Sorry it's taking me so long to write chapters at the moment guys. I hope the wait it worth it. Thank-you to everyone who has read and/or reviewed so far. Hope you enjoy! x
C H A P T E R S E V E N
MINI
After Matty had spotted me on the stairs I had fled to the safety and privacy of Nick's room, unable to stop the tears before I closed the door. Distant sounds of laughter and singing drifted up to me as I sat in the darkness and silence, sobbing. I wasn't quite sure why I felt so bad. I kept telling myself that I had done the right thing and for all the right reasons but a wave of guilt still washed over me. Maybe it was the secrecy. Secrets always made me feel ill, like a dark presence at the back of your mind dragging you down.
"Mini where are you?" I heard Franky call from the bottom of the stairs. As she began to climb them I hurriedly wiped the tears off my face, for the second time today (this was turning into a habit). I met her at the top of the stairs, smiling broadly.
"Hey, where have you been? I've been calling for ages." she asked curiously.
"Just needed a moment. You know, clear my head and all that." I began to step lightly down the stairs, forcing Franky to turn around and walk down again in front of me.
"Have you seen Ari around?" she asked. I inwardly cringed at the use of her nickname. "I left her chatting with Matty and now I can't find either of them."
I feigned a look of innocence and confusion. "No. I haven't seen either of them. Have you tried out in the garden?"
"Yeah..." she mumbled, nibbling on the edge of her thumbnail and looking around, as if a previously unnoticed room might appear in which she would magically find her sister and friend. Trying to distract her I moved up behind her and placed my arms around her waist, leaning down to rest my chin on her shoulder.
"So shall we go join the others?" I asked. Somehow she managed to twist sideways out of my embrace till she was standing looking at me. She flung me an apologetic look as she backed away.
"Mins I'm sorry. I've got to find Ari. Maybe I should try the garden again."
And with that she disappeared towards the back of the house, hurrying away from me. I remained standing in the middle of the hallway, stunned. Never before had she moved away from my touch like that. When she didn't reappear I made my way back into the main room. Once again I took a seat next to Liv. The music was off and the atmosphere had changed. They were all in the dopey moments that followed a party, some of them sitting lifelessly and staring into space, others, like Alo, passed out and snoring slightly. He was curled up underneath the kitchen table.
Restlessly I began to flick through a magazine that was sitting on the coffee table unaware that I wasn't even reading it. I had flicked to page 13 before I realised that it was one of Nick's porn mags. Screwing up my nose in disgust I dropped it instantly and wiped my hands down on a cushion. A sudden thump on the couch next to me made me jump. I turned to see Franky sitting there, her arms crossed grumpily and a scowl on her face.
"Where the hell are they?" Her voice was laced with worry.
I gritted my teeth in frustration, suppressing the annoyance that was threatening to bubble out of me. "Maybe Matty took her out to get more booze or pills or something?"
She didn't answer so I tried again. "Come on Franks, they're just making friends-"
"Mini!" she cried in frustration. I promptly shut my mouth, staring at her in amazement. She jumped up off the couch like sitting next to me was deadly and stood wringing her hands. She wouldn't look at me. "It's not right! They've been gone ages and she doesn't know anyone here or anything!"
I sat still, sullenly staring ahead but she didn't even notice my response. She began to pace up and down the room. Next to me Liv stirred into life.
"Jesus, what's Franky wired on then?" she mumbled.
"Who gives a fuck?" I spat back before getting up and storming out of the room. I sat down on the bottom step, waiting for Franky to notice my exit, to follow me, to apologise. The silence pressed in on me and no one came through the door. I rearranged myself so I was sitting along the step with my back pressed against the wall. I curled up in a little ball with my hands scrunched into fists pressed against my heart. In the stillness I could feel every heart beat radiate through my body. Pressing harder on my chest I wondered if I was to reach into my chest, would I find a whole heart? Or would it have little damaged bits all over it? Areas where people had hurt me or rejected me or forgotten me? A few would have Franky bandaids on them. Like the one she put on my finger last week when I got a paper cut at her place; it had little dolphins and unicorns floating on pink swirly clouds. I remember thinking it was about as un-Franky as possible but for the next few days every time I looked at it I found myself smiling.
My fingernails were leaving painful marks on my skin
where I had my hands bunched up. I didn't care. Suddenly the emptiness and loneliness of the stairs was unbearable and I wanted any sensation to break that.
I don't know how long I sat there for but eventually I must have fallen asleep because suddenly someone was shaking my arm. Opening my eyes I realised I had my head resting on my arms against the step. My body was stiff from sitting in an awkward position for so long. As I went to stretch my legs I bumped someone and it was then I realised Franky was sitting on the step next to me and it was she who had shaken me awake. Yawning I reached out and stroked down her arm with the tip of one finger. When she didn't even move I sat up slightly to look at her more closely.
"Franks? Why are you crying? What's wrong?" I asked suddenly panicked. Silently she held out her phone to me. Confused, I took it and looked at the screen. It was a text from Matty.
Franky. Im with A. We r running.
Dont no where. Im sorry. Truly.
I read it through three times before it properly sunk in. Matty had followed her? Immediately I panicked that Arianna had told him about my part in her leaving and that he, of course, had told Franky, but quickly checking her messages I saw that there were no other texts from him. Feeling eyes upon me I glanced up and connected with Franky's gaze. She had been watching me intently, waiting for my reaction to the message. Quickly I checked myself, presenting what I hoped was an appropriate expression.
"Oh Franks. I'm so sorry." I reached out and pulled her towards me in a hug, all my anger forgotten at the sight of her stricken expression. I could feel her tears on my shoulder but she wasn't making a sound as she sobbed. Murmuring the usual useless comforts I rubbed gentle circles on her back. Pulling back she sniffed and brushed her hair out of her eyes. I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumb before lifting her chin to look into her eyes.
"He'll look after her. It will be alright." I was saying it as much for myself as for Franky. Observing my girlfriend's reaction had severely increased my guilt. I needed to believe that Matty's presence would make sure that what I had done didn't end in a complete fuck up.
"It's never alright," she said forlornly. "Something always goes wrong. How could they do that?"
"I know," I murmured hoping my voice wouldn't betray my feelings.
"I'm so sorry," she said suddenly. I looked at her confused.
"What for? This isn't your fault."
"No. I'm sorry for before. I've been horrible to you and you're being just perfect. I don't deserve it."
I couldn't speak. I was too afraid that the guilt building inside was going to bubble out in a confession. I had to pause a moment to compose myself, telling myself that confessing what I had done was not going to help at all. The adoring and grateful look on Franky's face only made this harder. I gave her a smile I hoped looked genuine.
"Don't be stupid. What else am I going to do?"
She leaned forward and wrapped me in her arms. As she went to pull away I stopped her, grateful for the moment.
'Franky..." I began but she cut me off, leaning in suddenly to kiss me. I felt my body warm to her touch instantly but my mind remained detached. All day I had longed for this, for things to be just like they were before, but now all of a sudden I couldn't focus. My mind was filled with nagging little voices and images. When I pulled away just a fraction before Franky I thought she was bound to notice. I watched her face closely waiting for her confusion but it seemed I was not the only one with my mind elsewhere. Getting up she held out her hand to me. I took it and slowly stood.
"I guess I had better tell Nick what's happened then," she said reluctantly. She glanced up at me hopefully, "Come with me?"
I grabbed her hand firmly, "Of course. Always."
