A.N~ Just a short chapter ^^ Not much to say except…. DONE MY EXAMS BITCHES! \(^o^)/! Never been so happy in my life! SUMMER! This means more UPDATES! XD I had to add this just as a celebratory update! XD

OKAY! I want to thank BadButt94, XxDamned ForeverXx, XXXwallflowerxxx, myperversities(anon), and yaoi4596(anon)

DISCLAIMER:…. Do I really seem like the kind of person who should be in charge of Yasha and Sesshy's fate ^^…?


"And I'm waiting for the day…
…What am I waiting for…?"

~Hold on – Agnus and Julia Stone~


Chapter 7: Awake and Alive

To say Koga felt terrible would be an understatement. He felt as if his entire body was on fire. He felt sick and sore. His entire body felt as if it were slowly breaking apart. Koga moaned in pain, afraid to move unless the pain would intensify. Koga ground his teeth and looked to his side where Keiko was cleaning his wounds. "Just leave it alone!" He pleaded, wanting the pain to end.

Keiko gave him a sad look and ran a hand through his black hair that was loose from its usual ponytail, the strands of midnight black, sticking to his sweat matted forehead. "Koga, there was a lot of miasma injected in your wound. I need to do this or you won't make it." She said bluntly, returning to cleaning the wounds, and flinching when Koga cried out.

"W-Where is I-Inuyasha…?" Koga said between breathy pants, his whole body shaking. "Is he alright?"

Keiko looked down at him with soft eyes and smiled. "He is alright thanks to you." She said, placing a comforting hand on his cheek. "He is worried about you though."

Koga smiled, though it looked more like a grimace with the pained look on his face. "I'm glad…" He winced again and looked up at Keiko. "C-Can I see him?" Koga said, through clenched teeth.

Keiko looked down at her patient. She didn't know what else she could do to help the boy. When she had first returned with Koga, she was shocked that Koga had yet to heal on his own. It was odd for the wolf demon who even she could admit was too strong for his own good. She had done everything in her power to close his wounds that seemed to gush endless streams of blood. It wasn't working… nothing was working. She could only dull the pain as he slowly bled out. She couldn't do anything and she hated herself for it.

No… She hated Naraku for it. She knew it was him, there was no explanation otherwise. Though why he had sent Matsu to do his dirty work was beyond her understanding. Could it be that he wanted to stay in Sesshomaru's good graces? She highly doubted that was the reason, but it was all she could think of. She looked down at Koga with sad eyes. She hadn't wanted anyone to die because of her feud with Naraku, though as she examined her situation, the chances of that happening grew more slim.

People would die…

She thought back to Koga's earlier question and sighed. She really didn't want Inuyasha to see him like this.

"Koga, I-"

"Please…"

Keiko looked down at his face with a frown. He was scared. He was afraid of death, afraid of the pain. He was afraid that he would never be able to see Inuyasha again. Keiko could tell that by looking in his brown eyes. He wanted Inuyasha with him.

"Sango… will look for him…" She smiled down at Koga, and turned to Sango, who nodded in understanding and left the room to search for the hanyou. The sun would rise soon, and Inuyasha was nowhere to be found. They all knew Sesshomaru wouldn't harm Inuyasha so long as Keiko was attached to him, but they were beginning to get worried.

Sango walked made her way through the halls with Kirara still perched on her shoulders.

"Where is my son?" Sango turned and narrowed her eyes on the Lord's mother.

"I was wondering the same thing My Lady." Sango wanted to strangle the inu youkia, but treasured her life enough to control herself. "I was on my way to retrieve Master Inuyasha now."

The inu youkia curled her lip. "Who is Inuyasha, and why is my son so fond of saving him?"

Sango sighed, and simply walked away, not wanting to be the one to explain it to her. "Ask your son."

Kurohime scoffed at the former demon slayer and followed her down the hall. "You are very rude for a servant."

"I am a guard, not a servant. And I am Keiko's guard, not yours." Sango said simply, rolling her eyes and ignoring the threats that followed her. She dealt with Sesshomaru and Inuyasha on a daily basis, frankly, Kurohime was nothing in comparison to the troubles those two had caused her over the years.

Her head began to pound as Lady Kurohime screeched threats down the hall. Sesshomaru must have the patience of a saint…


Inuyasha buried his face into his brother's hair as they flew through the air. Sesshomaru's tail was wrapped protectively around Inuyasha's waist, as Inuyasha straddled his back. He wrapped his arms around Sesshomaru's neck, closing his eyes, basking in his older brother's warmth.

"The sun will rise soon." Sesshomaru stated, causing Inuyasha to look up at the brightening sky.

"I know…" He breathed, burying himself deeper into his brother's silver hair. His scent was intoxicating, Inuyasha decided, feeling his head grow light at his brother's overwhelming presence.

Inuyasha was well aware that he was a beta. It was just another reason why the other demons looked down to him. He was quite literally property no one would ever claim. His instincts were screaming for him to find a mate, though his tainted blood made that impossible. So to feel the dominating presence of his brother was overwhelming.

The only other alpha he had been around was Koga, but they didn't see each other like that. But this was different… He felt safe, protected, needed. He didn't feel like he was a nuisance or a disgrace. He felt wanted. A feeling he wasn't used to – especially around Sesshomaru. Which was why he was scared to turn back to his normal state.

He was scared that once he returned to his usual hanyou form, Sesshomaru would realize what a monster he was and take this feeling away from him. He didn't want it to end. "Sesshomaru…?" When Sesshomaru didn't answer Inuyasha continued. "When I transform… promise me you won't drop me…"

He felt Sesshomaru stiffen, and expected Sesshomaru to drop him right there, but was surprised when he felt the grip on his thighs tighten. "You are very strange Inuyasha…"

Inuyasha sighed, and leaned his forehead on Sesshomaru's back as he felt his powers returning to him. He knew how he looked now. He was a disgusting hanyou. One everyone was terrified of. The one that no one wanted. Humans were scared of his power, while demons laughed at his weakness. There was no acceptance in this form. There was no kindness. When they land, everything will return to normal and it would be as if they had never had the conversation, as if they were enemies again. As if Inuyasha hadn't fallen more in love with his brother. Inuyasha sighed as he saw the palace come into view.

"Are you well Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha looked up at Sesshomaru's voice. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

The silence between them had grown awkward and pregnant as they slowly started descending at the front of the palace. "I haven't dropped you yet…"

Inuyasha smiled, holding tighter onto his brother, as if scared to let him go. "Thank you… I mean, for everything… Thank you…"

When they landed, Inuyasha stumbled off of Sesshomaru's back, inspecting himself, glad that his injuries had faded as he had thought. "I should go check on Koga." He said, looking up at his brother before turning away from him.

"Wait." Sesshomaru grabbed his hand and spun him around. There was an awkward silence as Sesshomaru stared into his eyes with a look he couldn't quite read. "I…I…"

"SESSHOMARU!"

The two brothers turned towards the voice and groaned at the woman making her way towards them. "Okaa-san…"

"What on earth were you thinking running off to save Kami knows what! Do you have any idea how bad it will look if you show up late to meet your future mate? You will have to leave right now if you have any chance of getting there on time! Do you want to give me a heart attack Sesshomaru? I can't believe you did that! I blame your father, he always let you do what you wanted, and now look! How am I supposed to explain this to Yuzuki! And…"

"Okaa-san…" Sesshomaru warned and the woman immediately stopped and glared at her son.

"What?" She snapped, before her eyes finally rested on the hanyou who was clutching to her son's sleeves. "And who is this?"

"Inuyasha…" Sesshomaru answered simply. "He is Otou-san's second son."

Inuyasha blushed at the glare he was receiving from the woman and turned away from her. "So this is the bastard child?" Inuyasha growled at that.

"Who the hell are ya calling a bastard, you wrinkly old bitch!"

Kurohime's eyes widened at the hanyou's words, and Sesshomaru positioned himself in between Inuyasha and his mother. "Okaa-san…"

"What!" She snapped again, as she glared at the hanyou. "Who do you think you are? I am NOT old!"

"You look pretty old to me, you pompous bitch! My old man must have been pretty fucked up to mate with someone like you." Inuyasha grinned at the shocked expression on her face before he was dragged off by his elder brother.

"You must have a death wish…" He sighed, looking back at his mother who had yet to move from her spot. She was not used to anyone talking to her like that.

"I just don't like people looking down on me."

"I couldn't tell." He sighed. "Just be careful who you talk to like that…" Inuyasha nodded slowly, his mind finally registering that Sesshomaru was holding his hand. He blushed, wrapping his fingers around his palm.

"Sessho –"

"INUYASHA THERE YOU ARE!"

Inuyasha smiled as Sango made her way towards him. "I see you are… normal again!" She said, grabbing Inuyasha by the hand and dragging him down the halls. Inuyasha couldn't help but reach out as Sesshomaru's hand was pulled from his own.

"W-wait…" Inuyasha said looking back at Sesshomaru who was already walking away. "I-"'I don't want it to end yet…' he finished in his head.

Inuyasha wanted that feeling back; the feeling of security and comfort. It seemed as if years of torment and neglect had been temporarily forgotten. The harsh words he had been called; abandoned along with his painful memories by the simple contact with his brother; by a few comforting words.

Inuyasha wondered for the umpteenth time today what was causing the rapid beating in his heart as he clutched the ends of his sleeves, why was he still watching his brother? Why was his skin growing hot by just the simple thought of his elder half brother?

The hand Sesshomaru had grabbed was still tingling; a feeling he didn't want to leave. A feeling he knew he could never forget. Inuyasha shook the thought from his mind. He had never needed anyone in his life before. Why was his brother the only thing he could think of as he was swiftly dragged through the halls?

He sighed as Sesshomaru disappeared out of view without a second glance behind him. "Inuyasha…" Inuyasha turned to Sango when she spoke, only really half listening. "Koga…Koga isn't doing too well."

"What…" Inuyasha cocked his brow. Koga was a demon; he should have already healed himself by now. "What are you talking about?" Inuyasha looked back to see Sesshomaru disappear from his view. He wasn't sure if he should tell anyone about his growing feelings for his brother, though he doubted he could keep it from Koga. Inuyasha had always had a hard time keeping things from the wolf.

"Inuyasha, Lady Keiko believes… Koga won't make it…"

It took a while for the words to register in his mind, but as they did, he felt his eyes grow wide. "Wha-"

"Koga's wounds are too severe to be healed…"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "Sango, not the time to be fucking with me; no way wounds like that would kill the bastard. Nothing else ever did."

"Inuyasha…" She shook her head and reached for his hand. "He wants you there before he goes."

"He's not going to fucking die, ya idiot! Just because injuries like that could kill you, don't mean shit to guys like Koga." He said smoothly, though his mind was racing with the possibility.

"Inuyasha…"

He didn't know why, but the look on Sango's face was beginning to scare him. "He's… not…"

"Inuyasha…" She said, tightening her grip on his hand.

He pulled his hand free violently, her body lurching forward at the force of his pull. "Don't fucking touch me! Koga's fine. Stop trying to scare me!" He snapped before storming off, not stopping until he was right outside Koga's door.

He couldn't walk through the door. How could he. Koga was his only true friend, and while he was here, Inuyasha was worrying about his love life. He didn't want to walk in there and see Koga broken. He wouldn't be able to stand it, if he walked inside and found out Koga was gone.

"Inuyasha!" Inuyasha turned to see Sango rushing towards him. "You need to calm down before you go in there." She stopped in front of him, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't know…"

Inuyasha nodded, before opening the door and rushing in. "Koga!" He called, his eyes widening at the unmistakable smell of death in the air.

"I-Inu – Yasha…?"

Inuyasha pushed passed Keiko, who was looking towards Inuyasha with a worried expression until he was kneeling by the wolf demon's bedside. "Ya alright, flea bag…?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"Been, better." Koga sighed; his face was paled emphasizing the dark circles around his eyes. "You look normal again…"

Inuyasha nodded, gripping the sheets on the bed as tightly as he could. "I'm sorry that I did this to you…" He breathed, leaning his head by Koga's.

"It's okay mutt face. It's not your fault…" Koga coughed, patting Inuyasha's head comfortingly. "I'm glad you're safe…" Inuyasha nodded his head, savoring the distinct scent that always followed his best friend.

"I'm sorry I took so long getting back…"

Koga laughed, causing Inuyasha to look up through watery eyes. "You don't need to apologize for everything ya know. I'm not going to die."

Inuyasha blinked his eyes. 'He doesn't know…' Sango's words rang in his head. He doesn't know that Keiko can't save him. "But Koga…"

"I've been through worse Yasha –chan." He grinned, pulling Inuyasha's head down to his chest. Inuyasha's ears flattened atop his head as a steady beat pounded against his ears. "My heart hasn't stopped beating yet. As long as you're here, I won't die… okay?" Inuyasha nodded slowly, listening to the faint beat of his friend's heart. Koga wouldn't die. He wouldn't let him…

Inuyasha pulled away slowly, and smiled down on Koga. "I'll be back okay?"

Koga nodded. "Don't be too long…"

"Alright." Inuyasha said, grabbing Keiko and pulling her out of the room.

"Inuyasha… I…"

"Keiko, you need to save him please." Inuyasha said, his voice shaking. "He saved my life, I won't forgive myself if he dies doing it." Inuyasha thought back to his previous thoughts with a sigh. The comfort he had once felt was now undetectable as thoughts of his broken friend entered his mind. Sesshomaru was an impossible love; unreachable and wrong; but Koga… Koga was the only thing in his grasp; the only thing that felt real in his life. He was the only person besides Keiko who he knew wouldn't leave him. The thought of never seeing his friend's face again was enough to make him sick.

"Inuyasha… The miasma that was pumped into his system is too strong. I can't extract enough of it that would actually improve his condition. I can do nothing, but prolong his suffering…" She said, unable to look up at Inuyasha.

"Keiko, I can't let him die. He's too strong to give up."

"This really isn't up to him. He can't just will himself well." She shook her head. The only way to save Koga she could think of would be too dangerous. "I tried Inuyasha. Anything else I could do would be too risky, I..."

"I DON'T CARE!" Inuyasha snapped, and Keiko jumped back. "If he's going to die either way, I just don't fucking care!"

Keiko clenched her eyes tight, her hand resting on her heart. "Inuyasha, I would do anything for you, you know that. But if I do this Inuyasha, I…" Tears began to swell in her eyes. "I don't know if I can…"

"Please Keiko…"

Keiko looked up at Inuyasha and nodded, putting up little fight to deny the shaken hanyou, she could never withhold anything from the boy and this was no exception. "Go retrieve Sesshomaru from his room, and we will begin the ritual." Inuyasha nodded and rushed down the hall.

Keiko's eyes were still wide at the thought of what she would have to do. Sango walked behind her and hugged her from behind, realizing her lady needed to be comforted. "Keiko, I don't know what this ritual is, but implore you to reconsider."

"No." She said simply, pushing her way out of her friend's arms. "I will do what is best for my family." Her voice was shaking as she spoke.

"I will be there no matter what you chose My Lady. But if whatever this ritual is; seems too much for you, please don't push yourself."

Keiko nodded, and made her way into her patience room to prepare for the ritual.


Sesshomaru hated…

What he hate? He could never truly answer that question… he simply… hated.

He hated the annoying screeching of his counsel members, he hated the demon's who fawned over him, he hated the people who claimed to only think of what best for him then selfishly use him as many had done in the past.

He hate humans, it was true. A fact he had never alluded. Though his hatred for the vermin was nothing no more than the hatred he felt for the demons he commanded. Always after pain and destruction; always aiming to hurt others regardless of who it was they were hurting. It was the nature of all to take and judge. It was Sesshomaru's nature as well. He had done everything in his power to hurt those close to him if only to gain the power he had so desperately desired; the power he no longer cared for.

He wondered how many he had killed in order to achieve what he had now. He had pushed everyone away; his friends, his family, even his own father. He had planned on killing him when he could finally over power him.

What an awful thought for a young child to have about their father. But Sesshomaru couldn't help it; it was his nature, how he was raised.

Sesshomaru pushed everyone away, because he was tired of hurting, he was tired of hating. So he placed unbreakable walls around himself, cutting off all emotion. And for the first time in years, he didn't want to push someone away. He wanted to break down his barriers to this ache in his chest; this wonderful feeling…

"You must be insane!" Kurohime screeched at her son's suggestion. "No you can't!"

"Okaa-san, you are over reacting…" He sighed, leaning his chin on his palm, staring blankly out towards the orange hue of the sky, his previous peace forgotten. "You won't have to deal with him…"

"That doesn't matter! You can't bring a BETA, with you to retrieve your mate!" Kurohime was about ready to have a heart attack when her son had suggested allowing the hanyou brat to tag along with him to the northern palace, and now he was telling her to calm down?

"Keiko is a beta; one that was supposed to be my first chosen, why is she allowed to come?"

"Because she is… weird! Hardly any kind of competition."

"Inuyasha is a hanyou… One would say he is no completion either."

"Is he Sesshomaru?" She inquired, narrowing her eyes on her son. "If you allow the hanyou to control you, you will be no better than your father."

"What makes you think he is controlling me?" He said rolling his eyes at his mother's childish behavior. "I think you are just bitter because he refuses to bow and kiss your feet." He snapped, standing up and walking towards the door. "I will leave tomorrow and Inuyasha will be coming with me. You have planned my entire life, but you don't own me."

Sesshomaru was no idiot. He knew that his mating with this Yuzuki was some plot from his mother. He wasn't so naïve as to not see right through her act. The only reason she despised Inuyasha was because he was the one thing she couldn't control. Not linked with blood, not bound my obligation, not honor driven, not easily deceived.

He despised his mother… because he was so much like her…

Sesshomaru opened the door the same time the hanyou in question appeared in his door way. "Inuyasha…?" The Diayoukia couldn't hide his confused expression at the look the young hanyou was giving him.

Inuyasha looked as if he had been crying, and was panting heavily. Something about the look in his eyes caused a painful feeling in his chest. He didn't like the look of defeat and worry in his face.

Inuyasha looked up at Sesshomaru, a teary expression he couldn't refuse before breathing; "I need your help…"


"He will do one of two things;
He'll admit to everything,
Or he'll just say; he's just not the same,
And you'll begin to wonder why you came."

~How to save a life – The fray~


A.N~ Yep… Koga's screwed ^^… Next chapter will be LONGER!

REVIEW PLEASE! By the way, Fan fiction is being stupid and it won't tell me if someone reviews or favs or alerts any of my stories…. T^T I might have to kill it… so if I don't respond to a review… blame fanfiction! XD