Author's note: Keep the reviews coming and I'll keep the updates constant.
Cape Cod, MA, Summer 5 Years Ago
Santana blinked. She was fully aware of the body pressed against hers. What she wasn't aware of was how it had gotten to the point where Brittany was completely naked. She looked under the covers at herself and wondered how exactly Brittany was unclothed while she remained fully so. She racked her brain trying to remember what happened.
The first thing that she remembered was that staying "a few days" had somehow turned into "staying two weeks." They were well on their 12th day in Cape Cod. How Santana had let it go on for so long, she wasn't sure either. She remembered going into town everyday and exploring the street shops and visiting the pier. She remembered how one time Brittany clambered onto a wall and forgot how to come down. There were also trips to Boston and Cambridge and wandering for hours at a time.
She recalled those event filled days and the quiet nights as they drove back to the house. Brittany was usually exhausted by the end of the day and would fall asleep in the car. Santana liked the drive home. When they got home, Santana usually gently shook Brittany awake and the blond would mumble something incoherent, march upstairs and fall asleep curled up on Santana.
But somehow the night previous was different. She tried to remember what had happened but only hazy images came to mind. Katie and Trisha had gone off to a friend's baby shower, leaving the two girls to themselves for a night. Like good teenagers, they snuck into the liquor cabinet and stole two bottles of wine.
Santana cooked that night but Brittany helped by cutting up vegetables for the side dish. The blond kept stealing glances over at Santana's concentrated face. While she was doing that, she forgot that she was still cutting things and nicked her hand.
"OW!" She yelped. Santana looked over to see Brittany clamping her mouth over the cut.
"B!" She exclaimed, putting the lid on the pan and rushing over.
"I'm ok." Brittany reassured, using her other hand to rummage through the drawers looking for bandaids. When she found one, Santana took it and put it on.
"Be careful, ok?" Santana said.
"Do I get a kiss?" Brittany asked hopefully.
"I am not rewarding clumsy behavior." Santana retorted, taking over the task of cutting the onion. Brittany smiled. This was definitely something she could get used to. She watched Santana carefully cut the onion into small chunks. The house was empty except for them, they were cooking dinner together and it was almost like they were...
Brittany shook her head and instead wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and pressed herself against the brunette's back.
"B!" Santana shouted in surprised. "Sharp implement!"
"This is nice, isn't it?" Brittany asked.
"What is?"
"This. You cooking, us having the house together. I like it."
"Yeah, yeah. B, knife!" Brittany let go. Santana rolled her eyes.
"You've been really touchy-feely lately. Are you hormonal?" Santana demanded. Brittany bit her lip. Her heart was pounding and she opened her mouth to say those three words.
"San, I..." Suddenly the smell of burning filled the room.
"Shit!" Santana cursed, running over to the fish still sitting in the frying pan. Brittany frowned and sat down at the table. It seemed like the world was conspiring against her. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to get the chance again.
The two ate their dinner on the couch and shared two bottles of wine. They sat watching old movies when they finished eating and with each glass, got more cuddly. By the end of the second bottle, Santana was spooning Brittany.
Brittany rolled over and topped a surprised Santana. She pressed her lips against the other girl's and whispered, "I'm drunk." Santana was equally intoxicated so she eagerly accepted the kiss. The two made out on the couch for a while, tasting the alcohol on the other's tongue. This went on for several minutes before Santana growled and flipped them. She sucked on Brittany's neck, leaving unmistakable marks on her pale skin. Brittany let out a small gasp when Santana suddenly decided that now was not the time for clothes.
"San..." Brittany whispered urgently. Santana looked at her. "Not here." The brunette cocked an eyebrow. Contrary to most people's belief (namely Puck), the two of them had only ever had sex four times. The first time happened during a sleepover and it had magically progressed from making out to that point. The second time happened at camp after their freshman year and the third and fourth were instances when Santana went over to Brittany's house specifically for that purpose. Brittany had been all too eager all four times.
"You don't want to?" Santana asked, confused.
"Not on my aunt's couch!" Brittany clarified. Santana grabbed Brittany's shirt and dragged her upstairs. The minute they entered the guest bedroom, Santana was practically ripping the clothes off of her. Brittany let her do whatever she wanted. Santana threw Brittany back onto the bed and straddled her. They kissed fiercely and Santana bit down on Brittany's lip. When Santana reached down under Brittany's underwear and touched her gently, Brittany felt the words escape her mouth before she could rein them in.
"I love you." She whispered. Santana froze, her eyes searching Brittany's face.
"What?" She demanded. Brittany was scared, she didn't mean to say that, not now. She pulled her into another kiss.
"I'm drunk." She said against Santana's lips. "I'm drunk, I love you and I need you to move your hand, please." Santana's brain couldn't comprehend the "l" words and so she just shut off all higher thought processes and concentrated on making Brittany scream.
The following morning was a completely different story, however. Santana's hung over brain could once again compute the meaning of the words. When she strung the words "I", "love", and "you" together, her heart dropped.
This was exactly what she dreaded. She figured something was up with Brittany the past week but refused to believe that it was what she thought it was. There was no denying what happened and what was said last night, however. She had tried to avoid this. This was precisely why she normally tried to make light of their kisses or talked about boys all the time. She didn't want Brittany to fall in love with her. Before they first kissed, Santana had these visions of marrying rich, living comfortably and getting her dream job. This image fell apart the instant their lips touched. Suddenly all the power, money and comfort was replaced by crazy, stupid ideas of following Brittany to the end of the world.
For Santana, that notion of throwing caution to the wind was unacceptable and frightening. Control was a must in Santana's life and love was the very apex of losing control. So to protect herself and Brittany from making equally bad decisions, she tried to ignore and dissuade anything more than friends with benefits.
It had to be this place, Santana thought. The ocean is getting to me. It's being around Brittany's aunts. It had to be that because, heaven forbid, they were happy and that was a rarity in Santana's mind.
Santana lifted Brittany up and placed her on the pillow. Even though she was being careful, Brittany stirred and woke up.
"San?" She mumbled, sitting up.
"Go back to sleep, Brittany." Santana said.
"Mm, I want breakfast." She looked at the clock. It was 10:00. She scooted out of bed and started pulling the covers back into place. Santana wanted to confront her, to ask if it was simply a drunk exclamation. She stood in the doorway while Brittany got dressed. Brittany smiled at Santana and the brunette found her heart start to ache in an all too dangerous way.
She rolls up her socks...
God, she's beautiful.
Shit.
"I'll get breakfast started, ok?" Santana hastily exited the room. She went downstairs and started scrambling eggs. She jumped when Brittany's arms encircled her waist and the blond pressed her lips against the back of Santana's neck, making the hairs stand up on end.
"Stop that, B." Santana said. Brittany pulled away.
"What's wrong, San?"
"Nothing, just stop." Brittany folded her arms and clenched her teeth.
"Is this about last night? Is this about what I said?"
"B, you were drunk. You didn't mean it." Santana's words stung her harshly and she physically flinched.
"San..."
"We're leaving today." Santana said.
"What?"
"Cheerleading camp starts in three days. We've stayed here way too long." Santana replied.
"San, that's not fair."
"B, I only promised to stay here a few days, we've been here for nearly two weeks!" She snapped. The front door opened.
"We're home!" Katie said. "Something smells good." When she walked in, she instantly found the atmosphere tense.
"Everything ok?" Trisha walked in.
"Yeah. Um...we kinda forgot that we had cheerleading camp in three days." Brittany replied bitterly.
"Wait, what?" Katie stared at the two of them. What the hell had transpired while they were gone?
"Sorry, Aunt K, Aunt T. We've got to go home." Brittany turned on her heel and went upstairs. Katie followed her while Trisha sat down and glared at Santana. Santana scooped out the eggs and started eating even though she felt sick to her stomach.
"Santana." It was one of the few times Trisha had directly addressed her. "Let's get this straight, ok?"
"Poor choice of words." Santana said curtly.
"There are two blonds in this world that mean everything to me. You hurt either of them and you'll regret it." Santana said nothing.
Katie chased Brittany up the stairs where Brittany began flinging clothes into her dufflebags.
"What's going on? Why are you suddenly leaving?"
"Cheerleading camp." Brittany replied.
"What happened?" Katie grabbed her arm. Brittany all but dove into her embrace.
"I told her." She mumbled.
"Oh B..." Katie sighed.
"And K, I know she loves me. Why can't she just accept it?" Brittany asked.
"She's scared, baby, it's obvious."
"But I'm not scary!" Brittany insisted..
"The situation is, B. Give it time." Brittany threw her hands into the air.
"I don't want to. I don't want to wait anymore." Brittany looked at the duck sitting near Santana's bag. She wondered why she had gone through all the trouble in the first place.
As soon as Brittany was done packing, Santana went upstairs to gather her things. By three, the two were ready to go.
"Come visit again." Katie said, giving Brittany a big hug. When Trisha said good by, she added quietly, "without the loser." Katie gave Santana a hug too.
"You too, you hear? Any friend of Baby B's is welcome here." Trisha rolled her eyes.
Santana found the silence unbearable. Brittany refused to look at her or say anything so Santana mostly focused on driving. They raced the sun but at around eight, it started to get dark. They had driven half way back home and Santana was getting sick and tired of the silence.
"Damn it, B, say something!" Santana snapped but Brittany ignored her. "I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry that it had to be like this but I just can't love you."
"Can't?" Brittany's voice was filled with anger.
"Yes, B, can't." Brittany whirled on her.
"I love you!" She shouted. "And I know you feel the same! Why do you always have to play pretend? You pretend to be mean, you pretend to like boys and you pretend that we're just friends. I'm really, really sick of playing."
"Brittany, you have no idea..."
"No, I don't. I'm sorry I'm so stupid." Santana opened her mouth to shout back when the car made a popping noise. Black smoke streamed from the hood of the car. Slowly but surely, the car came to a stop on the side of the road.
