Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters used in this work of fan fiction.
Warnings: Eventual Kakairu (which means male/male romance), possible future smut that will be posted elsewhere and crosslinked - R rated versions of chapters will be provided here. Rating of fic will rise to M in later chapters.
Kakashi dumped the armload of cleaners on the kitchen counter and stared around the apartment, trying to decide where to start first. Everything was still covered in dust, with visible trails of footprints leading to the bedroom and bathroom, and if he squinted closely enough at the corners, he could see spider webs. With a sigh the Jounin rolled up his sleeves and got to work.
Three hours and four clones later, Kakashi dropped the dust-covered cloth into the trash and sighed. The apartment was finally something approaching clean, and it smelled now of lemon-scented cleaner and fresh breeze from the windows he'd thrown open, instead of like the teacher. It felt good, purging, like the man was finally out of his life and Kakashi could go back to being peacefully alone without any worried brown eyes or suspicious visits or hovering Hokages. Having a clean apartment somehow made Kakashi feel more in control of the situation. So the teacher had broken in. Big deal. He'd redo the wards and that'd be that. He didn't have to have anything more to do with the man.
Despite his assertions, though, that night when Kakashi took a bite of his freshly-made chicken soup, he couldn't help but reflect that the Chuunin's had tasted better.
***
Idle curiosity was starting to turn into obsession, and Kakashi blamed it on the lack of entertainment. He'd read the most recent volume of Icha Icha eleven times. He'd reread the entire series twice, going backwards from the newest book the first time, then forward again from the original volume. He'd cautiously examined the plant Naruto had given him and was surprised to find that underneath the layers of dead leaves, there was still something approaching life. He'd trimmed the foliage away and started watering the plant again, but it still looked naked and a bit forlorn, and the entire time he'd been thinking about Iruka.
He'd completely redone the seals on the apartment, and had spent two days designing a particularly nasty trap of chakra wire and exploding tags that was nothing short of brilliant. He'd tied the masterpiece into the door, where it'd do the most good to stop an intruder, and had carefully keyed the entire thing so that even a brush of chakra other than his or his dogs would set it off. He'd cooked the steaks he'd bought and summoned the entire pack, and surprisingly didn't lose any fingers in the process of feeding the dogs. They'd each given him an appreciative lick before leaving, and Pakkun had stayed behind long enough to make sure that his master was still sane – or at least, sane for Kakashi. He hadn't been reassured.
He'd started training a day earlier than Tsunade had advised, but it was a futile exercise. It only made him realize what he was missing, and more often than not he ended up sitting in a tree reading porn instead of performing his katas. He did enough to keep his body in shape and no more. He was fortunate that his wiry frame didn't lose muscle easily. It took hard work to put it on, but it was the lean type of muscle that clung persistently throughout injury. Liberal use of salves and oils had started to fade the scar on his side, softening the tissue so that it wouldn't bind and constrict the flesh when he twisted.
All in all, it'd been one of the most boring weeks of Kakashi's life, and when he heard a loud knocking on his door, he was almost relieved. It'd be good to face the Chuunin, to get everything out in the open. Maybe then he'd be able to stop thinking about the man, stop obsessing over why he'd broken in, stop wondering about the slight wariness in Tsunade's eyes. Maybe it'd even stop the dreams at night. A month ago, Kakashi would've been happy to be dreaming about anything other than being tortured, but now he almost wished for the bite of kunai against his skin when he closed his eyes. Those dreams still came, but more often than not they'd be interrupted by memories of comforting hands. It was driving the Copy Nin insane. When he opened the door to see a black bowl-cut and a toothy smile instead of warm brown eyes, the feeling relief immediately drained away.
"My Eternal Rival!" Gai beamed at him, and Kakashi sighed, wondering what he'd done to deserve this. He stared at the spandex-clad man and seriously considered slamming the door shut in his face.
"What do you want, Gai?" Kakashi asked.
"Why, to invite you to participate in a Challenge on this fine, Youthful day!"
Kakashi winced and tried closing his eye, just to see if it'd make the green disappear. If there was one color that Kakashi disliked more than the day-glow orange Naruto wore, it was Gai's green spandex. Of course, that dislike was partially influenced by the way said spandex hugged the man's overly muscular frame. When Kakashi opened his eye Gai was still there and still smiling, and he sighed.
"Not now, Gai. Come back some other time." Like never.
"But I have come up with a Most Noble Challenge, Eternal Rival!" Gai exclaimed. He stuck his thumb out and turned up the wattage of his smile, and Kakashi groaned. When Gai was in one of these moods, he was impossible to get rid of, and as much as he didn't want to, Kakashi knew that the quickest way to handle the situation would be to give in. The Copy Nin crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame.
"What is it?" he asked with a sigh. Gai grinned triumphantly.
"A test of speed, shown through noble Combat, oh Rival!"
Unwillingly Kakashi glanced up at the other man, interest sparked. It was rare for Gai to challenge him to a spar – usually he preferred games of chance. And as annoying as the man was, he was blindingly fast. It promised to be a good fight, and perhaps, Kakashi thought, that was exactly what he needed.
"You're on."
***
The spar was fast and harsh, a blur of moving limbs and dodged attacks. They used no jutsu, but to account for Gai's greater speed, Kakashi left the Sharingan uncovered. They fought for hours, silently, with the understanding that comes from years of training together. Knowing where Gai would move to attack, when he'd hold back, and how far he could be pressed didn't make the fight less satisfying. If anything, it made it more so. The people that Kakashi could honestly spar with were rare, and Gai was one of the few he trusted to be strong enough not to get hurt. Kakashi let go of his worries and dedicated himself completely to avoiding the larger man's attacks and countering with his own.
The fight ended with Gai as the victor, and they lay back on the grass, panting for breath, staring up at the sky. It felt good to be so tired, good to have the burn in his muscles, good to have bruises and aches from where Gai's fists had landed, good to have the soreness on his own hands where he'd struck the larger man, good to have the quiet feeling of companionship afterward. It was something that Kakashi would never grow fully accustomed to – finishing a fight without anyone dying, without any hard feelings. There was something unnatural about it for a shinobi, to fight without killing.
Kakashi sighed glanced over at the man lying beside him. Gai's eyes were closed and his chest heaved as he pulled in deep breath after deep breath. Kakashi closed his eyes as well and waited until the man's breathing was steady and calm before speaking.
"How much do you know about Umino Iruka?"
He heard the slight scuffle of Gai's spandex sliding against the grass as he sat up, and felt the man's eyes settle on him thoughtfully. He didn't bother opening his eyes, and after a moment, Gai spoke.
"Not much. Why?" His voice was calm and smooth, the usual manic edge taken off by the heat of the spar. They talked rarely, but when they did it was always like this, and Kakashi reflected for a moment that Gai's mask was far better than his. When you openly wore your mask on your face, it was easy for people to know that it was there. Gai's was far harder to perceive, especially because the Gai he presented to the world was the real Gai – just dialed up and blown out of proportion. It was like Genma's senbon, or Asuma's cigarettes. To survive, Jounin had to fragment their personalities, and Gai, like Kakashi, had even more reason than most. He knew that beneath the man's green spandex was a swirl tattoo, one that perfectly matched the one on his own arm.
Once ANBU, always ANBU.
"No real reason. Just curious." Kakashi answered, and he heard Gai shift. When he opened his eyes he saw that the other man was resting his chin on his knees, looking off into the forest pensively.
"I know that he spent a lot of time with the Third. Other than that, only what my team told me," Gai said. Kakashi lazily arched a brow at that, and Gai glanced over at him.
"What did they say?" Kakashi let the curiosity show in his voice, and Gai looked at him for a long moment before responding. Look underneath the underneath, Kakashi always said, and Gai knew the Copy Nin too well to believe that the questions were idle.
"That he was a good teacher," Gai said quietly, and Kakashi nodded.
"Anything else?" he asked, and Gai shook his head.
"Not really. Why not try asking Sakura?" he suggested, and Kakashi narrowed his eye at him. Gai had been trying to get him to talk to the pink-haired girl for months now. He'd started by reporting the girl's progress with Tsunade one day, and now her name came up whenever they talked like this. Kakashi shook his head.
"She's too busy," he said. Gai snorted.
"Don't you mean you're too busy?" he asked, and Kakashi glared at him. Gai withstood the glare calmly, and Kakashi dropped his gaze, sighing.
"Perhaps," he said.
"Why won't you talk to her?" Gai asked. Kakashi thought about lying, or just ignoring the question, but for some reason he didn't entirely understand, he started talking.
"I never – never really paid much attention to her. It was always about the boys, and she was just there, in the background, quiet and unobtrusive. Whenever I taught them some chakra trick she'd catch on quickly, so quickly that it never really caught on that I might need to teach her, to show her how to do things. When it finally hit me that she might need my help, the team dynamic was already set. If I'd tried to do anything, she would've thought I saw her as weak."
Kakashi fell silent, and Gai didn't push, but Kakashi could feel the man's attention focused on him, quietly waiting. He sighed.
"If I'm honest, I just don't want to face her. I'm the reason Sasuke left. It's my fault that he betrayed the village, my fault that Naruto had to leave. It's my fault that she doesn't have a team."
"You're wrong," Gai said, and his voice was firm. Kakashi glanced up at him, surprised, and Gai continued.
"She has a team, Kakashi-san. She has you."
With that, the black-haired Jounin pushed himself to his feet, and headed for the village. Kakashi knew that the next time he saw him, he'd be ranting about Youth and Springtime and Challenges. And he knew that he'd put up with it, because he owed the man at least that.
***
Kakashi hesitated with his hand on the door. The hospital smelled like cleaner, medicine, and blood, and he didn't like it. He considered turning around, walking out and leaving before it was too late. He pulled his hand back and stuffed it into his pocket, and had already turned to leave when the door behind him opened.
"Kakashi-sensei!" The voice was familiar, girlish and filled with surprise. Kakashi suppressed a sigh and turned around to face his former student. Her face was lit up with a smile, and he awkwardly gave her a two-fingered salute, eye crinkling at the corners.
"Yo."
Sakura beamed at him, and for a moment he thought she was going to hug him, but she held the urge in. He laughed a little, self-consciously, and scratched the back of his head.
"How've you been?" he asked her, and the girl's smile broadened even further. It hurt, to see her smile like that. He hadn't seen that smile since… since Sasuke had left. It was different now, sadder, more adult, but somehow more real.
"Busy. Tsunade-sama keeps me working hard," she said, gesturing at the files she was holding. Kakashi nodded and tried to think of a way to leave without offending her. The girl's green eyes narrowed suddenly, and she looked at him more closely.
"Are you injured, Kakashi-sensei?" she asked, and her voice held a touch of threat to it. Apparently his former student had been briefed on his… ah, tendencies. He smiled.
"Not really," he said. Sakura looked at him as if she didn't believe him, but didn't press the issue. For a moment he was grateful that it hadn't progressed to that point yet – he already saw too much of Tsunade in the way she stood and half-glared at him. It'd be humiliating if his former student started bossing him around the same way the Hokage did.
"What are you doing here, then?" Sakura asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. Kakashi hesitated. It'd be almost easy to do it – to tell her that he'd come to apologize for everything. But apologizing would mean that he felt he deserved to be forgiven, and he didn't. The Copy Nin glanced away.
"Actually, I had a few questions that I wanted to ask you," he told her. Sakura looked surprised, but she nodded.
"Let me just drop these files off. It's almost time for my lunch-break," she told him, then she suddenly grinned. "Ichiraku's?"
Kakashi laughed and nodded. He knew that the pink-haired girl disliked ramen as much as he did, but somehow it felt right.
***
As they walked to the ramen stand, the pink-haired girl babbled about her training, and Kakashi pretended to read his book while listening to every word she said. He'd heard most of it from Gai or from Tsunade herself, but as her teacher, he at least owed her this much – to listen to her accomplishments with a willing ear. He made an assenting sound and turned the page, and the girl went into a long explanation of a particularly difficult medical jutsu that ended only when they were at the restaurant.
If the owner was surprised to see them he didn't let it show, and when he delivered the steaming bowls of ramen, he smiled at them.
"Have you heard anything from Naruto?" he asked, and Kakashi paused for a moment before lowering his book and shaking his head slightly. Sakura was silent, and he could see the tension gathered in her jaw, along with a touch of sadness in her eyes. The man looked uncomfortable for a moment, then smiled at them both.
"Well, if you do, tell him that his next meal is on the house," he said. Kakashi nodded at him and tucked the book away in his jacket. He sniffed at the bowl automatically, then started to eat. He watched Sakura from the corner of his eye, but her attention was focused on the noodles, and she pushed them around in the bowl with her chopsticks.
"I just miss them, you know?" The girl's voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Kakashi sighed and put his chopsticks down, then turned to look at the girl. He hesitated for a moment, trying to decide what to say, then settled on the truth.
"Me too."
The pink-haired kuniochi glanced up at him, surprised, then smiled a little. She took a bite of her noodles then paused, chewing thoughtfully.
"Kakashi-sensei?" she asked. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the girl.
"Yes?"
"What was it that you wanted to ask me about?" Curiosity was clear in her voice, and the Copy Nin glanced away from her. She sighed and tucked into her food while waiting for him to speak, and Kakashi wondered when the girl had learned patience. She seemed like an odd mixture of Tsunade and Shizune, and he wondered if Sakura was still there underneath it all, or if this was who she'd been all along and he'd just never seen her because he was so busy focusing on the one's who'd left.
"Actually, I wanted to ask you a few questions about Iruka-sensei," Kakashi told her.
"Iruka-sensei? Why him?" Sakura asked, and Kakashi shrugged casually.
"No real reason," he said. Sakura titled her head to the side and looked at him assessingly, then shrugged as well.
"What do you want to know?" she asked, and Kakashi considered it for a moment.
"How about everything?" he said, and Sakura smiled.
"Well, I don't know him as well as Naruto does, but he was my teacher for six years."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that, and the pink-haired girl smiled mischievously.
"We were his first class," she said, and Kakashi blinked. His Genin team had been bad enough, but having those three along with Asuma and Kurenai's teams before any of them had learned about things like chakra control or weapon use or anything but how to be little bloodthirsty monsters… as his first class… Kakashi shook his head and let out a low whistle. Sakura grinned back at him.
"I know. So, where to start…"
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