"Cousin Robert has been all aglow with praise for you Cousin Cora" Rose said happily chatting away, blissfully ignorant to the entire conversation that passed between Cora and Robert without actual words.

Cora studied Robert's face as she heard Rose's voice continue on; something about the Rose garden … something about the scent ... Cora was not exactly sure. She was too focused on Robert, on the way his eyes spoke to hers and the look of sadness on his face. Rose may not have recognized that Robert's expression spoke of his unhappiness, but Cora knew. She knew he was devastated by the look in his eyes and the turn of his nose, the quirk of his lips. She knew that face, she knew it better than any other in the world and she knew why it was so sad. She had heard every word her husband had spoken to Rose about her and she knew what that cost him. He was not open with his feelings, especially regarding matters of the heart. The fact that he had shared this with Rose spoke volumes. It meant he was desperately sad about Sybil, that he missed her and wanted to shower Rose with whatever she needed instead. It also meant that he was at a loss regarding his horrible mistake so many years passed now. For Robert to wax poetic in matters of love meant he was feeling vulnerable and out of control. Robert's complete lack of pretence and the rawness of his words struck Cora like a blow to the stomach; she felt a desperate need to fix it, to give him back the control and power he needed, that was always in her gift to give.

Robert found himself locked in a gaze with Cora, quite out of breath and unaware what he should do next. He had not expected to be overheard in his discussion with Rose, he had not planned or prepared for it. Now to be discovered by Cora herself he found that he had quite had the wind knocked out of him. He wanted to avoid her gaze and hide the shame and despair he knew must be evident in them, yet at the same time he could not tear his eyes away. The perfect clear blue of her eyes had always made him weak, and the way she could speak through them made him completely vulnerable to her. He wanted to jump up and gather her in his arms and pull her close, to bury his head in her hair and take in the soft smell of lilac she used as perfume. He wanted to sit across from her and not feel guilty, not feel the horrible dread in his chest that things were not right. He wanted to go back in time and never kiss Jane so that he would have never caused his wife such pain, but that was not something even the Earl of Grantham could command.

"And so I told Daddy that he simply had to have Higgins transplant the flowers to the London home, and he did and said they were absolutely glorious. Of course it will be rather a long time before daddy has the chance to see them again, but they are quite splendid and Higgins did say my idea was a brainwave" Rose giggled as she prattled on and looked around the garden. She rose to her feet and came to Cora's side, slipping her arm in hers and smiling wide. "Cousin Robert told me this is your most favorite part of the gardens cousins Cora. I do love Roses and can see why you like it so"

Cora grudgingly tore her gaze from Roberts and looked across at Rose. She was such a sweet thing, rather naïve and silly at times, but sweet nonetheless and Cora found her energy and enthusiasm very refreshing. She gently smiled at Rose who asked if Cora would show her the very best Roses in the garden. Cora had never wanted to do anything less than leave Robert at that moment. She wanted to stay with him, to talk to him, to find a way to explain the thoughts and feelings she was having and how his words had moved her. She could however think of a legitimate reason to abandon young Rose, and as Robert stood with an encouraging smile Cora felt she was stuck. Sending her husband a brief look of apology she turned with Rose and left him standing alone.

Robert considered the events in the garden as he walked by himself back to the house. Cora and Rose had gone further about the gardens, Rose with her boundless energy and chatter, Cora with a look he couldn't quite place. She had looked at him before she had left with Rose and he could not figure out what it meant. She had looked almost apologetic, although he could imagine why and knowing their current disagreement he did not think it was in the realm of possibilities for her to be sorry. She had nothing to be sorry for. Unless she was sorry because of the state of their marriage, and that she had decided on a course of action that she knew he would not like. The whole situation made him uneasy. He could not live a life without Cora, if she came to him and said she needed space or asked him to go away for a while he feared his heart would stop beating. They had come through so much, things were better than ever despite their recent tragedies and then – like a great blow this happened and threw everything into disarray. If only he could make her see that he was the worst kind of fool, but it meant nothing to him. She was everything. She was his world. By the time he reached Downton he was exhausted and far too melancholy for anyone to see him, so he trudged up the stairs and settled in his room with a book he knew he wouldn't read.

When Cora finally managed to slip away from Rose it seemed like hours later. Rose had talked and talked and talked as they had walked through the Rose's and Cora had barely gotten a word in. She hadn't minded not being an integral part of the conversation as her own thoughts were quite all consuming and she had found herself rather wrapped up in them. She wondered what Robert was doing, and if he was still as terribly miserable as he had been earlier? She considered the things Violet had told her, and tried to remember what Jane looked like. She didn't know why, but for some reason she thought she might feel better if she could put a face to the woman's name once again. What did it really matter now? She chided herself; it is in the past, years past in fact. She briefly wondered if Robert would know where she was, but she quickly dismissed that thought. He wouldn't have kept in contact, he wouldn't have risked discovery but more than that he wouldn't have done that to Cora. He would have known that a kiss was one thing, confidences shared in letters over time would have been quite another. It made her shudder to even think it, she wouldn't ask Robert about that either, it wouldn't serve any purpose but to hurt him she felt like they had both done enough of that. Cora had come to the conclusion that her reign has ice queen had gone on long enough. Yes she had been hurt, yes she had felt betrayed, yes it had shaken her world. Yet, she knew she couldn't go on this way forever. She would never be able to remain so distant from Robert while living under the same roof, and she knew the only way to avoid that was for one of them to leave for awhile … and that thought made her throat catch. It had really been that thought that had bought her to her current state. She knew she had to do something other than brood and be angry, but when she considered the option of time apart it made her heart hurt and it was difficult to swallow. She knew she couldn't do that. Which left her just one option.

Robert woke to the sound of a knock at his door and a pain in his side. "Come in" he said as he extricated the book wedged between his side and bed and tossed it on the bedside table. All of a sudden he felt incredibly old. He had a pain in his side, he'd just finished an afternoon nap, and he was letting his marriage fall apart … the signs of a silly old man. He turned his gaze toward the door but it did not open, rather he heard the sound of a throat being cleared behind him and he turned to the other door, the one that connected Cora's room to his. He had not realized the knocking had come from there, he had never expected she would want to see him. At the sight if her he felt even older and more decrepit than before. She stood before him, effortlessly graceful and elegant in her dark blue skirt which hugged her figure and belted above her waist. Her dark cream blouse tucked in to accentuate her flawless form and the perfection of her skin … she looked younger and full of life, he looked old and took naps.

"Oh Cora, I'm sorry. I thought it was must have been Bates" he stammered as he rose to his feet, getting up from the bed to attempt to gain a little composure back. "I came in here to read and I just …" he trailed off running his hand through his hair as he considered the old man she must see standing in front of her. His gut twisted in remorse.

"You had a nap?" Cora asked with a soft smile, "That is rather unusual for you. I don't recall the last time you did that" Cora saw the expression on Robert's face turn into a frown and wondered what she had said to cause such a response? Could she really not know him very well anymore?

"Yes" he snapped, "I napped. I am a grandfather … I am old" he stood in front of her looking at the floor, the window, the dresser … averting his eyes from her at all costs. She must think him old and foolish, and a cheating husband … she had come to demand his removal to London, or announce she would go to America … this was it. If only he had not been caught napping he may ha e been able to regain some dignity, but what did dignity matter when he would be losing Cora? He would grovel for her … should he just start now? Drop to his knees and beg forgiveness again?

"Robert I … I didn't mean that" she said, the hurt evident in her voice. "You are not old"

"I feel old" he said, his tone softening and his eyes finally settling on hers. If this was one of their last moments together he decided he would take in the sight of her and commit her face and form to memory once again. "I feel very old and very foolish"

"You cannot be old, because if you are old then I am old … are you calling me old Robert?" he thought he detected a hint of teasing in her tone … maybe his hearing was going out too.

"Of course not, you are anything but old." He said forcefully, adding in a slight murmur, "you are perfection" if she was going to leave him he wanted to hold her one more time. He wanted to kiss her again and breathe in her scent.

"Robert." She breathed murmured softly looking down, he took perhaps his last chance and he strode towards her gathering her in his arms, and placing his lips against hers gently. He waited for her to fight him, to push him away. He braced himself for the hurt look in her eyes and the slamming of the door. When nothing came he pushed against her lips with greater intensity and kissed her more deeply. To his great surprise she kissed him back, lifting her arms around his neck to hold him place and keep the connection. He drew his arms up her back and pulled her into his embrace further, slowly closing the distance between their bodies and placing them firmly pressed together. He had missed her. He had missed his wife, the feel of her body and the taste of her. He regretted this last kiss, he regretted doing it to himself because it was a fresh reminder of what he would be missing.

Cora was surprised when Robert crossed the room and gathered her in his arms. She had thought he seemed not quite himself when she entered the room, but now he was kissing her, caressing her back with his strong hands and running his lips across hers. She loved the way he felt. She loved the strength of his jaw and the way she felt so perfect in his arms. She did not want it to end, encouraging his kiss she parted her lips slightly allowing him access and sighed contentedly as he took advantage and slipped his tongue inside. She ran a hand down his back and gripped his waist, her other hand leaving the back of his neck and moving to his side where it slid up and over his shoulder, coming to rest against the back of his neck again and plunging her fingers into his hair. She heard him groan in pleasure and the sound made her weak at the knees. She had missed this, she had missed him. She needed him. He made her whole and she could not escape that.

"Cora" he murmured against her mouth as he devoured her soft flesh. He would not survive when she left him. He would not come back from this, but he would take the risk anyway. It was sweet, sweet torture to be with her and know it was coming to an end. "Cora" he breathed reverently as he lifted his lips from hers and kissed her neck in the soft porcelain creases at the base. He felt her hand in his hair needing against his scalp, softly tugging against his hair, her other hand gripping his waist pulling him as close to her as possible. He was on fire, he needed her and if she pulled away from him now he might explode. He moved his hands from her back and slid one around her waist, the other cupping her and lifted her into his arms. She let out a gasp and he silenced her by placing his lips back on hers and ravished her mouth with his. She gripped his bicep with one hand and tugged gently on his hair with the other. She moved her mouth against his and slid her tongue against his driving him wild. With 3 great steps he was at his bed and laid her gently down, draping his body over hers and moving his hands along the lengths of her arms.

Cora could barely contain the whimpers that escaped her as Robert lavished her body with attention, his kisses had become so intense and erotic she knew she was already prepared to take him into her in every way. He had stirred her to complete distraction and as she felt his hands trace the length of her arms and reach her hands she gripped them tight. He held on and lifted her arms gently above her head, pressing them down against the pillows in the way he knew she loved. He kissed her neck and chest and swirled patterns with his tongues as if he were tasting her flesh. She felt his need pressing against her and she gasped in rapid heated breaths.

"Robert" she murmured in need. He took it as an invitation and let go of her hands to run his fingers down the length of her body. She shivered at his touch and reached down to grip his shoulders as his fingers reached the hem of her skirt and he lifted it up, his hands tracing the lengths of her legs as he pulled her skirt up, she moaned encouragingly and her nipped at her chest in response.

Cora moved her hands to his chest and gripped his shirt, thankful he had removed his jacket before his nap. She fumbled at the buttons of his shirt, all of a sudden desperate to fell him against her. She could not make her fingers work, the frustration of not being able to touch him building the longer his hands snaked up her legs. When he reached between her thighs she growled and ripped open his shirt wither her hands. He bought his head up from her chest at her sudden removal of his shirt.

"Don't' stop" she moaned as she pushed her hands against his undershirt and pulled it up from his pants. Finally, after intense effort she freed enough space to slip her hands underneath and feel his skin against her hands. He sighed and she traced her fingernails down his chest and ran her hands across his nipples. "Oh gosh" she breathed, "You don't feel old" she murmured as he tugged against her undergarments. She shifted her weight from side to side helping him slide them down and eventually off her body. He sat up on his knees before her and she bought her hands to his belt and began undoing it. He watched with stilled hands, gazing at her flushed face and her chest rising and falling in rapid breathless succession. He could not live without her. He needed her.

"Oh God." He cried, "Don't leave me Cora, please" she had managed to undo his belt and had begun to work on his buttons when her hands stilled.

"What? I'm not leaving you" she replied before she undid his button and began to remove his pants. He covered her hands with his stilling her movements and looked into her eyes.

"What?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm not leaving you, why would you think that?" she asked through ragged breaths. He wanted to have this conversation now? Of all times!

"But I thought, with everything, and you seemed" he stammered, his grip on her hands loosening. She took the opportunity to continue to pull away at his pants and smiled at him.

"I know you are sorry, I know you love me as much as I love you. If we never talk about it ever again and you love me as long as live then I will die a happy woman" she said. Robert could not believe his ears. She was going to stay. She was his. She loved him still and they would move on with their lives. He was suddenly so incredibly happy he thought his heart would burst.

"Cora ... "he began, but she covered her hand to his mouth and spoke, "Shhh." She said, "I'm sick of talking" Her eyes were sparkling and she had a delicious smirk on her face that spoke of better things than words. Needing no further encouragement he pushed her legs up and settled between her thighs.

"I love you Cora" he murmured as he bought his lips to her and entered her swiftly. He heard her gasp in pleasure at the initial contact and then lifted her legs up to wrap them around his waist. With the future ahead of them once more Robert paid his attention to the present, and showed his wife just how much he loved her , and just how long he would … and it was a very, very long time.