Hello! Sorry It's been almost a week, but I wasn't really sure where I was taking the story when I left off last time. But here's chapter 7! This one was hard. I'm still not in love with it. But hopefully you'll like?

Please read and review, as usual.

Disclaimer: Castle isn't mine. Darn Andrew.


...

"Well not the whole thing obviously, just the overview. But he knows… what happened, yeah."

"Why would you do that?" Hurt, betrayal, worry- be can't figure out exactly what it is that's flitting across her face, but she's shaking her head, and whatever it is that she's feeling isn't a positive emotion, that's for sure.

"I just thought-"

"No you didn't think obviously, or we wouldn't be here."

"Kate you can't just go back to work like nothing happened."

"Well clearly I can't now since everybody knows, but I'm still going. Don't you dare tell the boys."

Silence.

"The boys know? Seriously Castle? Why can't you keep your damn mouth shut? Isn't it enough that my life is already a book?"

"Oh don't do that. My work has nothing to do with this. The captain and the boys already knew about us and the baby- God knows how, but they did- and Montgomery said he'd fill them in so you didn't have to. I was just trying to help."

"You were... They knew?"

"They're smart."

"You still shouldn't have told them. And I'm allowed to go to work if I want to."

She paused, seeing the hurt that laced through his eyes and pressed his lips together into a thin line. He didn't answer. While he was already quite adept at reading her, she wasn't blind to his emotions. She was a cop after all. And the pleading in his voice told her that he really was just trying to help, even if her instincts were telling her to yell at him and run. Her voice softened, quieter, but still stern.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did you tell my boss our problems and tell him I wasn't going to work?"

His eyes were like a puppy dog's, but not because he was begging. He just looked so incredibly tortured over the news that he had hurt her. He couldn't believe how much power she had over him, and she couldn't believe it either. It was hard to fight when their emotions were so raw and she could see how badly her words were hurting him. But it was her life, and not his to control.

"In the bathroom. Right before you... Right before bed."

"So I wasn't supposed to know? You thought you were just going to keep me locked up here and I was going to bawl in your arms for the next week or so while the whole world pitied us?"

"No I didn't mean it like that I just... I was just trying to help. It's not something you can shove to the bottom of your mind and never think about again. We," his emphasis was unmistakable, "lost a child."

God dammit Castle, she thought. It was so hard to be mad when he put it that way. When he used singular pronouns to couple them together or played the family card.

"And you think I don't know that?" Well that was it, she was done. "You didn't even ask what I wanted..." she answered feebly, having lost whatever small amount of strength she had gained over sleeping in his arms the night before.

She wanted to yell, she wanted to scream at him that she didn't need his help. Every single one of her men of the past had been tortured with that speech at some point or another. But looking into those eyes, she just couldn't do it. No man had ever looked at her the way he was right now, the way he always did. Okay, so last night had made it pretty clear that she did actually need him. But she was so not ready to admit it, and for reasons more personal than keeping his ego at a tolerable level. Deep breaths Kate, be nice.

"Look, I just... I didn't mean to be so... Well, I'm sorry. But Rick I'm just not ready for you to control what I do like that yet." she paused, watching his eyes for a reaction, hoping to see anything but the sadness that had filled them seconds before. "And just so you know, I'm not usually such a crybaby."

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards towards a smile at that last comment. "Oh I know you're not a crybaby. And I'm sorry too. Really. I should have known better. Next time I'll stick to asking about ways I can help instead of jumping to conclusions. I'm just, I'm worried about you." He was mentally kicking himself. He really should have known. He knows her well enough to know how important it is for her not feel weak and clingy. Because she's strong- stronger than anyone he's ever met, men included. And that means that, unlike his ex-wives, she's not in this to mooch off of him and use him as a boy-toy. They're a team, and while he'll never admit it, she wears the pants.

She gets up and throws her pants back on, sticking her hair in a quick braid. He falls dramatically back onto the bed, arms spread wide, thanking his lucky stars that that didn't turn into a huge fight.

When she comes back over and sits down on the bed, he sits up in a scurry, having almost fallen asleep in relief. But she's just sitting there, giggling at him, perfect as ever. Her face is pained, but for the time being it's mostly hidden behind the laughter.

"Has there ever been a day when I didn't give you a reason to laugh at me?" he asks.

"I don't think so no. But why else would I keep you around?" She shakes her head with a loving smirk and brings her hand up to rest on his cheek, caressing his blush with the pad of her thumb.

"Heyyy," he whines, but there's no force behind it.

She smiles back at him, and they tease each other with their eyes. But the smile fades.

"I think I'm gonna sleep at my own place tonight," she stops to track down the right words and brushes a lock of his hair out of his face in the meantime. "It's just that... this is all a lot in a really short time and I, I don't know if I'm ready..."

"It's okay," he cuts in, seeing the conflict in her eyes. His heart pangs a bit but he knows it's probably for the best. They rushed into the couple thing pretty fast, and she's scared. When you think about it, they've only been technically together for a few weeks, not months. For any normal relationship, expecting her over at his place 24/7 after such a short time would be downright irrational. He knows that. And she'll come back. She will.

"Come see me tomorrow? I was planning to have dinner with dad... But you can come watch me do paperwork until then?"

"You'll be okay?"

She knows he is thinking of the night before- the baby, the tears, the guilt- and there is no point in lying.

"I'm not okay. I don't want you thinking I'm all fine and dandy now. But I want this," she wraps an arm around her midsection and casts her eyes downward, "to end... naturally. And until then, well, I've never been good at moping around. You know that." Her voice cracks and she sniffles, but her exterior remains tough.

He nods. "I do know that. Just don't be too hard on yourself alright? It's still not your fault and you need rest."

She nods. "Thank you."

"For?"

She shrugs in a way that's so her and so cute that he can't help but smile, even though she hasn't answered yet. He's falling hard.

"Being you. Understanding. Thank you." She inhales deeply to steady the emotions wracking through her.

He brings a hand up to her neck, fingers just slightly in her hair, and leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. Her eyes flutter shut and the air she took in is finally expelled in one quick sigh. They're okay. They're damaged, but relationship-wise, they're okay. They're good.

He takes her sigh as his cue and leans forward a little more to press his lips to hers. Warmth envelops them and for a few moments, the soft pressures each creates on the other is all that exists in the world.

She leaves a few minutes later, and the bed becomes cold and the house silent. It is certainly not rational to miss her already, but he has always been a sappy one.

A few hours and three episodes of Star Trek later, his phone begins to buzz. He scurries around the counter as fast as he can, smacking his hip on the corner of the marble.

"Hello?" he answers, except that it comes out a couple octaves higher than his usual tenor, due to the throbbing ache in his side.

"Uh... Castle?"

He clears his throat and coughs heartily, trying to return his voice to normal.

"Yeah?"

"You okay there?"

"Yep. Just fine."

A soft chuckle comes from his phone's speaker. She obviously didn't buy his horrendous cover-up there, but she continues and leaves the subject behind anyway.

"Um... Okay. Miss me yet? I was thinking maybe you could drop by for lunch?"

"That bored of work already?"

"Well Montgomery desked me..."

"I'm sorry." He really is sorry, and his voice proves that for him, but at the same time he's relieved that she's not going out into the field.

"No I didn't mean it like that! I'm just, ah, a little bored."

She does sound bored. Or tired. He isn't sure; it's hard to tell over the phone.

Half an hour later, they are at Remy's, nestled into a booth in the back, and Kate is falling asleep on Rick's shoulder. Esposito called to tell them that their suspect had cracked without too much effort and offered to do the paperwork with Ryan so Kate could go home. So they've been sitting and eating slower than usual ever since, enjoying the comfort of their closeness. Kate and Rick hadn't talked about it much after hanging up, but when she woke up and realized that she had conked out in the middle of a restaurant before even finishing lunch, she'd all but asked him to take her home. The tears were non-existent, but there was an extra red rim to her eyes that even his best jokes never seemed to fully erase. He'd promised himself that morning that he'd avoid using 'I told you so's no matter what happened, and he kept to that promise.

An hour later they were both passed out on her couch, the credits rolling for some movie they'd even never bothered to check the title of.

Two hours later, they were saying goodnight at her door, like teenagers on a first date. He was a little afraid to touch her, afraid to draw her attention to her ever so slightly enlarged waist by placing his hands there. So he held her hands in his own, looked her in the eyes, and then leaned forward and kissed her. Kissed her like it was their first date and he was trying to do nothing but make an honorable impression. So warm, so soft, so perfect. Like they were innocent. The whole thing was sweet, really, and utterly adorable. Exactly what she needed.


Look! I left you all without a cliffhanger! It's a relatively happy ending really. Aren't you proud? Unfortunately I'm not making any promises for the chapters ahead.

Please please please review! I want to know if you think I got that right.

Thanks again for reading, you're all the best.

-Lex