Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or this very sad song by Leona Lewis called Alive.


I breathe, I hear but I don't believe it

My heart it beats but inside I'm freezing

My hands they shake, they've lost all their feeling

No air to take.

You say that you're leaving

And there's no turning back this time

Gotta stay alive

Mercedes threw the door shut behind her once she entered her house. She leaned against a nearby hall wall trying to catch her breath as she held her hands to her chest trying to stop the suffocating sobs threatening to burst free. She looked up to see her mother at the end of the stairs staring at her with sad eyes. Warm tears sprayed from her eyes a she ran into her mother's embrace. She broke down falling to the ground as painful whimpers left her dry lips and life left her body. All she could feel was sorrow pumping through her veins to every part of her body as she shakily fisted her mother's shirt begging God to take away the indescribable hurt in her crumbling heart.

Her mother rocked her back and forth whispering that she would be okay, telling her that she was strong and that he had to leave but her heart did not care for logic- it only wanted Sam. No encouraging words were going to take away the bone-chilling grief crushing her heart in its hold or the suffocating silent cries of pain stealing her breath from her.

Where do I go when I'm all alone?

Where do I turn when we were so close?

We try not to crash but we still collide

To the ground

I'll survive

I'm alive


The second day after his departure was no better than the first. That morning the sun shone and birds sang outside her windowpane- a contrast to the cold emotions brewing inside her and the dark sorrow engulfing her in its hold. She turned on her side and opened her eyes to see the photo of her and Sam on her desk taunting her with its happiness and memories. She closed her eyes burying face her into her wet pillow trying to force all the memories of Sam far away to no avail. She missed his green eyes looking at her like she was all he saw. She missed how he walked with his hands in his pockets. She missed how he used to interrupt her with kisses. She missed his soft skin brushing against hers. She missed how soft his kisses tasted. Oh she missed him so much.

She curled into herself clutching the stuffed tiger to her chest as silent sobs shook her body. She could feel her heart beating in her chest crying in agony yet she felt dead inside...hollow...lost.

I'm stripped, I'm bare.

I'm left here with nothing

I hold the wheel

Don't know where I'm going

Your face, I see, in every reflection

No time, no space

I've lost all direction

And there's no turning back this time

Gotta stay alive

Sam came swooping in like a wrecking ball crashing through her walls...and then he left. He left her alone and naked in the destruction of a broken heart. He left his kiss like a bruise on her lips. His fingertips tattooed on every inch of her skin. She was bare- exposed to cold pain around He left her with a heartbreaking chill running through her bones and with memories painfully beautiful scattered on the pieces of her broken heart.

She had no idea how to take away this numbing crippling pain coursing through her veins. She had no idea what to do or where to go to escape his memory haunting her existence.

She saw and felt nothing but darkness surrounding her with no light in sight. She had no idea how she would survive when everything inside her was slowly dying with each breath she took. She had no idea how to stop her hands from reaching for him. She had no idea how to stop her broken heart from yearning for him.

She gathered the little strength she had to get out of bed and walk towards their framed picture staring at her with the happiness she lost when she drove out of that parking lot. She picked it up examining his beautiful mischievous shinning eyes. She swept her hand over the glass wiping away her fallen tears. She pressed it against her chest taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes...

I'm gonna get there someway

Through all the tears and the rain

And any road I can take

Just to get me some place.

Where all the scars on my heart

And all the cries in the dark

Disappear in my headlights

So bright, tonight

Gonna drive them away

She lifted the picture to her lips before putting it face down on the table. She would survive...she had to. She had no idea how but she would survive this. She would find healing and she would find the sun again- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday. She might be broken but she could be fixed. She just had to start moving forward and crawl through the rubble until she could walk again.

She was still breathing- she was still alive and she would find peace again for her withering heart floating through her dark hollow soul searching for its home.

Where do I go when I'm all alone?

Where do I turn when we were so close?

We try not to crash but we still collide

To the ground

I'll survive

I'm alive…

I'm alive…


And, what do we think?