A/N: I don't own Glee! Thank you all so much for your encouraging reviews, alerts, and favorites.
Chapter 6: Dreams Revisited
The five hour flight was long making for a tired, caffeine starved group of McKinley High alumni. The group of tired 20'somethings and their children touched down in Toledo in the early hours of the morning. They piled into six waiting vehicles glad to avoid the press Mercedes attracted wherever she went. The tired woman stretched out in the back of the warm SUV, Sam opted to ride with her so she wouldn't be alone. She rested her head on his against the window yawning as she fell back asleep. He looked over to her trying not to disturb her.
The two hour drive was quiet. Sam looked that the changing scenery. He hadn't been back to Ohio in over ten years. He took in the sights in the two hour ride. The larger cities changed, new sky scrapers marring the horizon. As they approached the Lima city limits Sam smiled. This is where everything began. He broke out into a grin when the car passed the Lima Bean. He looked to a sleeping Mercedes again who shifted in her sleep, moving closer to his body.
"Driver can you stop the car, please?" He asked pulling out his tablet and sending a quick message to the group. They were going to have breakfast, it was already 10am and the day should have begun. The café was open. He shook Mercedes awake gently knowing from experience that jarring her awake would only end up in missing limbs. He whispered in her ear to wake up, they were some place special. She looked up at him groggily. Her face telling him he better have a good reason for waking her.
"We're at the Lima Bean." He said with a half smile. "I know you still don't eat black and white cookies and drink those awful coffee drinks anymore?" He said, his face wrinkling.
"Yeah, Sam, and my name isn't Mercedes Jones either." She said pushing him out of the back of the car. "Dufus." He heard her say as she slipped out of the car putting her gloves on. The large group, including wide awake children piled into the full café. Sam was shocked to see no one approaching; people looked over their morning papers and went back to reading.
Lima was kind to Mercedes making sure she felt at home when she came to visit. Only a few fans stopped to ask for photos and autographs as the group sat eating their pastries and drinking the coffee that used to fuel them before class. Sam knew she was grateful to have privacy here.
"So, where are we staying?" Sam asked looking around the table. He expected everyone to be together for the week.
"We have an apartment here, Guppy." Santana said looking to Brittany who nodded. "We used to stay with M.J. until we had the second monster." Santana lovingly rubbed her son's head who stuck his tongue out at his mother. "I not a monster, mommy says I'm a unicorn" the tiny boy said.
"Unicorn my rear, you're Satan!" Santana said smiling and patting his head.
"We live in Burt and Carole's old house. We purchased it after it went up for sale a second time. So many memories in that house, we couldn't stand to see it go to anyone else." Rachel said, looking down at the tiny versions of her and Finn who sat coloring and humming while eating vegan friendly pastries. She rested her head on top of the newest addition, planting small kisses on her bald head. They'd named her Sophie, and Sam could hear her gentle breathing as the baby slept.
"Kurt and I live in the first house Carole and his father owned. The very house he grew up in." Blaine said smiling wide and proud as he looked down at Henry and Liza who colored excitedly. "We too couldn't see his memories to go any other home owner."
"We have an apartment in the same building with Santana and Brittany. It's an awesome rehabbed building. It used to be the textile mill on the other side of town. Now its all shops and the upper half are huge apartments. You should come and take a look, you'd love it." Tina finished as she broke a piece of her cookie off and put it in her mouth. Over the months Tina had warmed up to Sam, even apologizing for assaulting him when he arrived.
"Vanilla Momma and I have a place on the other side of town." Puck said making kissy faces at Zizes who only rolled her eyes,
"Puckerman if I didn't love you so much I'd have you beaten daily." Lauren said sipping on her drink, causing the group to laugh. The insult encouraged Noah's actions until Lauren kissed him gently.
"Artie and I usually stay with Mercy. I guess we'll have to start looking for our own place while we're here. Its tradition in this group, once we get married we buy a place in Lima." Quinn said taking Arties hand.
"I have just the place in mind." He said squeezing her hand and leaning his head on her shoulder as he looked at her with big comical doe eyes causing the group to laugh and shake their heads.
"We were ever that sappy and pathetic?" Finn said, wrinkling his nose at the newly engaged couple.
"Worse." Everyone answered in unison.
"Can you blame me, look at this face. She's just so cute!" Artie said squeezing Quinn's cheeks causing her to make a fish face.
"Artie, if I didn't love this ring you put on my finger I'd have you committed." Quinn said rolling her eyes.
"Woman, you love the way I woo you. Can it." Artie said smiling at her; Quinn kissed him instead of saying yes.
"You and Rachel were unbearable in high school, Knuckle Dragger." Santana said rolling her eyes at the couple. This caused the chuckle that circulated around the table to become full belly laughter. Santana rolled her eyes and went back to her croissant.
"Santana, please don't call Finn names in front of the kids. Last time you called him Finnocence it took six months for the kids to realize that it was impolite." Rachel scolded.
"I'm really sorry H-O-B-B-I-T I can't help but egg you and your husband on. You know I only do it in love. If I didn't pick on you and Frankenteen over there you would think something was wrong with me." Santana said, showing her devilish grin. Sam sat and watched the easy camaraderie that only years of working together and forgiveness could create. He sighed as he wished for the same affection from the group one day. He looked to Mercedes quickly before jumping back into the conversation.
"So I guess I should look around for a hotel, does anyone have any ideas?" He asked making conversation.
"You can stay with me. Or you can stay at the Lima Inn." Mercedes said matter of factly before standing up. Sam noticed something in her eyes; it looked like a mixture of fear and anger. "Is everyone ready to go? I'd like to get to our respective places and rest." Mercy said stretching. It wasn't a command, only a request. Sam noticed over the months that Mercedes never ordered anyone around. "Does everyone want to meet at my house around 8pm for dinner?
"Oh snap, Chocolate Mama is cooking?" Puck said the look on his face was like Christmas day.
"Boy, you know I always cook when we're in Lima." Mercedes said rolling her eyes as she walked out of the café, and waited for the driver to open the door. Sam stood beside her looking down at her for a moment before climbing into the waiting vehicle. Once they were in the safety and privacy of the car Sam looked at Mercedes.
"That was a real blast from the past, huh?" He asked making sure not to move to close to her. He didn't want to invade her space.
"Yeah" She said flatly giving Sam a sideways glance.
"Yeah, I remember the first time we went in there as a couple. I wanted to shout to everyone that you were my girlfriend. I was so proud to have you." He said his voice low. The sound of pride and a little longing in his voice was unmistakable.
"You were?" Mercy said, furrowing her brow. She shifted in her seat, Sam knew she was uncomfortable. "Well you definitely had a way of showing it. Remember when I when I found you with your dick in some girls' mouth. That was a really great memory." Mercy said bitterly. The low blow came from nowhere. "Sam, you've won everyone over. I've even been stupid enough to think about you. But I have no desire to skip down memory lane with you. I look at you and on the outside I see Sam Evans the boy I fell in love with. On the inside you're Sam Evans man whoring playboy. I didn't make memories with this Sam."
"I'm a whore? You can't sit here and tell me oh Diva that you haven't had a few romps in the sack of your own. You are so self righteous." Sam said his eyes narrowing. He felt like he did the first day he saw her all over again. He was no ones punching bag. This attack was completely unlike her. Something bigger was bothering her.
"I'm self righteous? No I'm right you whorish son of a bitch! I don't need empty sex to define me. I'm better than that." Mercedes all but yelled.
"You keep telling yourself that princess. Whatever helps you sleep in that big white bed alone. You're probably afraid to ruin the sheets. Where the hell is this coming from anyway? Just yesterday you and I were watching movies and laughing. Now you're using me as your personal punching bag."
"What's bothering me? What's bothering me is I'm sitting next to the ex who cheated on me and preparing to see another ex who cheated on me repeatedly. I feel like I'm taking comfort in the lesser of two evils." The mask of indifference was nothing compared to the wall that was put up.
"So you're afraid of me. Are you going to push me away every time you feel yourself getting close me? Are you going to make me paying for my sins? Are you going to punish me every time you need to feel better? I won't be your punching bag just to be in your life, Mercedes. I won't walk on eggshells just to appease you. I'm not going to visibly beat myself up every day. I do enough of that in private." He said determined to not back down. Mercedes nodded her head and turned to face the window. Sam's heart dropped into his toes. He felt like he was losing her all over again.
He didn't realize how long they'd been driving until he saw the house they stopped in front of. It was in the "fancy" area of Lima where people like Quinn's mother lived. He recognized the large stone ranch house instantly. It was the house Mercy loved when they were kids. Every time they drove past this house she talked about what her life would be like when she lived in it. Sometimes those dreams included him. He got out of the car after her, stopping beside her for a moment.
Mercedes looked to Sam her face a mask of indifference. "This town reminds me of the happiest time in my life. Don't fuck it up for me by being your whore mongering self. There's a Bed and Breakfast in downtown Lima. I suggest you make a reservation there tonight. Fly back to Texas tomorrow. I don't want to see you again. I don't need you anymore. I'll have Quinn put your check in the mail." He watched her walk away. Her ability to detach herself didn't shock him, someone who's been hurt as much as she had developed those defenses. She disappeared behind the large double door. Sam watched Artie and Quinn exit the car. Quinn stopped beside him as Artie rolled into the house screaming something about the king arriving at his one story castle.
"Mercy told me about this house and what it meant to her when we were teenagers." Quinn said looking to Sam. "I told her she'd be an idiot if she didn't buy it. She's going to raise her babies in this house one day. I see the way you look at her Sam and I can tell you want those children to be yours. You blow your chances with Mercy with every woman you fuck Sam. You're reminding her of why she spent years despising you." Quinn walked away and Sam turned to leave.
The guilt and shame he felt wouldn't let him cross the thresh hold. Sam checked himself into the nearest hotel and picked up the phone. He dialed the number from memory. He expected to hear the airline pick up, but his fingers wouldn't dial the number.
It was 6:30pm before he found the courage to go back to her house. He took a deep breath before he knocked on the door. Mercedes was the one to answer the door. The smile that she wore faded as soon as she saw his face.
"What do you want, Evans? I thought I told you to turn tail and go back to Texas." She said.
"I came to apologize." Sam said looking down and shuffling his feet.
"For what? Cheating on me, calling me frigid, or that half ass monologue in the car?" Mercy said making no move to let him in.
"What if I said all of it?" Sam said too ashamed to meet his eyes.
"I'd say that buys you two minutes on this stoop to plead your case." Mercy said cocking one eyebrow.
"I'm sorry Mercedes." Sam said as he lowered his head. He heard the creek of the door opening wider letting Sam in.
"My mother raised me to be forgiving but she didn't raise me to be a fool. Come in Sam, you're welcome to stay for dinner then after that get out." Sam could see the steel in her eyes but he took what he could get. Mercedes left him at the door and disappeared.
He wandered into the kitchen and saw Mercedes standing over the sink with the potato peeler her hair piled messily atop her head.
"Can I help you with anything?" Sam asked after taking a moment to watch her. Mercy held her hand up stopping him in his tracks.
"Sam, get out of my kitchen. Just because I said you could stay for dinner doesn't mean I want to talk to you. I'm contractually obligated to feed you." She said her voice laced with venom.
"Can I at least know what's on the menu?" He said backing away slowly. She still didn't face him.
"Mashed potatoes, creamed peas, fried squash, yams, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, ham, meat loaf, biscuits, white gravy, brown gravy, and corn bread." She said rattling off the menu never turning to face him. He tried not to smile, he loved country cooking and hers was the best. "Please send Quinn in here." Sam walked out of the kitchen.
He finally found the happy couple; Artie was sitting on the couch with Quinn between his legs. He almost hated to break up the happy couple but they would live. "Quinn, Mercedes wants you in the kitchen." Sam said weakly. Quinn rolled her eyes and got up after kissing Artie, who slapped her ass hard enough to make her jump. "Go cook my dinner woman!" Artie called behind her, cackling and lifting his legs from the couch to make room for him. Sam sat down by Artie, his hands in his lap.
"So how's it going man?" Sam asked looking at the television.
"Don't play nice with me. You keep hurting Mercy. She wouldn't say anything when she came in she just went right into the kitchen. I know her well and the level of cooking she's doing she's pissed."
"Artie this is between Mercedes and me." Sam said getting ready to get up. The hand on his arm made him stop.
"No, Sam it's between all of us. Mercedes is my friend. You keep fucking up, hurting her and I've been nice so far. She means a lot to me. If you so much as make her wince I will unleash hell on you." Artie's voice was serious. Sam believed every word.
Dinner wasn't a formal affair. After Sam took over the making of the sweet tea saying Yankees should never be allowed to make such a sacred beverage and receiving a slap on the back of the head with a large metal spoon by one very angry Santana things went smoothly. The group of old friends sat around the large table trading stories from their high school days. The laughter heard bordering on hysterical. They caught their breaths only moments before someone said something else to throw them over the edge.
"Oh my God, do you remember Rocky Horror and those awful gold shorts." Santana exclaimed. "I thought Sam was going to pee himself when he saw those shorts."
"I almost did man, gold lame still gives me the willies." Sam said taking a sip of his drink.
"I saw pictures from that little shit show. I wished I hadn't been locked up so I could see chocolate mama in that vinyl BDSM outfit." Noah blurted out.
"Man, it was hot. There was no denying it. Mercy looked to die for. But the hottest was that little sailor outfit for the Candy Man number!" Finn said his cheeks turning red. It was no secret that at some point all of the Glee men carried a flame for Mercedes Jones.
"Preach." Artie said looking to Quinn who only shook her head.
"Remember when Santana almost beat Rachel's ass for the little stunt y'all pulled at regionals?" Everyone started to laugh uncontrollably even Finn and Rachel. "Lima Heights adjacent!" Artie started to repeat causing the group to dissolve into another fit of laughter.
"Remember when Lauren beat Santana's ass in the hall?" Finn said "I'd never seen someone throw another human around like a rag doll! It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen." Finn said looking to the girls.
"Sorry about that, Satan." Lauren said smiling to Santana. Over the years the women became friends.
"No need to apologize. I had it coming; I was a bit of a bitch back then." Santana said wearing her signature smirk.
"Still are." The group said at the same time. The group once again dissolving into fits of laughter.
The group dissolved for the evening promising to see each other the next day for the ribbon cutting at their Alma Matter. Sam found Mercedes by the pool with a glass of wine. She was wrapped in a thick blanket to keep warm; he stood out of sight watching her. Even after ten years of only seeing her face on television, and from far away nothing compared with seeing her in person. She'd barely aged in ten years, her skin was still smooth like chocolate mousse and her almond shaped eyes managed to sparkle after everything she'd been through. He could see the tips of her small feet poking out from under the blanket, he smiled remembering the summer they spent at the lake and tickling those cute little feet while she squealed and kicked him away. He opened the sliding glass door and walked out, sitting on the end of her cushioned lounge chair.
"You know I remember the first time I heard you sing."
"Sam, didn't I tell you to leave after dinner? Don't you have a plane to catch?" Mercedes said, taking a sip of her drink.
"I'm not leaving Mercedes." Sam said, sitting next to her.
"Why the hell not, it was easy for you to do all three times." Mercedes said unwilling to meet his eyes.
"You think leaving you was easy? Leave you was the hardest thing I've ever done besides losing my father. I never wanted to leave you!"
"Whatever Sam, say what you were going to say and leave me alone." Mercy said still not meeting his eyes.
"It was my first day at McKinley and I was lost. I wandered into the auditorium and I heard this powerful voice coming out of this tiny person. You were singing that song from that movie you always made me watch, the one you love so much, I forgot the name…" He said trailing off.
"And I Am Telling You, it's from Dream Girls." She whispered.
"Yeah, that's it. I saw you on that stage just so lost in the music. I just stood there listening to you sing. You were so beautiful." He finished. "Listen Mercedes, I hurt you I hurt the most beautiful person I've ever known. I did something to you that most people never forgive. I said I'd never cheat. I've been cheated on and I said I'd never do that to another person. I never wanted to do that to you, to anyone. My moral compass broke. I'm so sorry that I broke your trust, that I broke us. After you walked out of my life something in me died. I turned into someone I hated. I started hurting people to feel better. I used women like disposable napkins, tossing them away when I was finished all to fill some kind of void. You were the best parts of me. There aren't enough words to describe how deeply sorry I am. I don't think I ever stopped mourning our relationship, but more than that our friendship. You were my best friend Mercy. I want to be your friend again, more than anything." Sam sat there waiting for her to say something.
"Why did you do it? What made you throw everything away?" Mercy asked, her eyes were pleading for an explanation.
"I felt empty after my dad died. I pushed everyone away I even tried to push you away but you wouldn't go anywhere. I was in a new state. I became self destructive. After a few parties where I got wasted people started to pay attention to me. Girls came on to me. I rejected them knowing what I had with you was better states away then what they could offer me right there. One day I didn't say no. That's no reason to do what I did. After it happened I said I'd never do it again. I prayed for strength and courage to tell you. Every time I picked up the phone, I saw myself losing you. I turned into a coward. Every few months I'd go to some party and a girl would offer me a good time. I felt so dirty each time it happened. I still do." He explained his actions and it didn't give him a sense of relief. He wouldn't feel relieved until she said she forgave him. "I don't think I'll ever express how sorry I am, but I am Mercedes. I can explain away my actions, justify what I've done but it won't be good enough. I'm so deeply sorry. I can't take it back, but I can move forward, try to be someone worthy of your friendship."
"I've been waiting over ten years to hear you say you're sorry. I forgive you Sam. I still don't trust you, but that can be earned. I want to work on a friendship, I don't know how far we'll get but I'm willing. We're not 17 but maybe we have a lot in common." Mercy said as she settled into the lounge chair.
"I'd like that Mercy. I'd like that a lot." Sam said as Mercy scooted over on the chair making room for him. He sat next to her sharing the blanket, she leaned her head on his shoulder and for the first time he took in her perfume. It was still the same, lavender and fresh laundry.
A/N: Review, Alert.. LOVE! Thank you guys! I hope you enjoyed and maybe even got an explanation.
