The French-Canadian Way (Hetalia)
Author: Ashynarr
Summary: In canon, Matthew was raised by Francis and Arthur, but didn't turn out too much like either on the surface. What if he'd taken after his founding Nations just a bit more?
Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.
Warning: CanAme, French!Mattie
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
It really had been nice of Alfred to let Mathieu stay over at his apartment during the weeklong world meeting being hosted in the brand new UN building. The American had overheard him lamenting the fact that all the nearby hotels had already been booked out to Arthur, and had taken it upon himself to butt into the conversation and let him know that of course he could just stay at his place and what sort of jerk would he be to leave his own brother hanging like that?
Mathieu, to his credit, didn't even twitch at the word that jabbed through his heart, just smiling and accepting the gesture. Arthur grumbled about ungrateful children who didn't offer their elders a room as well, to which Alfred cheerfully replied that he only had the one spare room and that he'd rather not give it to the old man who'd spend the entire week nagging him ceaselessly.
The fight that followed was becoming routine, though Mathieu was starting to see that the two were using them as a way to blow off their lingering frustrations with each other without actually delving into dangerous waters. Though he knew the two were trying hard to reconnect after centuries of distancing themselves, the Canadian still felt a twinge of annoyance at the two shoving him rather distractedly out of the conversation.
(He didn't miss the guilty glance sent his way by his mentor later on - Mathieu understood that Alfred simply commanded attention, both as an emergent superpower and as himself, and that sometimes that attention would be away from lesser Nations.
He wasn't bitter, not at all. Really, he wasn't.)
Shoved to the side as he was, he didn't think much of it when he spied Yao out of the corner of his eye and decided to join him. The Communist Nation leaning against his walls with his eyes shut, though they cracked open to stare at him blearily until he recognized Mathieu.
"What brings you over here?" The older Nation asked, glancing down the hall to the still bickering duo. "I thought you were speaking with England."
"Alfred joined us," Mathieu explained simply, figuring that explained it all.
"Ah, that would do it, then," Yao nodded in understanding.
"I figured since they're busy, I could see how you were doing, since you looked a bit tired today."
"I'm on the other side of the planet from my country, and my body is telling me I should be asleep, not discussing trade and global politics."
Mathieu flushed slightly at the pointed look he got for that comment. "They didn't really give us much time to settle in, did they?"
"Mmm," Yao hummed noncommittally, taking a deep breath before going back to watching Mathieu.
The Canadian eventually gave in with pattering around the subject he'd been pondering on and off for a few years now. "How's Yong Soo? I haven't heard from him since I left, and, well…"
"He's fine," The Chinese Nation replied softly, smiling in understanding. "The war wasn't easy on him, but wars between your own people never are. He's getting used to dealing with two different regimes, but so far he seems to be handling it alright."
Mathieu exhaled in relief, smiling as well. "Thank God; hopefully he'll be able to come by the next world meeting, then."
"Last I heard, he was looking forward to seeing you again," Yao agreed, right before he tensed and turned to look down the hall, Mathieu a second behind as Alfred almost slammed his arm through the wall next to them.
"What are you doing talking to him?" The American superpower hissed, eyes wild as he did his best to burn a hole through Yao's face.
"Letting Mathieu know Yong Soo is alright," The older Nation snapped back, face guarded as he calmly recomposed himself. "Seeing as I'm the one in contact with him regularly, it makes sense for Mathieu to speak with me about the issue."
"He doesn't need to talk to communist scum to know that," Alfred rebutted, sending a sharp look to Mathieu before returning to his glare down of the other Nation. "Get lost."
"You should learn manners, child," Yao ignored the American's command. "Just because you've gained some influence in the world doesn't give you the right to determine how the rest of us live our lives. I've already thrown you and your European friends out of my country; don't make me have to do it a second time."
"I can't wait until your government crumbles underneath you; maybe when you come crawling to me I'll even show you mercy."
With that Alfred turned on his heels and left, grabbing Mathieu by the hand and almost yanking his arm out of its socket as he was dragged away from that conversation as well. Yao gave him an apologetic look before he disappeared from sight, giving the Canadian a burst of outrage as he turned on his neighbor.
"What the hell, Alfred? I was just checking in on Yong Soo!"
The American superpower spun him around so his back was against a wall, using his strength to pin him in place while he snarled. "You should have come to me then! I have plenty of reports on the state of the region-"
"-Which isn't the same as hearing about the personification from his own brother, and you know it!" The Canadian shot back, refusing to be scared into submission. "Not to mention I'm trying to play nice with the communist Nations so that they'll listen to me, since they don't seem to care all that much about you dramatically breaking ties with them."
"They're dangerous, Mathieu! You can't trust them to not try and sneak in spies behind your back, and who knows what sort of plans they have waiting for innocent people to lower their guard around them!"
"I'm already monitoring all my trade and transportation for communist sympathizers," Mathieu sighed. "What else do you seriously expect me to do?"
"I need you to work with me," Alfred proclaimed, placing his other hand on the northern Nation's shoulder with an almost pleading expression. "You're my closest ally, geographically and politically, so I need to be absolutely sure I know where your loyalties are."
"Alfred, I've been your largest supporter since this Cold War started - I've joined a good chunk of my military with yours, we trade all the intel we receive, and I fought in Korea alongside you. I've told you before, I don't think just trying to cut off trade and diplomatic contact with them will work, which is why I'm trying to talk to them and get them to see the good our side has."
The superpower stared him down silently, seeming to search for some form of deception in Mathieu's eyes. Upon finding none, he sighed and closed his eyes, sagging as they opened again to reveal most of the paranoia had left him for now. "Fuck, Mattie, I just - it seems like they're getting more powerful everyday, and what if I can't save everyone? What if I can't protect our people?"
"I know, Alfred," Mathieu replied, sagging briefly as the southern Nation released his wrists, allowing blood to start circling through his numb fingers again. "This war's been eating at all of us."
"I just want it all to stop," Alfred muttered, exhaling slowly. "My people don't need this sort of stress."
"Maybe you should consider getting rid of MacCarthy, then; he definitely hasn't been helping in that regard, and you know it."
"I know, damnit, but he's still one of my people; it's not like I can just lock him up - people'll demand justice, and that'll cause even more headaches."
Mathieu sighed, seeing his neighbor starting to swing to the other extreme of his current moods. "Do you want to head back to your apartment and rest? I doubt the others will begrudge half a day's meetings when we have the rest of the week ahead of us."
"I can't skip out on them, Mattie," Alfred protested. "My boss needs me to lead these in person, to show I can handle leading the free world."
"Well, most of the free world seems to be eager to catch naps to adjust to the time difference," The Canadian pointed out. "Your boss didn't give a lot of time for us to get here and settle in, and a lot of the Nations were tired this morning - didn't you notice?"
"...oh," He replied eventually. "That explains why everyone was quiet during my speech."
"You think?" Mathieu gently pushed his neighbor so that he could step away from the wall. "Let's go let them know we're calling it for the rest of today and then we can get out of here - maybe there'll be something good on the radio or tele."
"Yeah, maybe…" Alfred nodded, allowing himself to be escorted back to the main meeting hall, where everyone had started to regather for the afternoon discussions.
"Hey, everyone," The superpower called out, drawing their attention. "I'm calling off the afternoon talks for today - go back to your rooms and get some rest, or go sightseeing if you want. We'll deal with today's stuff over the rest of the week, but we can't get stuff done if you're all dead on your feet."
The room seemed to breath a sigh of relief, and Alfred turned to flash a thankful grin as Mathieu. Fighting down the flush at the gesture, he just smiled back and nudged his companion's shoulder, gesturing for him to lead the way out to his apartment.
Along the way they picked up ice cream from a place Alfred swore up and down was the best he'd ever had, something Mathieu could hardly debate when it did taste remarkably refreshing on a warm afternoon in the city. Between the sweet treat and the strictly nonpolitical banter they'd struck up along the way, most of the tension had left their shoulders, and the Canadian was struck again with how gorgeous his friend could be when the world wasn't weighing him down.
"Mattie, we're here," The American cut into his thoughts, drawing him back from the place his mind had wandered to with a befuddled glance around to confirm their location. "You aren't getting heat stroke, are you?"
"Just a bit tired," Mathieu promised, which wasn't technically a lie even though it had been far from the front of his mind during the walk. "Though I wouldn't mind a drink if you're getting yourself one."
"I'll see what I can scrounge up," Alfred promised, disappearing into the small kitchen while Mathieu settled onto the couch in the living room.
Ever since his talk with Arthur, he'd allowed himself the luxury of stepping back and actually looking at his jumbled mess of feelings involving his neighboring Nation. Yes, he'd been raised to treat thinking of other men the way he thought of Alfred as some sort of abominable sin, but he was almost certain now it wasn't really any different from what other men felt for their wives, all other factors aside, so what made it any more sinful than Francis' own habit of sleeping around with unwed women?
Of course, even with that realization, he had no way to act on it, because as far as he was aware, Alfred was still very much against the idea and would probably build a wall between their countries to keep him out if he so much as breathed the idea in his general direction. If that weren't enough, Mathieu wouldn't know how to breach the subject even if he weren't certain of the reaction it'd cause - it wasn't exactly something you discussed over drinks!
(He wasn't even going to think about how, for all his charm and suave with women, he had no idea how to actually build and maintain a working relationship - the mere concept had been treated as a taboo by Francis, and Arthur was only beginning to help him work through the worst of the knee jerk reactions to the idea.)
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he sank into a couch a bit further. It really didn't matter in the end how he felt, because for all of Arthur's positive remarks, the lingering doubts about anything ever coming of them remained ever present in his mind.
Those would be for another day, though - for now, Alfred had returned with a cold drink for each of them, and he didn't want to ruin the day by letting his mood drag them both back down.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
AN: This came out slightly differently than I expected, but overall it worked out so I'm sticking to it. Mattie's slowly coming around to realize his feelings aren't quite deserving of self-loathing as he'd initially felt. Of course, he's had the time to think about it and the careful support of Arthur to help that along, which probably helped a bit.
Next chapter is going to be probably the only one of them you can pin a very definite day on, but I don't want to spoil anything here... let's just say I'm gonna have so much fun writing it.
