I'M BACK! Hello to those of you, my dear fans, that I have missed oh so freaking much! Well I am happy to announce that YES this is a new chapter! and if you have not noticed the month has changed! It is now November! Aren't you excited? its getting cold! WELL then October was a VERY busy month..but now it's over! My darlings, I am back, and refreshed:) I CAN WRITE AGAIN! well I know, or at least hope that some of you were pretty impatience for this to come! well it is and I won't waste your time babbling about October nonsense seeing as how it is a new month and all. SO enjoy the belated chapter:)

song? Hold on- Adam Lambert -leaky leaky:) (glamberts will understand this meaning.)


ALEC POV

I was at the infirmary for a few more days for healing my injuries, and to regain some essential parts of my life, before they moved me to my room at the institute. I realized that the only reason I had felt so numb when I woke was because of the drink, once the liquid wore off, the aching was brought to my attention. It soon turned to slight uncomforted then escalated to full on agony.

Who knew I had so many broken ribs and gashes littering my body.

This was all way too bizarre, I wake up in this hospital like setting with no recollection of the past of anything of my life, only to find out that I have a family, I; apparently, was a shadow hunter, and my job in life is to hunt demons.

If this wasn't already weird enough, Isabelle, the dark haired girl; spent the next week explaining my life and any sort of time I had ever spent with her, trying to help me relive it no doubt, but nothing clicked. One thing irked me though…I cared for her in ways that strangers shouldn't…..care. Everytime her lip would quiver when my mind would only return to a blank slate after all the stories of how much fun we had together, my only desire was to be her solace. Take on her pain and leave only the feelings of joy left behind, but I didn't understand these feelings, she had said she was my sister, our faces proved that, but I just didn't know.

It was Jace's turn for bonding next, he would come in after Isabelle and explain the crazy stunts he had dragged me into, telling me I would always ruin the fun, but would help him out of the stupid situations he would find himself in. I had that affectionate feeling of wanting to pat his back and tell him it would be okay when his shoulders sagged from disappointment when I was still a theoretical blind man. Like Isabelle, he had said I was his sibling though it wasn't as evident as before. Though, I knew it was true because one of the things both stories had in common was a young boy named Max. I was sad to hear his name being brought up, though like all the other unknown feelings I was drawn to a blank. They always talked in past tense and that irked me so I asked about it, and both times was answered with pregnant silence. So I eventually stopped asking.

I was told I had parents though I hadn't seen them yet, Isabelle mentioned that they traveled a lot, I felt a bitterness fill me at that comment, like a glass being filled with water to the brim; so close to spilling over, but not quiet.

For the first time since my awakening I was alone, no Isabelle, no Jace, no Magnus, well I can't really say Magnus because as soon as he was ready to walk he vanished, but most of all…nobody right outside my door, waiting to see if I have a random epiphany and remember all of my memories.

I plopped down on the bed with a hard thump and just let my thoughts wonder, everything was in disarray, nothing really comprehendible. What was I to do? Everyone demanded something from me, be it memories, or my presence, nobody seemed to realized that I needed peace.

A timid knock brought me out of my revere, my eyes snapped open as I pulled myself off the board like mattress with great frustration.

I guess I'll never be alone until I remember.

Though I never expected him to appear, I was utterly speechless when I opened the door, the very same warlock that had saved my life was standing there, looking completely out of place and nervous.

Happiness filled me from head to toe. It wasn't gratitude from being saved; I knew the difference in emotions at least.

I was so curious as to why I felt this way? Why do I want to throw myself at his very feet?

My hands were trembling as I waited for him to speak; to utter the first words, because I definitely couldn't. I felt my stomach churn as he stood completely still, silent, which was what scared me the most, the silence. It was always the moment when emotions ate me alive, sympathy, guilt, the urge to let tears spill from my eyes, and the moment of truth when, yet again, I am the theoretical blind man.

I would stay strong.

I WILL gain my memories back.

Magnus spoke at long last, leaving the uncomfortable hush behind us, "Hi Alec…Um you do remember me…correct?" He questioned, the nervous look still plastered on his face.

"Y-yes, Magnus, I do…" I heard a big exhale of relief Magnus had at my reply, "Do you…do you mind if I come in? Please…" I tilted my head up slightly so I could hear him clearly.

I nodded slightly after the question made contact with my ears, indicating my agreement as I stumbled back into the bleak room. Standing off to the side, avoiding his gaze, at this very moment the floor, having caught my attention, was apparently the most interesting thing in the world.

"Alec…please, look at me…" I turned my head to the sound of his voice and was caught in a trance, blue eyes against vibrant yellow/green eyes locked together.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a spoon. Yes a spoon. That's how completely and ridiculously uncomfortable it was in this very silent, and very still room.

Our eyes were locked together, each one daring the other one to break the gaze, a deadly game played by only two. Why couldn't I remember the bronze of his skin, the slight Asian descent clear in his face, or the long toned body, or even the lust worthy seductive voice? Why did none of this ring a bell? Obviously my body remembers something or my heart wouldn't be racing as though I had just finished a marathon.

Even when talking to my siblings, the telltale heartache was present when they sagged with disappointment, so why did nothing, not even a touch of skin, ring a bell as it did with Magnus?

With eyes still focusing intently on mine Magnus spoke, "I know Isabelle and Jace have both done this…and you're probably irritated that I'm here about to do the same thing…but I wanted to talk to you…maybe try to get you to remember something…ANYTHING really…anything at all…"

I stood with my heart racing at the desperate aura that radiated off of him, and a slight blush that flooded my neck as I nodded at his statement, hopefully telling him that I will try and regain my memory as well. He walked forward slowly taking my hand in his as he led me to the bed, once there he sat me down and went through his story. Or should I say ours?

None of this struck a bell, maybe time would ware this memory block away, maybe I just needed to wait this out. Though I listened, silently hoping that something would strike me as odd and I would think about it so much that it would regain my memory. Maybe I would just remember something of what he said and I would slowly remember everything along with that one bit of information. But alas, no such domino effect happened during this story.

I believed that this would all be distant one day and that I will remember anything I wanted, hoping, begging, pleading even, that this was not permanent.

After Magnus finished speaking of the moments we shared that might've stuck, he stopped and stared at me, his eyes pleading that I remembered, but there would be no such thing for I didn't seem to remember even the tiniest spark of info.

My heart almost gave out when I saw the third person to sag from distress, but for the first time, I wanted to kiss it better, I wanted to lay my head at the most perfect place between his neck and shoulder, I wanted to wrap my arms around his thin frame and just stay there. Content. These feelings scared me, I didn't know this person, or so it seemed, and I wanted to be there for him. Maybe these are feelings from before...but they don't matter unless I understood what I feel, in which case, I do not.

I am the one who cannot swim who is in too deep.

I am the one who cannot see who watches every detail.

I am the one who cannot hear who listens for the difference.

I am the one who cannot move who stretches for the opening.

I am the one who is alone among people.


HELLO AGAIN! or should i say goodbye? WELL then that was a nice chapter wasn't it? I think you should review what you thought of it. A good idea, yes? You want to review how mad you are that I made you ladies, possibly gents wait a month, yes? I would:) DOOOOO tell me what you thought, I actually really want to know if you like the direction I am taking this in! because if you don't...I want to please you guys..so tell me. lol ok well THANK YOU for reading! until next time...ADIEU! *waves goodbye*