Here and Now

Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Tragedy
Inspired By: Roosterspur Bridge
Artist: Tori Amos
Summary: He never wanted any of this, but he made it his mission to make sure she never had to suffer with him. Companion to 'What I Wish.' Cloud's POV.
A/N: As some of you may know, I've been working on this for quite awhile. Despite the fact that these are fictional characters, it's been a pretty rough ride to write. *Sniffle* I think if you're a Cloud fangirl/boy, you should probably have a tissue box ready… I went through a whole one throughout the writing process. T.T


He woke up one morning to the feel of her warm body resting softly on his chest. His right arm came up behind her to rest on her shoulders and pull her close as he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. She stirred slowly, looking up at him with a bleary smile. His gentle smirk widened as he whispered, "Morning, beautiful."

"Morning, Cloud." She angled herself to fist her hand in his long-sleeve t-shirt and press her lips to his.

Cloud mumbled against her mouth, "I love you, Tifa."

"I know. I love you, too, Cloud."

"But I am going to be seriously late for work if I don't get in the shower now."

"Oh!" she exclaimed and jumped back. She grabbed her bathrobe and pulled it on over her pajamas, saying, "I'll go make us some breakfast. Hurry, now! Don't want to be late!"

He watched her go before finally moving his left arm out from under the covers. His eyes trailed down to the dark stain forming a blotchy line up his sleeve. Damn it… Not again…

It had all started three weeks ago, just as he'd gotten home from work while his girlfriend and soulmate had been out shopping. The autumn was about a month in, so Cloud had started to dress in long sleeves during his trips as a delivery boy when he'd noticed a bit of dark-colored liquid on his sleeve. He brushed it off as oil from his motorcycle and went on with the day.

Two days later, while he was in the shower, it had happened again. The dark ooze had started to seep out of an invisible wound on his arm, washing down the drain and disappearing from sight. He'd worn an extra layer to try to hide it in case it happened while he was out and about on his job.

It started happening more and more, but he found himself unable to tell Tifa. He brushed it off as a virus he'd picked up and didn't even guess it could be more.

Until the seizures started.

He'd been in the kitchen, making dinner while Tifa was taking a nap. She hadn't even known he'd come home and he decided not to wake her. While he was getting the vegetables ready for stew, a sharp pain had pierced through his whole arm as more of the ooze escaped his flesh. By now, there was a permanent black mark on his arm, but he still wasn't prepared when the throbbing exploded.

His whole body shook and his lungs didn't seem like they could inhale and exhale quickly enough. He fell to his knees and grasped at his arm, biting on his lip to avoid screaming and waking Tifa. He'd succeeded in staying silent as the pain finally ebbed away, but realized for the first time that there was something seriously wrong. People didn't just expend black pus from their bare flesh and suddenly convulse into pain. They just didn't.

Tifa had come down the hall a half-hour later, after he'd changed his shirt and cleaned up the ooze. He was standing at the stove, working on dinner. Swallowing his spit, he'd opened his mouth to speak and bring this issue up with her when her slender arms had wrapped around his waist and her lips pressed affectionate kisses to his neck.

He just couldn't bring himself to say the words. Finally, he took some personal time from work to get a doctor's appointment to find out what was wrong. That was when he'd discovered. He was sick. Fatally sick. He could die in a couple months. He told the doctor to check again, to make sure it wasn't a virus. The doctor sadly shook his head and said geostigma was the only known disease to have these symptoms.

Cloud had exploded into a fit of rage. He was only twenty-one! He was living with the woman of his dreams and, just four weeks ago, had purchased a ring with a small diamond on it for her. He had spent the time since working up the courage to give it to her—he had no doubt that she'd say 'yes'—and dealing with his newfound illness.

He should be getting married and starting a family. Not dying… Dying. You always hear about these things happening to others. It never happens to you.

He swallowed his tears as he went home that day, trying to figure out how he would tell her. He'd walked in the door and was instantly greeted by her bright smile. She seemed like she was glowing for some reason. He wondered what could possibly make her so happy, but he decided he didn't care. If she was happy, then he could find a small part of him that could still smile in light of what he'd just discovered.

Greeting her with a kiss, he felt his heart lift slightly as he held his love in his arms and breathed her scent of jasmine and strawberries. He kissed her again and went upstairs for a shower after a day on the dusty roads. Another attack had hit him while he was bathing and he realized he couldn't keep this from her for much longer.

He didn't bother to wear layers this time. If he had another fit, there wouldn't be enough layers he could wear to absorb all the pus. During their quiet dinner together, he knew he should say something, but her bright smile was still there. He couldn't bring himself to ruin her mood.

They'd gone to bed and he'd woken up this morning, knowing exactly what he had to do. He picked up the bag he always used for work and packed two changes of clothes, a picture of Tifa, a few essentials, and the engagement ring he'd bought. He headed to the kitchen and ate breakfast with her like usual before kissing her goodbye with a long, languorous kiss.

She smiled up at him. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of that?"

Because I'll never see you again… He managed a smile and replied, "I just felt like kissing the woman I love a little better than usual. Is that so wrong?"

Her expression was still bright as it had been yesterday as she pulled his close for a hug and kissed him again. "I love you, Cloud. You'll be home on time today, right?"

He struggled to keep the vomit down as he gave a slight nod. "Yeah… I love you, Tifa. You know that, right?"

She gave him a strange look. "Why are you acting so odd this morning? Of course I know you love me. You tell me and show me so often, how could I not?"

He nodded and kissed her once more for good measure. "I was just making sure."

"Have a good day and, as always, drive safe! I love you!" she called after him as he made his way out the door.

He mounted his motorcycle and waved to her through the window before pulling away. He pulled into the parking lot at the building he worked out of and made his way to his boss's office. Cloud knocked on the open doorframe and waited for the blond man to look up. He ushered the other man inside and he took a seat, shifting uncomfortably for a minute.

His boss cracked a smirk and said, "So, didja do it, kid? Finally pop the question to yer lady?"

Cloud shook his head slowly. "No, I didn't, Cid… I never will, either."

Cid raised an eyebrow. "Something happen b'tween you two?"

The younger man pushed his sleeve up to show the black scars now on his arm. "Only this."

"What the hell…?"

"It's called geostigma. It's a rare, non-contagious, fatal illness."

"Fatal…?"

"Yeah. I'm dying, Cid."

He reached up to scratch the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, holy shit. I never 'spected that…"

"Neither did I. Can you do me a favor?"

"Huh? What is it?"

"Since I'm still an employee, I get funeral benefits, right?"

"I'd guess so… I don' know any of that shit."

"Can you make sure it all goes straight to Tifa? As an anonymous check?"

"Sayin' your goodbyes already?"

"I… I couldn't tell her. She deserves better than that."

"Yer a damn fool, boy. You don't think Tifa wants to know? You don' think she has the right to know?"

"Of course she does! But… I just… She's been so happy lately… I see her smile and all my problems just fly out the window… Please, promise me you'll take care of her, Cid. You're the only one I can trust."

He grunted and leaned back in his chair, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket despite the 'No Smoking' sign on the wall. "'Cause it's you and Tifa, I'll do what I can. I'm sure Shera'll help."

"Thanks, Cid. I better go." He stood and made his way out to the lockers for employees to use, entering the code on his and opening it. He pulled out all the pictures of Tifa he had taped to the inside of the door and tucked them all in his bag with the utmost care before pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. He sat down on the bench on the opposite wall and set to work, writing out a farewell to Tifa. He felt tears start to prick at his eyes as he wrote the words that he knew would break her beautiful heart.

He wasn't sure what possessed him to, but as the last paragraph, he found himself writing, 'Come back to our bridge three years from now.' He blinked, staring at the words, wondering how he'd work that out. No doubt he'd be dead before one year had passed. Maybe he could get Cid to do him another favor. He signed the letter and sealed it inside an envelope before tucking it in his jacket pocket.

He walked back outside and mounted his motorcycle, making his way down the street and pausing when he saw the local mailman parked outside a neighborhood home. Pulling up to the curb, he waved a hand to get the dark-haired man's attention. "Hey, Angeal!" he called as he held up his letter. "Got room for one more?"

Angeal made his way down the sidewalk with a smile. "Of course, Cloud. What do you need?"

He held out the letter that was addressed, simply, 'Tifa.' "It's a letter for Tifa, but I don't want her to know it's from me until she reads it. Just treat it like a regular letter, okay?"

"Ah… A secret love letter? Are you finally proposing to her?"

He felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. "Not quite that just yet, but, yeah, something like a love letter."

Angeal gave him a curious look. "Are you feeling alright? You don't look so good."

Cloud shook his head. "Not really. I've been feeling a little under the weather lately."

"Ah, I see." He clapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hope you feel better. Take care."

"I will, thanks. You, too."

He nodded and accepted the letter before tucking it into his mailbag. "Have a good day. Promise me you'll head home if you feel worse?"

"I have to work. I really can't afford to take any time off."

"Ah. Well, take it easy, you hear?"

"Of course. Take care, Angeal, and thanks for getting that letter."

"You know I don't mind. I better run off, now. I don't want the whole neighborhood to be late with their mail."

"Yeah… I better go, too. Packages to deliver and all."

"Right. See you around, Cloud."

He nodded and kick-started his motorcycle again, taking off in the direction of his first delivery. A few hours later, he finished up, drove back to his office building, and parked in the very back of the garage, hoping that if Tifa came by, she wouldn't see his bike there. He walked back to the locker room and opened the locker where he'd stashed all his things. He pulled off his shirt and glanced over his arm, scowling at the black scars spreading to the back of his hand and up his shoulder. Pulling on a different shirt, he wandered over to the bench and dropped down, hoping to catch some sleep.

He woke up the next morning to the sound of two voices talking. One was the gruff sound of Cid's voice and the other was the sweet and gentle tone of Tifa's. Cloud choked on his own spit when he heard the sadness in her voice, "Please, Cid, do you know anything? Anything at all?"

His voice sounded back. "I'm sorry, Tifa. 'S far as I know, he got off of work an' went home. I'll call you right away if I see him around here."

Cloud sat up, silently grabbing his bag and slipping out the side of the building. He sat down by the dumpster to hide from the view of the door and held his bag on his lap, thinking, What the hell am I doing? I'm hiding from Tifa! Tifa! The one woman I swore I would never leave alone and promised to her brother and father that I would never make her cry! God, I hate myself… I love her, but… She deserves a man who can take care of her, not one that'll die and leave her alone.

He caught the sight of someone coming out the same door he had just moments ago and glanced around his hiding place to see Tifa come out. She looked up at the sky and reached in her pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and skimming it before bursting into tears. Cloud felt that ever-familiar feeling of being punched in the stomach overtake him as he forced down his instinct to rush out to her and hold her in his arms. One glance at the black ooze staining his sleeve reminded him that he needed to let her go so she could move on.

She tucked the paper—his letter, he realized—back into her pocket and slowly started to walk down to the parking lot before climbing into a red sedan. Cloud caught sight of the driver and felt mildly relieved that at least she had Vincent, her brother, to go to. The sedan left and he climbed out of his hiding spot, slipping inside the building. He made his way to Cid's office and knocked on the doorframe. The older man looked up and shock came over his features at the sight of the man in his office. "An' where the hell're you last night? Tifa came in here, sobbing her eyes out, sayin' she got a letter that said you weren't comin' home. Care to explain?"

He looked away and replied, "She needs to move on. She can't live her life stuck on me."

"You stupid little bastard… Is that black shit on your arm messin' with your head, too? Can't you see the woman loves you? She jus' wants to see you and know you're okay."

"But I'm not okay, Cid. I'm dying. Do you hear me? I'm dying. I'd never forgive myself if she went the rest of her life without giving love with another man a second thought."

"You know damn well that she won't if she thinks you just ran away. If she knows you're dying and if she knows what you want her to do, then she'll do it, boy. The woman loves you, kid. Don't waste it."

"Cid, she's only twenty-years-old… Not even completely a woman. She shouldn't have to watch me die. I can't put her through that."

Cid sat back in his chair as he gave Cloud a cross look. "You have any idea how frickin' selfish you just sounded?"

Cloud slowly glanced up. "What do you mean?"

"You only don't want her with you because you don't want her to see you weakening. You don't want her to know that the man she fell in love with and would give anything for wasn't invincible. Instead, you'd rather she remembered you as a cold-hearted little bastard."

"You just don't-" Cloud cut off and reached across himself to grab his arm, clinging to it as the pain exploded again. He fell forward out of his chair and landed on his knees, gasping for breath as his body convulsed.

Cid slowly stood, absently reaching out without a clue as to what to do. As quickly as it had started, Cloud's seizure ended and he slowly pulled himself back to the chair. He took deep breaths and managed, "I'm sorry, Cid… I'll clean that up…" He gestured vaguely to the black stains on the dirty tile floor before slumping over in the chair.

Only two weeks later, Cloud found himself stumbling into Cid's office again and clinging to the doorframe for support. His bangs were matted to his forehead with sweat and his eyes were glazed over after his latest attack as he blearily raised them to meet his boss's. "Cid… I don't think I can work anymore… I can barely see, let alone drive…"

Cid nodded, taking note of the black marks now working their way up Cloud's neck and chin. "Okay, kid. Take care of yourself. You were technically an employee as long as you could, so I'll see to it that Tifa gets your benefits. I looked it up, too. It only lasts about six months, but it'll be enough for her to figure out where to go. If all loss fails, she can stay with me an' Shera."

He struggled for his breath and whispered, too weak to raise his voice any higher, "Can you help me to the hospital?"

"Of course, boy. Come with me."

Cid helped him out to his beat-up old pick-up and into the passenger seat before climbing into the driver's side. Cloud clutched his bag to him, knowing the only traces of Tifa he'd ever see again were inside.

He passed out cold and when he woke, he was sitting in a plush white bed in a white and green hospital gown, his left arm bandaged up to absorb the ooze. He glanced down at his wrist to see a yellow check-in bracelet with his name and birthdate on it fastened to his right wrist. He looked up slowly as the door opened and a woman in a white coat walked in with a smile. "Ah, I see you're up!"

Cloud managed a weak nod and asked, "Who are you…?"

"I'm Doctor Lucrecia Crescent. How are you feeling?"

He glanced down at his arm and back up at her. "Not the best."

"I see. We'll do all we can to make sure you're comfortable. Is there anyone you want us to call?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, I…" He jumped up a sitting position in alarm and glanced through the room. "Where's my bag?"

"Easy, easy…" She walked over and pressed her palms to his shoulders, easing him down to the pillows. "Your friend is sitting in the waiting room with it. He said you were holding onto it for dear life, so there must be something important in there. He stayed to make sure you got settled and to see to it that you got your belongings where you wanted them."

He eased down into the pillows. "I see… Thank you. Can I talk to him?"

"Of course! If you need anything, just press this button." She slipped a small device into his right hand that reminded him of a bomb trigger from TV shows.

"Thanks."

"Right. I'll see to it that your friend gets in here, Mr. Strife."

His head lolled over as he glanced out the wide window. "Just Cloud…"

"I see. Then I'm just Lucrecia. I'll go let him know."

Cloud sat there in silence, waiting, until a knock sounded on the door and Cid walked in, holding Cloud's messenger bag. "Hey, kid. How you doin'?"

He reached out with his good hand and Cid handed him the bag. Cloud opened it and dug around, pulling out the pictures he had of Tifa and him, smiling and laughing. Finally, he pulled out the velvet box and opened it to look at the ring inside.

Cid observed him, silently pulling up a chair next to him. "So you were gonna do it, huh?"

Cloud nodded slowly. "Yeah… I bought this almost two months ago… I wanted to give it to her, but I lost my nerve… And then this started…" He raised his bandaged arm to show what he meant.

He sighed loudly. "Yeah, I get it. I still think you're a damn fool for cuttin' her off."

"Please, promise me you won't say anything to her about this."

"Cloud-"

"Promise me, Cid."

He threw his hands up in the air. "Alright. Fine. I promise. Ya happy? You just successfully broke your lady's heart."

"I broke it the moment this all started. But it's better this way. She'll recover and she'll find someone else to love."

"Whatever. You want me to stay?"

"You have a job to do. I won't stop you. Cid, can I ask you a favor?"

"That'd depend."

"When you walk out today, please don't come back. You've been a great friend and boss to me, but I asked you not to tell Tifa about me and I know it'll only get harder to keep it a secret as I get worse."

"You wanna go through this shit alone?"

He averted his eyes, slowly flexing his marred fingers. "If that's what it takes, then yes."

"Alright, fine. Be that way. You know my number if you want some company."

"Thanks, Cid. I don't deserve friends like you."

He paused on his way out the door. "No, you really don't."

Cloud looked back down at the photographs and the ring on his lap as his friend walked out of the room. He picked through and pulled one picture from the bottom out, holding it up to look at it. The wide smile on his nineteen-year-old face looked like a foreign memory now. He slowly trailed the face of the beautiful teenager sitting on his back piggyback-style with a glob of sticky cotton candy in her hand and the bright upturn of her lips made something in his heart ache.

He felt a sharp pain in his arm and quickly pushed his precious memories to the side so they wouldn't be ruined by the blackness. The fit ended and he felt himself fade out to unconsciousness again.

His dreams were filled with memories of he and Tifa through their many years together. They'd been friends all their lives until the day in middle school when he'd shyly kissed her cheek. The smile that had spread on her face was the first of many bright smiles he'd seen. After that, they'd started dating, becoming even more inseparable. They were always together as often as they could be. They went to each others' houses for holidays and everyone in town knew the two of them were made for each other.

Their relationship blossomed into an actual one when they'd started high school and reached the point of going to dances together and making special plans for Valentine's Day. On one such day, the year he'd been a senior and she'd been a junior, they had taken their blossoming love to the ultimate level in the backseat of her father's SUV.

After they both graduated, they moved in together, not even hesitating to get one bed to share. As far as their parents knew, though, it went just as far as their afternoon naps together on the couch or out in the sunlit fields. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be married someday and starting a family.

One of his favorite memories came to the surface, the one of their birthday tradition. Twice every year, once on May third and once on August eleventh, they always met out on 'their' bridge. It was a small, rustic red bridge that they'd discovered during one of their many walks through the woods. It looked kind of old and while the path surrounding it was still there, it didn't look to get much use. They'd never told anyone else of it and it had always been their little secret. Whenever one of them wanted to meet without their parents knowing, they always referred to it as 'the place.' They always knew what it meant and that was all that mattered.

His body burst into a painful throbbing and he jerked awake, leaning forward into a slightly crouching position while clutching at his arm. Two sturdy hands grabbed at his arm, attempting to help him, and a voice shouted, "H-hey, now! Calm down!"

The episode only lasted a minute and he fell back into the pillows again. His first thought was that the pictures were no longer in his lap where he'd left them and he started searching frantically for them. The same voice spoke while pushing him back, "Easy… I just framed them and set them at the table at the end of your bed. You can easily see them from here and they won't be in any danger of getting stuff on them from the spasms. The ring is on your bedside table where you can still reach it."

Cloud finally relaxed, just realizing that the photos of his beloved were right where the man had said. He eased down into the pillows and reached over to pick up the ring and held it over his heart before looking up at the stranger. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Who are you?"

The raven-haired man grinned. "I would be none other than Zack Fair!"

"And…? Are you a doctor?"

"Nope! I just come here and give people company. I volunteer to come down and make sure nobody's alone in this place for too long. It gets sad and lonely. Doctor Crescent said that you didn't want them to call anyone and that a friend wasn't going to be coming back. She asked me to come in and make sure you were comfortable."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I'm dying and I don't need to have anyone getting sad over me."

He pouted. "You know, that's one hell of a depressing attitude you got there."

He glanced briefly at him before turning his eyes back to the ring in the velvet box in his hands. When he stayed silent, Zack slowly asked, "Is that her in the pictures?"

Cloud's eyes never left the stone as he slowly nodded. "I… never got to give it to her." He caught motion out of the corner of his eye and looked over as Zack stood and gently lifted a picture in his hands.

He studied it for a moment before setting it back down. "She's beautiful. What happened to her?"

"What makes you think anything did?"

"She's not here with you, is she?"

"She… I left her alone without telling her." He sighed, expecting the same lecture Cid had given him.

"I see. I won't judge you. I only just met you. I can't say what you should've done when I let my own fiancée slip away."

Cloud glanced over at him and asked without meaning to, "What happened…?"

He sighed and sat down. "Nothing I could prevent. She died to save another life, though. She was a paramedic for the fire department. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was caught in the blast, but she didn't die right away. I came to the hospital as soon as I heard, but I was too late… She died before I could get here. I felt horrible. What she must've gone through without anyone here with her… I made a vow that no one else would ever have to go through that as long as I could do anything about it and I volunteered here."

"That was very noble of you."

"I just hope I'm being a help to all these people here."

They sat in a comfortable silence for awhile, breaking it now and then to get to know one another better. Finally, visiting hours ended and Zack went home. Cloud sat in the room alone, looking over his pictures of his beautiful angel until the sedative administered to his I.V. kicked in and he fell asleep.

The next morning, Cloud woke to find Zack already there with a handheld game in his hands. "Zack…"

The other man raised a finger to silence him. "Hang on a sec. This boss is a nasty little bitch." He stayed silent for a minute, biting his lip as he concentrated on the game. "Oh… Oh… Damn! Not Heartless Angel, you little freak! Dammit, come on, come on… Get that X-Potion out… Crap, I'm dead." He hit the power switch and tucked it into his pocket. "So! How are you doing this morning?"

Cloud shifted his shoulders into a shrug. "I didn't have any fits overnight, if that's what you're asking."

"Actually, it's been two days. You've been asleep for quite awhile."

"Mm…"

"…What's her name?"

"Tifa. Tifa Lockhart."

"That's a nice name. Personally, I think Tifa Strife sounds better."

"Me, too."

"If you called her, you could probably have a hospital wedding. I think they still do those."

He shook his head. "No… I left her like that so she wouldn't be caught on me. So she'd move on."

"I can understand that, I guess. So! What do you want to do today?"

"What else? Sit here and wait to die."

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that! You should be having fun! Goofing off and spending your last days doing everything you never got to do!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know… Jump out of a plane, water ski, swim with dolphins, sing karaoke, get drunk off your ass…"

"What makes you think I haven't done any of those?"

"I don't know. You just don't strike me as the adventurous type."

"I have gone swimming with dolphins and I've been drunk off my ass, too. Tifa's and my families went up to Costa del Sol to get a vacation. Money was tight in both of our families, so we didn't get those often. Anyway, Tifa and I shared a hotel room and we'd gotten a bottle of tequila and drank almost the whole thing. When we woke up, we- Well, let's just say I was glad we were in a locked hotel room and no one else had a key."

Zack snorted. "I'd be curious to hear the full extent of that story someday."

A slow smirk crossed Cloud's face at the memory. "All I'll say for now is that I think we may have started to play strip Jenga."

"How does that work?"

"Beats me."

He started laughing. "Ah, man. Looks like I was wrong. You've had quite the adventurous life, haven't you?"

His smirk slowly transitioned to a soft smile as his mind filled with all his memories of Tifa. "I'm not sure 'adventurous' is the word to use, but it's been a good life."

Zack leaned back in his chair. "You have any regrets?"

Cloud sighed and leaned back in his pillows. "Two. The first being that I had this damned disease in the first place."

He was silent for a bit before prompting, "And the other…?"

"That I was too much of a coward to tell Tifa the whole truth. She had the right…"

His hand slipped into his pocket and he held his phone towards the younger man. "It's not too late, you know."

He shook his head. "Yes, it is." His eyes moved up to meet the other man's for moment. "Zack, would you do me a huge favor?"

"Find Tifa Should-Be-Strife and bring her here?"

"No, not quite."

"Then what?"

"I… wrote her a farewell letter, telling her that I wouldn't be coming home and that I still loved her—and always would—but that she should move on and find a man who could give her everything she deserved."

"Okay…"

"I don't know what came over me, but at the end of the letter, I asked her to go to our special place in three years. I didn't say why or what would happen, but I was hoping, if you don't mind, that maybe you could go and explain what happened to her."

"Three years…?"

"From September twenty-first."

"I think I can mark my calendar. Where's this 'special place'?"

"There's this little bridge out in the forest on Orson. It's a small little country road. If you bring a map tomorrow, I'll mark it for you."

"Alright."

"Are you sure you don't mind? I mean, I'm asking you to tell my girlfriend and-" He held up the ring for inspection. "-would-be fiancée that I'd be dead. That's kind of a heavy burden."

Zack sat back in his chair and stroked his chin for a moment. "Yeah, it is, but if I can help her find peace, then I don't mind. It's better to have closure than to wonder forever, you know?"

"Thanks, I… I really appreciate it."

"No problem! You'll have to remind me of the day and place, though."

Cloud nodded slowly and fell back against the pillows. "I… I can't thank you enough."

He shook his head and grinned. "Actually, there is something you can do for me."

He raised his eyes back to the other man's and asked, "What is it?"

His grin only got wider. "When you get to the Lifestream, say 'hi' to my fiancée. Her name was Aerith Gainsborough."

"I think I can do that."

"Thanks, man!"

Months passed and Cloud barely noticed. It only seemed as if the pain was worsening, no matter the changing of the seasons out the window. Winter came and went, but he didn't even perceive the change. Zack was there the whole time, standing by and keeping him company, sometimes just sitting there in silence.

The snow finally melted and Cloud kept his eyes on the photographs of Tifa, never wanting to let them out of his sight when the doctors came for tests. The blackness had spread from his left arm, neck, and upper torso all the way across his body to mar the other arm and left leg.

Zack came in one morning when Cloud was already awake, pushing a wheelchair with a grin. "Hey, man, guess what?"

Cloud slowly turned to face him, no longer really caring what happened. "What?"

His smile widened. "I got the doctor's permission to take you outside for a bit! It'll do you good to get some fresh air now that the snow's all gone. C'mon, I'll help you into the chair."

"Zack, I appreciate the thought, but I don't want to."

"Oh, come on! It's, what, March eighteenth already? The weather's beautiful!"

He turned to face Zack, moving slowly as a combined effect of the bandages wrapped around his neck and jaw and the pain itself. "Zack, I could die today."

"Exactly why you should get outside. Come on!"

Zack pulled the chair over to the bed and picked up an extra blanket and set it up inside. He lowered the side rail and started to help Cloud out of the bed and into the chair. Cringing in pain, the blond fought back a scream as he was seated. Zack grabbed another blanket from the side and unfolded it before setting it across his lap.

He grinned and grabbed the handles of the chair before saying, "Don't worry, man, there're nurses stationed everywhere outside. If another episode happens, they'll be right there to help."

"Mm…" he mumbled, groaning as they went over a bump. They continued on outside and Cloud watched as they passed by other patients, doctors, and nurses. Finally, natural light came into view in his right eye, his left blocked by the bandages concealing his geostigma. Zack pushed him along paved paths in seemingly random directions, finally coming to a stop under a cherry blossom in full bloom. Setting the brake on the wheelchair, he walked around it and sat on the bench next to him so they were facing each other.

He grinned and set his arm across the back of the wooden seat. "So, it's not that bad out here, is it?"

Cloud slowly strained his right arm to reach up and finger the pink blossoms. "They were Tifa's favorite."

Zack raised an eyebrow. "The blossoms?"

"Yeah."

"They were Aerith's favorite, too. I think it was because they were pink, though."

He managed a small snort, then immediately grasped at his chest in pain. "Damn…"

Zack stood and gently set a hand on his shoulder to help him relax. "It hurts?"

He hummed a sound of affirmation and tried to calm his breathing. "I'm okay, Zack. For now."

He sat back down and shook his head slowly. "I still can't believe you left your girlfriend behind. I mean, from the stories you've told me, she would've been the perfect person to have around at a time like this."

He fondled the picture resting on his lap. "No… She's too kind. She would've smiled and tried to cheer me up, but the second she got home, she would've taken all the blame, pain, and anger out on herself. She's too caring to let anyone know she's hurting. I love her for that. She trusted me enough to tell what was bothering her, but she'd hide it if I was suffering."

"Mm… She's too perfect, eh?"

"Yeah. She's one of those 'can't live with her, can't live without her' types. I love her so much, but I…"

He reached out and gently set a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Don't worry, man. We've been through this before. I understand and I promise I'll tell her everything in three years."

"Thanks. It really means a lot, you know."

"Just remember to talk to Aerith when you see her, okay?"

"Yeah, I know. I will. Don't worry about that."

They sat in silence for a long moment, peacefully taking in the fresh spring air for a long moment before Cloud finally asked, "…Zack?"

He rolled his head to the side to face him. "Yeah?"

"Have you… seen her…?"

His brow furrowed in confusion. "You mean Tifa? Only in the pictures you have."

"No, I mean Aerith. Have you seen her since…?"

A light of understanding entered his eyes as he looked up at the sky. "Ohh… Yeah, I have. Every night in my dreams and sometimes when I go to her grave and stuff. I feel her with me almost all the time. She talks to me sometimes, too. Tells me that she's happy to see me getting on and that I should keep up all the smiles."

"Mm…"

He shifted his gaze to watch Cloud for a moment before asking, "Why do you ask?"

"Do you think…? Do you think I'd be able to see Tifa?"

"I don't see why not. I'm a firm believer that those in the Lifestream stay around to watch us after they pass on. If nothing else, you'd be able to watch her and make sure she was safe."

"Good. I just want to know that she's happy…"

"I can understand that."

Two days later, Cloud and Zack sat back in the blindingly white room. The young blond lay back in his bed, staring at the pictures of his beloved girlfriend at the end of his bed. Zack silently stood and picked up the profile shot of Tifa's smiling face and handed it to him.

Cloud weakly reached out to take it and touched her face gently. The black ooze started to seep through the bandages and all he did was stare at it for a long moment until the pain struck.

Zack reached out to take the picture from him to keep it from the pus, but Cloud shook his head and clutched it to his chest. The explosive agony crested throughout his body and two salty tears drifted down his cheeks.

He held the picture more tightly as his shoulders shook and the blackness dripped out of the corner of his mouth, leaving an awful taste like tar in his mouth. His tongue formed a single word around the tainted saliva. "Tifa…"

As quickly as it had started, the pain stopped and he fell back in the pillows, still holding the picture. The sun shone brightly through the window and lit his youthful face marred by poison as Zack walked over to arrange his pillows more comfortably. He tucked the picture into the crook of his arm and sighed.

He never woke up.

Cloud Tempest Strife, age twenty-one, passed away at nine-thirty-seven a.m. on March twentieth, 2007.

……

His arms met with her before she even knew where she was. Her ruby red eyes looked up to see his face, her vision blurred by tears. "Cloud…?"

He nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips, eight long years since he had last spoken to her at his grave. "Tifa, you shouldn't be here," he whispered to her hair, "You're too young…"

Her arms wrapped around him then, pulling him as close as she could. "You were younger than me…"

He lifted her and carried her farther back from the entry point, heading towards a secluded corner in the swirling green realm. "But I was ill."

Her eyes suddenly snapped up towards him and she looked around frantically. "Storm!" she called and pulled out of his arms, turning to examine the people walking in. "Storm!"

Cloud grabbed her forearms to get her to face him. "Tifa. Calm down. Storm's not here. He's fine."

Tifa looked up at him with wide eyes, her hands still shaking in his. "What do you mean? He was in the car with me! He-!"

"Tifa. Look." He swept one hand across a green tendril and the image appeared of a hospital room. A young, ten-year-old, spiky-haired blond lay in the bed, a cast on one arm and a few bandages here and there. Around him, Vincent, Zack, Tifa's parents, Cloud's single mother, Cid, and his wife, Shera, all stood in the room.

Tifa looked down on the scene, watching as her friends and family spoke amongst themselves, "What will we tell him?" "The poor boy never knew his father and now this happens…" "Gods, I hope Tifa's okay with Cloud…"

Cloud licked his lips and watched her expression. "You see, Tifa? He's just fine. Our friends will be there to raise him and we'll be here to watch out for him."

Her eyes slowly moved back to his face. "But… But… The car… It came straight at us… He was right next to me..."

Cloud slowly looked away. "I… watched it start to happen. I saw it. I saw the car coming and acted before I could stop myself. I went to the plane of the living and shielded him. I'm already dead, so it didn't hurt me at all, but I saved him. He can live his life out now."

Tifa threw her arms around him and held on tight. "Thank you, Cloud."

He returned her embrace, more so just happy to hold her than anything else. "He's my son, too. My only regret is that I couldn't save you both."

"It's okay, Cloud… as long as we're together… I just wish we could be alive to be with Storm and to help him grow… as a family."

He gave her smile and held her hand. "Here, come with me." He turned and started walking, pulling her with him down various pathways.

……

Zack stood in the hospital room, watching the young son of his friends sleep in peace. He cricked his neck to stretch it out and froze at the sight by the window. There, under the light of the afternoon sun, stood the proud parents of Storm Lockhart-Strife, returned to their prime after death. They stood still, watching their son with their arms linked behind each other's back and gentle smiles on their faces.

The raven-haired man gave a smile of his own at the sight, glad to see Cloud free of the blackness that had plagued him and Tifa scot-free from the crash that had ended her life.

His eyebrows went straight up and his throat went dry as a young brunette walked in the room and paused by the bed, gently checking the boy's pulse. He grinned as his fiancée looked up and gave him a bright smile of her own. She spoke, her ethereal voice reaching only his ears, "Don't worry, Zack. I'll take care of them."

Cloud's spirit looked up at that. "Geez, Aerith. Way to kill the moment."

A giggle escaped her lips and Zack gave a short chuckle of his own, pausing when the rest of the live people in the room gave him an odd look. Aerith giggled again. "No one else can see us, silly. They're still mourning Tifa's death."

Tifa leaned into Cloud and sighed. "I'm still not used to this… Death is so… strange."

Her lover pulled her closer. "And yours was so sudden, too…But you felt less, pain, right?"

She closed her eyes and turned away slightly as she said, "I don't really remember… Just a bright flash and then I was in Cloud's arms."

He took a slow step forward, gently leading Tifa over to their son. The brunette sat on the edge of the bed, without sinking into the mattress, and reached out to tousle her son's hair. Cloud walked over and stood next to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and holding Storm's hand with the other.

His eyes fluttered open and widened as he registered the sight of his mother at a younger age and a man who looked exactly like himself but older. He swallowed and slowly sat up while all the people he'd known as friends and family came forward with questions like, "Are you okay?" and "How do you feel?"

He ignored them and reached towards his parents, asking, "Mom? Dad?"

The other adults looked around in confusion while Zack simply smiled, Aerith standing beside him. Cloud reached out and ruffled his son's hair. "I'm sorry, Storm. I'm sorry I never got to know you as your father… Rest assured, though. Your mom and I are going to do everything we can from where we are."

The boy focused his blue eyes on his mother and swallowed. "Mom…? Are you…? Did you…?"

She leaned forward and hugged her son, pulling him to her while whispering, "I love you, Storm. I'm so sorry… Please, don't lose hope. You have your whole life ahead of you…"

Salty tears formed in the child's eyes and her quickly brushed them away with his healthy arm. "Mom… I'll miss you…"

Cloud walked around the bed and sat down opposite Tifa. "Don't worry, Storm. We'll be with you every step of your life. You'll never be alone, okay?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked up at the father he'd never known. "O-okay, Dad."

A smile crossed the elder blond's face. "I'm glad. Even though I wasn't there for you in life, I'll always be here and I'll always be your dad."

Storm shifted from his mother to throw a one-armed hug around his dad. Tifa moved with him to hug the both of them and Cloud wrapped an arm around each of them. The small, broken family stayed together, embracing one another while their friends and family watched the young boy move and speak with nothingness.


*BlinkBlink* Okay, that's the end… Wahhh!

Special thanks to fragmentsofmemories16 for the ending. I was going to end it on his death, but she gave me the idea of having them reunite in the Lifestream. So blame her for Tifa's death. :P

Review?

-Valk