A/N: Thank you so, so, so much for the many reviews and follows and favorites I have received! You are awesome people. I'm glad you are enjoying it so far! I hope it stays entertaining! :)
Swinging open suddenly and with great force, the door to the apartment nearly came off its hinges. Loki took a surprised step back as Thor barreled through the doorframe and pulled him into a hug.
"It has been too long!"
"I'm not sure I'd say that." Loki croaked as he felt his joints crack.
"Come in, come in!" Thor yanked his brother into the apartment and Loki was somewhat shocked by the small living room he was standing in. It was nothing compared to anything Thor had had back in Asgard, but it looked cozy.
Jane darted past them, pulling a shoe onto her foot as she went. "Thor, where did you put Tova's squash?"
"I haven't seen it."
"I thought you were feeding her."
"I was, but there was a knock on the door and…"
"So where did her squash go?"
"I told you I haven't seen it."
"Then what were you feeding her?"
"The applesauce."
"Thor! You know I'm trying to incorporate more veggies in her diet!"
"Apologies, I did not see the squash in the refrigerator. I will search again." Thor headed off to a little kitchen and Loki raised an eyebrow at the chaotic nature of the area. He could hear Tova laughing from the kitchen and Jane was searching under every piece of paper on the coffee table for something while Thor rifled through the fridge.
"Oh! Hi Loki," Jane nodded as she pulled a paper out from the stack, scanned it, and put it back, "You haven't seen an acceptance speech anywhere around here, have you?"
"I can't say that I have. What is all the commotion about?"
"Ah-ha! Found it!" Jane held a scrap of paper high in the air, "I forgot I wrote on a Subway sandwich paper. I wonder if I have time to rewrite it somewhere less greasy."
"You are headed out?" He asked in confusion.
"I forgot you were coming today and I kind of have a thing that I need to - Thor, did you find the squash?"
"Not yet, the speech?"
"Found it! Sorry Loki, I was awarded a plaque for my study on inter-realm travel and there is a dinner I need to go to tonight. Do you mind watching Tova while we're out? The sitter hasn't called me back yet."
"I…"
"Great! I might call Darcy and have her check in to make sure you two are doing all right," The woman grabbed a pencil out of a potted plant and ripped off a piece of paper from a newspaper. She scribbled something on the paper and shoved it into his hands, "That's my parents' number, Pepper's number, my number, Darcy's number, and the number of the building we'll be at. Do you know who to call if there is an emergency?"
"You…?" Loki asked.
"No, I mean, like if someone gets seriously wounded or the house catches on fire or something. Do you know who to call?"
"My answer is unchanged."
"Okay, yeah, I'd like to know, but first you call 911. The landline is on the kitchen counter next to the toaster. You don't have to worry about feeding her because - Thor, have you found the squash yet?"
"Are you certain we have squash?"
"It should be in there. Did you check behind last night's leftovers?"
"I cannot locate it."
"Well, she should be fed by the time we go. I already gave her a bath and she has a fresh diaper at the moment. All you have to do is play with her for a little while and then put her to bed at eight. If Darcy comes it will be at seven thirty."
"Do you really think I should…?"
"You'll do great!" Jane stepped into the kitchen, reached into the fridge and quickly pulled out the squash. Thor stared in wonder.
"By Odin's beard, it was not there a moment ago."
"Just feed her please. I'm going to go look for my earrings. Don't forget Loki, see if he's had anything to eat yet."
Thor looked up at his brother as if he'd forgotten he'd come. "Would you care for some puréed squash?"
"Pass."
Jane and Thor had been gone for fifteen minutes and the whole time Loki had sat across from Tova's high chair and stared. The one year old stared back. This continued for five more minutes until she scrunched up her face and began screaming. Loki would never admit it, but the sudden weeping caused him to jump a foot in the air.
"What ails you?" He asked, inching closer to her. Fat tears streaked her reddening face and she glared at him, "How am I supposed to know what's wrong? You can't just start crying like that." He scolded.
Tova only wailed louder and hit her hand against the chair. She opened her mouth and shrieked. Loki rolled his eyes, but at the same time he hoped nothing was wrong with her. Babies cried, right? It's what they did. Perhaps there was no reason for it, she was just moody.
"Dow!" Erupted from her mouth, "Dow! Dow!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dow!"
"Are you actually attempting to communicate or is this nonsense?"
She sniffled a little and pointed at the floor. "Dow."
"So you want down. You should have said so from the start," He grumbled, attempting to lift her from the chair. She was held tight by straps across her lap, "What in the realms?"
"Dow!" Tova screamed again.
"I'm trying! You're fastened in place by something," Loki attempted to pull her out again but the straps held fast, "Fine then, it won't budge. What would you have me do?"
"Dow!"
"Shut up!" He growled, running a hand through his hair, "I'm thinking."
"Down now!"
"Expanding your vocabulary won't help the situation at all."
A pair of safety scissors glinted on the table and he quickly grabbed them. He carefully hacked away at the straps, avoiding the baby herself as well as he could. When the ribbons broke he triumphantly pulled her out of the chair and held her aloft.
"Dow!"
"All right already you irascible little thing." He placed her on the kitchen floor and was shocked at the speed at which she scuttled away from him. She raced into the living room on all fours and headed straight for a pile of shiny toys. Grabbing at a stuffed octopus, Tova watched him warily. She claimed her prize and immediately put one of the eight limbs into her mouth, gnawing on it.
"You are the strangest creature I've encountered."
"To-pus!" Tova exclaimed, holding her toy out for him to see.
"Octopus, yes, they are odd, but you are in a class all by yourself."
She muttered incoherently and continued to play with her stuffed animal. Loki sat on the couch and watch in fascination.
"Yo, you in here?" Darcy called from the front door. She gasped at the sight she saw before her, "Jane is gonna be so mad."
Loki shrugged. "Things got a little out of hand, but I'm sure we can hide the mess. If you don't tell I won't."
"How the heck are we going to hide this? We can't just put it in the trash can and hope no one notices!" She stepped further into the room and glared at the man before her, "What were you thinking?!"
"It's fine. We'll make up some excuse if we have to," His brow furrowed, "The red color might be harder to get out of the carpet."
"Red!" Tova agreed.
"Oh sweety, you are a mess! Come here." Darcy stepped over the puddle of red paint on the floor and scooped up the girl, who immediately put her paint covered hand on Darcy's white shirt.
"We were bored." Loki explained, getting up from the floor and wiping the green paint he'd been using onto a paper towel.
"She's one! She can't fingerpaint yet!" The woman snatched a packet of wet wipes from the kitchen and attempted to get the paint off of her, "Oh my gosh, she's going to need a bath with all this paint on her."
"You do that, I'll tidy up the… collateral damage." Loki gestured to the paint that was staining the carpet and various pieces of furniture.
"You know her bedtime is in half an hour, right? Why would you start painting so close to her bedtime? Now she's all wound up!"
"How was I to know it would put a rift in her schedule? I know nothing of infants!" He argued, throwing his hands in the air, "Perhaps if you'd gotten here earlier we could have prevented it."
"I was at work!"
"Everyone knows you are unemployed, Ms. Lewis. My guess is that you were on a date or some other frivolous venture." Loki sneered.
"What do you know?! It's been a year since you've seen any of us. I got a job a few months ago."
"Oh really? Then where do you work?"
"A computer store."
"You're lying."
"Why does it matter? Right now I need to give Tova a bath, not argue with the God of Annoyingness." Darcy stormed off to the bathroom and Loki heard her turn on the water. He heard her completing a few other tasks but all with anger. She was muttering the whole time.
Sighing, Loki began cleaning up the paint splatters that were spread across the room. When he was finished Darcy and a freshly cleaned Tova came out of the bathroom. Darcy was covered in water and Tova was wrapped in a towel.
"Sorry I yelled at you." The young woman grunted.
"Apology accepted." Loki nodded, taking the baby from her. He brushed past her and took Tova into her bedroom. Setting the girl into a crib, he placed her plush octopus next to her and smiled fondly. She was so sweet and innocent he couldn't help but grin.
"Goodnight Tova!" Darcy whispered loudly from the doorway.
Caught being affectionate, Loki quickly straightened and strode briskly out of the room, flicking the light off as he went. Out of the room, he wandered to the kitchen and began looking through the fridge for something to eat. Jars of baby food were everywhere amongst tupperware and cartons of milk.
"So how long are you sticking around?" Darcy asked, leaning against the counter.
"Until Heimdall pulls me back, I suppose." He grunted, grabbed a plastic container, and pulled off the lid to reveal chicken. He sniffed it and nodded, closing the fridge.
"You don't have a say in it? That sucks for you."
Loki ignored her and found a fork. He sat down, not bothering to reheat the chicken. He began shoveling the food into his mouth so he would have an excuse not to converse. Unfortunately, Darcy could speak enough for the two of them.
"Tova's learned a lot of stuff over the past year. You'll see her try to walk - so cute! And sometime we'll have to show you how she talks to Thor. She always tries to mimick him. One time she even said 'din's bird', ya know, like how Thor always says 'Odin's beard'? I think out of her parents she likes Jane better, but she is always impressed when her dad comes flying through the window. I mean, who wouldn't be proud to have a dad that flies? She likes me okay since I'm always here, but I think one of her favorite people is Cap. Oh! And her best friend is Cole, of course. When they are together they do the cutest things. Like, this one time-"
"Does your mouth ever cease moving?" Loki asked, tiredly running his hand through his hair, "Or does it just go until someone knocks you out?"
"Hey! Rude, dude!" She pouted, "Don't you care about what your niece has been up to since you last saw her?"
"Not particularly."
"I can't believe they chose you as her guardian. I know I'm not a warrior, but I've been learning kung-fu and with my taser I think I could do a pretty decent job. Besides, I never tried to take over the world."
Loki slammed his fist on the table. "Enough!" He hissed, "If all you intend to do is pester me then you can leave. I am more than qualified to care for a sleeping infant."
"Touchy!" Darcy snorted, "Better not hit the table like that again or you'll wake Tova up."
Loki tightened his grip on the fork in his hand. He knew he couldn't kill her, but removing someone's tongue didn't kill them. Thor probably wouldn't be pleased, but Loki swore if the girl mentioned his attack on New York one more time he would cut out her tongue with a fork and then make her eat it.
"Look, I can tell you're about to explode. I'll just go watch some TV," She put her hands up peacefully and sat down on the couch, "Hey look at this! They are playing a documentary on the Battle of New York! What a coincidence!"
Loki snapped the metal fork in half.
"We're home." Jane whispered as she and Thor stepped into the apartment. She saw Darcy on the couch, munching some popcorn. The young woman continued to flip the channels around as she ate. Loki was in the kitchen, attempting to read a book. Irritation was plain on his face and he kept shooting glares at Darcy.
"Welcome back. Tova's in bed."
"Thanks, Darcy," Jane nodded, "How was she?"
"Tova behaved beautifully," Loki commented, "It was the other female in the house that gave problems."
Darcy shrugged, grabbed her jacket and popped up. She gave Jane a quick hug, poked Thor's bicep, and left. Loki scowled after her.
"If she will appear frequently during my time spent here I will find other lodgings."
"What did you say to her?" Thor asked skeptically.
"Me? Why would it be anything I said?"
"Because I know how you are, brother. Did you threaten her?"
"Only in my thoughts. I promise I said nothing to upset her. She and I are simply not compatible." Loki shrugged.
"It's fine. I'm sure Darcy will stay away while you're here." Jane said, taking off her heeled shoes and walking toward Tova's room to check on the child.
"I apologize for the hasty exit when you first arrived," Thor stated, sitting down at the table next to his brother, "How have you been this past year? Has Father let you off probation?"
"I have been…" He searched for the right word. He couldn't flat out tell his brother that he was lonely, but that's how he'd felt for the past twelve months. No one in Asgard liked him, with the exception of Frigga, and the ones who didn't care about what he'd done were irksome people, "Solitary. I'm still on probation and not allowed to leave the palace."
"Is there any idea of when you will gain more privileges?"
"It could be centuries, Thor. If Odin let's me off too easily then the people will think he is showing favoritism because I am his… I was a prince."
"At least he allowed you this visit. We shall make the most of it."
"What exactly are we supposed to be doing?"
Thor smiled and looked fondly toward his daughter's room. "You are her Guardian. I want you to get to know her."
Loki couldn't help but smile a little as well. If that was all this visit entailed then he figured he could even put up with Darcy. He was very much looking forward to spending time with his niece.
