The chariots in front of me and Axl slowly disappeared through the large door. Each time they did a roar of cheers erupted, making my entire brain feel like it was rattling. District Five went through the door and I braced myself to be next. When the chariot finally jolted forward I took in a deep breath, steadying myself. Fierce and determined.

I set my jaw and kept my eyes focused forward. We were outside in seconds and the crowd erupted. I wanted to look over at them. I couldn't truly believe they were cheering for me. Me. Castilla Shan. The girl who stole straight from peoples' homes.

Beside me Axl moved a bit, and I realized he was waving. Idiot. Lincoln had told us to look like the best. Not like tributes who were trying to beg for votes.

Suddenly Axl wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I reacted before thinking. I shoved him away from me angrily. For that second I wasn't on the chariot. For that second I wasn't on TV for all of Panem to see. For that second I was only focused on getting Axl away from me. I couldn't believe he thought he could do that! But it was the reaction of the crowd that drew me back. There had been a mix of gasp and screams. Axl was composing himself, standing back straight and quickly wiping the shock off his face. He chuckled a bit and gave the crowd a reassuring wave that he was alright. Some of them laughed, but others seemed concerned.

I wasn't fairing as well as Axl. I was frazzled. What had just happened? Our chariot pulled up beside District Five and it didn't take long for District Seven to pull up beside us. I was trying to stand tall. I was trying to look determined and fierce. But all I could think was the Capitol was going to hate me just like District Six did. And just like a year ago Axl was going to be seen as the poor innocent guy I bullied around.

Finally our chariots were pulled away from the cheering crowd and cameras and we were free. I ripped the heels off my aching feet before the chariot even came to a halt. All the escorts and mentors were rushing to their tributes. Mirka and Lincoln came storming to us, both looked furious.

"What the hell was that!?" Lincoln shouted before he even reached us.

I became vaguely aware of everyone else in the room turning to look at us. Luckily Lincoln was smart enough not to make much more of a scene. Instead he grabbed my shoulder and guided me out of the room and toward an elevator. Mirka and Axl weren't far behind us.

As soon as the elevator doors closed Lincoln spoke again. "What the hell is the issue between you two? I get you've had some sort of past but you've got to drop that. The Capitol won't like either of you if they think you'll turn on each other. They like a good show, but not District partners turning on each other before the games even start!"

"The history is simple," I snapped, "Axl is a jerk and I hate him."

Axl wouldn't look at me. Instead he was staring harshly at the buttons on the elevator and clearly biting his tongue. He had always been good at keeping is mouth shut when it was convenient for him.

"Look, I talked to people around the District about the voting. Axl got the votes from those who knew his dad was a raging Morphling and figured it was only a short amount of time before he turned out to be just like him. You, Castilla, got the votes because you were publicly whipped for stealing food from fifteen homes! I knew even before the reaping and I'm sure you did that it was going to be your name on that slip of paper. I was thinking you were going to be a loss cause, and that you would be unruly and impossible. But I was pleasantly surprised when I found out I might actually be able to make a Victor out of you. Until... until..."

"Until now," I finished for Lincoln. "Because I pushed him off me?"

"You nearly knocked him out of the chariot." Mirka chimed in. I wanted to scream at her. She was so clueless!

"I was alright," Axl spoke up. We all looked at him, he wasn't looking at us, the buttons on the elevator were still apparently very interesting as the number of our floor finally lit up. The doors opened but none of us moved. "I was dumb, I shouldn't have put my arm around Cas. I knew she wouldn't like it but I thought the Capitol would so I tried it. It's my fault not Cas's."

My jaw was dropped opened. I couldn't believe it. Axl was actually taking responsibility for something. The doors to the elevator closed and it was Mirka who dived forward to open them again before the elevator changed floors. She stood tapping her foot waiting for us to move or say something. Finally I spoke.

"I'm sorry I pushed Axl in the chariot," I said to Lincoln. I couldn't bring myself to thank Axl. Part of me wanted too, but I didn't feel he actually deserved my thanks. Not yet. Axl shrugged then left the elevator when he realized I wasn't going to give him a response. I followed him out and Lincoln wasn't far behind. The elevator opened into a small room with two large doors.

"This suite is all yours while you're here. You're welcome to use everything inside." Mirka opened the door to the right and held her arms out to present the glamorous suite to us.

I stood back and took in the room. A couple people set a long glass table to my left. To my right was a lounge room with sleek leather chairs and a large TV screen up on the wall. Ahead of me were more large doors that I assumed opened up into bedrooms and bathrooms. Axl walked over to the table that was being set and looked over all the colorful fruits already set in the middle. I went to join him, and the people setting the table looked over at us. One of the men was extremely pale, but he's eyes were beady and black, making him scary looking. Mirka rushed over to us and snapped her fingers at the man. He jumped back into action and finished taking the food off the carts and placing it on the table.

Avoxes. These people were Avoxes. I had studied them in school. I shivered. They had had their tongues cut out; and I had thought my punishment was bad. At least I could still speak.


After we all ate dinner I announced I was going to sleep; despite it not being that late. Lincoln, who looked horrible, agreed and left quickly. That left Mirka and Axl. I grinned. "Well Axl, I guess that means you get to keep Mirka company."

"Oh, lovely!" Mirka chimed. Axl glared up at me. I winked at him then turned on my heel quickly before Axl could protest. Mirka was already talking about a new hair color she wanted to try. I grinned at my small victory of getting away from Mirka first as I entered the room that had been pointed out to me as mine. It was a circular room. A large bed was set to the left, ahead of me was a window that stretched up the entire wall. I walked over to it. We were several floors up. A few lights started to flicker on as the sun started to set. I sat down on the floor and watched as it got darker outside and more and more lights in the giant city surrounding me came on. It was actually very pretty. I had never seen anything like it before. A large TV screen was farther down in a small city square. I could make out that it was a ranking chart. Capitol Citizens were already betting on who had the best chance of winning. I couldn't read anything it said but I knew my name was on their somewhere. Probably at the bottom.

I sighed and entered the bathroom attached to my circular room. I ripped off the tire dress I had been wearing for entirely too long and stepped into the shower. I washed away all the makeup, and by time I was finished I was exhausted. I dried off lazily and when I went back into the bedroom I was relieved to find my normal clothes sitting on top of the dresser. I pulled the book page out of my pocket, checked that it was still ok, then set it down on top of the dresser. Inside the dresser was pair of pajamas waiting for me.

Now in silk pajamas I crawled into the large bed. It was worse than the one on the train because it was too soft. I sank deep down into the mattress, the pillows were squishy, and the blankets were too thick. It was all too nice.

I laid there in the too soft bed and started to cry. I missed my bed and my pillows and my blankets. I missed my pajamas and I missed my room. I missed my food and the vegetable soup mom would splurge on once a week because she felt everyone needed a hearty meal once a week.

I cried because I actually missed my mom. I missed my Grandpa. I missed Ulric. Thinking of him made me cry even harder. I slammed my fist into the stupid squishy pillows because it was all so unfair. It was unfair that I was trapped here. It was unfair that Ulric and Grandpa were back home worried about me. I cried and screamed and punched the pillows because I imagined Ulric sitting in the corner of his bed, hidden behind the door, playing cards all by himself. I cried and screamed and punched the pillows because he'd have to walk to school by himself trying his hardest to ignore the beggars on the streets.

I was sick of laying in that bed. It seemed to only make things worse. I started to pace the room to calm myself. But it didn't help. My breath still caught painfully in my chest and I couldn't stop thinking of home. I picked up the page of the book Grandpa gave me and sat by the window to use the light from the city to read it by. I read the front and back twice, or what I could make out of it because some of it was faded away. It made me smile. Faith. Grandpa had faith in me. It seemed like Lincoln did too. I just had to prove it to both of them.

I kept the page tightly tucked in one palm and found the smallest of the blankets to wrap around myself before I left the bedroom.

The sitting room had no lights on but the TV was playing. It was a recap of the tribute parade. I walked quietly over to the couches to find Axl stretched out across one. He was wearing a matching set of silk pajamas and looked just as exhausted as I felt. He hadn't heard me walk over. I glanced up at the TV. It was turned down but the screen showed District Seven dressed in brown singlets and wrapped in vines. Good, it was already past District Six. I didn't want to see myself on TV again.

I cleared my throat, Axl glanced up at me lazily.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked.

"No," I answered as I curled up in the large black armchair.

"Me either. It's all a lot to take in."

"I miss home," I admitted. Axl stayed quiet and continued to watch the parade. He was thinking hard, I could tell. I looked down at the page in my hand. I had to say something. Anything. I couldn't continue on like this. I needed to know what Axl was thinking. And not just about missing home or the parade; I needed to know what he thought about everything. But I didn't know how to ask. I couldn't bring myself to address the major issues.

So instead I blurted, "Did you bring a token?"

"No." Axl said without looking away from the TV. District Nine was now being showcased.

"Did anyone come to tell you goodbye?"

"No." He didn't sound like he cared much.

"Not even Viktor or Irisa?"

"Nope."

I waited a moment, thinking about what to say next. If I even really wanted too say anything else to him. "I stole sixty dollars before the reaping."

Now Axl was interested. He sat halfway up to look at me, something mischievous glinted in his eye.

"My family needed the money before I left so I went and got some," I explained.

"From where?" Axl asked. He sat up fully and gave me all his attention.

"A couple different places," I said, "I don't feel great about it. But I needed to help my family before I left. So I just went and did it."

"You just went and did it? Just like that? Like nothings changed? What would you have done if you were caught, Cas?"

I shrugged. "Voting was over by then. And I decided a long time ago if people were going to treat me like a thief and scum then that's who I was going to be."

Axl frowned at me. It wasn't a sad frown but a curious frown. "So you've still been stealing stuff? You never stopped after... after everything."

"Once in awhile. But only when we got really desperate. Haven't you?"

"No."

"Bullshit!"

"I haven't. Honestly!" Axl insisted with a chuckle. I narrowed my eyebrows and studied him. He didn't seem to be lying.

"What do you think our chances are?" I finally asked.

Axl looked back up at the TV for a moment. District Eleven was on the TV in overalls and fruit hats. I watched Axl, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Finally he signed. "Districts One and Two are getting stronger every year, and I think District Four will join them this year. There's no little kids with us so it might be more competitive than previous years."

"You didn't answer my question," I said.

"From where I'm sitting, the odds aren't great, Cas," Axl admitted. I looked up at the TV too. It was District Twelve. Both tributes were too thin and too frail. I had to remind myself that no matter how bad my odds looked there was always someone else with worse odds.

Axl turned the TV off and jumped to his feet. He held his hand out toward me. I looked at it questioningly.

"Come on, I want to show you something," Axl said. I reached forward and let Axl pull me out of the chair. He lead me toward his room.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I found them on the train. Mirka saw me messing with them and I asked her if I could take them. She was a bit reluctant at first but eventually she caved." Axl flipped the light in his room on and it took my eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden blinding light. When they finally adjusted Axl was walking back toward me holding a deck of brand new shiny blue playing cards.

"No way!" I said excitedly. Playing cards. New, shiny cards.

Axl grinned, "I knew you'd like them. Can you still throw them?"

"Yeah," I breathed, but I wasn't thinking about throwing these. I stepped forward and took the cards from Axl. "Ulric would love these. They're so sleek."

"I was thinking, you've always been good at throwing cards, what do you think about knives or stars? They always have some in the games."

I flipped the cards over in my hands, only half hearing what Axl was saying. I was too busy thinking about Ulric. "No I suck with knives," I muttered.

"You've tried?" Axl asked.

"A bit," I said. I sat down on the bed and started sorting the cards out the way Ulric always did. Axl sat beside me and started to help.

"Are you going to take Lincoln's advice and make the tributes think you have some sort of secret? Something that makes you dangerous?" Axl asked.

"I'm not really sure how to do that," I said.

Axl chuckle., "No me neither."

"I guess we could always take the cards," I said. Axl frowned at me, clearly confused, so I explained. "I'll just casually throw the cards around here and there. Remember how I made that one zoom by Irisa's ear. I could do that in the training center. That might freak some of them out, knowing I can throw something so close to them. Of course I have to do it right first try or I'll just look like and idiot."

Axl chuckled and swiped an ace away from me before saying, "I don't even know where to start with training. It's bad but I've never thought about it before. I always felt the odds were in my favor. My name was only going to be in the bowl seven times this year. Then the twist happened."

"It sucks," I agreed. I spotted the red five card I had been looking for and moved it to it's right spot before speaking again. I didn't want to look at Axl when I said what was on my mind. "The ironic thing is we use to steal food and money and things to trade so we wouldn't have to add our names to the bowls more. We thought it would keep us safer, but stealing is exactly the reason my name was in there this time." There was a heavy silence. I had to ask. "Why did you let me take the blame?" I looked up at Axl. I didn't want too, but I had to see what he was saying really was true.

He winced but he seemed to know the question would come eventually. He fiddled with the card in his hand.

"I want to truth," I said sternly, "Don't feed me that line that you where going too. You were there when I was being cuffed to the pole. I saw you. The Peacekeepers called everyone out of the shops before they started because they wanted to make an example of me. The more people who witnessed it the better. And I saw you there, Axl. You just watched."

Axl glared down at the cards on the bed before swiping his hand angrily over them and scattering them across the floor. He stood up and walked over to the window, refusing to look at me. I clinched my fist. He had zero reason to be mad. He should have been feeling guilty and awful, but not mad.

"Axl!" I said angrily.

"What do you want me to say, Cas?" He snapped. He finally turned to look at me. "Do you want me to say I screwed up? Do you want me to say I'm a shitty person? Because I've always been a shitty person and you know that! That never changed! What happened wasn't on me. I told you not to take the food back. You knew the risk. I'm sorry everything turned out alright for me and not for you. I'm sorry that Mr. Carmichael vouched that I was with him all morning. I'm sorry you got fired at work and I didn't. But I'm not sorry that I didn't step forward. We always said that if one of us was caught we wouldn't rat each other out; but you did, Cas."

I felt numb. My whole body seemed to buzz. I didn't know if it was anger, confusion, both, or neither. But I felt numb and I didn't know what to say. I had never expected to get answers from Axl. A year ago I had never planned to see him again. But I had just gotten his answer and I wasn't prepared for it.

I stood up and started to walk out of the room. I wanted to be alone. Axl called for me to stop but I didn't. I slammed the door behind me and rushed to my room. With the door closed and the room dark I curled up on the bed, but I wouldn't let myself cry again. I had cried too much that night. Had it been my fault my world went to hell? Had it been my fault I was the outcast. If I had just taken the punishment without trying to say it was Axl who stole the food would he have confessed afterwards? Would I have been the one everyone felt bad for afterwards? Would I have been seen as an innocent victim? Would I be home right now if I had just kept my mouth shut? It was all too much to think about.