Chapter Seven
Max's POV
Saturday, November 21st, 2013, 2:21am
There I was, laying in some strange, very expensive bed with Victoria Chase of all people. Holding her hands against my chest, staring into dark green eyes, my entire body ready to explode. I could've sworn that everyone within a mile's radius could hear my heart beating faster than the speed of light. Was I really about to say this?
"I… I don't just wanna be friends."
Apparently I was gonna say it. It was said. I froze, searching Victoria's for any signs of emotion. She looked shell shocked, like her entire world had just come crumbling down in front of her. That was never a good response. I still couldn't believe that I'd said it. I said it out loud and everything. How did I get here? How did I go from being totally happy keeping my feelings a secret forever to spilling my guts to the one person who could totally tear my last bit of hope to shreds.
But I didn't want her to know that she had that power over me. Not because I was afraid she would use it against me, but because I didn't want her to feel like she had to do something that she didn't want to do. My entire body was on fire from embarrassment and the anticipation I got from the eternity it took for her to answer me. She was just staring at me, like I had turned her world upside down or told her the biggest secret of all time. Part of me wanted to tell her that I could also reverse time and I was the reason why Nathan got arrested to take the weight off of the situation I had put myself into, but I knew that wouldn't exactly help. So I waited.
"Why?" She murmured, looking away from me. She was so beautiful in the soft glow of the moonlight coming through the windows behind me. "I've never done anything nice for you as long as we've known each other."
"You asked me to be your friend," I replied, wishing that she would look at me. I was so nervous that she would turn me down, but she wasn't laughing in my face so that was a start. "That shows that you care. Even if it's just a little. And I know that I'm not exactly your favorite person on the planet and I'm surprised that you haven't thrown me out on my ass already, but I really care about you. You're so smart and talented and so dedicated to everything you do. Not to mention the fact that you're probably the most beautiful girl in all of Oregon, maybe even the whole world."
I was rambling on and on, but she was looking at me now, this soft, vulnerable look in her eyes.
"I don't know what triggered these feelings, but they're real, as far as I can tell," I continued, trying to keep the confidence I had seemed to possess just a second before. "It's ok if you don't feel the same way. I understand if you're disgusted by the thought of-"
I was interrupted by a pair of soft lips meeting mine, pressing me against my pillow as Victoria leaned over so that the top part of her body was above me. I didn't even gasp, I just froze, unsure of what to do. I had only kissed one other person before, but it had been a goodbye type of thing. This was different. Like I was meeting Victoria for the first time.
She pulled away from me and I looked up at her, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.
"Wowser," I gasped out. She giggled, shaking her head. I would've given almost anything to see her blush in that moment, but the shadows hid her face.
"I'm sorry," she said, sounding sort of breathless. "Was that too much?" She sounded nervous, but I could hear the smile in her voice. I shook my head and brought my hand up to her face, stroking her cheek with my thumb.
"No," I replied, unable to wipe the smile off of my face. "Can… can we do it again? I'm not exactly practiced." I could feel my cheeks and ears getting hot.
"We'll have to remedy that," Victoria replied, her voice sounding sort of low and dangerous. The sound of her words made my whole body get tight and awoke the butterflies in my stomach. Was this even real? She leaned down and kissed me again, longer this time. I kissed her back, feeling something new start to come alive somewhere underneath my skin. It felt like someone had lit a fire in my chest that made me crave to be so close to Victoria, to be a part of her to the point that it almost felt like desperation.
I placed my right hand behind her head, tugging a little at her perfect blond hair, my other hand on her arm because I was unsure of whether or not I should move. It was sort of awkward to kiss in this position. Victoria must've sensed my slight, however ignorable, discomfort and pulled away, sitting up in the bed. I did the same and she straddled my legs, looking down at me with her brilliant green eyes. I could feel my heart beating so hard that I could've sworn it was going to break free of my ribs.
She had her fingers in my hair, as she smiled down at me. It was a dangerous sort of smile that made my stomach do a flip. I wanted to kiss her more, but she was making me wait on purpose, letting me cool down. But I didn't want to cool down. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her close and closed the small gap between us, kissing her so hard that I had to remind myself that she was real and could probably bruise if I got too excited. I loosened my grip on her and pulled away from her.
I was struggling to catch my breath, but Victoria wouldn't give in. She shoved me down onto the bed and kissed me, cutting me off before I could speak. I couldn't help letting out a small whimper as I felt her fingers going under my top slowly. My skin caught fire wherever she touched it and I actually moaned, like in all those cheesy movies where where the less experienced one was totally unprepared. I felt her body pulling away from mine before I could react and looked up at her with a pouty look on my face. It was more played out than I meant it to be, but I couldn't help myself.
"What are we doing?" Victoria's voice broke through the gasps and pants that escaped us both. We had barely done anything, but I felt like my chest was about to explode. I was so happy and so, unbelievably warm under the blankets as well as Victoria's body. She was pressed against me still, but she had pulled back enough to speak, her nose and forehead brushing against mine.
"Well I thought we were kissing, but I think I just have a really pretty girl laying on top of me," I replied, giggling a little. Victoria just let out an amused breath and gently brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. The gesture was small but gentle, making me let out a soft gasp at her touch.
"I just…" she hesitated, letting out a sigh. "I don't want to do this unless we've been dating because you deserve better than a spur of the moment thing." Her voice sounded so different as she spoke in that moment, like she actually cared about what she was saying. Like she actually cared about me. The sudden realization of what she was talking about hit me like a wave crashing against rocks.
"Ohhhh," I said softly, unable to stop the blush that covered my face. "Well, I've never actually done this before so it probably wouldn't be the least awkward experience." Victoria had one brow raised, looking at me with a bit of surprise.
"Really?" She asked "You've never done anything?" She said it like she almost didn't believe me and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Well, I mean, I've kissed someone before, but it never really went any farther than that," I replied, gently running my right hand up and down her side as I looked away from her a little.
"Why not?" She asked, laying herself down on top of me completely, lying her head on my chest. She wasn't as heavy as I expected. I wrapped my arms around her, unable to keep myself from smiling. She seemed so comfortable, like she'd finally had some sort of release from herself. Had she had feelings for me for so long that she was willing to throw away her facade so easily? Then her question registered and I felt my breath catch in my throat.
"Uh… Well, she… She died." The words hung in the air over us like weights that threatened to drop down on us at any moment. There was a pause and I felt Victoria tense up a little, like she wanted to pull away from me. She tried a little but I just held her close. "No, it's ok." I whispered, almost desperately. Victoria was probably the best thing to happen to me since Chloe died and I wasn't about to let go of that. I wasn't going to let her go the way I'd let Chloe go. I tried to push away the tears that threatened to break me, the lump in my throat growing.
"I'm sorry, Max," Victoria's voice broke through my thoughts, the tinge of guilt in her voice made me want to cry even more. I just shook my head and buried my face in her hair, letting out a shaky breath.
"It's not your fault," I replied, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "It's my fault for not trying to save her."
