As the Petals Fall
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Chapter 7 – Pillow Talk
When Harry woke up the very next morning, he immediately felt the dull throbbing in his head, a lovely gift left behind by the wine he'd so greedily devoured the night before. Still, he had a familiar feeling that seemed to make most of the pain go away. Well, perhaps it was still there, but Harry just wasn't thinking about it. No, he felt safe now. But he had to figure out why he had this feeling. There was definitely someone's arm around him. And it was definitely a chest his head was resting on, not a pillow. But whose chest was it?
His thoughts ran around until he imagined Malakai beneath him, sleeping peacefully as Harry started his day. Harry's ex-boyfriend definitely had had the habit of holding Harry ever so delicately after a night's worth of beatings and rapes. It always happened once the effect of the alcohol had worn off of him. Then when he woke, he would whisper apologies in Harry's ear, as well as promises that the same thing would never happen again. Harry always knew that it was all lies, but each morning, he hoped that it might truly be the last time.
Then Harry made a realization. Either this was a terrible nightmare, or he was truly back with Malakai. Who else would he be in bed with? Nobody else wanted him, for he was scarred and broken. He sat up quickly, not careful of his sleeping bed-mate. Then looking down, he noticed that Malakai was nowhere in sight. Instead, Draco laid there, his silver eyes remaining shut as though there hadn't been a disturbance at all. His blonde hair looked so messy, something Harry hadn't seen in quite some time. He'd grown used to seeing it slicked back meticulously.
Making these observations about the man, Harry then started to remember everything that had happened the night before. He remembered getting terribly drunk and droning to Draco about how terrible his life was. Then he remembered practically throwing himself at Draco, like some wanton whore. He could still picture Draco lifting him up onto the counter and having his way with him. But the worst of it all was just how much pleasure Harry had found in the arm's of his ex-lover. Even when they were teenagers, they had had amazing sex. Still, Harry felt ashamed that he could possibly feel that much pleasure from someone that he promised himself not to trust ever again.
Suddenly, he ran out of the bed and towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him and turning the lock. He couldn't be in that bed with Draco any longer. So Harry sat down on the toilet seat, resting his head in his hands as he thought out the situation. This was the worst thing that could have possibly happened. Now it would be so awkward between them. Either that or Draco would expect some sort of relationship. Or maybe he would never want Harry again after seeing all the scars that were hidden all over his body. No, Draco couldn't want him again. Harry was now just a drunken mistake, something to regret.
Harry couldn't remember a time where he felt so confused and conflicted. He'd really enjoyed the pleasure that Draco had given him. The last time he had felt so good was when he was with Draco at Hogwarts. Even before Malakai came along, there hadn't been any flings that made Harry feel as good. At the same time, he couldn't mislead Draco like this. He'd just told him the other day not to expect anything from him. He didn't want Draco to love him because he knew that he was no longer capable of loving another person romantically. He had his children and his friends. They were his family and that was all the love he could possibly give out.
Then came a knock at the door. "Harry, are you alright in there?" It was Draco's voice, which sounded concerned through the wooden door that barred him from Harry.
"Go away. I'm fine. Just go away," Harry mumbled, rocking back and forth on the toilet seat nervously. He was really freaking out by now. So many different thoughts were racing through his head, all of which having to do with Draco. What did he think of Harry after this escapade? Did he think he was a slut? Or maybe he thought this was Harry's way of professing his love for him. Either way, this was perfectly terrible. One couldn't blame Harry for having a bit of a fit.
"Harry, you can't stay in the bathroom all day." Silence… "Okay, I'm going to make us some breakfast. You take a bath and when you're ready we can talk about this." Draco knew that Harry was freaking out and he could completely understand. He, himself, felt ashamed of what had happened. He loved Harry and he didn't want the man to feel pressure because of this. So he walked away from the bathroom, deciding to give Harry some privacy after he didn't answer his kind offer.
Harry did exactly as he was told, finding that taking a bath was the perfect way of relieving some of his stress. He tried not to think about anything as he rested in the water, cleaning his dirty feeling body. Admittedly, Harry didn't feel as dirty as he had with Malakai, but that man had gone out of his way to make sure that Harry thought of himself as a dirty whore. Draco was kind and sweet, yet that didn't keep Harry from thinking he was disgusting. It was as though he would just have sex with any ex-boyfriend who walked back into his life!
When he came out of the bathroom at last, he found Draco sitting at the kitchen table with a stack of pancakes on two plates. The blonde knew that his lover was partial to pancakes and wanted to make him a good breakfast. He was far too thin for Draco's liking. Besides, pancakes were good comfort food and Harry needed that at a time like this. He didn't waste much time getting to the point though. "Harry, we need to talk about what happened last night," he said, frowning. He could see the pained look in Harry's green orbs. "I'm sorry that I took advantage of you. I should have taken advantage of you that way." He really felt guilty.
Harry was surprised now. He hadn't expected that at all. "No, we were both drunk. And…I was the one that provoked you," he recalled. Bloody hell! I'm such a slut! Slut! Whore! He knew it was his fault that it happened at all. Draco hadn't instigated the whole thing anyway.
"Maybe we should just forget that this ever happened. You know, go back to normal?" Draco asked, thinking that this would make Harry feel better. Sex was such a tender subject, and he didn't want Harry to have to regret anything. It was a fling, a random night of passion. Of course, he knew that he would never forget it because Harry had been so brilliant. But he could have Harry distrust him because of this one mistake.
Though Draco was clearly looking out for Harry, the raven-haired man couldn't help but feel hurt. He couldn't shake the thought that he would never be good enough for Draco. Surely, Draco had seen that by now. Part of him hoped that Draco would talk about having a formal relationship again. Again, he remembered himself telling Draco not to expect anything. So he couldn't blame the man for just wanting to forget this all happened. I'm being ridiculous. I can't keep changing my mind like this…
"Yeah, I guess that's for the better." Harry hid the hurt. "Thanks, Draco."
When Harry had first called Catherine, she couldn't hide her surprise. He said was an emergency and he needed to speak to her as soon as possible. So she gave up her lunch break that very same day, wanting to make time for Harry but unable to move other patients around just to see him. She didn't mind missing her lunch since she had a perfectly capable secretary to fetch her something to eat. That didn't keep Harry from feeling even guiltier than he already did. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean for you to lose your lunch hour," he said to her.
"No need to be sorry, Harry. I was thrilled when I first got your call. I'm so happy that you felt like you could talk to me about something and actually reached out to me on your own," she replied, a beaming smile on her face. This seemed to be a major breakthrough for Harry: accepting help from others. "Now, let's see. What was that emergency you were talking about?"
"Draco and I had sex."
It was exactly shocking, but Harry said it as though it was a terrible secret that could tear down the walls. When she heard that they would be living together, Catherine had expected something like this together. Since they had been in a relationship before, they recognized each other's feel, or the map of their bodies. It was easy to feel comfortable with something or someone familiar and she was glad that Harry had found that. But she listened as he spoke.
"I can't believe I let this happen. I was so careful around him and then the second he gets a few glasses of wine into my system, it's like we're the only two people left on earth. I just lost all control over myself. God, I feel like such a whore! I'm disgusting…"
Catherine shook her head. "Harry, you're not a whore and you're not disgusting. Things happen and you can't dwell on them like this. Besides, it's good that you feel comfortable enough to have a normal sex-life or sexual relationship with another person. After what you've been through, I thought this would take much longer for you to grow used to. It's obvious that Draco cares a great deal for you, so I don't see what the problem is."
"No, he doesn't care that much. He said that we should just forget that it ever happened, but I'm not sure if I want to forget. I'm ashamed of myself but…but I felt so bloody good. Hell, I almost felt normal again. I'm sure that he won't want me now that he's seen how ugly my body is. It was just a drunken mistake. Maybe it didn't even mean anything to him. Maybe he just needed to get me out of his system. I don't even know what it meant to myself…I'm just…so confused." The confusion was perfectly evident on his face. His eyes drifted around the room, not wanting to look his therapist directly. Her scrutiny was somewhat uncomfortable.
"Harry, you do recall that you were the one that pushed him away, yes?" she asked him, earning a nod in return. "I have two scenarios for you. The first is that you're afraid of not being wanted. Maybe you don't have feelings for Draco anymore, just as you've been telling me for so long, but you need to have someone who wants you. That's normal for someone who's gone through what you've gone through. You just want to feel accepted. The second is that you're afraid of losing Draco himself. Aren't you upset that Draco's finally backing off like you asked him to?"
Harry couldn't answer her because she was so dead on. He'd been so sure ever since the breakup that he would never let Draco Malfoy back into his life. He'd given up on their relationship and that was his own fault. He couldn't trust him anymore, right? Now he was suddenly upset because Draco wasn't trying to romance him anymore. He wasn't asking Harry to love him anymore.
With his silence, Catherine continued. "You're going to have to decide what you want and what's right for you. Talk to Draco about how you're feeling. I'm sure he'll listen. If you're ready for a relationship and he's interested, then I say go for it. You deserve to be happy, Harry, and you deserve to be loved. If you're not ready for that kind of commitment again, then that's okay too. You have to be honest with yourself and Draco," she explained. It made a lot of sense when she worded it this way. "Talk to him."
But when Harry returned to the apartment with the intention of speaking to Draco, he found a note there instead. It was from Draco:
Harry,
I'm sorry that I'm not here now that you're back, but I got an emergency call from work. As you know, I was going to take the day off, but the Minister himself sent an owl. I'll be home late so don't wait up or bother making me anything to eat. And I might even be gone by the time you wake up in the morning. It gets busy here at the ministry and I'm not sure how many days they'll have me working this week. So my presence around the apartment will be sparse. Take care of yourself while you're gone. I don't want to come back to find you a bloody mess.
Take care,
Draco
There was an emptiness about the apartment without Draco. Harry would just sit on the couch with a good book, but he knew he could never concentrate. He would always wonder what Draco was doing right at that moment and when he would be home. He hoped the blonde would finish early and they could finally talk about their situation, but that would be too good to be true.
Over the next few days, Harry had barely even seen Draco. He could barely believe that they were living in the same place when he'd only see him for maybe five minutes a day if he was lucky. Harry was starting to feel very insecure without Draco there to comfort him. He knew he was being ridiculous. Draco had to work or he wouldn't be able to afford this lovely apartment. Still, Harry was unreasonably irritated that Draco no longer had any time for him.
One day, Harry got a knock on the door and he rushed to open it, hoping it was Draco (though he knew the blonde would never knock on the door since he owned the place). He found Fred and George standing in the threshold of the apartment. They smiled down at him cheerfully. "Harry! Good to see you, mate!" Fred said. "Malfoy sent us an owl the other day saying you'd be feeling a bit lonely."
"We meant to come earlier, but you know how the shop gets. We had customers even after closing time!" George told him as Harry let them into the apartment. They both looked around, amazed at how perfectly designed the place was. "Blimey, this place is spiffy. Guess this is the kind of treatment you get when you get a Malfoy to fall in love with you, eh?"
Harry decided to ignore that last comment. "So how is everyone doing?" he asked eagerly, wanting knew of his children and friends. It was so strange being in hiding and not knowing what was going on in the world beside what was in the Daily Prophet. He needed to know that everything was okay.
"Oh, James and Sirius are doing just great. It's like they're on vacation," Fred answered. "Of course they miss their daddy, but they have fun with the other kids. Mum's having the time of her life. Says she missed having kids running around the burrow, what with everyone all grown up, you see." He paused, thinking for a moment for any other important news. "Oh, little Ginny's getting married to Dean. He proposed over dinner the other night."
George found it fit to cut in here. "Ginny says they'll be waiting until you can come back. She wants you at the wedding of course." Harry was happy to hear that Ginny and Dean finally decided to tie the knot. Still, he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, feeling as though everyone else was moving on with their lives while he was forced to stand still in the same spot for all eternity.
As though that thought had caused some violent sickness within him, Harry suddenly felt the urge to vomit. Fred and George watched curiously as he ran into the bathroom, retching, expelling all the contents from his stomach. Hearing his vomiting, the twins came to his aid immediately, finding Harry staring down at the toilet in complete and udder shock. He was thinking about the sex he had with Draco, his mind flashing through every little detail of the night. That was when he remembered. We forgot contraceptive! His face paled and he vomited again.
When he was clearly out of ammo to throw up, Fred and George helped him up, and wiped his face. Drained of his strength, Harry felt the needed to sit down. "Bloody hell, Harry, is there a stomach bug going around?" George asked. The concerned look didn't quite look right on his face, as Harry was used to seeing the twins just fooling around. He didn't like to see this expression.
"Not exactly…" He blushed.
"Then I suppose the only other possibility was you and Draco having a romp!" Fred said, clearly joking. Harry only looked down, trying to hide the embarrassed expression on his face. That was when Fred realized that he had been right. "Blimey, we ought to get you to St. Mungo's then."
Despite Harry's protests, that's exactly what they did. Fred and George wouldn't let him off the hook. They'd told Draco that they would watch out for Harry and this was the least they could do. This was a serious matter anyway. Harry knew this and dwelled on it as he waited in one of the mediwizard's offices. It was awkward, wearing a hospital gown in front of the twins, but he was glad to have someone there with him while getting checked out.
Mediwizard Jones was a very kind doctor who worked with helping witches and wizards with pregnancy and such. Everything about her was gentle, even her voice, which surprised Harry. Most of his experiences with doctors hadn't been so good, nor so gentle. But she was good to him. "Okay, Mr. Potter. Everything's going to be alright. I'm just going to run my wand over your stomach with a little spell and see what's inside. It won't hurt a bit." She said this more to the twins, who hadn't seen anything like this before.
Harry visibly stiffened as she carefully ran her wand over his body. It was as though he already knew exactly what she was going to say to him. She stopped her wand at a particular spot and examined him. She'd found it; Harry could tell. "Mr. Potter, it does seem that you're pregnant." Harry thought that he would have been ready to hear her say that. He'd known it was true without the exam. But hearing the words come from the mouth of an experienced doctor only made it truer and more horrible to him. He suddenly felt the urge to vomit again.
George and Fred tried desperately to calm him down. "It's not so bad, Harry. You've already done it once, and those were twins! Just think how much easier it'll be to have one like you're supposed to," George joked, trying to earn a smile from Harry with no avail.
"Yeah, and Draco will take care of you. He'll help out. I know he was a git in school, but you know he's changed. Hermione figures that he really cares about you a lot," Fred told him.
"You can't tell Draco!" Harry yelled suddenly. The twins both looked at him, alarmed at his outburst.
Before they could argue, the mediwizard looked at Harry. "You know, Mr. Potter, there are other options if you're not ready to have this baby."
Harry knew all about those other options. "No, I will not abort this baby and I can't imagine giving it up for adoption. I just couldn't do it," he admitted, looking down at his stomach, where his next child was silently growing. He couldn't believe he was having Draco's baby. It was so ironic. Draco had left him so he could make heirs to the Malfoy name. Now another heir was resting inside of him, just waiting to come out into the world.
Back at the apartment, Fred and George tried their luck in convincing Harry to tell Draco about the baby. "He needs to know that he's having another child, Harry. You can't keep this from him," George reasoned. It was wrong to keep this a secret and even Harry knew it.
"I don't want Draco to feel obligated to be with me just because I'm having his baby. If he knew that I was pregnant, he would feel responsible for it," Harry replied.
"Technically, he is partly responsible. He took part in the shagging, right?" Fred mentioned.
"Very funny…No, this is my fault. I knew I should have used contraceptive. I knew I was able to bear children and still I made this mistake. I know I was drunk, but that's no excuse really. It was my responsibility to make sure to use the contraceptive spell. Draco wouldn't think to use it, just thinking that I was a man. Plus, he was drunk as well," Harry said, just making excuses for the blonde. "Besides, Draco is too busy to worry about me or another child. And he already had Kendrick."
"Look, Harry, we can't force you to tell him, but I hope you do it on your own…"
"Do what?"
All three of them turned to see Draco standing in the doorway. He had a very puzzled look on his face. "Erm…Fred and George here were just telling me I should rest because I've a bit of a stomach bug," Harry said, saving his own hide.
"Are you okay?" Draco asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
"Oh yes, of course…George and Fred just took me to the doctor and they said it shouldn't last very long." Draco looked relieved. "I'm just going to go rest then." And he left the room, not wanting to stay in the same room as Draco while keeping such a big secret from him. He only hoped that the twins would spill the beans to Draco or anyone else for that matter. He couldn't have everyone knowing except for Draco. That would be wrong.
"Suppose we should be leaving then," George suggested, as they moved towards the door. "Oh, by the way, Malfoy, Ginny and Dean are getting married and they wanted us to spread the news."
Draco smiled. "I send them my congratulations then." The twins left promptly.
When he got into the bedroom to check on Harry, the man was lying on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. He did look a little paler than usual, something that worried Draco quite a bit. So he sat down next to Harry on the bed. "I don't need a babysitter, Draco," Harry suddenly said, looking up at Draco's smiling face. "I'm sure you have work to do anyway."
"I'm done with work for the day. And I want to take care of you, especially if you're sick," Draco replied. Really, he just wanted an excuse to be near Harry.
"I'd rather be left alone. Besides, you could catch my bug," Harry said, though he knew that that wouldn't happen. If only pregnancy was contagious.
"Is everything alright?" Draco looked concerned.
"Yeah, I just miss everyone. I want to see my children and Ron and Hermione and I wish I had been there when Dean proposed to Ginny. I feel like I'm missing everything," Harry replied. Meanwhile, he really just wanted to tell Draco the truth. He wanted to shout at him about his condition and how it was all Draco's fault. But he wouldn't. He would keep it a secret. Eventually Draco would have to notice, as his stomach grew larger. He was terrified of what Draco's reaction would be…So he would have to disappear before that and go somewhere that Draco would never think to look for him.
"I understand. I miss Kendrick too." But he knew that his son was safe and that was what mattered. "Don't worry. We'll eventually go back and then Dean and Ginny will be getting married. We won't miss that at least."
Harry nodded and turned on his side. He no longer felt like he could talk to Draco about his feelings concerning the sex they'd had. It would be so wrong to start up a relationship when he was keeping his child a secret from him. The thought scared him even because he realized that he would have been ready to start something with Draco. But now he would have to find someone else to stay with. Draco would find him with Hermione or the Weasleys…It would have to be something more discreet.
Suddenly, he felt Draco moving as the blonde got up to turn the lights off. "Well, feel better Harry." And he left the room, forcing Harry to be alone with his thoughts.
The next morning, Harry noticed a particularly glum look on Draco's face as he read the Daily Prophet. He remembered seeing Hermione look exactly the same way when a story about Voldemort was in the paper. It was so strange to see Draco with the same expression as his bushy-haired friend. "Everything okay?" he asked.
"H-Harry…Now, I don't want you to freak out but—"
Harry grabbed the paper out of his hands, recoiling when he saw a picture of Malakai on the cover. Someone must have taken this picture at the trial because it showed the large man attacking Harry, who fell to the ground. Harry's green eyes moved across the picture to the title of the article. "MASS ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN." Harry couldn't believe it. This sort of thing hadn't happened since Voldemort was still alive. Feeling nauseous, Harry couldn't even read the article. If Malakai escaped from Azkaban, he would surely be hunting for Harry and his children. Now that he was carrying another child inside of him, he couldn't risk being found by Malakai.
Suddenly, Harry found himself enveloped in Draco's arms. "Everything will be okay. This is why we went into hiding right? He'll never find us here," Draco said, running his hand through the raven strands of hair.
Harry pulled away. "No, I need to make sure James and Sirius are okay."
Draco pulled him back into their embrace. "They're with the Weasleys. I'm sure Molly has seen the paper today. Kingsley and Tonks will be patrolling the burrow, so you don't have to worry about it." He really wished there was some way he could make Harry feel better…He needed a way to distract him from what was going on in the rest of the world. The blonde took Harry's face in his hands and looked him right in the eyes. "Harry, I'll keep you safe."
For a moment, the two just gazed at each other silently. God knows what either of them had been thinking. A moment later, Draco was leaning in towards Harry, capturing his lips in a hesitant and tender kiss. Harry trembled, but didn't pull away as Draco had expected him to. When they parted, Harry looked up at him with a very puzzled look on his face. "I thought we were just going to forget that it ever happened…"
"I tried. Really, I did. But I can't stop thinking about you. You were so perfect…" he said, placing another kiss on the top of Harry's head.
"I'm not perfect, Draco. I'm scarred and disgusting. I was sure that you wouldn't want to look at me again after seeing me that way…" Harry protested. There was no way that Draco could want him again!
"Don't be daft, Harry," Draco told him, his lips at Harry's earlobe. Then he pulled back. "Sorry. I won't take advantage of you again." Just as he was about to move back for good, Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him. The most mind-blowing part of this kiss was that Harry initiated it on his own, even without the glasses of wine. Draco felt elated, even when he picked Harry up and brought him to the bedroom. His desired had heightened so drastically in the past few seconds and he had to have Harry now.
On the bed, Harry rolled around so he was on top of Draco, straddling the man's hips. He bent down, pressing his body into Draco's so temptingly. Draco couldn't believe that Harry was taking such initiative. At moments like this, Harry didn't care that he would never be good enough for Draco. Just being able to please him like this was enough for him. It would have to do, for he was sure that they would never form an actual relationship again. Better to enjoy himself though.
The duo felt so rushed, Draco just couldn't control where his hands were going. As much as he wanted to drag this out, he couldn't wait to fill Harry. He needed that completion of being one with the Savior. Harry felt very much the same and didn't even bother with Draco's shirt, immediately unbuckling Draco's pants, pulling them down just enough that his erection was revealed. Within seconds, Harry had the organ in his mouth, causing Draco to gasp loudly before starting to moan. His hand went into the raven locks, grasping at them as Harry's head bobbed up and down. He couldn't believe that Harry was actually doing this for him. He'd done it before…but after all the sexual abuse he'd been through, Draco didn't think he'd be so keen on it. "A-Ah! Harry, stop!' he called, not wanting to orgasm just yet. When Harry pulled back, giving him a puzzled look, Draco smiled. "I want to come inside you, nowhere else."
Harry pulled his own shirt off and pants down, as well as the underwear he'd been wearing. It was strange being completely naked while Draco was almost completely clothes, but something about it was terribly erotic. He whispered a lubrication spell and straddled Draco's waist again. "Ready, Draco?" he asked, while preparing himself with his own fingers. Draco could barely speak, watching the erotic sight before him. He could only nod, making Harry grin. When he impaled himself on Draco's member, they both moaned uncontrollably.
Then Harry started moving his body up and down, longing for the friction that would be caused between them. Harry braced himself with both of his hands on either side of Draco's head. Draco would argue later that he found much more pleasure in this than Harry ever could. Just looking up at Harry's face as he lowered himself onto Draco's cock was breathtaking. He could see everything through those green eyes. So he watched as Harry moaned and ground against him in a way that almost made Draco's eyes roll back into his head. When Harry's eyes met his own, they locked on each other, watching as the pleasure became greater. Harry sped up, causing himself to moan. "A-Ah…D-Draco!"
Hearing him shout his name like that made Draco's entire body respond. "Gods Harry…Say it again…"
"D-Draco! Draco, I-I'm cumming!" And sure enough, he did, screaming out his lover's name as his entire body clenched deliciously around Draco's member. The blonde came soon after, not being able to handle the pressure for much longer.
Afterwards, Harry laid on Draco, his head resting on Draco's chest as arms wrapped around his waist. Draco had given him his button-down shirt, since they were both too lazy to get off the bed to retrieve Harry's clothing. Not to mention, Draco had more than one fantasy of Harry walking around in just his shirt, which only just covered the man's rump.
Harry felt terribly ashamed now that the deed had been done. He'd figured that if he was already pregnant then why shouldn't he just enjoy himself? Still, he didn't want to lead Draco on. The man was now rubbing his back delicately, trying to comfort him. "Harry, I'll always protect you, okay?" Now Harry felt even guiltier. He was wasting Draco's time. It wasn't like the man was going to leave here with an actual boyfriend. Draco deserved much better and Harry was holding him back.
"Didn't you have work today?" he asked Draco.
"I did, but I called in sick after seeing the paper. I wanted to be here with you."
Harry really appreciated his concern. Really, he did. "I don't mean to be such a burden to you. You shouldn't miss work just for me," he said.
Draco shook his head. "Harry, I'll never think of you as a burden. I care for you so much, and I know I've done you wrong in the past, but I've always hoped that you could forgive me. I love you, Harry. I love you so much that I just wish I could make everything right."
Harry smiled half-heartedly. He was pleased to hear Draco say this to him. But he couldn't make everything right. Harry was secretly pregnant with Draco's child and in hiding from his abusive ex-lover. Nobody could make that right. He realized, too, that if he told Draco about their unborn child, Draco would have to deal with having an illegitimate child. The papers wouldn't be so kind about that, especially since it concerned the Boy Who Lived.
Still, his heart fluttered like that of a teenager when he heard Draco explain his love for him. It reminded him of when they were younger and in love.
The Room of Requirement had often been their place of meeting. It seemed as though the school were accepting their relationship by showing them its most secret room. Hogwarts knew they had a need to be together. This was the one place where no one could find them. They could be together and keep it a secret from the rest of the world, which was necessary at the time. Ron and Hermione wouldn't accept their relationship after all that Malfoy had put them through. At the same time, the other Slytherins wouldn't be so keen either. Or they would think Draco was just shagging the Golden Boy for kicks.
The room always seemed to know what kind of mood they were in. If they just wanted a quiet place to be with one another, it would show them a silent room with a romantic candle-lit dinner waiting for them. On the other hand, if they wanted sex, it would present them with a beautiful canopy bed with white sheets. It was perfect and the two made sure to make full use of it.
One particular night, Harry lay next to Draco, snuggled comfortably in his arms as he tried to catch his breath. They were both sweaty from earlier activities, but had smiles on their faces. Sex was always something they enjoyed together. Draco had expected this relationship to be purely for a romp and then he would walk away, knowing he'd shagged the Boy Who Lived. But Harry was so captivating in bed: the noises he made, the expression on his face just as he came. There was nothing like it. Draco had never experienced anything like Harry James Potter in his entire life and he wasn't going to let go so easily.
Harry, of course, had accepted for quite some time that he was in love with Draco Malfoy. It was difficult to believe at first. After much frustration over the matter, he'd come to terms with it, though he was sure that nothing would ever happen. Sure, they had really good sex, and would sometimes just sit and talk together. But surely, Draco only saw him as his secret 'friend with benefits'. After graduating, he would have to move on with his life. Eventually, he knew he would get over Draco. It would just take come time.
"Bloody hell, Harry, you're amazing," Draco breathed, placing a kiss on the top of Harry's head. The smaller of the two looked up at him from where his head rested on the blonde's chest. "No, not just the sex." He loved the way that he knew exactly what Harry was thinking just by looking at that beautiful face. "You know, at first I thought this was just going to be about pleasure…the normal one-night stand. Then I saw just how beautiful you are, Harry." He smiled down at the boy. "So I couldn't help falling in love."
The shock written on Harry's face made Draco chuckle before swooping down to him for another passion-filled kiss. "You love me?" Harry asked meekly, unable to believe his ears. When Draco nodded, Harry kissed him again. When they made love, it was the most amazing experience either of them had ever had. Nothing would ever come to replace it.
"D-Draco…I really appreciate everything you've done for me and James and Sirius too…" Harry started nervously. "But, it's hard for me to love someone…romantically speaking." He didn't want to hurt Draco. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted the other man to understand. "And I never thought I would ever have sex with another man ever again after what Malakai did to me. Somehow I feel comfortable enough around you and you know how to make me feel good." He blushed, feeling embarrassed about saying these things. "I just can't let myself fall again."
Draco smiled softly, but in a way that Harry knew a disappointed frown was hiding beneath it. "It' okay, Harry. I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for," he said. He'd known that Harry wouldn't be ready for him. Sex just had to go and complicate everything, didn't it? "I just wanted you to know how I feel."
Harry smiled now too. "Thank you…"
Dear Neville,
How are you? I'm sure you've been hearing all about how I'm doing. Hermione told me she'd sent you and Luna an owl. How's little baby Atticus? Heard he's quite a handful. Don't worry. That passes and they're eventually a joy to have around. Haha! Well, I'm writing to check in…and I have a favor to ask of you. I know you have your own quarters while you're teaching at Hogwarts, and I was wondering if I might stay with you a night or two. Just until I find someplace else. Only if you and Luna don't mind. I wouldn't want to bother the two of you. I just can't live with Draco anymore. But don't jump to any conclusions! He's been a perfect gentleman. Anyway, I'll explain later. Please, owl me soon.
Thanks,
Harry
Neville could barely believe his eyes. Hermione had told him that Harry would be staying with Draco in Hogsmeade since he and Luna were living at Hogwarts as teachers. He'd expected that after some time they would get back together and everything would be okay. But now it seemed that things were only getting more complicated than before. Of course, that didn't mean that he wasn't going to accept Harry's request. He owed a lot to Harry Potter and would do anything for the wizard.
Holding their one-month old baby, Luna looked over Neville's shoulder. She was just as eccentric as always and already the child had some strange charm around his neck. Luna swore it would keep the nargols away. "Ooh! Harry wants to stay with us! We'll have ourselves a good time, and Harry can meet little Atticus!" she said in her sweet voice while she patted the baby's back. Neville had always loved the sound of her voice. It was so melodious. "Do answer him quickly, Neville."
Neville agreed, though part of him felt as though he was trained to listen to the women in his life. It had started with his grandmother, who still found time to visit and boss him around, and now Luna had the power to control him so easily. She just had to use that soft voice of hers and he would listen so intently. But he was happy, and he made her happy. So everyone was happy. "Yes dear," he said before getting the parchment and ink to write another letter back.
Harry,
Luna was thrilled to hear that you'll be coming to stay with us. Regarding your transportation, it'll be safest for you to floo here from the apartment. I'm sure you're planning on keeping this a secret from Draco. You'll be safest at Hogwarts anyway. Nobody will find you here. I will, however, owl Hermione and Ron so they know that you're safe. Wouldn't want to startle anyone we didn't have to startle, right? Come whenever you find it possible. We'll always be ready to have you with us. And we would never mind doing a favor for you, Harry. You've proved yourself more than worthy.
Best wishes and see you soon,
Neville
Neville was certainly different than the timid boy he used to be. Still skinny as hell, but ever since proving himself a true Gryffindor by pulling Godric's sword out of the sorting hat, he'd been a changed man. Never questioned himself again, got himself a beautiful (though strange) wife and Harry was sure they were perfectly thrilled now that they had a newborn child.
Harry was very happy with the reply, especially since it came while Draco was at work. He certainly didn't want the blonde to know about his departure and was trying to pack his belongings as quickly as possible. All the while, he couldn't keep his guilt from coming up. He hated leaving this way. Draco would come home to an empty apartment and most likely search for him like crazy. Hopefully, he wouldn't think to check Hogwarts. But it was better this way. Draco could go back to his normal life and Kendrick could have his father back.
Still, tears fell from his eyes as he started to say goodbye to the apartment. He really did enjoy being there, especially with Draco around. It was almost like old times, when they had been going out as teenagers. He was going to miss it, but he had to do this. He couldn't let Draco see him pregnant. Sure, Draco had said that he loved him, but he deserved so much better! He deserved to find himself a pretty wife who could fully love him. And then he could have more children without the embarrassment of them being illegitimate.
Before leaving, Harry decided it was only fair that he write Draco a note of apology. He couldn't leave without saying anything! So he wrote. And he cried. And he wrote. His tears left evidence on the parchment as he tried to articulate his feelings into words. Draco would still search for him, but at least this way he would know that Harry was somewhere safe. And if Hermione knew where he was going, she would assure Draco that Harry was safe, right? So everything was ready and perfect.
There was no excuse for Harry to stay any longer. Stepping into the large fireplace, he held the floo powder, pausing for a moment to look at the apartment longingly. "Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom's quarters." He threw the powder into the fireplace.
And then he was gone.
