NO ONE GETS THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT SCARS

CHAPTER 7

The Next Day

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Gibbs and Abby were pacing around in the doorway of the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to finish her morning rituals with Mandie. Gibbs saw the nurse finally leaving, but the look on her face concerned him. She looked worried. "Stay here," he murmured to Abby and walked over to the nurse. "Natalie?"

The young woman jumped. "Oh, Agent Gibbs, you startled me."

Gibbs smiled to put the young woman at ease. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help but notice that you seem worried about something. Is there something wrong with Mandie?"

Natalie wasn't sure what to do. She should report this to the duty nurse, but Agent Gibbs is her Next of Kin on record…..she sighed. "I'm not sure what to do, Agent Gibbs," she began anxiously. "I was changing Mandie's bandages, and…."

Raising an eyebrow, Gibbs asked, "Is there a problem with some of her sutures?"

"No, not the sutures, those are healing nicely. It's, um….it's the…brand…..on her thigh." When the agent just stared at her, she continued, "well, I was changing the dressing, and Mandie noticed that this wasn't a cut, like all the others. She, um, asked what it was. And I didn't know what to say…..I know she doesn't know about …that….yet, but I hate leaving her worried about it….."

Sighing, Gibbs rubbed his eyes. "Ok, thank you for telling me, Natalie. I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure? ….. Of course you are. Thank you, Agent Gibbs." She scurried away to her next patient.

While Gibbs was talking to the nurse, Tony had arrived. He'd gone home to nap and grab a shower. He stepped up to Abby. "What's going on?"

Abby's face was scrunched up in suspicion. "I don't know. Nurse Natalie came out of Mandie's room looking like something was wrong. Gibbs made me stay here."

Gibbs walked over to his "kids" with a lot on his mind. They were going to have to tell Mandie what really happened to her, and he knew Abby, especially, was going to get emotional and try to talk him out of it. But it had to be done. He was the dad, what he says, goes. 'Keep telling yourself that, Jethro,' he said to himself, trying to prepare for the argument to come.

Tony put an arm around Abby's shoulders, but he wasn't sure if it was to support her or to keep her under control for Gibbs. "What's up, boss? What's with the nurse?"

The elder agent sighed. He wasn't going to sugar-coat it. "We've got to tell Mandie what happened." He got the expected outburst from Abby, and patiently waited her out.

"Why now, boss? Thought we were going to wait for the psych-"

"Mandie saw the brand on her thigh while the nurse was changing her bandages, noticed it was different than all the other cuts, asked what it was. She started to panic when the nurse wouldn't tell her."

Abby was worried. "But Gibbs! She's having a hard enough time accepting she was kidnapped - think what knowing about the Monster Marine will do to her!"

Gibbs sighed. "We don't have a choice, Abbs. I'd rather her hear it from us, rather than someone else, and the longer we wait, the better the chances that someone lets it slip. Balboa still has to interview her - who would you rather Mandie hear it from - you and me, or Balboa?"

"Ohhhhh, I guess you're right." Abby pouted. "But I just want it on the record that I think this is a bad idea."

Nodding seriously, Gibbs stepped aside for Abby to precede him to Mandie's room. "Duly noted." He rolled his eyes at Tony, who just smiled and followed Abby into their friend's room.

N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S* ** N*C*I*S*

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Mandie Sewell's Room

The nurse was right, Gibbs mused, as Mandie started pelting them with questions the moment they entered the room.

"What's going on, Gibbs? Why is that thing on my leg different? Why won't anyone tell me anything?" Tears streamed down her face. She pulled the sheet off her thigh and pushed her hospital gown up enough for them all to see the brand - she'd taken off the dressing over it. "That's not a tattoo, I've seen all stages of Abby's tatts, and none of them ever looked like this. It feels different, too…what's happening to me? Why can't Tony look at it? What happened to me, Gibbs? "

When Mandie had pulled aside the sheet and gown, and Tony had gotten a look at that brand on her thigh….he sucked in a breath and had to look away. Bad enough seeing it in photos of dead girls he didn't know. But to see it on someone alive, someone he was close to…. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to hit something. A hand slipping into his startled him, and he looked down to see that Abby had taken his hand. Whether to give him comfort or herself - well, he guessed it didn't really matter. He gave her hand a small squeeze, and was reassured when she squeezed back.

Gibbs pulled his chair closer to Mandie's bed and reached for her hand, kissing the back of it. "You're safe now, Mandie. That's the important thing. You're safe."

Mandie could feel it getting more and more difficult to breathe. No one said you were safe unless you hadn't been before. She was so tired of crying, of being scared….

"What do you remember, about what happened to you, Mandie? Can you tell me? Deep breaths, now….good…now let it out….. There you go…just breathe, nice and slow like that…atta' girl. Now, start from the moment you opened the door. Did he push his way in?"

Trying to get ahold of herself, Mandie took some deep breaths, trying to get her panic under control. She had to do this, had to show them she was a big girl, that she could handle it. She sighed. "No, not at first. I said something about him not being Po, the delivery boy I was expecting from the restaurant. He didn't say anything at first. Just stared at me, like he was memorizing me or something." She wiped her eyes. "I was getting this real hinky feeling, so I started to shut the door. That's when he pushed his way in." Her voice trembled on the last couple of words. "I asked him what he thought he was doing, tried to block him, but he just knocked me right down to the ground. He shut the door, and um…." she sniffled, feeling the tears start again. "…Um, he didn't go further into the apartment, just stood over me, staring….I knew he was going to hurt me, I could see it in his eyes." She started speaking faster as the tears came. "He never said a word, just stared down at me, and I was just waiting for him to do it - whatever he was going to do…I think I even said that, to 'just do it, already,' or something like that…I don't know, I'm not sure….when he reached down, I thought, 'this is it.' I shut my eyes, screamed….but he just grabbed me by the front of my shirt and hauled me off the floor. H-he dragged me to the -the door, and said that-that if I made any n-noise, he'd-he'd-he'd kill m-me! I wanted to scream, I did, Gibbs! But I didn't….I didn't do anything, just like he t-told me to…..I'm sorry! I should have yelled, should have screamed…!"

Gibbs brushed the hair out of her eyes gently. "Nah, you did the right thing. He said he'd kill you, and you had no reason not to believe him. It's ok, Mandie. What else do you remember?"

She sobbed for a minute, stunned that this man - whom she held in highest regard - told her she'd done the right thing in doing nothing. And then Abby came and sat on the other side of her bed, grasping her hand. Mandie clung to it like a lifeline. And Tony….she didn't have any brothers of her own, so she relished the fact that he seemed to have adopted her as his little sister, much like he did Abby. He came and sat next to Abby, up near her head, running his fingers through her hair, letting Mandie know he was there for her. Her triangle of protection was complete. Mandie was kind of embarrassed, remembering her almost nakedness when Tony found her. "I…I'm not sure…just fla-flashes, really. He…he left me alone for a while, at first. Wh-when he came back, he, um, told…told me….he'd watched m-me…at the cl-club, and, and the way I w-was acting with 'those guys' in, in my group made, made him s-sick. An-and, and when someone from outsi-side my circle want-wanted to dance with me, I called, called my little b-b-boyfr-friends in to, to, to s-save me."

Gibbs did his best to keep his anger in check - he knew that Mandie would think it was directed at her. Still gripping her hand, he put his other hand on her head, like a parent testing for a fever. "Is that when he raped you, Mandie?" He'd expected an explosion of tears, was prepared for that reaction. What he wasn't prepared for was Mandie closing her eyes and nodding her head, tears silently rolling down her face. She thought he was disappointed in her. He looked across the bed to Abby, who also had silent tears tracking down her cheeks. Looking over at Tony, Gibbs saw the younger man's forehead was resting on the top of Mandie's head, eyes closed, fighting tears.

Mandie brought a white-bandaged wrist up to wipe her nose, and sniffled. "He sm-smacked me across the face….s-said that, that," the tears began in earnest again. "He said that, um, that there was no one ar-around t-to s-s-save me n-now…!"

Brushing a tear off her cheek, Gibbs asked her another important question. "When did he start cutting you?"

"I, I'm not s-sure. Everything just all runs together after that….I kn-know he got my leg wh-when I tried to r-run away-ay. And once, someth-thing I said m-made him m-mad, and he just st-started , started slicing m-me. He-e slashed down my, my f-face, said, said, see if, if my b-boyfriend-s would save, save me when I, I, I was-wasn't p-pr-pretty an-anym-more!" She didn't even feel Tony's kiss to her head, and she certainly didn't believe Gibbs - father figure or not - when he said it was ok. It would never be ok again. "Gi-Gibbs," she hiccupped. "What, what is that, that…that thing on my leg?"

Gibbs searched for the right words to explain. He switched hands holding hers, the other traced the area around the brand, barely touching. "You're right, that's not a tattoo. It's…a brand. And…we've…seen it before."

Mandie looked at Gibbs, confused, then to Abby and Tony. "What…what do y-you mean, you've s-seen it be-before? Where? Where did you s-see it?"

Gibbs took a deep breath, thinking how much he hated to do this. He couldn't look at Tony or Abby - their grief would make this tough Marine give in and not say anything. "We…" he stopped, took another deep breath, cleared his throat. "We've… seen it on a case."

"A case? Like, an NCIS case?" Mandie was confused. "He…he's done this….be-before?" She watched Gibbs nod silently. "S-ssso you know, know who it is?" Gibbs shook his head. "Wh-what about the other….other wom-woman? Couldn't she, she hel-help you?" Mandie felt tears on her hand, and looked over to see Abby's head bent over, her tears falling on her hand. Looking at Tony, she could see he was trying not to cry as he stroked her hair. "What?"

"No, Mandie, she…they couldn't help us."

Mandie was confused. "They? What….h-he's…how, how many?"

"Mandie, honey, that's not…."

She wouldn't be put off. "How…m-many, Gibbs?" When the agent just shook his head, she turned to the other two. "Tony?…..Abby?….Abby, pl-please…"

Abby raised her head slowly, looking Mandie in the eye for a quick moment. This was her best friend since kindergarten….as good as her sister. She knew she couldn't lie to her. She wiped her nose, then cleared her throat. "N-n-nine," she whispered, looking back down.

"N-nine? Nine w-women? Oh my God!" Mandie started to hyperventilate. "He's…he's…nine other women? S-so, so, some-someone, one of them, won't they he-help you? There's got, got to be something…. He can't…nine others…."

"It's not that they won't help us, honey…..they…they can't…. help us…."

She hoped she was reading Gibbs' expression wrong. "They're, they're .ok, right?"

Gibbs kissed Mandie's forehead. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart…."

"No! No! I don't wan-want to h-hear 'I'm s-sorry'! I w-want to hear they're, they're ok! Tell m-me they're ok, Gibbs!" Tears choked her. "Tell me th-they're ok, please tell me they're o-ok!" Gibbs picked her up as gently as he dared and held her to his chest, murmuring how sorry he was as she soaked his shirt with her tears. "A-all of them? How…how? One of them must….all of them can't be…." Just looking at her friends' faces, she knew they were telling the truth. "Noooooo!" she sobbed. "Why th-them, and n-not m-me?" She wanted to strike out at Gibbs, hit him with her fists, but she couldn't move that well with all the bruises, stitches, and swelling. "Why didn't I die, too?"

Gently, Gibbs sat Mandie up so he could look into her eyes. "I need you to listen to me," he growled softly. "I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again, you hear me?" He gave her the Gibbs Stare. "You're here because you're supposed to be. You didn't die because we need you, Mandie."

Mandie wiped her face and cheeks the best she could. "But I…I can't help…I can't help you f-find him, I don't re-re-remember anything imp-portant…."

Gibbs was crushed - as were Abby and Tony - that Mandie thought they needed her just to catch the Monster Marine.

"No, Mandie!" Abby cried. "We don't need you for that! We need you because you're our friend, because you're family….we love you! I love you! You've got to know that!" She wiped her face, which was streaked with black. "You're more than just a victim of some deranged Marine…."

Something clicked in Mandie's head. "Wait….deranged Marine? Is this….this was you-your M-Monster Mar-marine, Abby?" She was incredulous. "The one fr-from the news? Oh my God! I w-was supp-posed to d-die! Out there, in, in the w-woods! I was s-supposed to d-die!" She pulled her hands away from Abby and Gibbs, wrapped her arms around her middle as best she could. Her gaze flashed by the brand on her thigh. "This…this was the de-detail you k-kept from, from the med-media….the br…the br….that thing." She gestured angrily to her thigh. "So it's tr-true. I was al-m-most killed by, by that Mons-s-ster Mar-Marine…. I was supp-supposed to be….what, num-num-number t-ten?" Mandie glared at the people she called her closest friends, her family-away-from-home. "How could you, you keep that fr-from m-me? You've known….all, all this t-time!" She glared as best she could with one eye at Abby. "I should-should've expect-ed it from Gi-Gibbs and T-Tony, but y-you, Ab-Abby? You're, you're supposed to b-be my fr-frien-friend!"

"We're all your friends, Mandie. We weren't trying to hide anything from you….we didn't think you could handle finding out what happened….." Tony tried calming her down.

" 'Finding out what hap-happened'? I didn't 'find out' wh-what happ-ened! It hap-happened. To me! So don't tell me what I c-can and can't han-handle! Cuz I, I already li-lived through it!" She'd started yelling.

Gibbs put on his calm, steady voice. "We never meant to keep secrets from you, Mandie. Don't get mad at Tony and Abby - they only had your best interests at heart, didn't want you any more hurt than you already were."

Mandie kept her one-eyed gaze on her gauze-wrapped hands. "I'd like you to leave, now," she said quietly.

"Not until we've finished talking about…"

"I'm finished talking. And I'd like you - all of you - to leave. Please." When no one moved, she raised her voice. "Get. Out. Now." Shocked, still no one moved. "Leave! Get out! Get out!"

Gibbs was the first to move. He stood, took a few steps away from the bed. "Ok, honey, ok. We'll go." He ignored the stunned look from Tony and motioned him to follow him.

"Mandie, honey….you know we didn't….."

"Just go!" She wouldn't look at anyone, didn't want to see their faces or she'd lose her resolve.

Tony and Gibbs slowly left the room, while Abby hung back. "Mandie…? C'mon, Mand, don't be like this….Mandie Lou…?" A tear ran down her cheek. Backing away slowly, in case Mandie changed her mind, she bumped into Gibbs, who was standing in the door waiting for her. "Gibbs…." she whined.

Putting an arm around her shoulders, Gibbs led her away from Mandie's room. He and Abby and Tony stood in the doorway of the waiting area when they heard the smashing of glass from Mandie's room, followed closely by a scream and more crying. Abby stood between Tony and Gibbs, and they both moved in and lent her their strength. They watched a couple of nurses run into Mandie's room, surprised to hear the all-call for Mandie's doctor. The three of them walked as a group closer to the room when a nurse came out, almost bumping into them. "What happened?" asked Gibbs. "Why do you need the doc?"

The nurse looked over her shoulder at the room. "Nothing too serious. She just ripped some stitches, popped a couple of staples. The stitches aren't a problem, they could be done right in her room, but the staples need to be done in surgery." She looked over and saw the doctor striding quickly down the hall. "Oh, doctor, come in, please."

The doctor pushed the door open andwent in, followed by the nurse. Abby tried to follow, but the nurse stopped her. "But I need to be with her! She's afraid…"

"Once the doctor has a look, we'll let you in." She politely shut the door in Abby's face.

Abby walked dejectedly to the waiting room and sat in the nearest chair. "What have I done? She's….like a sister to me. She's never been this mad at me before, ever! What did I do, Gibbs?"

Gibbs stood beside her and quietly put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "You didn't do anything, Abbs. We gave her a lot to digest. She'll get over it and go back to being our Mandie again."

She looked up at Gibbs hopefully. "You think so?"

Gibbs shared a knowing look with Tony. Neither of them were too sure about Mandie coming around too quickly. "Just give her some time, Abbs. She'll come around." Gibbs squeezed her shoulder again when she pouted.

Several minutes later, the team saw a surgical team enter the room, and seconds later come out, rolling a droopy, sedated Mandie with them. Some last minute instructions, and they hurried to the surgical suite. Mandie's doctor came over to the three watchers. "Mandie needs some staples replaced. She tore them out when she threw the vase across the room. The stitches are being done at the same time, so she should be back in her room in half an hour or so. She'll be fine."

Gibbs shook the doctor's hand. "Thanks, doc."

True to the doctor's word, twenty-six minutes later, a re-bandaged Mandie was wheeled back to her room. A nurse stayed behind to finish hooking up all the IV's. Gibbs, Abby, and Tony were about to enter as the nurse came out. "Oh! Sorry, you startled me. Um, you…can't go in, just yet." She looked guilty.

Tony was upset. "Why not?"

"Um, well…" The nurse was nervous. The two younger ones didn't bother her, but the older gentleman was intimidating. "She, um, Miss Sewell asked me to keep everyone out. She doesn't want to see anyone right now."

"Abby, Tony. Come on." Gibbs nudged the 'kids' back to the waiting room.

"But, boss…!"

"She'll let us know when she's ready, DiNozzo. It might be a while, but she'll let us in."

Two Days Later

Bethesda Naval Hospital

It had been a rough two days for Team Gibbs. Mandie still refused to see any of the team, with the exception of Ducky, and he never told them much when he returned from his brief visits inside her room. Just that she was healing nicely, but still withdrawn.

The worst, though, was that the news that there was a survivor of the Monster Marine somehow leaked to the media, and the floor was constantly bombarded by reporters from TV and newspapers, photographers. Seems everyone on the team had caught someone sneaking into Mandie's room in disguise at one time or another. For her own safety, Mandie was secretly moved to another floor, and an NCIS agent stationed at her door. No one got in that didn't flash a badge or hospital ID.

Gibbs had finally convinced Abby to let Ziva take her home for a few hours to get some rest, a shower, and something to eat. Tony, McGee, and Ducky and Jimmy had returned to NCIS to do some work - they needed a change of scenery. So Gibbs was alone when Balboa arrived. He walked up to the other agent while the guard went into Mandie's room to see if she would see Balboa.

"I have to do this, Gibbs, you know that."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just…"

Balboa looked at Gibbs sympathetically. "Yeah, I know, McGee told me she didn't take things very well. Don't worry, Gibbs. I'll take care of her."

Gibbs nodded. "I know you will. I want to be there when you question her."

The guard came back out. "She'll see you, Agent Balboa." He held the door open for the senior agent, but stepped in front of Gibbs when he tried to enter. "I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs. She specifically asked that I not let you, or anyone from your team, in the room." Gibbs rolled his eyes and took a step back. "Sorry, sir."

Gibbs ignored him and walked slowly away. He sat in a chair facing Mandie's room, and settled in to wait for Balboa to come out.

It was nearly three hours later when Balboa exited Mandie's room. Nurses had come and gone a few times, with fresh water or drinks, even a box of tissues, but he never saw the other agent take a break in the questioning. When he saw the door opening, Gibbs stood and strode angrily over to Balboa. "You should have let her take a break, Balboa!"

Balboa wasn't intimidated by Gibbs like most everyone else, having worked with him for many years. "She didn't want one, Gibbs. Wanted to get the whole thing over and done." Grimacing, he looked at the door behind him, shut once again. "What she's been through? I don't blame her." He held up a hand when Gibbs would have said something. "You know I can't talk about what she told me, I don't care if she is part of the Team Gibbs family." He walked a few feet away from the door, motioning Gibbs to follow him. "But I will tell you this - she's not angry with any of you anymore. Promised her I wouldn't tell any of you, but….the sooner she sees the shrink, the better." He patted Gibbs on the shoulder and started walking away. "Sorry, man."

Gibbs just stood and watched him go, his mind already thinking on shrinks for Mandie.

NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS* ** *NCIS

Next Day ~1 AM

Bethesda Naval Hospital

The armed NCIS agent stationed outside Mandie's room thought nothing of it when a tired-looking maintenance man bumped into him as he passed. A few seconds later, when that same maintenance man had him in a headlock, he knew he'd been played. He struggled, but his air was being cut off. He felt the barrel of his own gun pushed into his temple.

"My war isn't with you, sir. It's that slut in there….thinking she can tease us all, wagging her pretty, little tail in the air at her boyfriends for all of us to see, then never giving us a sniff…we go fight for our country, a year, sometimes longer, at a time, and they still can't share it with us when we come home. Not a very nice way to treat a serviceman now, is it?" He turned the gun over, and hit the NCIS agent in the back of the head with the handle, knocking him unconscious. He tossed the man aside like a rag doll and opened the door slowly…

E!

A/N-I KNOW, SO HORRIBLE OF ME! (THE REAL MANDIE IS GROWLING IN FRUSTRATION AT ME!) BUT I THINK YA'LL NEED THE EXCITEMENT OF THE WAIT! AS USUAL, THANKS TO THE REAL MANDIE BEHIND THE STORY, MANDIELOULUVSEWE, FOR HER HELP ON THIS CHAPTER - SHE GOT ME GOING WHEN I WAS STUMPED. I DARE YOU ALL TO GO READ HER STORIES! (TOTALLY AWESOME TONY-CENTRICS! IF YOU LOVE TONY, READ HER STORIES!)

DISCLAIMER - THE USUAL - RECEIVE OR GIVE NOTHING TO OR FROM ANYONE.

SHAMELESS BEGGING - PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! MUST GET AT LEAST 5 REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER IF ANYONE WANTS TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO MANDIE! (AND TRUST ME, THE REAL MANDIELOU IS PULLING HER HAIR OUT, DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO HERSELF, SO PLEASE HELP OUT A FELLOW FF AUTHOR AND REVIEW!) …..I'LL SHARE MY HOMEMADE TOLLHOUSE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES IF YOU REVIEW….