'Ugh...I just wanna go home and watch Strawberry Panic(1)...' Kouzan thought with a sigh.
"Was werden Sie nun tun, hübsch Sir Chagecha? Ich werde Sie töten mit relativer Leichtigkeit.(2)" Curd taunted, his body now refueled with yanki energy. His hair were now more like snakes than pompadours, slithering around his head like that of Medusa's. Plus, the fact he was so flamboyant didn't help any, either.
Turning to Chagecha, Himawari asked, "So...what are we gonna do?"
"As much as I hate to admit it...I can't think of anything." Chagecha replied, totally focused on playing the GBA game suddenly in his hands.
"GIVE ME THAT GAME AND PAY ATTENTION!" Himawari snapped as she snatched the game away; looking at it, she realized he was playing 'Legacy of Goku 2'.
'He's...he's battling Cell!'
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Letting out a battle cry, Curd sent three long spiked pompadours piercing right through Chagecha's body. Oddly enough, he didn't even try to avoid them, yet he didn't seem injured by the sharp evil hairdos sticking into his body.
"S...SEMPAI!!" Masato cried.
Smirking, Chagecha rubbed his hand on his chin and remarked, "You know, this reminds me of an old favorite comedy of mine, called 'Shinsetsu Ball Z'..."
It was a rather quiet day at the bank. Only a few customers were around, and nothing interesting had happened at all since the beginning of the morning workshift. All that changed, however, when four figures entered the building:
Goku, Vegeta and Gohan were all wearing big sunglasses, moustaches, ponchos and sombreros, and Piccolo was dressed like a circus clown for some reason. Pulling out shoutguns from underneath their disguises, they all fired simultaneously into the air and shouted, "ALRIGHT! THIS...IS A MAKE-SHIFT GANGSTER PARTY!"
Then, everyone started dancing as the music played...until Congressman Cell and his lovely wife Frieza entered the building.
An awkward silence filled everyone's hearts, and Vegeta squealed like a piggy...
"Hey, are you apart of the voting commitee?" Cell asked Goku, but the response to his question was a powerful smack to the face.
"Heh heh...good times, good times..." Chagecha said, chuckling to himself.
"WAIT! I ZONED OUT THERE FOR A MOMENT! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Masato exclaimed in confusion.
Himawari snarled. "Che! What an idiot...a cute idiot, but an idiot none the less..."
Snickering in his palm, Longhorn Onizawa said, "Oh, so you DO have feelings for Masato, I see...hee hee..."
Himawari blushed and kicked Longhorn Onizawa in the face before walking away. 'Actually...I was talking about Chagecha...but whatever...'
"Hey...do you got any money?" Kouzan asked Kotarou.
"No...why?"
"I wanna buy some porn. And cracker jack. And skittles. And M&Ms. Because I'm evil."
"You make me sick." Kotarou snarled before walking off...to buy some porn.
As the tentacle-like pompadours retracted back, Chagecha didn't seem any worse for wear. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying this battle. His yanki energy was flowing like crazy, and not even someone like Curd with his new enhanced power could help but feel a bit uncomfortable.
'Argh! This guy...he's like Takagi from Bakuman(3)! Never giving up...and some other crap I can't remember! SO ANNOYING!' Shaking these thoughts out of his head, Curd used Aku's body to unsheath the black katana from before and charge straight at Chagecha, in attempt to slice him in two.
"Sorry...but that won't work."
With his bare hand, Chagecha grabbed the katana, snapped it in half, and then used his other hand to punch Aku hard in the head, sending him flying off to the side and breaking him out of Curd's control. Blood spurted out of Curd's mouth and he stumbled backwards in pain.
"Woke up this morning...got yourself a gun...mama always said you'd be the Chosen one..." Tiger Mask sang, his tone now deeper.
Snarling, Curd shouted, "SIR CHAGECHA...I WILL BEAT YOU TO THE EDGE OF YOUR LIFE...AND THEN FORCE YOU TO WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2!"
Chagecha, and everyone else in the stadium for that matter, gasped in horror. 'THAT'S...THAT'S...THAT'S JUST TOO CRUEL FOR WORDS!'
"YOU MANIACAL BASTARD!" With the broken piece of the katana still in his hand, Chagecha ran at Curd and began swinging it at him. However, every slice of the blad was esily blocked by Curd's many pompadours, and it was soon smacked out of Chagecha's hands and sent sprawling across the floor.
Cursing under his breath, Chagecha thought, 'Argh...now what do I do? I don't have any Super Fist style or anything awesomely cool like that...'
Closing his eyes, he recalled the words of his master, a certain jelly man. "Remember...'NU' is the true word of the day...never forget that..."
'THAT'S TOTALLY USELESS INFORMATION!' Chagecha realized in despair.
"NOW...YOU DIE!" Curd screamed, and he prepared to plunge one of his pompadours into Chagecha's skull.
Masato let out a gasp. "SEMPAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!"
Suddenly, the bottom half of Aku's katana flew through the air, and pierced right into Curd's throat. Coughing up blood, Curd struggled to stand for a moment before falling backwards. Turning around, everyone saw that the person who had saved them...was Aku himself!
Smirking through his blood-stained teeth, Aku remarked, "Hmph...good thing I kept a spare soul in my pocket just in case something like this happened...(4)"
'HE...HE HAS A SPARE SOUL?!' Masato thought.
Wiping the sweat off his face, Chagecha exclaimed, "Well, the battle ended just like how I expected! AH HA HA HA HA-"
"STOP SHOWING OFF!" Himawari snapped, smacking her chain ball into Chagecha's face, "IT WAS DAMN LUCK THAT AKU ENDED UP SAVING YOU IN THE LAST MOMENT! ...WAIT, AKU SAVED YOU!"
Oddly enough, Aku seemed prefectly fine despite his injuries as he walked over to the group. Pulling out his plastic-ball pistol from earlier, he pressed it against Chagecha's forehead and sneered, "Well, I paid you back for saving me. Now...it's time I fulfill my mission. Adios, Chagecha."
Suddenly, he felt something...or someone...land on his head. Glancing upwards, Aku saw that Longhorn Onizawa was now sitting on top of him for some reason.
Flashing a grin, Onizawa said, "Hey, baby...wanna slap on the ass, or can I go home with my dignity?"
"GET OFFA ME!" Aku shouted, swiping at the freakish high-schooler, but Longhorn Onizawa just punched the evil police man in the nose before running back over to Himawari for 'protection'.
Aku fired at Chagecha this time, only to realize he was shooting at empty space.
'H...HUH?!'
Suddenly, Chagecha wrapped his arms around Aku's waist and bent him over, practically snapping his back in the process. "KOTAROU...DO IT NOW! INJECT HIM WITH THE NEEDLE!"
Kotarou shrugged, and handed the needle over to Kouzan, who quickly injected a strange orange liquid inside into Aku's blood stream. "AUUUUUGH!" Aku screamed and twitched violently for a moment before he calmed down and lost consciousness. Foam drooled down his face due to him being upside down.
"...What did you do to him?" Himawari asked.
"Why, I injected him with 'Poppa Rocks Extract', of course," Chagecha explained, "It's very rare and hard to obtain, but I found some on E-bay, and it's supposed to make whoever is injected with it to think just like Don Patch...despite the fact that the extract and Don Patch don't even have the same name!"
For the first time in her life, Himawari felt a chill of fear crawl up her spine. For Masato, this was a feeling he had felt more often times than not. And Longhorn Onizawa...well, he just wet himself out of horror.
"WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT! NO...WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT!" Tiger Mask screamed into the microphone.
"Well, I guess we should get going then." Chagecha said, and he began to make his way towards the door with no further explanation.
Suddenly, Curd's fingers began to twitch slightly...
THE REFERENCE INDEX:
(1) - Some yuri anime awesomeness.
(2) - Use 'Google Translate'.
(3) - A new WSJ manga about two teens wanting to become manga artists; drawn and created by the creators of Death Note
(4) - Sort of a reference to Ichigo Kurosaki and the soul candy animal things that take over a Soul Reaper's body to keep it safe while the Soul Reaper himself/herself is fighting. Also, on another note, his balck katana is a reference to Ichigo's bankai as well. And, don't forget, he basically looks just like Ichigo...only in a Nazi uniform with smiley faces instead of swastikas.
