A/N:
Read, Review, Enjoy.
-Flame
Confession time.
I have kissed a lot of people in my day. Beck, Johnny Calls, Harry Trush, hell, I even kissed Andre one time a few years ago. Not just guys, either. I've been around. I've partied, and tongued a few girls a time or two.
None of them prepared me for the kissing ability of Tori Vega, though.
God, I can't even begin to describe just how perfect of a kisser she was. Forceful, hungry, yet sweet, with a softness that Beck just didn't have.
Beck tasted like coffee. Tori tasted like sugar, with a hint of spice that I couldn't place. And I love coffee, but this was just better, somehow.
And that scared me.
I wasn't supposed to like Tori. Hell, I wasn't supposed to like anyone other than Beck.
So why the fuck was I still kissing her?
I tore myself away from her, stumbling into the wall. "Fuck." I pressed my index and middle fingers to my lips, feeling the swollen heat that remained. My heart was racing, pounding against my chest in a pattern of thudding pain that made me gasp for breath. "Oh, fuck."
"Jade?" Tori's voice was barely above a whisper, hardly loud enough for me to hear. I didn't make indication that I heard her. I couldn't deal with it. Couldn't deal with her. Not after that. Not after she had just done that.
"Jade, you're scaring me." I could hear her move closer, the wood of her floor creaking underneath her footsteps.
Then her hand was on my shoulder, and her fingers were pulling my chin up, gently forcing me to look at her. "Are you okay?"
"Let go of me, Vega." I demanded, the familiar hard edge entering my voice. I thought better of it, then added, in a softer tone, "Please?"
Her eyes widened at my plea, and her hands fell to her side as she nodded. She moved out of my way as I made my way to her bed, slowly sitting down on top of the comforter, swinging my legs so my feet dangled off the end, lying down, staring at the ceiling. My head rested on a pillow
Her pillow
and I could her weight rest on the other side of the bed, lying down next to me.
It was a long time before I spoke, and when I did, I tried desperately to choose my words carefully. "This is wrong."
Silence for a moment. I was expecting a gasp, or a response, or something but all I got was silence. I turned my head so I was looking at her, concerned when I saw her just staring up at the ceiling, arms crossed tight across her chest. I think she could sense my staring, because she finally spoke. "I know."
That was certainly not the reply I was expecting. It hit me in the chest, sinking into my heart, just adding to the ache that was already there. "You know?"
"Of course I do. It is wrong. You're dating Beck. I just helped you cheat on him." She laughed, the sound utterly without humor. "I'm a homewrecker."
That was also not the response I expected. "Wait, so you just kissed me, Jade West…a girl, and you're focused on the fact that in doing so, you helped me cheat on my boyfriend?" I shook my head in awe. "That's just fucked up, Vega."
"Why?" She looked over at me. "I've never had a problem with liking girls. And I like you. Why should that bother me?"
"Well, because…." I paused, thinking it over. "Because I'm horrible to you? And…you've never given any indication that you were gay, and…."
"Neither have you. And yet, here we are."
That certainly shut me up for a moment. Just for a moment. "Vega, I…"
"No." she looked away from me for a moment, and sighed, her chest falling as the air escaped past her lips. "Jade, I really like you. I think that you like me, too." She looked over at me for confirmation. I nodded, and then she turned back away. "But, I can't do this. I can't do this to Beck. And I'm not sure how you're able to, either."
"I'm not." I reached my hand out tentatively, about to take her hand in mine, but hesitated and drew it back after another moment. "I feel horrible about doing this. So, so incredibly horrible. But, I feel worse if I don't."
"That doesn't..." she began, but I interrupted before she could go on.
"Vega, the other night, I was fucking Beck." I heard her take a sharp intake of breath, and couldn't help but smile. Good ole virgin Vega. I waited a moment before continuing, wiping the smile from my face. "I was fucking Beck, and I didn't want to, but I did because I thought that if I could do that, then maybe I could forget about you. But I couldn't. The entire time, I was wishing that it was you who was there. Not Beck. Not anyone else. You." I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "And that scared me so much. It still does. I mean, for fuck's sake, we're not even friends!"
"We…we're not friends?" I heard her whisper next to me, and for the first time, I realized just how much such a simple statement could hurt someone. The hurt in her voice was controlled, nothing more than a slight crack, but it was still there nonetheless.
"I…I don't know." I looked over at her, and found that she was looking at me too. "Are we?"
"I really thought that we were. I mean, aren't we?" her eyes were becoming shinier, and I had to glance away. I couldn't deal with crying.
"I guess so…but, the point is, we're constantly fighting and making it out to seem that we hate each other. And I know that I'm the worst of us, and I've treated you like utter garbage, but you've done things too, and I don't know how all of that led up to this, but I hate it, and don't know what to do, but I don't want to have to do it without you!" I hadn't realized that my voice had risen, so when I heard just how loud I was being, I tried to bring it down a notch. "But I will if I have to, and I will go back to Beck and act like nothing ever happened .But, I don't want to."
Another moment of deafening silence. I looked back at her when I felt the bed shift, and found her on her side, staring at me. She was propped up on her elbow, and her eyes were dry once again. "I don't want you to do that, either." She said after another minute, her words slow and careful. "I really don't. But I don't want to hurt Beck, either."
"Neither do I. But…."
"You don't want to break up with him, either?" she finished for me. She waited for me to nod before continuing. "I can get that. He's your rock, right? But, where does that leave us?"
"It leaves us right here, right now." I twisted so I was on my side as well, with my hand on the pillow next to my face. "He doesn't need to know."
"You would really do that?"
"Well, what else do you propose we do? Tell Beck that you're dumping him to fuck around with me, the girl who you've made no qualms about expressing your dislike for? Or perhaps pretending to keep dating him, but going out with me on the side?" the sarcasm in her tone was incredible. It was so unlike her; so unlike the innocent Tori Vega that was nothing but sweetness and sugar. For some ungodly reason, this side of her was making me even more turned on. And then her last idea actually hit home, and I sat up quickly.
"Yes."
She looked at me, surprised and more than a bit confused. "What?"
"Yes. Yes, that is precisely what we should do. I'll pretend to keep dating Beck, but you and I will really be going out."
Tori just stared at me, her eyes never leaving mine. "You're being serious."
I nodded. "Well, why the hell not?"
"Well, there's the whole "breaking the heart of your boyfriend" thing." She let that thought linger before going on. "Oh! And then there's the whole, pretending to date him thing! You really think he'll go for that?"
I just smiled, and nodded. "Yes. I mean, seriously, if anything, he might think it's hot." Inside, I was praying that I wasn't just spouting bullshit, because I could very easily be wrong. But, I wasn't about to let her know that.
"Well, then we should probably go ask him…" she swung her legs off the bed, and stood up. I followed, stepping in front of her before she could open up her bedroom door.
Before she could say anything else, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, pressing my lips to hers, wanting to taste her one last time before we left. She was surprised, but I could feel her lips move against mine in return, almost desperate.
Then we parted, looked at each other for a moment, then left without another word, the severity of the situation beginning to sink in.
