Place of the Lost

A/N: This story is turning out to be much longer than I expected. I thought I'd be to the meat of the story by chapter 7, but we're just getting started. This one is a little intense; our Edward has it rough. Thanks for the reviews!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all of its Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 7: The Revelation

EPOV

My eyes slowly opened; my vision was sharp and clear. It was as if I had been looking through a foggy veil for my entire life, and it wasn't until that moment that I was really able to see. The room looked different through these new eyes. I could distinguish every rocky grain in the gray concrete wall. The cluttered shelves were no longer overwhelming. I could read the tiniest print on every label, detect every subtle difference in the color of the faded rags. I noticed each miniscule speck of dust on the wooden shelves.

Then I breathed in for the first time. My sense of smell was much sharper than I remembered. The room no longer smelled of just mothballs and bleach but it smelled of mothballs, bleach, mildew, rust, ammonia, disinfectant, cotton balls, alcohol… I could go on forever. Every scent was distinct but also part of the whole.

I finally felt better with one excruciating exception my throat still burned with the fire that had engulfed me last night. But my body was strong again, even more powerful than it was before the flu. My legs felt like I could run for miles and never get tired. My arms were ready to climb mountains. My thoughts were crystal clear. A million things raced through my mind at once and I could interpret them all in perfect clarity.

It was amazing, I felt so relieved. For the first time in days, optimism didn't seem foolish. I didn't know how he did it, but Dr. Cullen was a miracle worker. I had to thank him. I sat up on the gurney and looked around. He was standing behind me in the doorway, slightly leaning against the frame. His blonde hair was slicked back, and his pale skin sparkled in a way that I had never noticed before. His eyes were a deep gold, not black like I had remembered.

I looked at him, studying his expression when the strangest thing happened to me. It was if I could read his thoughts. They weren't clear like my own, I couldn't put them into exact words. I just knew that he was worried. "What's wrong, Dr. Cullen?"

"Edward, we have a lot to talk about." His worry turned to apprehension.

"Why don't we start by you telling me what you remember, and I'll explain what happened to you?"

"That's fine, but first I have to thank you. I feel amazing, I think the influenza is nearly gone. My body is so strong, only my throat is still sore."

He still wasn't pleased, just nervous. His quiet voice was slightly shaky as he spoke. "I'm glad you feel better Edward, but please tell me what you remember."

I sighed and began to recollect the evening. "My memories from last night are a little hazy, but I'll try." He nodded and I continued. "I was feeling very bad yesterday evening. I was too weak to talk or move. You and Alice took me out of the bed and she pushed my gurney down here, to the basement."

"We're sorry about putting you down here. It's not exactly the best accommodations." His thoughts indicated that he was sincere. He motioned with his hand for me to continue.

"After we got to the basement, you gave me a sedative. I slept, but I don't know how long. The next thing I remember, is hearing you and Alice arguing."

"What happened next Edward?" His voice was tense and louder than before.

Then the memory came flooding back to me. I was confused and a little frightened. "You bit me." I expected him to refute my memory, to tell me the influenza had made me delusional.

He just nodded, "Please continue."

My voice was grave as I prepared myself to describe the inferno. "Then my body felt like I was on fire…internally. I thought I was going to die; the pain was excruciating. The flames spread over my entire body. I blacked out for a while. I couldn't hear, see or feel anything. Everything was dark."

He starred at my face intently, "And how do you feel now?" he inquired.

I smiled at him and spoke in a grateful tone. "I feel exuberant; my senses are sharp. Everything but my throat feels amazing."

"What do you think made you feel this way Edward?" He was still racked with worry but this whole conversation was beginning to get on my nerves. His thoughts revealed that he had volumes to divulge to me and he was dancing around the subject.

"You bit me," I replied.

"Do I seem normal to you?" He asked fearfully. I sighed internally, more questions! Shouldn't he be giving the answers? I just nodded my head yes in his direction. His thoughts told me that this was the wrong answer.

"I'm not normal, Edward." He hung his head and clenched his fists.

"What do you mean?" My tone was forceful. His evasiveness was so frustrating, I just wanted an explanation.

"I don't know exactly how to say this." He avoided looking into my eyes.

"Spit it out Carlisle!" My voice was thunderous and angry. I hated to be rude to him but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Very well then." He sighed deeply and just blurted it out, "Edward, I'm a vampire."

I snorted loudly and chuckled, "Well, isn't it a small world? I've got a friend who's a werewolf." The smile slowly faded from my features, as his thoughts indicated that he was serious. Words wouldn't come. Suddenly everything clicked. His ghostly pale skin, his strangely colored eyes, his bone chillingly cold hands, it all made sense. "Alice?" He understood my short question.

"Yes Alice is too. She is my adopted daughter. But do you understand what this means, Edward? I bit you." His pale face was creased with worry.

My sharp mind quickly put the pieces together, "I'm a vampire too?" His thoughts confirmed my conclusion but it was too impossible to believe. "Dr. Cullen, vampires aren't real."

"Edward, how else do you explain what happened to you?"

I tried but even my sharp mind couldn't answer his mystifying question. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Your life is going to be very different from now on. I have a great deal to tell you." His expression was grave, like he was still waiting to drop a bomb on me, as if telling me he was a vampire wasn't enough. "Have you ever read about our kind?" I nodded, Dracula was one of my favorite books. "Many of things you've read are myths but they are grounded in truth. Could you tell me some of the things you know?"

I nodded at him again. If it wasn't for the newfound quickness of my mind, I would have probably been on the floor, passed out from shock. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Vampires sleep during the day in coffins."

"Myth." He replied quickly. "We never sleep and I don't own any coffins."

"Never sleep?" I couldn't imagine never resting. "You must be tired all the time."

"No, we don't need it." he spoke softly and his thoughts revealed that he was still telling the truth. "What else have you heard?"

"You'll die if you go out into the sunlight."

"Myth, we can go out into the sunlight all we like. However, our skin is noticeably different when it is illuminated by the sun. It glistens in a way that no human skin ever could. So you see, the sunlight doesn't harm us physically. We just must avoid it in order to conceal our identity."

I nodded and recalled the conversation I had had with Dr. Yorkie. I suddenly understood why they covered their faces outside, but not in the influenza ward. It was all adding up, but he still hadn't explained the details that caused him so much worry. "How old do I look, Edward?"

I scratched my head and contemplated his question. After studying his features for a brief moment I deduced that he couldn't be more than twenty-five. "Twenty-five?" I asked.

He gave me a stern look, his eyes were full of intensity. "Edward, I'm nearly three-hundred years old." I didn't want to believe it, but he was telling the truth.

"Do you age very slowly then?" I pleaded, desperately needing answers.

He hung his head, "We don't age at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward I'm not being ambiguous about this. We don't get any older." His eyes were longing for me to understand.

"Do you never die then?" I couldn't bring myself to use the collective we. I wasn't truly ready to accept what he was saying.

His voice was low and quiet. "We can die."

"Wooden stake through the heart?" I asked.

Finally he chuckled relieving some of the anxiety between us. "We can only be killed by our own kind. Guns, knives, drowning, jumping off buildings, old age, none of those things have any effect on us. What else have you read?" The intensity of the situation was back and it was heavier than before.

I knew one more thing about vampires. This was the only thing I truly wanted to be a myth. I could live with no sunlight. I could even handle sleeping in a coffin but there was one thing I couldn't do… blood.

"Vampires drink blood." I said in a quiet tone. My ears waited to hear the word myth, but he didn't utter the quick reply that came after my previous inquiries.

His expression was serious. "I'm afraid that's true Edward." My stomach suddenly turned over and tied itself into a thousand anxious knots. I expected my heart to pound faster, but I felt nothing. I placed my hand over my chest…silence. It was just further confirmation that this wasn't some sort of terrible nightmare.

He reached out and took my hand, it wasn't cold like I remembered. Then I caught a glimpse of my skin. It was the same pale white color as his. Oh God, this was real.

"It's okay, you don't have to drink human blood, I don't. That burning sensation you feel in your throat is thirst. You'll crave human blood, especially now. When you come into contact with a person, you'll have an overwhelming desire for it. You'll be able to smell it, see it pulsating through their veins. But you can't give in to your desires. Instead, you must learn to survive on the blood of animals. It isn't as satisfying as human blood, but it will keep you strong." His voice was calm but his thoughts indicated that he was fearful of my reaction.

I just starred at him, wide-eyed and utterly perplexed. We sat in silence for a long moment. Then it hit me, "How the hell am I going to explain this to Bella?"

He dropped his eyes to the floor and his face grew worried again. "You can't tell her about this."

I tried to reason with him. "But Dr. Cullen, she'll know something is different about me. I can't hide this pale skin. I can't not see her in the sunlight."

His expression was grave, "Edward it's not about that. You can't be around her at all. You could hurt her, you'll crave her blood. You aren't strong yet, it's very difficult for new vampires to control their urges. Not to mention the fact that she'll age and you won't. The relationship can't work anymore. You're too different now. I'm truly sorry about that." He was sincere but I didn't care.

I was so angry at him for even insinuating that I could hurt Bella. I loved her more than anything in the world and since I hadn't heard from my father in days, I assumed she was all I had left. I wanted to cry but tears wouldn't come. Since I couldn't express my grief my emotions boiled over into anger.

I screamed at him "How could you do this to me? My mother and my father are dead, and you take away the one reason I have for living."

"Edward, I'm sorry I know you've lost so much this week. The pain must be tremendous, but I promise it will get better with time. I promised your mother that I would do everything in my power to insure your survival. You were dying, this was the last resort." His response was genuine and heartfelt, but it didn't calm my anger.

I scoffed at him. "What's the purpose of living if you can't be with the people you love? Life for it's own sake is meaningless. And you've given me an eternity to contemplate that. You've taken everything from me! My parents are dead, and I can't be with Bella. I had a future you know. I was going into the military and when I got back I was going to propose to her. We were going to be happy and grow old together."

He pleaded with me, "Edward I didn't take your parents from you. I didn't take Bella from you. You were going to die, you had only hours to live when I bit you. I'm sorry Edward, but you had no future."

I knew he was right, but I didn't care. I was boiling with anger. I got up off the gurney and screamed into his face, "And now I'll get to think of that everyday, for the rest of eternity."

His tone was calm; he refused to return my anger. "You don't have to be alone. You're welcome to live with Alice and I. You're one of us now, and we consider you part of the family. I know this is overwhelming at the moment, but we're here for you. Alice is home now, preparing a room for you."

His kindness only enraged me further, "Who the hell do you think you are? You're going to sentence me to an eternity of misery and then expect me to call you daddy."

He sighed deeply, "I don't expect anything from you Edward. I just know that this phase of our existence is the most difficult, and I am willing to help you through it."

I was seething, my fists were clinched and my body was shaking with fury. "You're wrong!"

"About what?" he replied.

"I would never hurt Bella. You don't even know me, how could you assume something like that."

His expression was intense. "As a human, I'm sure you would never hurt her, and you're right. I don't know you very well, but I do know a great deal about our kind. New vampires are unstable, inexperienced. The desire for blood is stronger than you could ever imagine. You'll feel it the second you leave this room. You'll smell it, and your throat will burn with a fire a thousand times hotter than you felt last night."

I turned and looked at the dreadful room around me. I clinched my fist and punched directly into the concrete wall. The stone cracked under my incredible force. I opened my palm and slapped my hand across the shelves. All the bottles, rags, and files came crashing to the ground. Various liquids spilled all over the floor. Glass broke, papers flew everywhere, and he just stood there. I was enraged by his unwillingness to react. So I tore the shelf off the wall and threw the long piece of dusty wood in his direction. He quickly moved to the side and the wood hit the concrete wall behind the doorway with a crash. The large piece of lumber broke into a thousand tiny splinters. I picked up the gurney and bent the metal bars into a U shape before throwing it against the wall. The metal thundered against the concrete.

After I had destroyed the entire little room, I just stood there in silence, nothing left to demolish. I stared at him and my anger turned to sadness again. I wanted so badly to cry. I desperately needed an emotional release. But my new eyes didn't make tears. So, I just fell to my knees, placing my head on the group and beating my fists on the floor. The concrete crumbled under every pound of my fist. I must have looked like a spoiled child having a tantrum, but I didn't know what else to do. Everything about this new life was so incredibly frustrating.

I looked up at the doctor. He was just waiting on me, patiently. I sighed and took a deep breath. It was then that I realized I hadn't been breathing through my entire enraged episode. No heartbeat… no need to breathe.. I wasn't even human. His worried thoughts turned to compassion, and he began to slowly walk across the floor, closing the distance between us. He placed his hand on my arm and pulled me to my feet.

He whispered calmly in my ear, "It's going to be okay Edward." He wrapped his arms around me in a fatherly embrace. I couldn't fight his kindness anymore, and I truly did need him. I hugged the doctor and he continued to reassure me. "You'll always have a place with Alice and I." Honestly, that didn't mean much to me at this point, but it offered the tiniest glimmer of hope in this otherwise miserable existence that now lay before me.

There was a lot that I still disagreed with him about. I would never believe that I could hurt Bella and I would always be bitter about the things I lost. There are some wounds that not even time could heal. "I still know that I could never hurt Bella."

"Edward, you'll understand what I'm talking about soon enough. It's more difficult than I could ever describe."

"I'm going to prove you wrong." I whispered calmly.

He sighed, "I hope you do."

A/N: Poor Edward, so much to deal with, but he's strong. Wow, I have such a long way to go before this one is over, but I can't worry about that now. I've got cupcakes to bake lol. I hope you enjoyed! Please Review! I'd love to hear what you think and feel free to make suggestions.