So this is a fluffier chapter. Very fluffy, so to speak. You have been warned.
He hadn't let her go.
Not really.
But the pain of it was still there; the feeling like he had been ripped from her life and he left her standing all alone in the middle of a war she didn't know how to fight. There was nothing to describe the sinking feeling that she felt, the feeling of her heart descending into the murky depths of the ocean that he had loved and lived in.
Artemis stared down at the body of her lover, completely empty inside with his mind in disarray. Every part of her body was screaming out for her to take him into her arms and hold him and whisper sweet words and gentle reminders into his ear until he remembered who he was, and who she was, and who the team was, and who they were fighting for.
Artemis wanted Kaldur to look up at her with eyes of recognition, eyes that spoke to her very soul.
But his eyes didn't move. And even if they had, they wouldn't know her. The would be blank, vacant, unseeing to everything around him and looking as if it nothing wasn there. He was lost.
Lost to her.
He would never had let her go, but he didn't have the choice.
So Artemis—Tigress—stayed by his bedside for long hours. When she could. She was an assassin (or so they thought), a skilled fighter, and one of the strongest members onboard Manta's ship. She was valuable, and she couldn't be wasting away by Kaldur's side day and night. She needed to leave him, every now and then, even if she didn't want to.
It hurt her.
She had let him go.
Always giving him a backwards glance just before she left his room, wanting to say so much to him, but couldn't. It would be like speaking to a gravestone. Blank and empty, not seeing and not hearing.
Sleeping alone in bed was the worst of it all.
She had become so dependent on Kaldur, of him always there by her side, to comfort her. To caress her when her body ached from all the training, to kiss her when she felt miserable, to cuddle her when she felt like the world was breaking down all around her and she hadn't any place to go. That was what she felt when she was alone in bed.
Lonely. And though she would never admit it, fear. And panic and endless melancholy as she thought of Kaldur laying dead-eyed in bed.
She didn't blame Megan, though. She couldn't. She was a strong physic who had taken to melting the minds of her victims, so she did have her faults. But she had been lied to, had been made to believe that Artemis was dead and that Kaldur had killed her in cold blood. Megan had wanted revenge, had wanted to soothe the pain in her heart of having to grieve for a dead friend. She wanted Kaldur to pay for what he had done.
How could she have known Kaldur was a double agent, with her right by his side?
But Artemis wanted to blame her.
If she did, she felt that there would be an outlet to her rage and pain. If she could focus all those negative emotions on Megan, then maybe she could find some peace. Let out all her hate, until she was emptied and all that was left of her was a blank space to fill with new emotions all over again.
Thoughts of screaming and yelling at her, maybe even smacking her upside the head. Maybe even making her cry. But Artemis just couldn't hold onto the thought. Megan, one of her best friends…
She found herself at Kaldur's bedside once more, looking at his face, searching his features for some sign that he was still in there, still watching the world and waiting to wake up. But not a twitch or a blink could be found on his face. Artemis had placed her mask on her lap, so the concern etched on her face was seen by all who ever entered the room.
Even when Black Manta himself slid the mechanical door open, and stepped inside to help nurse his son, Artemis didn't even move. She had heard him approaching, but she didn't care. The sound of his approach rang on ears almost as dead as Kaldur's.
Black Manta took in the scene around him, of Kaldur'ahm laying broken in bed, and Tigress practically mourning at his bedside. Grief was etched onto his face all the while, just as it marked Tigress' features. He noted how close the two of them were.
He had almost caught them in the act, one time.
When the two of them had been in a quiet, secluded spot, he had been searching for Kaldur'ahm to give the next set of orders to. He had always been prideful of his son, and welcoming to Tigress—his hand-picked right hand—but he hadn't completely expected anything to be going on between them. If he ever had thought that way, it must have been buried deep within his brain.
Kaldur'ahm and Tigress, the image of them standing in a dark room where the water of the deep oceans gave little light. His armor undone, and his head relaxing up against her breast. Her hands on his shoulders, hugging him to her body. And the look the two exchanged, as they leaned gently forward, lips parting…
Just before Black Manta had ruined the moment.
"Tigress," Black Manta said, calling her attention to him.
Her ears twitched at the sound, and she listened to what he was about to say, but she didn't remove her eyes from Kaldur. She felt like it would be a sin, to not look at him and keep watch over him. It would be like she was abandoning him, leaving him vulnerable. But when Black Manta called her name—well, her title—again, she knew that he wanted her to look at him.
"Yes, sir?" she asked him.
With a sigh, he stepped up to her, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I know you want to stay here with Kaldur'ahm. I truly do understand your reasoning. If I could stay by his side day and night, I very well would."
Artemis opened her mouth to say something, but the words died in her throat. She didn't have anything to say, couldn't think of anything that would ease the burden of Kaldur's condition. Pulling her eyes away from him, she focused her attention back to Kaldur again, wishing with everything she had in her that he would wake up, and break the spell he had been put under.
But his mind was in ruins. What could possibly fix that?
As if reading her mind, Black Manta spoke up once more, answering her question.
"You should know, I have arranged for the physic Simon to come and help heal my son. Put his mind back together."
Artemis' eyes widened, both out of shock and fear. Simon roaming around within Kaldur's mind would put the whole mission in jeopardy, and that was a risk they couldn't take. But also inside of her, hope sprung up. If she could have Kaldur back, she…
No, that couldn't happen.
Not ever.
It would be better for Kaldur to remain in his vegetated state for years this way than to have Simon digging through his mind, sorting every single thought, exposing every secret and shadow. All the hidden parts of him coming to light.
Perhaps Megan can restore his mind, Artemis thought. It was if a desperate fever had taken hold of her. Megan is far stronger than Simon. She could rebuild his mind. And it would be far safer. Well, for us. If Megan were on board this ship, the consequences…
Tigress gave a shudder.
"Don't worry," Black Manta told her. "I know for sure that Simon can do this. His telepathic abilities are strong, and I haven't any doubt about his loyalty." His gaze turned from Tigress back to Kaldur'ahm. "We will have him back. That I guarantee."
Yes, we will, Artemis thought, though she couldn't rid herself of the pit forming in her stomach. Dark and heavy, it weighted down on her. She thought of how she could get rid of Simon, and do so without blowing her cover. Megan would have to be the one to put his mind back together, that much she knew.
Staring down at Kaldur's blank face only made the pit heavier, the knot tighten to the point of physical pain. But still, she remained still and silent. They could all know of her love for Kaldur, for she didn't care how many people knew, but no one could know of her pressing dilemma—well, their pressing dilemma.
Megan, I'm counting on you.
Pale eyes met her once more.
A smile upon their lips in the dark of the night; Kaldur's mind whole once more. The damage having been done repaired once more, and the days having returned to as close to normal as they ever would be. So much time had Kaldur spent convincing his father that everything had gone back to the way it was.
Artemis leaned forward, and touched his cheek gently. Kaldur closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, his hand resting over hers.
They didn't say anything, for there was nothing to be said. Not in the dark of the night, where the air was so thick you could cut the tension with a knife, and every verbal attempt at communicating failed miserably. There were no words for this moment.
A rebuilt Atlantis needed no poems.
Artemis' thumb stroked his cheek, with a steady and even pace. She wanted to make him feel good, and her physical closeness and compassion was how she planned to do so. He needed to know that she was here, that he was not alone in this world, that Atlantis was not in ruinsm and that he was not broken or defeated. He was whole again.
That Artemis loved him all the same.
Out of everything in this mission, that was the biggest reveal of them all. A secret buried deep within them. The files, the information, the secrets and the lies and the coded documents being passed to the team back on land. All those were important, and they were proceeding well enough. There was plenty of reward in this hell of an undercover mission.
But Artemis had discovered one more thing that she had never expected to discover while on board the ship: she loved him.
He had been her boyfriend for a while, but now he was truly her lover. No, more than that. So much more to her than words could hope to express.
By the look in his eyes, the emotion on his face, the way he moved his head, Kaldur knew that too and thought the same thing she did. He loved her. If everything were to go wrong and there was nothing left of them; if they were tortured to death or forced to fight for their very lives, the realization would keep them whole.
When everything was said and done, the partnership between two terrible enemies broken for good with all their secrets and ulterior motives revealed for good, and they had returned back home, there was no telling what would happen then. Artemis hoped that it would remain the same, that they could still share the intensity of moments like this between them once more.
That when they were back safe (in another location aside from the cave that they still mourned for), that they would still be able to make love like the whole world was falling apart. Or maybe they would just sink back to what they had been; a boyfriend and a girlfriend, trying to make each other happy and having sex just for the fun of it. The only option was to wait and see what happened.
Without a word spoken, Artemis leaned into his body, and Kaldur wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace and stroking her loose hair. They hugged tightly, wanting to feel the beating of each others heart pounding against their chest. Kaldur kissed her gently on the crown of her hair, and whispered something in Atlantean.
His words were so quiet and soft.
As the time drifted on, Artemis and Kaldur shifted an inch at a time under the covers. Pulling the bedsheets over them, they lay flat down on the bed, a pillow for each of their heads. They said nothing, and did not close their eyes. They watched each other, eyes open the whole time. They knew that this would be stolen from them when the sun rose and everyone had to fulfill their duties to the ship once more. Carry out the orders of Black Manta and his army. So they stayed awake to make it last.
Kaldur moved forward on the mattress, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling her close to him once more. He kissed her everywhere; her lips, the tip of her nose, her eyelids, and across her forehead. Along her neck and on her shoulders, on her fingertips and on her wrist.
Never let me go, said each kiss.
Never let me go again.
