Dean was unkindly ripped from the blissful arms of sleep by the sound of music. The strains of what sounded like a rhythm and blues song filtered through the bedroom door, and while the tune didn't necessarily sound bad, it certainly didn't hold a candle to classic rock. Dean put forth his best effort to ignore it, even tried pulling his pillow up around his ears, but he still couldn't block out the smooth melody. Once Dean was awake, it was almost impossible for him to reclaim his restful state.
Chalking his plan for sleeping in up to a lost cause, Dean threw back the covers and dragged himself out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair as he yawned and blearily looked about the room. Finding his bag in the corner where he'd left it last night, Dean brought it over to the bed and pulled out some decent clothes to change into.
The other side of the bed was empty meaning Sam was already up and about somewhere. Dean rarely managed to wake before Sam these days. When Dean finished changing, he left the guest bedroom and noticed that out in the hallway the volume level of the music nearly doubled, putting it somewhere in the audio range of blaring.
All the ruckus was clearly coming from the kitchen, but Dean wandered over to the living room's entryway first. Peering in, he found Xander still spread out on his stomach on the couch, one arm hanging over the edge, almost touching the floor.
Dean frowned, thinking surely no one could sleep through the racket currently permeating the house, and called out, "Hey, are you awake?"
When his call received no response he called again, louder this time, "Hey, Xander!"
This time, when Xander remained motionless, a small thread worry started to twist its way through Dean and he made it to the couch in three quick strides, sighing in relief as he made out the rise and fall of Xander's breathing. Apparently, all his years of demon hunting had started to make Dean overly paranoid.
He was also a little annoyed at the surge of concern that had risen up in him for the younger man. Whatever Xander represented in the family scheme of things, Dean had been so determined to keep a closed gate on the family triangle that had up until now only consisted of Sam, his father, and himself. They had had only each other to depend on for so long that when it came to his father and brother, Dean could be fiercely loyal and protective. He wasn't about to let just anyone into his close-knit circle, no matter their relation. But it had only been one day and already Dean could feel the familiar big-brother instincts, that till now had been reserved for Sam alone, stirring in regard to Xander.
He wanted to blame Sam for it. Dean would have been happy to bury himself in denial and disbelief, but Sam had seemed convinced last night that Xander was their brother, and that left little choice for Dean but to believe it as well. You didn't leave family in an uncertain circumstance without back-up, so if Sam was going into this situation headfirst then Dean would have to too. Where one brother went, the other followed; it was as simple as that.
Dean gave Xander's shoulder a slight shake in a last-ditch effort to wake him, but Xander continued to sleep on, blissfully unaware. "Huh. He really does sleep like the dead," Dean said softly, thinking at least one person in the house would get to sleep in today.
Dean made his way to the kitchen, then, where he found Sam leaning against the kitchen counter, cup of coffee in hand, while Missouri stood by the stove stirring batter in a bowl and singing along with the radio in a surprisingly good voice.
"Well it's about time you woke up," she said when she noticed him.
"It's not like I had any choice in the matter," Dean complained. "Do you wake up the whole neighborhood this way every day?"
Missouri held the bowl in one hand and put her other hand on her hip as she turned to face him, "Are you saying there's something wrong with my singing?"
Dean threw his hands up in surrender, "Wouldn't dream of it." It was way too early to start the old married couple routine, Dean thought, and moved to take a seat at the small kitchen table near the wall. "So aren't you going to ask how your guest slept last night?"
Missouri gave him a dismissive look before pouring out small circles of batter onto a griddle on the stove. "Well, considering you've already slept a good portion of the morning away, it couldn't have been that bad."
"It's only 9 a.m.!" Dean proclaimed indignantly. Sam sat down at the table across from Dean then, holding two cups of coffee, one of which he slid across the table in front of Dean.
"Which is late in the day by some people's standards," Missouri informed him as the scent of pancakes wafted into the air.
"Yeah, well some people don't live the exciting kind of night life that we do, " Dean remarked before downing a couple swallows of coffee.
Missouri ignored his poor excuse and instead found another aspect about him that she could criticize, "And haven't you ever heard of a comb?"
Dean gave her an affronted look and raised a hand to the disastrous case of bed-head he currently sported. The hair on one side was flattened to his head while the other half stuck straight up. "Chicks dig this look," he defended.
Missouri eyed him doubtfully, "You just keep telling yourself that, honey."
Xander stumbled through the doorway then, looking asleep on his feet and asked with his eyes still half-closed, "Do I smell pancakes?" It would seem all it took to wake the dead was the smell of food cooking.
"Blueberry," Missouri answered him cheerfully.
Xander stood, swaying, in the middle of the kitchen as he rubbed a hand over his face in an attempt to wake himself. Dean watched him for a moment, before pushing out the chair between Sam and himself with his foot in a wordless invitation. The hint filtered through Xander's sleep-addled brain and he moved mechanically to the seat.
"Did you sleep all right, Xander?" Missouri asked, and Dean shot her an incredulous stare, wondering why Xander got such polite treatment when he'd been so spectacularly snubbed. Sam laughed at the exchange as he stood and moved toward the coffee pot.
"Mmm hmm," Xander managed around a yawn. Sam returned with the coffee pot and another cup of coffee which he placed in front of Xander before refilling his and Dean's cups.
"Well if he did, it wasn't thanks to your musical wake-up call," Dean harped again.
"There was music?" Xander asked sleepily, noticing at that moment the cup of coffee that had miraculously appeared before him as he grabbed it and gulped half of it down in one go.
"Only loud enough to wake half the city," Dean replied. "How did you manage to sleep through it?"
Missouri came over and placed some empty plates and silverware on the table along with some blueberry syrup.
"It's a gift," Xander shrugged, now starting to look more awake than asleep.
Dean shook his head. "Well, you're luckier than I was. I wouldn't have been able to block that out with ear plugs and a load of pillows."
Missouri came over to the table again, this time with a dangerously tall stack of pancakes and gave Dean a warning look. "You better mind your manners if you intend to get any breakfast this morning."
She held the plate out to Xander, and he forked six pancakes onto his plate which he proceeded to douse with syrup.
"Dude," Sam exclaimed with astonished amusement. "Where are you going to put all that?"
"Oh, don't worry," Xander told him, "I'll find room. Willow has this theory that I've got a second stomach specifically for all sugar-saturated foods."
Sam chuckled. "Hey, Dean, maybe that's what you've got," Sam teased Dean, who was already piling up his own healthy-sized stack of pancakes before following Xander's example and smothering them in syrup.
"Right. Says the doughnut king," he shot back.
Missouri moved around the table and took the seat across from Xander, "Well, I don't know how you boys stay so skinny with as much junk food as you put away."
"We're growing boys," Dean answered for all them.
The morning seemed to have lost most of yesterday's tension somewhere in the night, and Dean, who had managed to cool off considerably, couldn't seem to find it in him to keep giving Xander a hard time. Overall, the mood had shifted to a calmer vibe which allowed them to eat their breakfast together in a fairly companionable atmosphere.
"Well, if you boys grow much taller you'll have to duck to get through doorways," Missouri cautioned them.
"I don't know," Xander raised a shoulder in a half-shrug, "I think I could stand to grow a couple more inches."
"No way," Dean disagreed. "I refuse to go back to being the shortest. I'm the oldest, and it just isn't right."
Xander smirked around a mouthful of pancake.
"It's bad enough as it is that Sam is taller than I am," Dean continued.
Sam chuckled, "If you think it's bad for you, imagine how Dad felt when I outgrew him." Sam seemed to realize what he'd said a second after it came out of his mouth, and at the thought of their father the amusement left his face.
Missouri must have sensed the change because she jumped in in an effort to keep the conversation moving, "It looks like it's going to be a nice day. You boys should go find something to do in town."
Sam turned to her with an interested look, "Like what?"
"Well, you could catch a movie," Missouri suggested, "or I always enjoy a good game of miniature golf."
Dean frowned. "Actually, Sam and I should probably hit the road soon."
"You really aren't one for sticking around long, are you?" Xander piped up, and Dean glanced at him in surprise. It looked like sugar and a good night's sleep went a long way to putting some spark in Xander. Dean wasn't sure he liked that much.
"We could, you know," Sam put in. "We don't really have to be anywhere right now. We could stick around for a few days."
Dean's eyes narrowed at Sam. "I thought you were the one who was so dead set on finding that thing we were looking for."
Sam's voice took on some edge, "Well it's not like we're any closer to finding it now than we were when we first started. I don't see what difference a few days will make."
"Did you guys lose something?" Xander asked warily, no doubt confused at the tension that had seeped into the conversation.
"Not exactly," Dean answered him, his eyes still riveted on Sam. He was rather shocked at Sam's sudden indifference to the search for the father. Sam's feelings about their father's disappearance had been pushed to a new level of intensity when Dean's desperate phone call hadn't produced any results the last time they were in Lawrence. That Sam was so ready to put those feelings on hold surprised Dean, and he guessed this thing with Xander must have thrown Sam for more of a loop than Dean had previously thought.
Dean continued his endeavor to make a point, "Besides that, we still have a job to do."
"Yeah, well, I think we're about due a break from our job and now's just as good a time as any to take it," Sam's voice rose a bit.
Dean didn't know what Sam was getting so worked up over, but he'd had just about enough, "Yeah, well, I say no, and since I'm older, what I say goes."
Sam looked as though what he was about to say next was going to be less than flattering, and Missouri quickly cut in with her own suggestion. "Why don't you just take Xander with you? You can keep moving and still get to know each other better."
"What?" Dean said sharply, his head snapping around to look at her.
"I'm sure Xander doesn't have any set plans," Missouri added, sending a questioning look at Xander.
Xander appeared interested at the idea as he said, "Yeah, I just planned to travel around as much of the U.S. as I could, see some new places. Wherever you guys are going is probably just as good a place as any."
"I really don't that's such a good idea," Dean finally got a word in.
Xander rolled his eyes, misinterpreting Dean's resistance, "Look, I can pay my own way and stuff. Whatever you might think, I'm really not here to try to swindle you."
Dean winced at having his words thrown back at him. He had really meant only half of what of what he'd been saying yesterday and meant even less of it today. He was surprised that Xander would even consider going with them after the way Dean had acted yesterday, which Dean had to admit had not been one of his shining moments, but Dean guessed Xander was reluctant to let the only connection he'd found to his real father just walk away.
"That's not what I was getting at," Dean said, trying his best to sound believable. "You see, when Sam and I are on a job, we really need to be focused."
"Right…" Xander drawled sarcastically, "'cause having a long-lost brother tag along would really screw with a person's ability to perform delicate tasks such as window cleaning. That must require real dedication," Xander snarked.
"Hey!" Dean corrected, "We don't do windows." Dean was wishing he'd put a little more thought into their cover-story now.
"Then fixing pipes or walls or whatever it is you do," Xander amended.
"Besides, that's not the point I'm trying to make," Dean was beginning to think he didn't have a point at all. "You'd probably just be bored hanging around with us anyway. Our jobs aren't really all that exciting." Of course, in reality, their jobs were usually too exciting.
"I don't mind," Xander returned. They'd all given up any pretense of eating by now.
"Yeah, but-" Dean started, only to be cut off by Xander.
"And if it's that big of a deal then we can just travel together until we get wherever you're going next and then I'll head off on my own again," Xander implored.
Dean decided this had gone long enough, and told Xander firmly, in a tone that brooked no argument, "Look, Xander. No offense, but I just don't think this is a good idea, all right?"
Xander pasted on a smile with such a quick turn-around that Dean was a bit thrown. "Yeah, sure. Hey, it's no big deal," Xander said easily. "Actually, there's this mustard museum in Wisconsin I've been jonesing to see."
"Uh…what?" Dean said, trying to wrap his mind around a museum for mustard and figure out just how the conversation had ended up there.
"Xander, would you and Sam mind going to the post office and checking my box for me? The post office is just a few blocks back of here." Missouri asked kindly, then added much less kindly with a little bite, "Dean here's going to help me wash up these dishes."
"Yeah, sure," Xander complied and stood up. Missouri got up and retrieved her box key before handing it over to Xander and returning to her seat.
Xander went to leave, and Sam stood up to follow without so much as a word and shot Dean a less than warm look as he did. Dean got the feeling he hadn't won himself any points with either one of them.
"Damn," Dean said and gave a tired sigh after they were gone. "Well, that could have gone better."
"Yeah, you've got about as much tact as an elephant has grace in a china shop," Missouri agreed.
"Hey, at least I was trying," Dean said in his defense. "You're not exactly the queen of finesse yourself. What the hell were thinking dropping this on us without any kind of warning?"
"If I had told you what this was all about when I called, would you have even come?" Missouri asked him seriously.
"Honestly?" Dean thought about it. "I probably wouldn't have even believed you."
"But you do now?" Missouri asked.
Dean shrugged, "Sam does."
"But I wasn't asking Sam," Missouri prodded gently. As much as Missouri liked to keep Dean on the ropes, she had just as much of a soft spot for him as she did for Sam, and Dean got the feeling she was trying to push him into some kind of heartfelt conversation.
Never one to give into such things easily, Dean couldn't stop himself from smartly replying, "What? You can't tell just from reading my mind?"
Missouri rolled her eyes and gave an aggravated huff, "Boy, I'd have better luck talking to a brick wall than to you."
Missouri stared at him with an expectant look, and at length Dean realized he wasn't going to get out of this. "I believe it," he muttered, looking away. "I just don't know what to do about it."
"Well, like said, you should take Xander with you."
Dean looked back at her and his face registered his bewildered incredulity, "Yeah, and back to that, what the hell were you thinking suggesting that?"
"Boy, quit cussin' at me," Missouri said sharply. "And why not take Xander along?"
"Well, for starters," Dean began gearing up for a rant, "what exactly are we supposed to tell him when we run into some ghost or creature that we have to take care of?"
"Well, you could always tell him the truth."
Dean mock-considered the option, "Well, it would probably be the quickest way to run him off." Missouri's response to that was to whack him upside the head. Dean flinched back and scowled at her, rubbing the back of his skull. "Now that's really uncalled for."
Missouri paid him no attention. "I think Xander would be more capable of handling the truth than you give him credit for."
"Okay, let's assume he can handle it," Dean conceded. "It would still be putting him unnecessarily in harm's way. With the kind of stuff Sam and I get into, Xander could get hurt or even killed."
Missouri just grinned, and Dean's face screwed in up confusion. "What?"
"You like him, don't you?"
"What?" Dean nearly squeaked, the statement seemingly coming out of left field. "No I don't."
"You like him," Missouri stated more firmly. "And the idea of letting in someone new really bothers you."
Dean groaned and rolled his eyes, "What, are you my psychiatrist now?"
"No, I'm psychic," she reminded him. "And I have a feeling you're going to need Xander on this trip."
Dean's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure," Missouri confessed. "I just get the feeling it's important for you boys to stick together."
Dean eyed her warily, "And how do I know this isn't just another ploy to get me to do what you want?"
Missouri just shrugged and grinned.
Dean dropped his head in his hands and let out a muffled groan. "You're going to be the death of me, woman."
Xander and Sam had walked for a couple of blocks without talking when Sam finally broke the silence. "I know Dean can be an ass at times, but he's really not that bad once you get to know him."
"Not that that seems likely to happen anytime soon," Xander returned.
"I don't know. Missouri's not one to just let things go. If anyone can bully Dean into doing something, it's her."
"Yeah," Xander chuckled, thinking of the incessant way Missouri had been harassing Dean since the moment they'd arrived. "Hey, I'm sorry if I'm causing problems between you two."
"Don't worry about it," Sam said, glancing over at him before shaking his head. "Dean and I…we manage to get into our fair share of arguments all on our own. This is nothing new, it's just kind of the way things work."
They fell quiet again and walked on a little further before Sam turned to Xander, a grin quirking his lips, "Is there really a mustard museum in Wisconsin?"
"Oh, you betchya." Xander returned the grin. "I've also made it my personal goal to get a picture of every Muffler Man in the United States."
Sam laughed, "Sounds like you're going to have a busy summer. Where all have you been so far?"
"Well, there was Las Vegas which, by the way, was not as cool as it sounds," Xander told him.
"Dean would be sorry to hear he missed that stop. He likes to think he's a hot-shot hustler," Sam shared conspiratorially.
"Yeah, well, apparently all those all-you-can-eat buffets you hear about in Las Vegas are all-you-can-eat only because they've already made you pay an arm and a leg to get in the door," Xander complained. "I decided to skip the Grand Canyon, not because I have a fear of heights so much as a fear of falling from them. Then there was Roswell."
"See any aliens?" Sam asking jokingly.
"No, but man do they love their Tabasco sauce." Xander and Sam finally reached the post office and scanned through the rows of boxes in search of Missouri's number. "And those Texans, can I just say they are very proud of their state."
They found Missouri's box, and Xander pulled the key out and opened it, pulling out a couple envelopes and a copy of the Lawrence daily newspaper. "Hey, you think there's a Psychic's Weekly or a Fortune Teller's Journal out there that Missouri can get a subscription to?"
"You know," Sam said, furrowing his brow in thought, "it's never really occurred to me before."
"Maybe there's a union even," Xander postulated. "Though I can't imagine what those meetings would be like. I foresee that we shall go on strike next week, and because I sense a storm coming, well shall adjourn today's meeting early."
Sam laughed, "It'd be interesting to see." They made their way out of the post office and began heading back toward Missouri's house. "So, I guess you must be missing your friends."
"Yeah, it's weird," Xander said.
"How so?" Sam asked, turning to look at him.
"Well, I've wanted to get away for so long – not from my friends, of course, they're great – but Sunnydale isn't at the top of the greatest-places-on-Earth list. Still, part of me wishes I were already back there. I keep wondering what they must be doing right now." Xander could picture them having fun at the Bronze, or sitting around researching the latest creature-feature (though not at the library anymore). He found himself feeling extremely homesick. Even for the researching and Giles's long-winded, off-topic, demon trivia.
"I've been keeping in touch with Willow from the road though. She keeps me updated on what's going on with Giles and Buffy."
"Buffy?" Sam questioned, quirking an eyebrow at the strange name.
Xander smiled, "Yep, and it's not just a nickname. Buffy, Willow, and I all hung out together in the library throughout high school. That's kind of how we met Giles, he was the librarian. He kind of became our den mother, except in the British-guy sense of the word. Though I don't know what he'll do now that the school's blown-up."
"Blown-up?" Sam asked, shocked, as though he might have heard him incorrectly.
"Yeah…" Xander drawled, realizing he'd let slip something he hadn't really meant to say and wracked his brain trying to remember the story that had run in the papers. "There was a leak in the gas main, took the whole school down on graduation day."
"Jesus," Sam said in shock.
"Yeah, and my diploma was apparently a casualty. So much for proof that I actually survived high school."
"It's just a good thing you made it out okay," Sam commented.
"Yeah…not everyone was so lucky." Xander looked to the ground, thinking of all the people who hadn't managed to live through the experience that was high school. "Maybe Giles will get a job at the local museum now that the library is obliterated. I think that's what he did before he moved to Sunnydale."
"So, do you have any guy friends closer to your age?" Sam asked.
"Well, there's Oz. He's Willow's boyfriend," Xander explained. "He's more the man-of-few-words type." Not to mention they hadn't exactly been bosom buddies since the disaster with Spike in that old warehouse. There wasn't really any lingering resentment over it, but it had to be difficult to be buddy-buddy with a guy who'd made out with your girlfriend.
"Then there was Jesse, he was a good friend of mine, but, uh…" Xander faltered a bit, remembering more painful memories that he rarely thought about anymore. "He, uh, died not long after Buffy moved to Sunnydale."
"I'm sorry, man," Sam commiserated.
Xander nodded, then steered the conversation toward Sam, "What about you? You miss your friends?"
"Yeah, I do. Mostly, I miss the way things were back then. Things seemed simpler." Sam appeared lost in thought.
"So then why did you leave Stanford?" Xander asked. Sam glance briefly at him before glancing away and shoving his hands in his pockets. Xander thought maybe he'd touched on something too personal, so he added, "I mean, if you don't mind my asking."
"There, uh," Sam's voice caught and he cleared his throat before starting again. "There was a fire, and my girlfriend, Jess…she died."
Xander wanted to slap himself. He hadn't meant to bring up something so painful. Sam continued before Xander could apologize, "After that, I just…couldn't stick around. I left with Dean, and we've been doing this ever since."
They walked on in silence, and finally Xander could just make out Missouri's house down the street. He looked to Sam, trying to gauge the older man's mood. Missouri had said that John had been with the two brothers when they'd come to Lawrence last time, and he couldn't help but notice the man's conspicuous absence. The question of his whereabouts had been burning on the tip of Xander's tongue since they'd arrived, but there'd never been a good time to ask. Xander chewed his lip nervously for a moment, then finally decided to just bite the bullet.
"So, why didn't your dad come with you this time?" Xander asked, using your because he didn't yet feel he had enough of a claim to call John Winchester his father.
"The truth is," Sam started, "we're not even sure where Dad-" Sam cut off abruptly, turning to look at him with an expression Xander couldn't quite place. "What do you mean this time?" he asked with a burning intensity.
Xander shrugged, "Well, Missouri said you all three came through here a while back." They had reached the gate to Missouri's yard by now.
"Are you sure she didn't mean just me and Dean?" Sam asked, his eyes still pinning Xander with a fierce look.
Xander thought back, but he distinctly remembered Missouri saying John and the boys, and since John was whom Xander had been looking for, Xander wasn't likely to forget such a detail. "Yeah, I'm sure. She said it was you guys and John."
Something in Sam's face hardened then, and he took off toward the house at an angry pace without offering any explanation.
Xander hurried worriedly after him with the feeling that he'd just said something very wrong, though for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why.
