"James!" the blonde groaned, tangling his fingers in the other's soft, brown hair. He watched the brunette's plump lips sliding down over his hard length; the sight drove him crazy with arousal. A slight seen of sweat broke over his body as his hips bucked up into James' warm mouth.
He couldn't really believe they were in this position, him sitting on his bed with James on his knees in front of him, dick stuffed in his mouth. He could feel the tell-tale shake in his leg, signaling his impending release. The greater pleasure in his life coursed through his body seconds before...
He woke up from possibly the greatest dream ever suddenly, chest heaving, sweat beading down his forehead. He sighed as the annoying aftermath of a wet dream became apparent, the sticky white substance drying on his unusually warm skin.
It had seemed like forever since he'd had to deal with this. There hadn't been anyone decent enough to dream about in prison and even before that there hadn't been anyone he was interested in. But now both of those were false so there was nothing stopping him from dreaming of the other boy. He stumbled out of bed and off to the bathroom to clean himself up.
He got ready for school like normal but he had another twenty minutes before James would be there to pick him up. He found his mom downstairs, quickly fixing up some breakfast before she bolted off to work. She worked at a popular restaurant one city over, so it took her away frequently for extended amounts of time. He was often times left to babysit his little sister; he didn't really mind though.
"So Katie told me you guys had a talk last night..." He waited for his mom to continue; it sounded like there was more coming. There was always more. "Why would you tell her that Kendall?" she questioned, setting a plate down in front of him. "She's just a kid."
"Yeah, the same kid you take to therapy every other week," he quipped, only to sigh when his mom glared at him. "She's not the same little girl she used to be, she's grown up," he reasoned, pushing around the eggs on his plate. "Besides, I'd rather she hear it from me."
"Maybe I just shouldn't go in today..."
"You don't trust me!" Kendall accused, hurt and disbelief clearly expressed in his voice and across his face. "I can take care of Katie, Mom. I always have."
Any further argument was cut off when he got a text from James who was now waiting outside for him. Fighting off the surge of irritation that was creeping up on him, he grabbed his backpack, promptly leaving, not bothering with a goodbye.
He couldn't believe what his mom had been implying. He would never do anything to harm or endanger his baby sister. His intentions were always the dead opposite. Why his mom couldn't see that, he didn't know.
But the second he climbed into the passenger seat and saw James smiling back at him, everything else seemed to just melt away. All his worries and frustrations didn't mean a thing and he was overcome with overwhelming happiness, an infectious joy that just forced a smile onto his face.
Ever since their first kiss, their relationship had hardly changed. He still felt that initial flutter of his heart whenever James smiled at him, which had increased greatly since then. The boundaries of their relationship had yet to be reassessed and every time he was with James, so were Carlos and Logan. The two always seemed to tag along; he and James were never alone...until now.
"Considering how long it took you to kiss me, I better get this ball rolling," James said, only partially joking. "You've got 5 minutes before we get to Carlos' house to ask me out."
"Unless you don't want to," he mumbled when met with Kendall's momentary silence.
Kendall found his hands begin to tremble. He knew he should've told James everything that second because relationships were nothing without honesty and lying from the get-go was destined to blow up later.
"I want to James," he whispered, sincerely, "It's just...my life here just started it seems and everything's bound to catch up with me soon. I don't want you caught in the middle of all my drama."
Kendall then braced himself for the numerous questions James would inevitably hammer him with as they pulled up to Carlos' house. He didn't expect him to silent tug back his sleeves to reveal two nasty, thick crisscrossed scars on each wrist. A myriad of smaller, more faded scars marred his flawless skin, almost all the way up to his elbow.
"We've all got our shit Kendall."
Each word stabbed at his heart with such an intense pain he almost stopped breathing. James was practically his brother and the reality James was describing, that he'd somehow missed, was downright horrifying. But still he had to just sit and listen, despite the hundreds of questions on his tongue.
"I don't know how to describe it," James muttered meekly, picking at the bandages around his wrists. "I guess all the physical pain makes everything else hurt less, takes the focus off it."
Logan couldn't fathom such a pain that James felt the need to seek refuge from it by physically and intentionally harming himself. It didn't take a doctor to know that wasn't healthy. And Logan wanted to be a doctor some day so he took it into his own hands that his first job would be fixing his best friend.
Carlos emerged from the shower to find Logan lost in his thoughts, which wasn't exactly uncommon. He knew exactly what was on his mind too. Despite his barely passing, slipping grades, he understood what was going on. Sometimes Logan used big words he didn't know but this time he understood his boyfriend's thought process. That didn't mean he agreed with it.
He was with Logan that night they found James in his bathroom, motionless on the floor, both wrists slit. He had been at the hospital, alongside Logan, listening to James claiming he didn't intended to kill himself. Everything Logan had experienced, so did he. He supposed they just had different definitions of "protect" and Logan's was a little too similar to "smother" or "suffocate." Logan meant the best, he knew that.
Walking over to his bed, he leaned down to kiss the other out of his thoughts. "Stop thinking so much cutie, nothing good ever comes from it."
"I can't help it Carlos," Logan sighed, sitting up and crossing his legs. "I just don't want him to go through more crap. I don't know if he'd be able to take it."
"You have to trust him," the Latino boy said, pulling on some boxers.
"It's not James I don't trust..." Logan told him, looking up at his boyfriend with vulnerable, concerned eyes. Carlos swore Logan could get whatever he wanted with that look, those puppy dog eyes. He was defenseless against them.
Kendall's breath hitched as James revealed the scars all over his forearms. His heart constricted painfully at the sight. He wanted to know why all these marks littered his seemingly perfect skin, wanted to know what caused James that much pain. He didn't want to ask, he knew James would tell him when he was ready.
Before he could stop himself, he was reaching over, fingertips brushing over the thickest, nastiest one. James looked up at Kendall with a gentle expression.
"Look Kendall..." he sighed, inching his hand back to lace his fingers with Kendall's. "Whatever it is, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself."
"It's not you James," he assured the other, reaching up to tuck back a few strands of hair behind his ear. "This is me, it's my burden and I won't put that on you."
"You're trying to rebuild your life and I respect that," James said softly, "Just...don't make me wait forever okay?"
Kendall smiled, brushing his thumb over his cheek. "I promise."
And then, seconds later, Carlos and Logan got in the backseat, fingers laced as usual.
"Hey there's this carnival a few towns over," James brought up, glancing over at the other boy, "Wanna go with me tonight Kendall?"
The blonde grinned, "Sure, I'd love that."
"We'd love to join too," Logan interrupted leaning forward to smile at his friend.
"Okay," James chuckled.
Kendall hated how James thought the other's odd behavior was amusing. Nothing about it was amusing, more irritating really. But as always, he just bit his tongue and pretended it didn't annoy him immensely. Anything to make James happy.
Kendall ignored Carlos' excited rambles about the carnival in favor of brainstorming ways to keep his past hidden. He knew he had to be honest with James eventually but he was just so scared of losing him that the thought of telling him everything absolutely terrified him.
Logan settled back against his boyfriend; it was getting exhausting inviting them into all of James' plans with Kendall. He smiled softly up at the other boy, relaxed by the kiss Carlos placed to his forehead. It was amazing how much crap Carlos put up with him; that was one reason he loved Carlos so much. They pulled into the parking lot and found a decent spot before they all 4 got out.
"Why don't you and walk ahead?" Logan said to Carlos, subtly gesturing towards James. After promising to catch up with him later and kissing his cheek, Carlos walked off with the other boy. James seemed to be eying him suspiciously as he grabbed his school bag. He knew this would probably be a hard conversation to have but they had to have it.
"James, I need to talk to you about Kendall..." he started uncertainly as they began walking to school. He didn't miss the expression on James face at the mere mention of the other boy.
"I honestly can't remember the last time I was this happy Logan. Kendall is so..." he paused, glancing over at him. "I think I'm falling in love with him."
Logan's eyes went wide at this confession. How could this happen? This couldn't be good at all.
"I know!" James exclaimed to his seemingly surprised and luckily unnoticably worried expression. "It's so soon but no one has ever made me feel like this before."
Logan's heart broke; this is exactly what he was afraid of. James would fall for him then Kendall would break his heart or hurt him even worse. He couldn't break it to him now; he wanted to protect James but not at the cost of his happiness because who was he to ruin the one thing that made James happy.
He just couldn't do that, despite his logic arguing that James would get hurt either way. At least this way he wasn't the one causing it. At least when it all went down, James wouldn't resent him for ruining his chance with his "dream" guy.
"I was just going to tell you I think Kendall likes you," he lied, knowing I twould kill him if he was the one to hurt his friend.
"I think so too," James muttered blushing and Logan instantly noted it as the same expression he wore after his and Carlos' first kiss. He honestly wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing; for once, he just didn't know.
It was finally the last period of the day and Kendall was beyond antsy. A mere hour stood between him and a week without school. Normally he'd be bittersweet to the occasion because then he wouldn't get to see James but the brunette had already insisted they hang out so Kendall was beyond excited.
And all that they were doing was watching a movie on work place safety. He smiled as James slid a piece of paper his way. Despite the teacher's skeptic, disapproval, they always sat by each other. He peered through the darkness, reading the note.
The only thing hazardous in this place is that girl's hair. Seriously, what is this, the eighties?
Kendall was about to laugh (a little more so than usual because that's what you did when you really liked someone) when the pair was called over to the teacher's desk. They exchanged wide eyed nervous glances before both walking over there.
"I can't believe that bitch is making us do extra credit," Kendall exclaimed heatedly as they walked to James' car. Their teacher had called them over to alert them of their near failing grades and that, if they wanted to get them up, they'd have to do mandatory extra credit, which involved correctly preparing 2 dishes which they had to serve to a family member of some sort. Kendall would never be cruel enough to submit his family to that.
James chuckled, "I can."
The typical guy response of hitting James arm (not hard of course) for response was smothered by the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
He had to do his best to suppress this same urge as he got out of the car. The same on James' face when he proclaimed that he'd see him tonight made his heart speed up a little. Walking to the door, he tried to calm it but found himself unable to do so. He greeted his little sister who was watching TV still on a high. His mom came into the room, adjusting her earrings.
"Oh good, you're home," she exclaimed. "I need you to watch Katie."
"But I have plans tonight." He honestly didn't mind watching her but he did when it interfered with his plans with James. "Besides, I thought she had that sleepover."
"She barfed in the middle of class today," Katie chimed in, not appearing too broken up about it.
"They think its the stomach flu," his mom explained.
"She's old enough to stay home alone," Kendall insisted.
"Can I mom?"
"No," she answered shortly before turning back to him. "You're watching her, end of story."
He groaned in frustration as his mom left for work.
"Sorry big bro," Katie said, a hint of guilt in her voice.
He plopped down on the couch beside her. "Don't worry about it." He pulled out his phone to text James his inability to go.
Message sent to James
Is this carnival one night only?
"Were your plans with James?"
He nodded.
New message from James
runs all week
Message sent to James
stuck babysitting sis tonight. reschedule?
"You really like him huh?"
Kendall looked over at his sister and nodded again, face expressing his deep fondness for the other boy.
New message from James
sure. want some company tonight?
"Yeah, I really, really do."
"Don't mess it up."
"I'll try."
By the time 6:30 rolled around and James' car pulled into his driveway, Kendall was absolutely giddy with joy. A whole evening just himself and James, no pestering from James' friends. Well, Katie would be there but she wasn't nearly as bad as Logan, seeing as she didn't want to systematically destroy his chances with the other boy.
"Be more obvious," Katie said sarcastically, referring to the wide, goofy grin he wore walking to the door.
"I can't help," he muttered as he swung the door open. They'd only been apart for roughly three hours and Kendall found he missed him as if they hadn't seen each other for weeks. The blonde couldn't even fathom what he might've done had Katie not been sitting right there.
"Hey," he greeted casually, stepping aside to the let him in.
"Hey."
It was still funny to Kendall how much James' sweet smile affected him. James kicked off his shoes and went to hang up his coat and in that few seconds Katie gave him the thumbs up.
"James, this is Katie, my little sister," he introduced them but Katie's attention was now focused back on the TV.
"Katie! This is James," he put on a smile to cover up his irritated emphasis on his sister's name. He was grateful she looked up long enough for a brief "hey" to be exchanged. He rolled his eyes as her attention snapped right back to the TV.
"So how about a tour?" James asked with a grin.
"Alright, this is the living room," he said, leading the other boy through the room and into the kitchen. "And this is the kitchen. Pretty interesting huh?"
"Super," James affirmed with a joking smile.
"You just want to see my bedroom, don't you?" Kendall questioned, eying him with a playful suspicion.
"Guilty," he exclaimed, chuckling softly.
"Right this way then," he murmured, leading James down the hallway to his room. "Ta-da!" he exclaimed (AW), lacking the typical enthusiasm associated with that exclamation. His room was nothing special and frankly a little messy, a tad more so than could be covered by the usual boy messiness.
James smiled, stepping into the room. It might not have been extravagant like he was used to but he loved it. It was warm and cozy, not to mention it smelled exactly like Kendall and that was possibly his favorite scent in the world. He looked down, noting all the clothes, including boxers, lying discarded on the floor. That was a sight he desperately wished to see in his own room.
The smile that spread over his face when entered must've been permanently etched onto his lips because he couldn't wipe it off if he wanted to. It did, however, turn into a slight smirk as he walked over to Kendall's bed, falling down onto it.
Kendall wasn't sure what possessed him to do so but he found himself joining the other boy on his bed. He laid beside James, on his side propped up on his elbow, so close his chest brushed James' side with each breath he took. His hand reached over, brushing a few pieces of hair back before cupping his cheek and bringing their lips together.
This kiss wasn't as tender as their first two; it held more passion and intensity, lips moving together in a slow, sensual rhythm. It lasted much, much longer too...
The show finally ended and it'd been almost twenty minutes since the two disappeared upstairs. Katie wasn't completely sure she wanted to go find out exactly what they were up to but she was super hungry and their mom had left them money to order a pizza. Even though the door was wide open, she felt like she was invading their privacy.
Of course the two were so engrossed in each other that neither of them noticed her there at all. She smiled proudly as she headed back out to the kitchen to grab the phone. She was happy her brother found someone who made him so happy and James seemed like a good guy. She dialed the pizza place, ordering their dinner and letting the two have their moment.
No matter how hard he tried, Kendall just couldn't bring himself to end that perfect moment. Every time he pulled away, he was roped right back in. He made the mistake of looking into James' eyes when he pulled back and his self-control went right out the window. It was the sight invitation that drew him back every time and he wondered if he'd ever be able to get away, though not one fiber of his being wanted to.
His lips tingled with excitement and his heart raced with the ecstatic rush as he slowly, reluctantly pulled away. At least this time he had enough sense not to mention his mom or any present "booboos."
"So remind me again why you can't ask me out," James said only partially joking, still slightly breathless from their lengthy kiss.
Kendall shook his head, on a high and unable to process anything that wasn't the feel of James' lips against his. "I don't even know," he answered dumbly, reaching back up to caress the other's rosy cheek. He was about to lean down and kiss James again when a voice from the living room interrupted them.
"Kendall! Pizza guy is here! Where's the money Mom left?"
Kendall sighed, pulling away from the other boy, who followed him out to the living room. He paid the guy and took the pizza into the kitchen, placing it on the counter. A small smile tugged at his lips at the blush that still resided in the other's cheeks. He loved knowing he had the same effect on James as James had on him. He let his fingers brush against James' as he passed behind him to grab the plates.
A whole pizza and 3 hours of TV later, 10 o'clock was approaching and it was past Katie's bedtime. She insisted she was too old for a bedtime and he kind of agreed but he knew his mom would be pissed if she stayed up too late. 10 minutes passed since Kendall went to check to make sure she was actually going to bed. James grew curious and a little impatient of sitting alone so he went to investigate.
He peeked in the open door and was almost in awe at the sight before him. Katie was in bed under the covers and Kendall was sitting on the edge of her bed, singing to her softly. The other boy had a very melodic, soothing voice, made apparent when, 5 minutes later, Katie was sound asleep. It was a heartwarming sight to witness.
"Works every time," Kendall commented, exiting the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.
James smiled, casually lacing their fingers together and holding his hand as they returned to the living room. A moment's frown spread over his face when they sat back down and Kendall untangled their fingers. His smile returned, however, and increased tenfold when the other boy instead put his arm around him.
He felt a blush tint his cheeks as he settled against Kendall's side. It wasn't long before he was falling asleep, lulled by the security of being in the arms of the one he loved.
