This wasn't supposed to be a filler chapter but now it feels like one.
First time trying to write anything smut like.
There's not enough Poland in this story, so that's why I added more Poland, Hungary, France, Rome, America or Canada because they are awesome. Prussia was going to be in this chapter but I wrote that he was touring Europe with Denmark and England.
Why would Rome be a big fan of race cars? Well, in Ancient Rome the most watched sport was chariot racing (yes more popular than Gladiatorial fights). They loved the sport! Romans had their favorite teams and everything. Emperor Nero's was the Green team I believe. I'm such a Roman History Geek. Now, race cars would be the modern equivalent of chariot racing.
Canada is making crêpes not pancakes, since pancakes are an English thing. I think Canada would be more true to his (hers in his story) French side when it comes to cooking.
A tarte au sucre is a French (French, Belgian and Québécoise and apparently Indianan) delicacy… it translate to sugar pie and it's delicious. Here in Canada we make it with maple syrup in it and its sold everywhere in Québec. Poutine is a Québécoise delicacy. Originally it was made with just gravy, fries and cheese curds, though now it's made with which ever sauce and cheese. This one town you can find it made with a fish sauce. Sucre à cream is another Québécoise delicacy I don't know how to explain it, it's like fudge in a way. Pâté chinois is another French Canadian delicacy. Every family makes it different, though it always has ground beef, corn and mash potatoes in it, no matter which way you order it. Beaver Tails is fried dough with toppings on it, usually powder sugar or Nutella.
Translations
Συγνώμη= Sorry (Greek)
Mais = But (French)
L'amour est fantastique = Love is fantastic (French)
Sirop = Syrup (French)
Tout partout = Everywhere (lit. Every everywhere) (French)
Bien sûr mon ami = Of course my friend (French)
Chapter 7
Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
never was and never will be
Everybody's Fool (Evanescence) 2004
Antonio pushed me against the wall. He had a playful look in his eyes as he went in for a kiss. He kissed me with great passion. Fuck, it was amazing. His lips on mine. The taste of his mouth, he had a tomato taste to him. Our tongues battling for domination… he was winning. My arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer. His hands rest on my hips, keeping me on the wall. His body getting closer to mine. Our chests rubbing together. His hips rolling into mine. Yep, I died and gone to heaven. His lips latched off of mine and he licked his way down to my neck. He then started to suck hard in-between my neck and shoulder.
"Antonio," I moaned. He moaned in my shoulder. I pushed him farther away. Shit my pants were getting tighter by the second. I ripped Antonio shirt off. Buttons flew here and there. Fuck did he have a golden body. He must have been sculpted by a Renaissance sculptor, because that was way too perfect. Those muscles were way too perfect. And those jeans hugged him oh so perfectly. (I know I'm using the adjective perfect too much but that was the best way to describe him, perfect.) He gave me a playfully evil smile. He pushed me back against the wall and started to slowly unbutton my shirt. Fucking evil of him. Each time he unbuttoned a button he kissed my chest. By the time he was finished, he was on his knees tonguing my belly button. Fuck this was torture. I pushed his head down. He laughed and then sucked the bulge in my jean. YES! I closed my eyes and moaned again. His hands started to move again. He stopped sucking. I opened my eyes and looked down at him a little angry. He just smiled and unzipped my pants. He pushed my pants down a little. I caught my breath.
It wasn't long before my pants and underwear were to my ankles. Fuck, I was hard. It was starting to get painful. Antonio pushed me to the wall again. Why was-I moving? His hands held my hips into place. That's was when he took an experimental lick on the head. I gasped and pulled on his curls. He just chuckled. Why the fuck does he always laugh or smile or whatever! Why the fuck am-I complaining about that at that very moment. Ignore my complaining. So, after my well liked response, he opened his mouth and… and a phone was ringing?
Fucking dream! It had to stop at the fucking good part! I bet you guys are pissed too, since you are members of Elizaveta's cult. Do you guys get membership cards? Like a card that says 'I'm a dirty pervert and I love watching guys have sex with each other'? Do you go to the gay part of town (at night of course) and watch all the guys make out. Are you in a stalker van with binoculars? Do you play the song Every Breath You Take? Because I can so see Elizaveta doing that, and making it a dogma in her perverted religion.
Now who or what woke me up from my dream at… 3 am! Fuck, I was going to kill… no torture whoever was on the other side of the call. I hoped it's my lesbo manager. I always wanted to torture her, now I would have an excuse.
"Vaffanculo."
"Ve~ Lovi!" Shit. I couldn't torture Feli. While I would have him on the rack, he would be crying all doe eyed and acting Puss in Boots cute. Well fuck.
"Fuck Feli! Why would you fucking call me at this fucking time!"
"I'm sorry Lovi… I couldn't sleep and I went on the internet… I didn't know you were sleeping!" he cried. I could just see him wide eyed with little tears dropping from his eyes. Fucking fuck.
"Whatever. Why did you call?" I asked. I slammed my head into my pillow and stretched on my bed.
"Um… did you really wear orange or is this picture on TMZ photoshopped? And does that say Holland?"
I almost dropped my phone. Someone, some fucking photographer caught me with that Dutch shirt on! Fuck!
"Lovi?" Feli asked.
"It's not my fault! I was at a football game…"
"Which teams?" Feli asked happily.
"How the fuck should I know, it was American football!"
"American football?" Feli said in disbelief.
"So, some guy spilled his drink all over me. It was either go Dutch with one of Antonio's brothers-in-law's shirts or wear a shirt covered in beer!"
"Antonio? Oh! Yeah, you told me he invited you to an American football game, how was it?"
"Some guy spilled his beer all over me! How do you think it went?"
"So?"
"It was fine. Antonio and I went to … a mall," I was not in a million years telling Feli I was at Wal-Mart. "That was the good part."
"Lovi," Feli said sounding disappointed.
"Vaffanculo, I know what I'm doing," I said. It was still a lie.
I could just hear my brother rolling his eyes at me. Fuck you. "I don't want your heart to get broken. Especially when I'm not there to help you."
"Fuck, like I said I know what I'm doing." He so did not believe me.
"Don't do something that will break your heart. Addio."
"Addio." And back to bed it was.
A bagle or an apple? A bagel or an apple? The hard choices we have to make in morning. A bagle is fast but apples have less carbs. Shut up, it's true. It was like Sophie's choice… okay maybe not that extreme but it was still a hard choice.
"Roma, you totally need to promise me something," Feliks said coming beside me. "It's like so super important."
Oh, yeah did I forget to mention where I was? I was at work in front of the food bar. Feliks and Elizaveta were with each other (yeah, they are friends. How the fuck can Feliks be friends with a girl that has probably put cameras in his room to film him and his boyfriend together, I don't know.) Jean-Jacques was also trying to find something to eat, hoping it was as good as his sister's cooking (of course it wasn't). And Theodora was acting out a scene. The set was busy with people running amuck here and there. It wasn't that pretty. You see film sets on TV and in movies all the time, just think of those. Though, Theodora was standing in the middle of Angie's bedroom. That part of the set was pretty, in an old fashion type of way.
"No, I am not fucking going to take you on a trip to my family's villa in Tuscany, so you can go shopping in Florence. And no, I'm not going to visit your family in Warsaw so I can go shopping with you in Warsaw. The only time I'm going to Poland is to see the Euro. Now leave." A bagle or an apple? Fuck, it was a hard choice.
"Aww, but it would so be totally fun," Feliks complained.
"It so would," Elizaveta replied with that creepy smile on. "And you can take me."
"You know that the Catholic Church still has a lot of influence on Polish and Italian thought," I replied to Elizaveta.
Feliks pouted at my comment. "Never mind, I wasn't going to ask you about going shopping in Europe. Though it would be, like, so much fun." He doesn't know the definition of fun, does he? Fuck, he should just befriend Françoise and they could go shopping in Paris. Have a shopping tour of Europe. That might, might, be fun. Maybe I should have my own shopping tour of Europe.
"Roma, you must, like, swear to me that you will never, ever wear orange again," Feliks said in his most serious voice… if he had a serious voice. Now, what the fuck! He saw it too! And Elizaveta was nodding in agreement! She fucking saw it too! Fuck! Fuck TMZ.
"Oui, ze shirt is tree sizes too big," Jean-Jacque said. He just had to join in, didn't he? Everyone around the world saw that picture. I bet you did too.
"It's not my fucking fault! Antonio brought me to a football game. Ugly guy spilled all his beer on me. I had to wear his Dutch brother-in-law's shirt. That's all I'm saying. End of conversation." Little that I know, I would have to answer for that fashion mistake over ten times, in the next two days.
"Antonio? So, you brought some arm candy to this game?" Oh shit. Elizaveta was on to something. Her and her perverted thoughts were going to be the end of me.
"Wouldn't Roma be the arm candy? Antonio was the one who invited him." Feliks chimed in. I slammed my head on the breakfast buffet table. Ow.
"But, little Roma," who was she calling little? "Is bitter. Antonio is sweet like candy, thus Antonio is the arm candy." That didn't make any sense. Arm candy has nothing to do with personalities. It has everything to do with looks. And I was pleasing to the eye! And my accent made me pleasing to hear.
"He's fucking married," I said before this conversation became too stupid.
"That still doesn't mean you can't look good for him. An orange shirt three sizes too big?" Feliks replied.
"Mention the shirt one more time and I'll kill you," I threatened the Pole. Feliks snuffed it off and Jean-Jacques laughed. He fucking laughed. Laughed!
"Yes, I agree with Feliks, you must always look good," Elizaveta replied.
"Fuck you guys, I'm leaving," I told them.
"We love you too!" Elizaveta said waving with that creepy smile. What the fuck was with the too? But I just ignored it, she was stupid sometimes.
I took an apple before I killed my co-stars, because they would mention Andries' shirt again. I sat down in a nice little corner. It was far enough from my co-stars but close enough to Gupta so I can see his eyes. I needed to know when it was my scene.
I took a bite of my apple. What a sweet tasting fruit. But, the skin was a little chewy.
While eating my apple, I took my phone out. I had a text. Well three to be exact. But whatever Feli and Elizaveta was texting me could wait. Antonio had texted me. Apparently, he found that picture with Andries' shirt funny. Seriously? How was that funny! That was the first time I wear something unfashionable and the whole world laughs at me. But he quickly changed the conversation after I might have wrote a lot of swear words in my reply. I called him every name in the book and more. So, he just started to talk about a new song he was writing. He said he wanted a new album out soon. 'Did his last album come out in July?' I know and it was the first week of February! He hates it when artist take five years to come out with a new album. If the Beatles could come out with multiple albums a year, he could too. He told me he had already written five songs for his next album. He even got FBT (stop screaming!) to help him with the music. Though, later none of those songs were big hits, it would the songs he writes in the next months (one in March, one in May and the next in June) in that would make it on the Billboards. Not that those five songs weren't any good, they just weren't Billboard worthy. We all know the three biggest hits from Antonio's second album, don't we? I'll explain the inspiration behind those three when we get to that.
I worked for fifteen minutes then off I was again trying to figure out what I should have for lunch. Soup or salad? Fuck, it was the apple and the bagel all over again. Soup or salad? You know what would make this easier, if they had pasta today. But pasta day was Friday. Or pizza. Fuck, pizza it is.
"Roma, you okay?" Theodora asked. While at the lunchroom, I usually eat with my co-stars, but they were pissing me off. Now, Theodora had to play diplomat in this whole affair. And she had to give me her largest cute eyes. Shit, why did I have to be fucking nice to chicks?
"Kind of pissed that I have to be here for an ungodly amount of hours and act of fifteen minutes," I explained.
"And the picture with the orange shirt?" she asked. Trust me, I gave her a nasty look, a look that could put Medusa to shame. "Συγνώμη, I didn't mean anything by it. It looked fine." Grazie for lying. I rolled my eyes at her. "They promise not to mention it again." I rolled my eyes again. "Come eat with us."
"I'm fine, I'm texting Antonio anyways," I told her. Oh, there were extra tomatoes in the salad. Pizza and salad seemed healthy.
"Oh, well, of course," Theodora said a little sadly. Fuck her.
"Fine, I'll sit with you," I told her. She smiled. This is why I didn't want a girlfriend. They are fucking evil. They manipulate you into doing things for them and then they break your heart. Like what Luise was going to do with Feli. Seriously, watching my Nonno marry over and over again did not do well for my love life with women.
Theodora took her salad and we went to sit with my other co-stars. Why did we have to get along? Why couldn't we be one of those shows that none of the co-stars got along? Okay, maybe the show wouldn't be as good, but my personal life would be much easier to deal with.
Now, we talked. Well Feliks and Elizaveta talked. Elizaveta was telling us about her husband's trip to his hometown of Vienna. Boring. He just played piano in the same room as Mozart, his idol. Who cared? I didn't. Feliks was commenting on everything and talking about something. I forget what, but I do remember it was stupid. Well, it was always something stupid with Feliks.
I was about to finish my lunch when Luise came. Yes, she came into the studio. She was pissed and sort of scary looking. Not that I showed fear. I'm a man and men don't show fear. Fear is for girls… and Feliks.
"What's this?" she said slamming THE photo on the table. Fucking fuck! Again with the orange shirt! Is there not one person that won't yell at me for that fashion choice! Apparently, I should have just worn my shirt that was full of beer.
"It's a photo," I said being as brave as can be. But you know Luise was a scary bitch. Her sky blue eyes staring into your soul and that vain popping out, she was scary. So don't blame me that I screamed my comment with a high voice. Fuck, Luise was basically a man and men can be afraid of men.
"What are you wearing?" she asked trying to keep her voice down… failing terribly. Everyone was watching. Elizaveta laughed. Feliks looked terrified. Theodora and Jean-Jacques were already gone to work. Lucky them.
"I know orange isn't my colour but every star has bad hair days…" Fuck you, you would be hiding under the table too if you saw Luise yelling at you. She was that scary. Plus, her short hair cut made her look like a man.
"Holland!" What? "You're wearing a Dutch football team jersey?" What the fuck? Luise is yelling at me because I was wearing a Dutch jersey? I thought she was yelling at me because the paparazzi finally caught me doing something imperfect. No, she was yelling at me because I was wearing a Dutch jersey. I later read the comment TMZ made. Well apparently they thought I was supporting the Dutch in the next Euro. And thus we have proof that they don't fucking know me. And that was the reason I decided to wear all those Italian jerseys in February and I made sure TMZ would get tons of pictures of that. I support my fucking country!
"It was either that or a beer covered shirt. I picked the Dutch shirt," I said in a small voice. My life is so fucked up.
"Truly?" Luise asked still mad. This was way too fucked up.
"I have to work, so go talk to Feli. I explained everything to him," I told her. I hate repeating myself and I would seriously have to answer for that fashion choice for a while. It would have been easier if I made a public announcement on TMZ. Sorry for my poor fashion choice, I didn't want to be covered in beer.
I got up from the grown and more or less ran for it… in a manly way of course.
Work continued as usual. We got some filming done. It was still creepy that at one point I was going to have to kiss Elizaveta. She would probably find it hot in some I love gays (remember I'm bi… even if she doesn't believe me) sort of way. God, sometimes my job sucks. But then again, I get to 'fake' hit people (mainly Jean-Jacques and Feliks), and if I 'accidently' hit them for real, no questions are asked. And then I have time to text Antonio. So, my job isn't all bad.
I got off work early that day. So, I went home. I expected to come home to nothing. But when I walked out of the elevator and saw a pair of spotless flats my heart sank. The only person I know who's that anal about keeping their shoes that clean was Luise. Well apparently the Dutch jersey conversation wasn't over. Fuck. I also saw a pair of dark blue heels with a star on them (um… ugly?), a pair of red heels (Giovanni, I believe), a pair of Prada black strap heels, Nonno's favorite (ugly) brown sandals and a pair of red Adidas runners. Aw fuck. There were more people to explain that it wasn't my fault that I was wearing the Dutch jersey. People suck.
I opened the door to my living area… well it was more like an entertainment area. I had an open concept kitchen and living room. My kitchen was state of the art, of course. Then I had a rather large area for people to mingle… not that I have people mingle at my place a lot. It was rather large for one person. The only people that come to my apartment on a regular basis was Luise (the only chick I will ever give the keys to my apartment), Feli (not when he was off shooting a film), Sandro (only when he's not on tour), Mamma (less than Feli), Babbo (even less then Mamma) and Nonno (even less then Babbo). That's sad, it's only family that visits. The only reason my co-stars don't come up that often is because I always them meet in the lobby. I can just imagine how Feliks would ruin my apartment. It was a scary thought.
Today, I did have guests. I still don't know why. I walked into my entertainment area to see Antonio (still looking very handsome in his Real Madrid jersey and jeans) sitting beside my Nonno. They were watching… honestly I don't remember. But knowing Antonio, it was soccer or some stupid sitcom. Then, knowing Nonno, it was some stupid sitcom or cars racing. Nonno looked young in his red t-shirt and beige pants. In the kitchen was Maddy Williams. Yes, Maddy Williams. Miss blonde hair violet eyes and glasses. She was cooking something. Well she was cooking a lot (she explained that my food was going bad so she made a whole bunch of food). Trust me, it smelled delicious in my penthouse. Not as delicious as when Feli was cooking but still delicious. Maddy even had Feli's Kiss the Cook apron on. Sitting at my counter was Allie Jones. Again, what the fuck (and now we know who those ugly shoes belong too). She was wearing a blue tank-top with white stars all over it and jeans. She was laughing while reading a script. Her bob was bouncing when ever she laughed. She was also eating fries covered in gravy and cheese, and mash potatoes with ground beef and corn in it. Which meant, she had it all over her face and golden hair. Luise was walking around cleaning my apartment, as in picking up my clothes on the floor. She was wearing a black pair of pants and a white t-shirt (later I see that it's a jersey for the German national team), something I would never wear to clean SOMEONE else's apartment. Well I would never wear a German jersey. Trust me, if I had to pick between a German football jersey and a beer stoked shirt, the beer stoked shirt wins. Yes, even if Antonio begs me to wear it. Though, why would Antonio even beg me to wear a German football jersey is beyond me.
When I opened my door, everyone looked at me.
"¡Hola!" happily yelled… well who else would say hola?
"Yo," Allie said giving me a little nod.
"Hello," Maddy and Luise said.
"Lovino! Come sit with us and watch (insert name of show here, I told you I don't remember what they were watching)," Nonno said. I'm crept out by the fact that Antonio and Nonno were acting chummy with one another. He's my nonno!
"This isn't a fucking intervention about the shirt?" I asked.
"Non," I heard Françoise say… Where the fuck did she come from? I heard the toilet flush… bathroom. Well, I have to admit, for a whore, she was pretty. She wore a beautiful dark blue strapless dress that showed off her curves beautifully. She even had perfect lady-like posture.
"Why would we have an intervention about a shirt?" Antonio asked.
"Mais, I saw the pictures and it was a horrible fashion choice… Dutch too!" Françoise replied. Françoise walked up to the kitchen and started to help Maddy with the crêpes.
"No," Nonno said. "I'm here to see my grandson." What's the catch? Nonno never visits me unless it's something about Feli or if Feli was here. He always loved Feli best and gave him the best presents and stuff. Feli got an art set for Christmas and I get socks. "You know Hera Karpusi right?" And there's the kicker. He was here to find out how to hit on Hera's mother.
"I just got here two minutes ago. I was bored," Antonio said. He was bored so he came to me! In your face everyone else on this planet!
"I came with him," Françoise explained ruining my moment of happiness. Damn.
"We're here 'cause Luise is here," Allie said. "Maddy, are the crêpes finish yet?"
"In a minute," her sister sighed.
"And why are you here?" I said angrily at Luise. She was at the point of scrubbing my floors. My house was fucking clean. I have a maid come in once a week.
"We weren't finished our conversation at the studio," she explain. Fuck.
"Yes, we were," I said.
"Lovi come sit beside your nonno," Nonno said patting a place between him and Antonio.
I shook my head. "I don't have Hera Karpusi's number."
"I have Kiku's!" Allie exclaimed. Please stop helping him. "Kiku's texting me the number right now… why do you want Hera's number?" Allie looked at my nonno confused.
"He's in love with her mother," I explained air quoting in love.
"Aww, that's sweet," Antonio said. He wasn't helping the situation either.
"L'amour est fantastique," Françoise explained sighing.
"Lovino, please clean up after yourself after you have an intimate moment with someone," Luise said making sure my nonno couldn't hear her. (I also hoped Françoise didn't hear that.) How the hell did that cum get on the floor? Oh yeah, him. So Luise was cleaning my cum… ew.
"Anyone else what's some of Maddy's awesome crêpes?" Allie asked. She had a mouthful of crêpes in her mouth and syrup dripping from her chin.
"Allison, could you wipe your face, you have sirop… tout partout," Françoise explained giving Allie a red, white and blue handkerchief. Why the fuck would Françoise have a handkerchief?
"Gilbert swears they're the best he's ever had," Luise told Antonio, Nonno and Me. Maddy blushed at the comment.
"They are! Almost as good as my hotdogs," Allie told us. Maddy just shook her head at this comment.
"If hotdogs could be considered real food," Françoise said snobbishly and rolling her eyes.
"Admit it. I make the best hot dogs in the world," Allie said ignoring Françoise and her comment about hot dogs.
"You make very good hotdogs Allie," Maddy said.
"Thank you," she replied proud of herself.
I rolled my eyes. "Why are they here?" I asked Luise. Actually it was more of a rhetorical question. I didn't expect Luise to anwser.
"They followed me. I had to make sure Allie read her script," Luise explained.
I looked back at the superhero twins. "You're cleaning after them."
"Of course," Luise said with attitude. "Allison, did you finish reading?"
"Sure, whatever," she said. She still had a mouth full of crêpes. Françoise looked at her in disgust. Her sister put another crêpe on her plate.
"You know what, I'm getting hungry," Antonio said out loud. "Can-I have some crêpes?"
I looked at the couch with Antonio and Nonno. Not much going on. Antonio was sitting down watching whatever was on TV and Nonno was texting. I believe he was texting Hera… that was fucked up on so many levels.
"Bien sûr mon ami," Françoise told Antonio.
"Save room for dessert," Maddy said. "Antonio, there's also poutine and pâté chinois."
"I'll have a crêpe,"Françoise said sitting down beside Allie. "You have gravy on your face too. Is that ketchup?" Françoise decided to move one seat away from Allie.
Luise sat down, after washing her hands, of course. Maddy gave her that potato, ground beef and corn thing. Ew, potatoes were disgusting.
"I'll have a little bit of everything. It smells delicious," Antonio then explained. Maddy smiled and blushed. Bitch, he's mine… I mean he's Emma's. Yeah, that's what I meant. Hey, I was not jealous that he made Maddy blush. Anyway, Maddy is dating Gilbert (how could she stand him? Well, she is sisters with Allie. She must have practice with dealing with the insane).
I sat down beside Allie. Yeah, it was either sitting beside Luise, Françoise or Allie. Françoise was creepy. Allie was disgusting with her face full of syrup, gravy and ketchup. Or Luise. I was at the end of the counter island thing I had. I got a crêpe since everything else had potatoes in it. Okay, they were good. That's all I'm saying about them. I still prefer Italian food. I didn't even know that Canadians had their own cuisine until that day.
Maddy then took out the desserts.
"Tarte au sucre? Sucre à cream? Or Beaver Tail?" she asked.
"Everything!" Allie yelled banging her fork and knife on my beautiful counter. Where the fuck does all that food go? Why isn't she the largest woman in the world? She fucking eats like a tank. Wait! It goes to her rack. Admit it, she has big breast and they keep getting bigger… that might just be my imagination but you check the next time you see The Eagle. I'm telling you her boobs get a little bigger every season!
"Tarte au sucre," Françoise said.
"I'll have a Beaver Tail. But could you roll it up and put cinnamon and sugar on it?" Antonio asked.
"So, a mock churro," Maddy asked. Antonio nodded. "Okay."
"Pie!" Nonno said still texting.
I tuned out everything else that was happening. Somehow I got a pie. That pie was just liquid sugar. I was going to my exercise room and exercise all this food off. After Antonio was gone. Who cares about everyone else?
Instead I took Allie script. Fuck, she wasn't doing anything with it. I started to read it. You guys know what's going to happen, don't you? Yep, that's how I got to guest star on a few episodes of The Eagle. I saw the script and sort of like this new character, Michael di Napoli. Sure, I had to play Maddy's character, Viola Lyon, love interest that ends up evil. But I got telekinesis. How many times can you say I had superpowers.
After finishing the script, I told Luise to get me an audition. She of course listened to me. Okay, maybe they were some whinning, just little bit of whining… okay maybe a lot. But she did get me an audition after an hour of whining. She told me that I had to concentrate on The Smuggler. She heard that my scenes with Elizaveta needed some work. I rolled my eyes and Maddy told her that Michael Di Napoli was only going to be in a few episodes here and there. Antonio said I would play a nice evil guy. Grazie. Françoise then said something. I don't remember what.
I don't know how it happened, but Nonno was gone (meeting up with Hera… still fucked up on so many levels), Allie was working out in MY work out room. (Now we know how she keeps the weight off) Fuck Luise, she let Allie just go in there in my clothes! Seriously! Fuck, she must have still been mad about losing her fight. Maddy and Luise were washing the dishes. Françoise was doing something. I don't remember and don't care enough too. I was sitting on the couch with Antonio watching a movie. Romeo + Juliet, the Leo Di Carprio one.
"Nice picture," Antonio said looking at his phone. Gilbert had texted him the Orange shirt photo of me. (Well Gilbert was a little late, that was old news now. And Antonio had already seen it). Now he was making fun of me. "How did he even get this photo?"
"Fuck the fucking fucker."
"I think I'm going to buy you a swear jar," Antonio told me. "When's your birthday?"
"Fuck you stronzo, I don't fucking swear that fucking much!" I replied. Maybe not the best reply to that comment. I swore in two different languages. "And my birthday is March 17th." There were a few things I hated about my birthday. The first one was that I had to fucking share my birthday with my stupid little brother. He always has to outshine me. Damn you Feli, you just couldn't wait a day to be born. Then, the second thing was St. Patrick's Day. I thought it was only the Irish who celebrated that day. No, over here the Americans celebrate it. So, there were a whole bunch of drunken people going around doing stupid things on my birthday. Thank God I didn't live in Boston.
Antonio chuckled. "Now, I have your birthday present." Aww, he was going to buy me a birthday… wait, I was going to fucking get a swear jar for my fucking birthday! I bet he'll buy Feli a new car while I'm stuck with a fucking swear jar! "Did you buy my present yet?" What? "My birthday is in ten days." What? Wait, I knew that, I did memorise his wiki page. "Oh! I forgot to invite you to my party! Emma made all these invitations! I thought I invited you last week! Lo siento, Lovi!" I have ten days to buy Antonio an amazing birthday present? Shit. What to buy Antonio? He's a man of simple taste… something soccer related. "
"Get out."
"I said lo siento," Antonio said wide eyed. Shit, I hurt his feelings.
"No, I need to go shopping for your birthday present. So, I'm kicking you out and bring Françoise with you," I said pushing Antonio out.
"You can go tomorrow. At least let me finish the movie," Antonio whined.
"They kill themselves in the end. It's Romeo and Juliet, how do you not know that?"
"I do but…" I gave him a stern look. He sighed and made a sour face. "Okay."
"You owe be a lot of tomatoes for inviting me at the last minute," I told him sternly.
"Sí," he said with a snigger in his voice. "Let's go Fran."
"Quoi?"
"Lovi's kicking us out. I'll explain it the car."
And off they went. And the first thing I did when they left was take out my laptop to go shopping on the internet. Last minute shopping was never, ever good. Luise did complain that I had an audition in seven days to practice for too. Damn you Antonio, giving so little time for your present.
