Mello held his breath, and as the door reached the end of its journey, he felt it leave his lungs. He didn't know what he had been expecting. The apartment was completely burned. Wall's that were once white were black. The air smelled of smoke and other burnt things.
The steps he took as he entered the apartment made crunching noises. He entered the living room and felt his heart drop. Their couch, the ugly, patched up, puke green couch, they'd owned was now all but wood and springs. He didn't know why he felt like it'd meant so much to him. Maybe because it was the last place he'd seen Matt. He looked around and realized, very clearly, the fire did start in this apartment.
He turned toward where their T.V used to be and walked closer. He hesitated a moment before kicking the side of the stand off. His stomach twisted and he felt his knee's give. He fell to the ground and clutched his rosary. The only true thing showing what he was feeling.
Matt's games…all of them. His favorite consoles, gaming systems, countless number of games, they were all destroyed. Blackened and melted. They were the things Matt treasured. That made him so Matt.
With shaky hands he picked out a case to an old game. Probably the oldest of them by far. His thoughts drifted back to when he'd gotten Matt the game.
"Matt!" Mello yelled closing the door with his foot. He walked to the kitchen and set down the bags in his arms on the table. All but one of course. In it held one small game, one that meant a lot to the both of them. One they hadn't seen since Whammy's.
Mello had been looking for a new game for Matt. He was becoming a lot more distant lately, upset a little more maybe. Everything had been great since Matt had moved in, well up until now. He didn't want Matt to be regretting it or something. He knew it was probably just his imagination but he was going to get him something anyway.
When he'd entered "nerds r' us" he wasn't sure at all what he'd been looking for. He looked through the first person shooter's, zombies, and almost everything else. He was about to give up and just say "fuck it." When he came across one in the clearance rack. He had to do a double take when the title finally struck him.
The game. That goddamn game. It's was the first thing he'd ever gotten Matt when he moved into Whammy's. It was the only game Mello had ever played with Matt. The one that Matt had talked about for months. Then, he'd told himself it was because he was sick of Matt's whining. But he knew it meant more to him than that. The look on Matt's face was everything he'd been expecting except more.
Matt had stared at it open mouth until he'd taken off his goggles, something he almost NEVER did, and hugged Mello. The skin on skin had warmed Mello to the core. That must had been the first time the love wasn't innocent. When it'd turned into a burning passion.
He gripped his rosary tighter.
Matt had given him the rosary the very next day. It was something he'd had for awhile. He had explained he'd been nervous to give it to him, but that the game had meant so much to him he wanted to. Each gift meant more to them than it simply being gifts. Each gift was their heart. In more symbolical ways. After those days, everything had changed.
When they'd left, Mello took his rosary but Matt of course hadn't been able to take the game.
So when he came across it in that strange game store he knew he had to get it for him. He bought it with excitement and had came home early. Feigning finishing up too soon as an excuse. He couldn't let Matt know it was because he just really wanted to see him.
"What?" Matt yelled from the bedroom. Mello groaned and stalked into the bedroom, throwing it open with his boot.
"What the hell are you doing?" Matt asked eyeing the man who was grinning like a maniac.
"I got you something Matty." Mello purred hoping on the bed. Matt yelped when Mello tackled him.
"Wh-What are you doing?" Matt asked shakily.
"I got you something." Mello said. He pulled the bag from behind his back and shoved it in Matt's face.
Matt raised an eyebrow and Mello rolled off him so he could look inside. Excitement dwindled in every aspect of Mello and it made Matt extremely curious.
Matt sat up and adjusted his goggles. He looked at Mello and Mello rolled his eyes.
"Just open it." He pushed. Matt looked down to the small bag in his hands and without further hesitation ripped the game from it. At first he couldn't find the title, but when he finally did he'd froze.
Matt didn't talk for a long time and Mello thought that maybe he didn't like it. Hell, it probably only was sentimental to him anyway.
"Oh…my god." Matt breathed. Mello smiled.
"So…you like it?" Mello asked nervously.
"Like it? Holy shit Mello! Where did you find this?" He asked flabbergasted.
Mello shrugged embarrassed. "Just at an old game store. I saw it and I thought it'd be cool to have. You know, for old times sakes." He replied.
Matt's goofy smile spread across his whole face. It was in those brief moments where he saw that smile where it seemed like everything made sense. They made his heart beat fast and his stomach flutter. They were the only time Matt was void of his mask. And even though they only lasted a small while, he cherished them like they were the moon.
"Mello this is amazing. I…I could kiss you right now." He stated. After he'd said it his expression quickly changed. He regretted saying it because he saw the same uncomfortable way Mello got, and it really was a huge ego blow. He loved him for Christ sakes. It hurt.
He cleared his throat and diverted his attention back to the game cover, trying to rid his eyes of the tears.
"Thank you Mels." Matt breathed.
Mello shrugged and had gotten up to go out of the room. The rest of the day they'd ate pizza and played their game. Then they watched the sunset together. Best memory of his life.
He clutched the burned piece of plastic hard before chucking it at the wall. The crash it made against the wall was the only noise in the empty apartment. It hurt way too bad. The memories attached to that. He didn't want to see it ever again. He didn't want to admit to himself. He dropped his head into his hands and sighed heavily.
Each moment he sat on the floor in this old done for apartment he felt worse. Hurt more. Memories of his past life crashing down harder than he'd ever imagined it would.
On shaky legs he pulled himself off the ground. Not allowing himself to break until he'd seen the rest of the apartment. He had more self control than that dammit!
He turned and walked into the kitchen, no longer caring enough to be cautious. If he died for it, so what? How bad could that be right now?
Appliances were pulled from the wall's, caution tape slammed around them. The kitchen table and chairs were just ash on the ground now. He walked toward the window and frowned.
It had been busted in. A crow bar lay to the side of the broken glass and a crime scene evidence number was placed by it. Following the number's he walked behind their stove and froze. Gas line had been cut. Chain cutters lay just as discarded as the crowbar.
"Do you know anyone that's want to hurt Michael?"
So that's what they meant by that? What the hell was this? Some burglary? He kneeled by the window and examined the glass. His problem solving brain again taking over. There was a small amount of blood and fabric on a small piece. Only enough to be a scratch, something that would have probably gone unnoticed by the intruder. The guy was probably huge.
A pain tore through his heart. His Matt may be incredibly smart, but by no means was he muscle. Not that he couldn't kick practically anybody's ass, but guys that were huge, and he's putting emphasis on the multiple, than he'd would have been screwed.
He felt himself becoming angry in himself. This was his fault. No way anything like this would have happened if he'd been here. He would have shot someone before they touched a hair on Matt's head.
He stood up and swallowed hard. The lump in throat refused to go down and he sniffled. He felt so utterly pathetic. Here he was trying to protect him and all he did was get him killed. What kind of person does that for someone they love?
He clenched his fists and forced himself out of the kitchen and back through the living room to the bedroom. He started wondering why Matt had stayed in this apartment. He should have wanted to move. To be as far away from Mello as he could.
He wished Matt hated him. He wished he hadn't felt the way Mello had. Does. Because he still loves him with everything he is. It wasn't fair what he put Matt through, and he knew that.
He pushed open the charred door and slugged his way in. He sat on the spring bed and brought his knee's to his chest and buried his head down. For the first time since he left Matt, he let himself cry.
He hated crying. It made him feel weak and he hated feeling weak. He had always made himself strong. For his dogs. For himself. For Matt.
His heart hurt. He wished he could have told Matt. Before he died. Told him how he loved him. He stopped crying and lifted his head.
Duh.
He wiped the remaining tears from his face and dropped his knee's. He left Matt a note. One that told him all his feelings. Not anymore or less of what was necessary. Something so completely him. He wondered if he found it. No, he begged he'd found it. Taking a deep breath he opened the dresser drawer. It was a miracle the thing had survived in one piece.
The dresser made a scratching noise when it opened. The only sound in the apartment other than the echoes of his previous sobs. It was a good break. A sound so completely welcomed in the silence.
With shaky hands he pulled out the bottom and froze. The color quickly faded from his face.
The notebook, perfect and unburned lay there. Just as new as when he bought it. So that meant…
Everything started to fall in place after that small fraction of a moment. He ripped his hand back as if it burned him and brought it up to his mouth. He let out a small noise and shut his eyes.
No. No fucking way.
Images of the past two days flashed through his eyes.
"Is…is he dead?"
"We…believe so."
We believe. Believe. That was it. That was the biggest flaw in it. Something he should have seen so clearly. But he hadn't. How had he not?
It just proved that Mello couldn't be without Matt. Not only is he too smart for his own good, he's in more danger with Mello gone. Hell, Mello's in more danger with Mello gone.
He felt like a weight lifted off his chest. For the first time in what seemed like forever he thanked god. He'd never felt so good about being manipulated in his entire life. Don't get him wrong, he was still pissed at himself for not seeing everything sooner. Everything was so flawless. And nothing is flawless. Nothing except Matt.
And that's how he knew. How Matt had been behind it. It was just like him.
He let his hand drop and felt himself chuckle.
Dummkopf…
"Oh…my god." He breathed looking to the ceiling. He sat there for what seemed like forever. His stomach was in knots and he was almost in shock. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he would have thought he was dying. But he knew better. He wasn't dying. He was being brought back to life.
"Hello Matt." He said hoarsely.
Pause. Silence.
"Hello Mello."
... Oh my goodness. Well, was that not a good reunion or what? I figured I needed to show how skilled Matt really was. So Review and tell me what you think! Did I do good? Or did I do good?
