We rode to the cemetery in silence, both of us lost in our thoughts. I was nervous about going to my parent's graves. The last time, and only time, I had seen them was at their funeral and I wasn't even aware of that day too much. I know I didn't cry I was too angry at them for leaving me. Now though I wasn't angry and I didn't know what to expect.
I looked over at Derek as he drove. He had taken half the day off so we could go and see them. He stared blankly at the road and a look of distraught etched on his face. He was really a great guy and I'm not too upset that I never knew him really until then. I really wish I had gotten to know him under different circumstances.
"Derek thank you for everything." Derek turned his head and looked at me and smiled sadly.
"You're welcome." From then on we ride in complete silence.
Since I had told him I'd wanted to go and see my parent's graves Derek and I have finished getting my room together and we had even picked out a school for me to go to. Derek had wanted to get me all settled in so that after we go and visit I would have somewhere to come back too. At first I didn't get this logic then I understood. Whenever I went with Derek to work the members of his team were always nice and welcoming, sometimes too much but it was ok. My favourite member was Spencer. He was really interesting to talk to and whenever we spoke we never ran out of things to say. My other favourite would have to be Penelope she was just overall a great person. I could also tell there was something going on between her and Derek besides their constant flirting, even if they didn't know it yet.
We pulled into the cemetery and once parked neither of us moved. I could see my parent's graves and now I wasn't so sure I wanted to see them.
"Go on. I will wait here." I turned and looked at Derek.
"You can come with me if you want." Derek shook his head and motioned for me to go. Sighing I grabbed the flowers I had bought and left the comfort of the car. The walk to the graves felt slower than it really was. As I walked every memory I seemed to have with my parents came flooding back. Us going to Florida, me learning how to ride a bike, me going to work with dad, baking with mom, movie nights, our trip to England and their deaths. It all came back and before I even reached the graves tears had begun falling.
I fell to my knees once I at the graves and let all my tears fall. I felt guilty that I didn't cry at their funeral, that I was mad at them and not sad that they were gone. I felt horrible and all the tears I had been holding came in one giant rush. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and muttered 'I am sorry' over and over again. I didn't know what else to do.
Watching Makayla cry was hard. I had seen her cry before but not like that. She was in so much pain over their deaths and though she had been trying to be brave it didn't work when she got out of the car. I sat in silence as I watched her. She hugged herself and muttered constantly and no matter how much this hurt me I knew I shouldn't go out and comfort her, she would like it if I did and this was her time with her parents, her time to say goodbye.
I remember the funeral, I had stood beside Makayla and she didn't even cry she looked mad almost. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Her parents were gone and were leaving her with me a man she never knew and man she should have known. I don't blame her mother for anything because I knew she had a good reason but I knew Makayla blamed them both for leaving her. I've had a similar feeling before.
I sat and watched Makayla for an hour and a half. That was how long it took for her to stop crying and say goodbye. She walked back to the car her eyes red and face tearstained. She got in silently and stared straight ahead. I started the car not knowing what to say. It was a quiet ride home
