Chapter 7
Dear notebook,
Well, it has been a busy past few days. A lot has happened and Asriel said I should finally write in this notebook while he gets ready so I decided to start with whatever this is. I am just going to write whatever is on my mind.
Firstly, things are not so bad if I am allowed to say so. I am not exactly happy with everything, but is there a place that is perfect? This place solves a lot of problems, but brings new ones. I have yet to leave the house either, but me and Asriel have plans today. He wanted to show me some place called Waterfall. He says it is his favorite place to go.
Oh ya, Asgore decided to make a speech and announce me so I can finally leave the house. It was….embarrassing to be apart of. He got me in front of this large crowd of monsters and talked about my arrival. The monsters seemed more concerned for him than me. They were afraid I had hurt him and was sent to kill him. He explained that I just got lost and just ended up falling into the underground. That is all he explained, he didn't say anything about my parents or my past life. He announced me becoming part of the royal family and as such should be treated as such. I didn't care to much for this. I didn't really deserve to be royalty. In his speech he said I gave him hope. Hope that not all humans were killers. Hope for a future with humans and monsters living together. I don't really like being the hope of humans and monsters. That is….a lot of pressure I didn't ask for when I fell down. I just wish I could make the world the way I want it. Life doesn't work like that though. Sadly, humans will never change. They will always be evil and selfish creatures. They will always care only for themselves. Even I am and cannot fight who I am. A human.
I seen Gerson again! He talked to me and asked me a bunch of questions. If I was happy? Why I wasn't. What would make me happy? It made me think about a lot of things and made me feel better and optimistic. He told me I was looking better, but I still had some fighting to do. I didn't really understand what he ment. He said he got a letter from Dr. Gaster. He said he was preparing somethings and would see me shortly. Asgore asked Gerson "What things" and Gerson just laughed it off saying "Do we ever know what that boy will do?" Asgore seemed fine with this response.
I kinda want to meet Gaster. He seems so mysterious and smart. He must have so many cool things he could show me and he has two sons so hopefully I could meet them too! I heard one of them is worst than Asriel when it comes to being nice though.
Toriel has been getting on my nerves worst than Asriel lately, but I know they are just trying to look out for me. Toriel says my manners are "awful" and I need to learn how to be more respectful. She has been cutting me off mid sentence to correct me and forcing me to say "yes ma'am no ma'am yes sir no sir." She is probably right, but it doesn't make it less frustrating. She is silly though. She is always trying to make some silly pun whenever she can. It can get annoying, but every once in a while she catches you off guard and makes you smile. That has turned into a game. Making me smile. They try everything to get to see me smile and feel accomplished when they do.
The things they teach me and the things my real parents teach me are much different. My parents were the "you are better than everyone else and they should treat you this way," where as the Dreemurrs are more of "Everyone is special and deserves the same level of respect." Kind of ironic isn't it? Royalty of a kingdom is more humble than a household of a kingdom? Weird, but shows you how different humans and monsters are.
I started calling Asgore and Toriel "Mom" and "Dad". It caught them off guard, but they seemed to like it. I mean, they are taking care of me, so why shouldn't I call them what they are acting like?
Things are looking a lot brighter in the deep dark underground than it has ever been on the surface, but there is a feeling I just can't shake. I am going to die not accomplishing anything. I want to give something back to these monsters because they deserve it. They deserve so much more than the underground. I have never been filled with so much determination to do anything. I want to help them be happy.
I still think about suicide. Just not as often. No matter how happy I feel, I always have the same thoughts. The "I can't" thoughts. I'll never amount to anything and I won't be able to live up to the hopes and dreams of everyone. Well, Asriel is wanting to go, so hopefully I can write in you some more. This does make me feel better.
Signed, Chara Dreemurr
