Hey guys, I"m back again! Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter, I'm glad you guys all enjoyed it. One thing though. Please don't request slash. I get that you guys all like it, but it makes me uncomfortable so please just be happy with the little bits of suggestiveness mixed in here and there. I feel bad when you ask because then I have to say no and I feel like I'm disappointing you. Sorry. But enjoy the chapter!

Jack: Hello universe! It is I, the incredibly awesome and supermegafoxyawesomehot Jack Merridew! But of course, you knew that. *winks slyly* You may be wondering why I would choose to use my valuable time to create a video for my fans, but don't, because that's stupid. First of all, who am I to deny you all the pleasure of hearing my heavenly speaking voice? Secondly, I am confined to this horribly ugly room that I'm forced to share with *shudders* Ralph while I'm staying at his house. You see, my parents are out of town, and Ralph's my neighbor, so his family has the honor of sharing their less than lovely home with yours truly. And thirdly, I read that book- Lord of the Flies was it?- for school, and I noticed a great many errors made by our dear William Golding. So, I'm here to clear things up for you my lovely readers/viewers.

Still Jack: 1. It appears that he described my as "ugly without silliness." Well I never! That is a lie, an outright lie I tell you! But, I shall forgive him, for he must have only been jealous of my incredible beauty. And really, could you blame him? *flashes smile at camera* So, I've taken the time to write a better description of myself that you wise members of my audience may want to pencil into your copies of the book, just to clear away confusion:

"And then, the speaker and strong leader of the approaching choir marched up to the airheaded blonde with an air of undeniable confidence about him. Him meaning the strong leader, not the blonde, of course. It was clear to the group as soon as his face was made visible to them that before them was the most beautiful boy that they would ever be likely to lay eyes on."

Still Jack: There. Isn't that much more realistic?

Ralph: *from behind the door to his room* Jack! Quit talking to yourself and open this goddamn door! I need to get in there.

Jack: Not now you idiotic asshat! *whining* I'm busy!

Ralph: I've got a date in ten minutes, I have to change!

Jack: Just wear what you have on! You don't have a chance with her anyway!

Ralph: But Jack-

Jack: I said shush! Do you want me to call Roger?

Ralph: *is silent*

Jack: Thank you. Now as I was saying. There's another apparent mistake in the writing of this novel-

Ralph: Oh God, you're not ranting about Lord of the Flies again are you?

Jack: Roger.

Ralph: I'll be shutting up now.

Jack: I'd like to apologize. Ralph's tense because he needs desperately to use this girl as a cover. He's having some issues getting out of the closet you see.

Ralph: Hey!

Jack: Anyway, the next is a problem with my hair. I'm sorry Will, but you seemed to have forgotten that due to my lack of a soul and my possession of a brain, I can't be a blonde. As you can quite clearly see, I am a ginger.

Ralph: Heheh...heheh...gingers.

Jack: SHUT UP!

Ralph: Oh, go fuck Roger

Jack: Already did.

Ralph: WHAT? IN MY ROOM?

Jack: It was sarcasm idiot. I'm not gay- like you.

Ralph: Oh for Christ's sake, I'm not gay!

Jack: Don't bring Simon into this.

Ralph: You can't see, but I'm rolling my eyes.

Jack: Well that's not okay. Whatever, ignore him everybody. Next up is the part where Roger is throwing rocks at the little kids. Well, I'm going to start by saying Roger has way better aim than that. I assure you, there was blood. But Will made it seem like no one knew he was doing that. EVERYONE knew he was doing that. Roger's sneaky, but come on. It's an island full of homosexuals, and then like five straight guys. If one person knows, everybody knows. In this case, it was the king of the gays who saw.

*~*~*FlAsHbAcK*~*~*

Gay King Ralph: *in an extremely feminine voice* Um, Jack, I know you're like, hunting, and I don't want to bother you, but Roger's throwing rocks at little girls.

Henry: I'm a boy

Ralph: Shush.

Jack: I knew that.

Ralph: Well, shouldn't you be like, stopping him?

Jack: Why would I? He's practicing *forshadowing and dramatic music*

Ralph: I'm going to act like there's nothing out of the ordinary about that sentence.

Roger: *Appears out of nowhere, gives everyone a creepy look, and walks away*

Ralph: Well, I don't care about his practicing. But that dude's really creepy.

Jack: *gasps* Well I never! Roger McAllistor is one of the greatest, kindest, SEXIEST boys I've ever met!

Roger: O_o That disturbs me

Ralph: But it's not a lie

*~*~*Flashback ends*~*~*

Ralph: Sexiest boy you've ever met? Oh yea, and I'M the gay one.

Jack: You are. I was just quoting A Very Potter Musical.

Ralph:...

Jack: Shut up! *clearing throat* I apologize once again. Anyway, I don't have time to correct all the errors in the book in just this one video, so I'll leave off with just this one, and continue on another video. You see, the hunters and I didn't leave because of a beast or Ralph's horrible leadership. Everyone was under my command at that point anyway, Ralph's chiefness was all a farce.

Ralph: That's a lie!

Jack: SHUT UP! *continuing like absolutely nothing happened* The real reason that we left was that we all got sick of having to hear Ralph and Piggy fucking each other's brains out when they thought we were all asleep.

Ralph: THAT IS A LIE I AM STRAIGHT AND THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED JACK MERRIDEW!

Ralph's Mom: *from downstairs* Language Ralph!

Jack: Naughty naughty Ralph. And I'm not talking about the language, wink wink.

Ralph: Oh for Christ's sake-

Jack: Don't bring Simon into this!

Ralph: *continuing like Jack didn't speak* i'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU JACK MERRIDEW! *bursts into the room all red in the face and angry*

Jack: *to computer* That'll be all for this- *Ralph shoves him and his body knocks the computer off the desk. Insert sounds of fighting.*

Roger: Hi.

Jack and Ralph: *pause*

Ralph: How long have you been here.

Roger: *shrugs* Whole time.

Jack and Ralph: *back out of room slowly.*

Why is there always a stalker in these? I think I have a stalker problem... Haha. That was fun to write, but I"m going to tell you all now that those brief references are the closest thing to slash I'll ever write. Got it? Good. Hope you liked it, please review! And if there's anything you want to see in the upcoming chapters, please tell me, I'm open to suggestions!