AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello all, I just want to thank everyone for their support of this story. I do so love reading all the reviews. It is such an encouragement to the writer. It also helps keep those new stories brewing. Well, he made it through a social evening with the team… will he make it to the Christmas gathering before talking himself out of it? Take a look and let me know what your thoughts are… please.
He watched her leave as he rose to place another log on the fire before lying down on the couch. A few hours later he found himself on his hands and knees, covered in sweat, heart pounding, head throbbing. He sat down on the floor and leaned back against the couch. Taking slow and deliberate breaths, he concentrated on the dying embers.
Six months, three years, or a decade, it didn't matter… Iosif had joined the host of other demons preventing him from ever sleeping more than a couple hours a night. If he were lucky, he would be able to catch another hour or so of sleep before the alarm.
When he felt he was once more in control, he gathered up the tray and took it to the kitchen. Once everything was properly washed, dried, and put away, he found himself wandering the halls as he worked his way up to his room. As he stepped up onto the landing of the third floor, he stopped as he felt for the key in his pocket. Crossing the hall to the room opposite his own he unlocked it. He turned the light on upon entering and winced at the brightness. While everything else had settled, the headache remained.
He slowly took in the mountain of supplies Hetty had stocked the room with, as if she knew he would be back.
Settling himself at the table he opened the drawers one by one in order to reacquaint himself with what treasures each held.
He spent the remainder of the night tinkering until finally he had laid his head down on his forearms, as he allowed them to rest on the table and fell asleep.
It was the sound of the door opening that jarred him awake.
Hetty said nothing as she set a cup of tea in front of him.
"Thank you," he offered, accepting it graciously.
"You know, there is a perfectly good bed in your room, across the hall. Might I suggest you avail yourself of it?" she stated, taking in the dark rings under his eyes.
"Sorry, Hetty, I just…"
"Nothing to apologize for… Are you hungry, Mr. Callen?" she asked warmly.
"Sure." Callen answered, knowing the truth would only get him a lecture on taking better care of himself.
"Very good. By the time you get yourself cleaned up, I should have it ready."
"Sounds good. Thank you, Hetty" he answered, pulling himself to his feet.
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Callen stepped into the kitchen and was taken back by the plate full of food that awaited him.
"Hetty… I said I was hungry, not starved…" Callen joked.
"Sit down and eat, Mr. Callen. You can tell me all you want about how well you are taking care of yourself but I happen to know better. Remember, it is I who chooses the clothes you wear when you go undercover… You have lost weight and those dark circles under your eyes aren't doing much to support your argument," she looked at him over the rim of her glasses.
He didn't say another word as he set to eating the large plate of food before him.
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The weekend passed quietly and come the start of the new week, Callen had assured Hetty he was capable of finding his own place.
As Christmas Eve day came to a close and everyone was leaving to start their Christmas vacation, Hetty found Callen sitting at his computer.
"Your reports are all in, Mr. Callen. Everything else can wait… go… wherever it is you intend to go to this evening." Hetty stated, "You are welcome to come to Dovecote for the evening and we could go to the Christmas dinner together…"
"Hetty, I'm fine," Callen assure her.
"Please tell me that you aren't choosing that couch over your room at Dovecote," she pointed at the couch he had claimed as his over a decade before.
"What? It's comfortable." Callen quipped.
Not to be outdone, "Well, I guess one can't expect much when your only other comparison is the floor."
"Hetty… no reason to be catty," Callen challenged.
"Very well, Mr. Callen, I shall leave you to it," Hetty turned to head down the back hall.
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The next morning, as Callen finished working out in the gym, he heard the familiar beep of a text coming in on his phone. Grabbing a towel, he walked over to the bench to check the message.
"Change of plans, more room at bar. Meeting there for dinner. Remember, you promised!" Callen found himself regretting the decision for at least the hundredth time, as he read Kensi's message.
It had been another night of little sleep. He'd never admit to anyone just how much he had allowed Iosif's taunts to invade his thoughts, even now.
While he had returned to the fold and made amends, little else had changed. He still worked for the very government that had wrecked his world as a child and continued to control it to this day… if only through his work. What else could he do? Short of mercenary work, his skillset was very select and he doubted he could ever settle into an everyday job like so many of his aliases.
Still, he and the team were little more than that. The familiarity of before was simply not there and they were all struggling and it was his fault because he simply couldn't do normal. He was too damaged.
With a sigh, he headed for the locker room to shower and change before heading out.
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"So, did he respond to your text at all?" Nell asked as she helped Kensi with the finishing touches for the small apartment.
"No, nothing," Kensi replied, her brow furrowed in concern.
"Well, I'm sure it's nothing. He promised he'd come," Nell assured her.
"I know… I just really want him to like the apartment." Kensi explained as she moved things around on the shelves, they had hung on the living room wall.
"And he will…" Deeks whispered in her ear, wrapping his arms around her from behind.
"Yeah?" she asked with a smile.
"yeah." was the reply.
"Here you are," Hetty stated as she entered the newly renovated apartment for the first time.
"Hetty! Merry Christmas!" Kensi greeted.
"Merry Christmas! I must say, you all are to be commended on a job well done."
"You like it?" Kensi asked uncertainly.
"It's lovely, my dear… and I am certain he will be touched by your generosity." Hetty exclaimed, being careful to hide her own uncertainty.
"You guys all up there?" Eric called up the stairs.
"Yeah, Eric, we're coming down now." Deeks answered, "We best get down there before he shows up."
Sam and the kids were the last to show other than Callen.
"Has anyone talked to him today?" Sam asked when Roberta and Julia began loading the table with their many delicacies.
"Not since I left him at the OSP last evening, I'm afraid," Hetty answered.
"He'll be here," Kamran answered confidently taking a seat at the table, making sure to save one next to her for Callen.
No one argued but followed the young girl's lead.
Just as the last of them were sitting down, they heard the back door open and shut and knew by the footsteps it was Callen.
"Hey man, you're just in time. We were just sitting down to eat." Deeks greeted warmly.
Quietly, he took the seat by Kamran, shooting her a quick smile as they said a short prayer prior to delving headlong into eating and conversation.
Julia smiled at Roberta as they looked at the satisfied smiles around the table.
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that we'll wait until later for dessert?" Roberta suggested to the overwhelming agreement of everyone present.
Once the kitchen was cleaned, they all gathered around the tree as everyone gradually handed out their presents until it was down to Callen.
