At the same time as all the Titan girls got together all the Titan boys were getting together.
Jinx started following down the hallway behind Robin pondering this. And the more he did, the more the newly masculinized Jinx thought that this was a very intriguing opportunity. Temporarily transformed into an exact, down to the molecule, copy of Wally's body and, naturally, wearing his ridiculous red and yellow suit, Jinx would fit right in amongst the whole pack of pretty boys that was the male half of the Titans roster. They would never know it was Jinx watching them or listening to them. What would they say about her to Wally?
And what did they do when the girls were all up in Starfire's room for one of their sleep overs?
Jinx smirked at the recollection of Argent's joking suggestion that maybe if she or Jinx could see them they'd see all the pretty boy Titans in their underpants having a pillow fight. Now, Jinx realized it would actually be possible to be there at the pillow fight. They wouldn't suspect a thing at the sight of "Kid Flash" being in the room. It would be like one of those Abercrombie and Fitch catalog scenes of nearly naked pretty boys wrestling only a hundred times better because the Titan boys were prettier than those dopy male models. And they all had better buns.
This was very important. Jinx liked boys to be slender, wiry athletic types. Always had. Maybe part of it was identifying with the outsiders. In society's establishment you had the great big football team jocks in school than the doughnut stuffed cops and at the pinnacle of it all huge barrel chested superheroes like Superman, Aquaman and Batman. That was the other side. Okay, there was Mammoth on her side at the Academy and the Hive 5 but in general, the skinny guys were the punk rockers and crooks and outsiders. Her friends.
On top of that, feminist Jinx felt perfectly justified in being just as demanding about boys as she saw boys being about girls. Jinx was uncompromising that, to earn her aesthetic approval, a boy had to be a slender athlete in olympian condition and have a terrific booty. This was essential. Over the years Jinx developed into a sophisticated connoisseur of the masculine caboose, able to scan a busy street full of people while surrounded by the idiots in the Hive Five without them ever realizing that she had checked out every guy who'd gone by them. Many times she broke into the Jump City Opera House where the Jump City Ballet performed. High culture places always had crap security, And she spent entire performances checking out every white tight clad guy. Jinx knew exactly what she wanted in a boy and wasn't about to accept anything less than a slender, athletic guy with a booty to die for.
So, it didn't hurt that Kid Flash was exactly that kind of boy with the roundest, tightest buns Jinx had ever seen. Jinx's resistance to the words of this red and yellow clad hero boy had been attacked on multiple levels. There was the whole shocking thing of actually being valued, being seen as special by a hero in a way that even her villain colleagues didn't somehow see. Were they freaking blind?!
And the boy was cute.
He was really cute, cute enough that it didn't even matter that the suit he wore was beyond ridiculous. Cute enough that she could actually like that he wore a suit like that. And when she knocked him out with the sign she got to inspect that boy's body. Hey, a villainess's gotta do her due diligence. This was an enemy's body, after all. He might have had a utility belt or weapons or . .
He didn't have anything. He couldn't have. If the boy had had somehow squeezed a dime under that suit she'd have been able to read the date on it. There was just this ridiculous orange haired boy and his ridiculous rubbery unitard. And as she scrutinized every line, every muscle of this boy, Jinx shook her head. He was completely fat free, impossibly fat free. This had to be the super speed, the power. No normal boy could look like that.
Those abs! And, gods, his buns!
Mammoth had carried him back to their hideout, just casually slinging the pretty boy hero over his shoulder face down and Jinx had walked behind him all the way back. She'd made a big show of looking all around, being vigilant as they went down the usual maze of Jump City alleyways to the lair. Looking left and right let her repeatedly glance across the hero boy's backside. Eventually the glances left and right didn't go as far. Eventually she was staring right at this hero boy's buns. Finally, she at least waited till they were going through a particularly dark alley, before at last putting her hand to red curves and patting that impossible booty.
She caught her breath. They were real and they were spectacular.
After months of Mammoth, ugh, little Gizmo, ick, Wykkyd, ehh, disappointing See-More and, ewwww, Billy Numerous, after months of being around them, constantly seeing these boys who didn't do it for her, to see that boy in the red and yellow, wow.
But this feeling for this boy annoyed her as well as excited her. Should she throw away all she'd accomplished just because some hero boy with a pretty face and the biggest blue eyes and eyelashes most girls would die for and an incredible body that . .
Aarrgghh!
Just thinking about the boy was infuriating. Why couldn't they ever get a boy with a buns like at the academy? In the end, Kid Flash was the one who saw something more in her. She let him go. And like the stupid line, if you love someone set them free and if they love you too they'll come back to you. It wasn't only that the boy had the tightest, roundest buns on the planet. But it sure didn't hurt.
And because she loved him and he was just the sort of boy she found most attractive, she could notice but not pay all that much attention to the fact that all the other Titan boys were ridiculously cute, too. And they were nearly the same kind of boy. Tall, slender athletic with serious booties on all of 'em. Jinx had listened to Argent, in particular, making salacious remarks about how pretty Aqualad, Captain Marvel Junior, Robin and all of the others were. This new generation of hero boys all seemed to be lighter, leaner and more attractive than the generation before them.
Jinx liked to joke, when Argent or Arrowette or Wonder Girl was in a room with her and Wally, too, that Wally only contributed two things to society. And then she would point at his impossibly round impossibly tight speedster buns. Argent and the others would guffaw. Wally would always roll his eyes as if to say, "Do you have to do that?"
Now, temporarily transformed, it occurred to Jinx that it would be possible to scope out all the Titan boy talent in a way that had never really been possible before. Jinx would be like Argent's agent on the inside for the day or whatever that she was stuck like this.
So, Jinx's thoughts whirled as he walked with Robin to the elevator doors then went down with him to the gym in basement level 5. For a moment he filled with anxiety. What if they realize it's me? But a look at the orange haired speedster reflection in the shiny surfaces of the elevator quickly laid that worry to rest. That was Kid Flash's reflection. Flash himself would never be able to discern that it was really Jinx.
So, Jinx sighed with a feeling of relief. And then Jinx's thoughts returned to the original focus of curiosity. Just what did the boys do while the girls were having their usual party and sleepover in Starfire's room? Wally had never really said. He would just shrug and say nothing much or something like that. Occasionally he'd recount some bit of dumb gross out humor.
One time they had spread some kind of super prickly heat powder in Robin's jock 15 minutes before they knew he was going to be talking on the sort of super skype communications center screen. From the waist up, Robin maintained his composure. Down below he looked like he was try to swat and dance out a fire. The problem with this prank was that, though Robin's super uptight facial expression as he tried to control the feelings of fire at this crotch, was the same as it always was.
Other times there had been attempts to trick Beast Boy into eating meat and his puking at each close call. It was all kind of dumb and she, when she was a she and not a he, as a downward glance at the red and yellow reflection in the stainless steel elevator door indicated was clearly the case now, had felt justified in perhaps overstating a bit just how sophisticated the talk was at the girls' get togethers and denigrating the boys'. But, still, Jinx was curious.
Just . . what did they do?
Just what did they talk about?
When the elevator stopped at B5, basement level five, carved into the rock of the island, Jinx followed Robin out of the elevator. He was several inches taller than the Boy Wonder now and smirked slightly at being able to look over the black haired Titans leader's head as they walked. But then a worrisome thought occurred to Jinx. Robin and Wally were best friends. No contest. No one else was even close. Robin always sat on the other side of Kid Flash at public ceremonies or dinners. They even did that weird guy best friends thing where sometimes they'd sit in a room for hours and never say anything to each other, not a single word. Jinx thought he knew just how they acted with each other. But what if they were different toward each other when she wasn't around?
Jinx stared at the handsome but short Titans leader walking in front of him as they went through the maze of hallways, trying to figure if this should be played any differently than how Wally had always acted with Robin in front of her. Robin was obviously walking to the gym door. They'd passed some smaller rooms and the boys' and girls' locker room doors. The little bat was proceeding in his usual bouncy march. Jinx smirked and before he could stop himself, his hands could move so fast now, he had patted Robin's buns underneath his cape.
Jinx's blue eyes went wide with alarm. Oh my god! What did I just do?!
But the Titans' leader never broke stride or even looked toward the speedster.
"You . . look like you're completely over that ankle injury from that explosion at Chang's backup lab," Jinx offered as casually as he could in belated explanation.
"Yeah, high ankle sprains are a bitch but I'm past it now," replied the little bat over his shoulder.
Jinx waited but there was nothing more. No surprise whatsoever from the boy wonder. He just kept going.
Then there was confusion.
So . . do they . . pat each other's asses so often that neither one would think anything of that? What the . . ?!
"Guys!" Jinx sighed to himself and kept walking, just happy that he hadn't somehow blown their cover. They would have to get through this night and then tomorrow they'd try to get hold of Z and figure out just what the fuck had happened that Wally was now a sorceress and she was now a unitard wearing super speedster he. With another slight sigh, Jinx resolved to just play along. What else could be done in this ridiculous interlude into, he glanced down at the stupendous red bulge, the land of -XY?
And play was the right word, certainly initially. Once past a certain door, overlapping laughing and shouting voices could be heard from the gym now and after he and Robin pushed through another pair of doors, Jinx saw Beast Boy, Aqualad, Speedy, Captain Marvel Junior, Hot Spot and Herald were playing dodge ball across the length of the gym floor. Captain Marvel Junior whipped the ball at high speed and bounced it off the back of Hot Spot's head. The Moroccan teen turned angrily toward the hero from Fawcett City but before his notorious temper got going, the others all stopped and pointed at the sight of Robin and Kid Flash entering the gym and everyone agreed to choose up teams again.
Robin and Speedy automatically stepped forward as captains. Jinx noticed that they all just took it for granted that those two should be captains. They started picking teams.
Speedy chose Captain Marvel Junior.
Robin chose Aqualad.
Speedy picked Herald.
Robin picked Hot Spot.
Speedy looked at Kid Flash and Beast Boy, his expression decidedly not enthusiastic. "Um . . okay, I'll take Gar."
Jinx raised an orange eyebrow.
Last?! I'm picked last?!
Oh, come on! I have super speed! How can I be picked last?! I'm not a better athlete than freaking Gar?! Yes, he's six feet tall now but . . come on! How much of a pathetic nerd do they think Wally is?!
"Okay, then Wally's with me," said Robin and right away the game began. And Jinx found out part of why Kid Flash was picked last. Right off the bat, Jinx got the ball and whipped a 150 mile per hour fastball into Speedy's crotch. The archer dropped to his knees wincing as guffaws echoed around the gym. "Christ, speedster. You know the rules. That was way too fast for no power!"
Jinx looked around the gym. All the others were nodding in agreement with Speedy.
"Sorry . . . I guess I wanted to show I shouldn't be picked last."
Oh. No powers.
Speedy stayed in the game and they kept playing. And Jinx was surprised at what complete fun it was. The others were surprised at how well "Kid Flash" was playing. They remarked that he was much more competitive then usual. At one point, the speedster was the only player left on Robin's team. Speedy's team was all throwing dodge balls at him at the same time. But the red and yellow unitard clad speedster did a back flip that continued into a cartwheel to get away from four throws at once and to then catch two more throws and get Herald and Captain Marvel Junior out of the game. Jinx saved his team.
Jinx's teammates cheered. They were grateful. Robin and Hot Spot casually patted Jinx's new speedster butt as they celebrated. Jinx shook his head slightly. Seriously?!
They all played another game and then another after that. The gym was filled with joking taunts and comic bravado. And Jinx could tell they were surprised that Wally was such a force. Aqualad even remarked, with an arm around Jinx's yellow clad shoulders, about how great it was to see Wally giving it his all.
So, Jinx reasoned, Wally doesn't usually go all out in these games. Hmmph. Fine. So what? I know he's not a jock. Jinx let the matter drop. It was easy to forget with all the laughing fun they were having. And then when the last game was over, everything dissolved into a wrestling match as first Captain Marvel Junior and Aqualad were matched, the two strongest, then it seemed like everyone was wrestling someone half seriously, half comically. Jinx found himself jumped from behind by Speedy but threw the archer into Hot Spot with a perfect judo toss. Speedy looked momentarily shocked. He obviously wasn't expecting that move from "Wally".
Then, Jinx ended up locked in a contest of strength with Hot Spot. It was a pretty even match with both pushing as hard as they could. Finally Jinx intentionally let up, falling into laughter as Hot Spot quickly got him into a full nelson hold from behind. When Hot Spot was still holding him tight several moments later, Jinx cracked, "Enough already, Sa'id. This is getting a little homoerotic with you pressing against my buns like that."
As Jinx expected, Hot Spot quickly let go. There had been those persistent rumors, after all, about those beautiful brown eyes looking for attention on the down low besides his dates with Bumblebee. They were a publicly recognized couple now, Bee and Hot Spot. But there were still those rumors. On the down low. Speedy? So, the fire thrower had quickly let go of the speedster. The other wrestling matches were breaking up too.
"Sauna, guys?" suggested Beast Boy a few steps away from the group and now starting toward the boys' locker room door as he pulled off his top revealing an extremely well toned, nicely muscled green back.
Jinx saw a few glances go around the group followed by a couple nods. Instant consensus. Sure. Yeah.
Jinx scanned the group and a thought occurred to him that, just as hoped, the whole scene was unfolding like a page out of an old Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. Pretty boys playing at fighting. We are a pack of pretty boys, maybe the prettiest pretty boys on the planet, thought Jinx before quickly correcting himself. They! They're a pack of pretty boys. I'm just visiting in XY land. They're a pack of pretty boys.
It was true. There was no denying it. Hell, Beast Boy actually did some modelling now that he was six feet tall and the same growth spurt that had made him nine inches taller had been exceptionally kind to his looks, all cheekbones and brilliant garnet eyes and the standard issue slender athletic Titans physique. And he was only middle of the pretty pack in this bunch. They were all pretty boys. All of them. Pretty was like a superpower that they all shared. And what was weirder was that they really did all have the same physique with only slight variations. Tall, slender, good shoulders, excellent condition, narrow waist and a bubble butt.
Looking around the gym to confirm his position, Jinx decided that this was absolutely true. Okay, Hot Spot's buns were kind of flat, maybe civilian good, not Titan good. And Robin was still only five seven and change or five eight but he was just a scaled down version of all the others. Beast Boy was just over six feet tall. Aqualad and Captain Marvel Junior were both nearly six two. The others were all six foot one. They were all just slight variations of Jinx's favorite kind of boy. Jinx had never quite realized how similar the Titan boys all were till seeing them undress.
Jinx was just considering these thoughts, when he suddenly realized that he was starting to drift toward the boys' locker room behind the others. It suddenly struck him.
I'm going to see all the guys naked!
Ahahaha! If only Argent could see this!
Jinx wanted to laugh out loud but cleared his throat and composed himself thinking that it seemed unlikely that Wally would be chortling with delight at seeing the other guys naked. Along with being straight, he'd probably been in the locker room with them dozens or even hundreds of times now.
Jinx shuffled through the doors and around the bending hallway, now enclosed in tile, into the locker room. There they were, the Titan boys, all naked or soon to be. Jinx remembered one of Wally's abilities, going into a subjective rate of time passage for a short period of time. In short, if Wally was running or moving some part of his body super fast, even just twirling a finger in a circle, he could watch everyone around him barely moving and experience what felt like five minutes to him in just five seconds time experienced by everyone else.
Jinx twirled his thumb in a super fast circle. The guys all seemed to freeze in place. Green male model Beast Boy was ready for some nude shots but totally casual about it, seemingly frozen in place as he walked right past Jinx toward the sauna. Aqualad and Captain Marvel Junior were talking. Each had his unitard peeled down to his waist. It suddenly stuck Jinx that, even more than the others, these two pretty boys looked almost exactly alike. If they'd had the same color eyes and if CMJ's wavy hair was straight or Aqualad's hair was shorter and wavy, who could ever tell them apart? Just past them, Hot Spot was kicking his uniform aside toward his locker and Jinx saw that the stereotype of black guys being bigger between the legs was definitely not always true.
But just beyond him was a naked Herald and if a villain ever got his horn away from him there was a fair chance Herald would be able to open a dimensional portal with that. Ho-ly shit! Jinx was so taken aback he stopped twirling his thumb super fast for a moment and like a movie editing trick, everyone suddenly moved normal speed.
Jinx twirled his thumb super fast again. He shook his head staring just a little longer. Gods, Herald! Blue eyes then strayed down the line of lockers to Speedy. Not surprisingly, the archer had quickly stripped and was casually laughing at something someone else had said. Finally Jinx glanced at Robin right next to him. The boy wonder had taken off his cape, top and shoes. Jinx sighed. In his way, the little bat was very appealing.
Jinx almost felt like defending this to himself and recalled one of the recent girls only parties. They'd all been looking at a video clip of Captain Marvel Junior. It was the end of some fight in which nearly all of his uniform got torn off him as he fought a villain and used his body to shield some civilian bystanders. The dark haired boy had just barely gotten his hand down to catch a little of his tattered light blue uniform and hold it to his crotch but the side of his butt was just there for anyone to see. The girls had all crowded around Argent's laptop screen watching this with smiles of delight. But eventually Raven had said something to Jinx along the lines of "Excuse, me, aren't you married?"
"Married, not dead," had been Jinx's response. "The boy's beautiful."
And that was how Jinx regarded this now. It wasn't any betrayal of Wally to simply notice that his teammates were hot. And in his own way, Robin was as hot as any of them, short or not. Jinx still remembered the fixation with him back at the Academy. Other heroes were disliked. Nobody liked Superman. Aquaman was regarded as a jerk. Flash? Ehh. Kind of vanilla. Besides which, he had almost social relations with some of his villains. Nobody much disliked Flash. But they didn't exactly like him either. Batman was a different story. The Bat even though he was on the other side, was the one hero regarded as cool. There was something about him, a style, an edge that was just so different from establishment stiff Superman or monarch a-hole Aquaman. And then he suddenly had this shrimp sidekick. The sidekick was immediately and completely hated, in part, out of a sort of envy.
But the kids at the Academy saw more and more clips of him. Yes he was short, but the boy was awful good looking. And he became a sort of litmus test. The gay boys and the girls at the Academy openly hated, truly hated the boy wonder. Why? Jinx eventually realized that part of it was because they found him attractive and hated that fact. It got so that if there was a boy at the Academy that expressed special hate for Robin, Jinx felt certain that that boy must be gay.
The spiky dark hair and the whole way he carried himself. Commanding. Even at 11 or 12 years old he had a commanding way about him that none of the kids studying at the Academy could match. Maybe that was the essence of it. And for a bunch of wannabe villains, it was hard not to see someone just naturally oozing a commanding confidence and not find it appealing. To top it off, the boy was pretty. Seriously pretty. There was even hushed speculation about what color his eyes might be. He was a fixation for the boys and girls of the Academy. His prettyness was like a special form of torture for them.
Now Jinx glanced at him from a foot away as the boy wonder stripped. And while Jinx frantically tore off the garish red and yellow body coating of a uniform and the dance belt underneath, the jet haired boy wonder leaned in closer to him. Robin glanced furtively at the others, all naked, striding past to the sauna.
"Can I speak with you in private, Wally? I-I have to tell you something."
Jinx gave a shrug, sure.
Robin waited a moment till Aqualad and Captain Marvel Junior had stepped into the sauna. He took a deep breath.
"Look," he began. "I-I want you to know that I didn't try to make any of it happen, okay? None! It wasn't my idea at all. I-I totally respect what you and Jinx have. Totally."
Jinx frowned. What the hell was this?
"I . . I was up at the communications center. And before you even start, yes, I was making additional entries into the case files. Fine! But, that's when . . ," the boy wonder sighed, flustered. "That's when it happened, right before you got back. I think it was a truth or dare thing. I didn't try to make it happen. I swear! They tricked me. That's how it ever occurred. They blocked my mask. And I could smell Starfire. I thought it was Star, I swear."
"Dick. What happened?"
"I . . I kissed Jinx. "
"You what?!"
Robin totally misread Jinx's wide eyed reaction, launching into more justification. "I thought I was kissing Starfire. I think they even gave Jinx a piece of that Tamaranean gum that Starfire chews so her breath smelled like Star's. I wouldn't have kissed her. I certainly wouldn't have frenched her for that long. Our tongues . . ! I-I didn't know it was your wife! I swear."
Jinx leaned back, one hand over his mouth. Partly Jinx was trying to react in a way that would seem right for Wally. Partly Jinx was desperately trying to control her delight. Wally gets remade beautiful and kisses his best friend!
He. Kissed. Robin.
Jinx did a mental victory dance.
I will *never* let him forget this. Never! Did he say they frenched? He did, didn't he? Oh gods, I can't wait to get to use this.
"And the spanking was . . well, Star and I like to spice things up a bit now and then."
"You . . spanked my h-. . . . wife?!"
Robin again misread and went into a stammering explanation which Jinx barely followed. The notion that he and Star liked to "spice things up" was delicious enough. Wally getting his, her, whatever, getting Wally's ass spanked by his best friend was like delicious squared. Or was this up to delicious cubed at this point? This or the kiss, french kiss, actually, would have been enough to hold over his head forever. All of it? Oh happy day!
Jinx could barely control his delight and had to keep one hand over his mouth.
"You're not . . mad?" asked Robin.
"No," Jinx forced a sigh as though reluctantly accepting this information. "You-you were honest about it and I'm sure you weren't trying to disrespect us."
Robin gave a great sigh of relief and turned toward the sauna. Jinx needed an outlet for her joy at that kinky, embarassing situation and gave the black haired pretty boy a pat on his bare butt as he started away. Jinx stared at him walking. Without a cape to block the view, it was clear that the little bat had a booty perhaps only surpassed by . . Jinx ran his hands down over his own speedster hips.
That's when it started.
Tingle!
Jinx's blue eyes went wide.
What the f-?!
Jinx shot a glance downward.
No!
Jinx commanded it not to happen. Demanded that it not happen. Refused to allow it to happen. Forbid its happening.
It happened.
What the . . ?! Doesn't it listen to commands?!
As fast as a super speedster could, Jinx spun around to face toward his locker and grabbed a towel then shot another glance downward, not that visual evidence was really required. The sensations were incredibly strong and clear as to just what was going on. Ho-ly fuck! Is this what this is like?!
"I'm gonna do cold, first," Jinx mumbled over his shoulder at Robin now entering the sauna and then zipped at high speed to the adjacent shower room. He started one shower head spraying cold water and stepped underneath. All the while, the sorceress now speedster commanded this new body to do as told.
It wouldn't.
What.
The.
Fuck?
It didn't help that Jinx kept running it through his head that patting bare luscious little bat booty should not have been the cause of this much reaction. Gods! The safety was off and the gun was pointed and ready to fire. Just for noticing how good little bat's booty is?! Why can't I stop this-this stupid thing?! It's not like I jumped on top of him or Captain Marvel Junior or Aqualad!
Finally Jinx realized that adding in additional luscious Titan boy images was not helping.
Jinx gritted his teeth and stepped directly under the cool shower spray and spun the dial to make it ice cold. "Ahhh!"
Control Freak! Control Freak! Control Freak! Professor Chang! Professor Chang! Professor Chang! General Immortus! General Immortus! General Immortus!
Another minute of this anti-stimulating response and finally things had calmed . . down. Though the problem had still been blown out of proportion. It took yet another minute of ugly villain images and cold water for normalcy to be restored.
"Is this really what one of these things is like?" muttered an incredulous Jinx under his breath. "Talk about a sensitive trigger."
Finally, Jinx slammed the dial to the off position and stepped away from the shower letting cold water finish dripping off his naked speedster self. Jinx shook his head glancing out the doorway of the shower room at the sauna. How do I go in there with not one beautiful naked co-worker but seven of them? Jinx sighed and decided that it had only been touching the little bat that had been a problem. Just the same, Jinx picked up a towel on the way into the sauna and held it low in front of himself.
Jinx lost his breath stepping into the sauna it was so suddenly hot.
"Hey, drop all that on the rocks," said Beast Boy.
Jinx complied, letting the water drip off his pale skin and shaking his orange haired head slightly causing a loud hiss from the rocks in the center along one wall of the room. Jinx saw that the sauna off the boys' locker room was just like the one off the girls' locker room. Sort of rectangular shaped with smooth black rocks in a sort of metal container at the middle of one of the long sides of the room with wood benches on two levels forming stretched out letter C's surrounding it.
And there, casually naked, lounging on the wood benches, not one of them covering anything, were seven Teen Titans pretty boys. Jinx thought of how much Argent would like to be here to see this.
Jinx gave another glance around trying to figure where to sit. Wally would sit next to Robin, right?
And as Jinx was pondering, Aqualad's voice came from right in front of her. Aqualad sat front and center on the lower bench Beast Boy was off to the left end of that bench with Herald up above him on the second tier. Speedy, Hot Spot and Captain Marvel Junior sat in the middle of the upper tier bench. Robin sat on the upper tier to the right.
"Douse me, please, Wallace."
Of course, thought Jinx. He's an atlantean. Jinx grabbed the ladle from the water bucket near the rocks and poured a ladle full of water over Garth's head.
"Ahhhhhhh. Thank you, Wallace."
Jinx stepped up and sat a foot away from Robin on the upper tier bench. He spent the next minute or two nervously looking at the sweating pretty boys. Finally, desperate for a distraction from watching glistening drops roll down Captain Marvel Junior's skin, Jinx asked no one in particular, "So . . where's Cy? And Miguel and Manuel?"
"Cy's up in his room freaking out about his . . his gall bladder, I think," said Beast Boy.
"What's a gall bladder do anyway?" asked Hot Spot.
"It helps you digest fats," answered Robin.
"So . . does that mean that even if it goes bad, he can live without it?" asked Beast Boy.
Robin nodded. "Yeah, you can."
"So, why's he so bitchy about it? Christ, he says it's been failing ever since the accident," muttered Hot Spot.
"To him it's-it's him getting less human," answered Robin. "That's why he hates thinking of getting rid of it even if it hasn't been working right."
"We should all go up and talk to him afterward," said Beast Boy. "He isolates himself and he gets deeper and deeper into these depressed moods. It's not good for him."
"An excellent idea, Garfield," said Aqualad over his shoulder.
There were immediate nods all around. Jinx was impressed.
"And Miguel and Manuel are training with Flash," said Speedy after a pause. "You knew that. They said you were the one who set it up. Good to be trained by another speedster once in a while, you said."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot." muttered Jinx under a face palm gesture.
For a while, the guys talked about sports. Every minute or so one Titan boy or another would casually stride out of the sauna, not bothering with towels or anything, saunter over to the showers, stand under a cold spray for a minute then return. Jinx watched drops of sweat slide slowly down the perfect skin of the seven of them all the while worried that staring at his pretty boy colleagues would cause that uncontrollable reaction again. Once, when Captain Marvel Junior had gotten up and walked out Jinx had again compared the naked teen hero from Fawcett City to the naked atlantean and had been panicked that . . it . . felt like it was getting thicker but closing his eyes and forcing himself to think only of Control Freak had gotten . . it . . back to normal.
So, for a while, nothing. And Jinx stepped out of the sauna for another bout of cold water which he thought might have helped further . . calm things. He was just back to the sauna when a reclining Captain Marvel Junior sat upright.
"Hey, guys," he began. "I was trying to figure out what would be the best time to tell you this but I'm just gonna tell you. Okay? Ready?"
The others nodded warily, not sure where this was headed.
"Mary and I just got engaged!"
There were whoops and cheers, hearty congratulations all around and they all stepped in close to him and engaged in more homoerotic touching of the beautiful naked teen than Jinx thought possible for supposedly straight boys. A couple handshakes. A pat on the shoulders. A fist bump to his abs. A couple pats on the knee and, Jinx could not resist, the entire back of a hand pressed to the side of his magnificently tight butt. Jinx knew it was a mistake but couldn't resist. The boy was beautiful. He and Aqualad had a glow to their skin that women spent thousands of dollars over their lifetimes trying to simulate with cosmetics. He and the atlantean looked like they'd stepped off the canvas of a Maxfield Parrish painting. And he acted totally oblivious to his incandescent prettyness. Jinx couldn't resist.
But as a result, it happened again.
Tingle!
Jinx gritted his teeth, grabbing his towel and placing it over his lap while all the attention was still on Freddie, the guys all trying to get details. When'd you ask her? Did she say yes right away? When will you tie the knot?
Jinx snuck his naked speedster self out the sauna door and zipped to the shower furiously spinning the dial and starting the cold water spray gasping at the shock of the frigid water. Again, Jinx commanded it. He demanded that it obey.
A glance down confirmed what Jinx knew without looking.
It refused to obey.
Jinx sighed angrily. Seriously?! I . . I mean, come on! How do they deal with these stupid things?! Okay, there is a certain . . primitive pride in how big it is, but this is nuts!
Eventually, Jinx made his way back to the sauna resolved to not touch his beautiful, naked teammates no matter what. He sat down next to Robin again and chatted with him and Herald. After several minutes he spun his thumb quickly in a circle.
In bed once Jinx had asked Wally whose was biggest and whose was smallest of all the Titan boys. Wally had dodged the question. Jinx had pressed. Finally Wally had laughed and said that Herald was biggest but refused to put the other guys in any order. With what felt like minutes now between the passage of seconds, Jinx took the time to assess the eight of them. Herald was definitely biggest. But they were all shockingly well hung except for Hot Spot. Did being a hero make a guy's equipment bigger, Jinx wondered. There had been shudder worthy moments of the HIVE boys extending towel snapping fights outside the bathroom and even Hot Spot, just average size, was bigger than all of them. Seriously, did being a hero make a guy bigger?
Poor Hot Spot Jinx sighed. Flat buns and only an average . . thing. No wonder he's always mad about something.
Finally, even Jinx tired of watching glistening drops of water slide down the naked Titan boys' bodies and he checked back in to their conversation.
"Okay, here's one," said Beast Boy in an animated tone. "Today's question. What would you be doing if there were no heroes or villains and no powers?"
