"blah blah"- Speaking Greek

"blah blah"- Speaking Amestrian

'blah blah'- Thinking

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Fullmetal Alchemist, or Percy Jackson. Good thing too, or they wouldn't be nearly as good as they are now. They belong to J.K. Rowling, Hiromu Arakawa, and Rick Riordan.

Edward

Ed had only taught four classes, and he was already completely fed up with all of his 'wizard' students. Every class was the same. They all wanted to know how old he was, if he could really teach them alchemy, and, most importantly, whether or not he was a wizard. Upon finding out that he was fifteen and not a wizard, Ed found that each class had different reactions, sometimes the class being divided into two.

Some of them obviously held a sense of superiority, and looked down their noses at him. Others seemed surprised, but excited. Some looked doubtful, but willing to try, and some just smiled and accepted him. He noticed that the color of their clothing seemed to correlate to what their response was.

Ed groaned. He had just finished teaching a class of Gryffindor/Slytherin third-years, and had one more class for the day; Gryffindor fifth-years; but he had a free period in-between them. He had been putting off going to the hospital wing all day, but he knew that if he didn't go before dinner then Madame Pomfrey would drag him there by force. She had been shooting him pointed looks throughout all lunch.

Ed was a bit reluctant to leave his classroom. In here, he was safe from all of the crazy magic that was abundant throughout Hogwarts. He was still coping with the fact that he would have to use an owl of all things to send any letters to Al. He also knew that it was only a matter of time before the more bold students starting pranking him with whatever their magic could do. As soon as everyone learned that he couldn't preform magic, they would be sure to take advantage of the fact. The fact that he was the same age or younger than plenty of them wouldn't help matters.

Ed sighed as he left his classroom and began walking towards the hospital wing. Teaching these kids was going to be hard. Most of them had grown up being able to use magic for every need. The ones who were 'muggle born' would learn the easiest; especially that one Gryffindor third-year who had taken chemistry. Ed wondered about him; he was the only student out of all of his classes to have taken chemistry. Ed hoped that he was able to answer the riddle.

Thinking about the riddle he had given caused Ed to cheer up slightly. 'Half of them probably won't be able to figure it out, so my classes will be cut down at the end of the month.' Ed was interrupted from is speculating when he arrived at the hospital wing. He had barely stepped inside when Madame Pomfrey whisked him over to a bed and began asking a series of rapid-fire questions.

"How are you feeling? Are you limbs hurting? I can provide you with a climate-control spell if you'd like. Do you have a headache? Here, eat some more chocolate." The whole time she was waving her wand around him, presumably checking for any issues.

Ed blinked, trying to keep up with her. "I don't know if using magic on my automail would be the best idea," he said warily. To be completely honest, he didn't fully trust magic, and he knew that Winry would kill him if he messed up his automail with magic of all things.

Madame Pomfrey frowned. "Well, if it gets to be hurting too bad then you come and tell me right away and I'll give you something for the pain, at least. Are you sure that your arm and leg are okay? I haven't ever seen anything like that."

Ed nodded. "They're fine. I doubt that they will be a problem." He stood from the bed. "I should probably be going now, I have another class to teach. I'll come back if I have any problems, I promise!" He added as she opened her mouth to say something else. He hurried out of the room and headed back toward his own classroom. 'Just one more class, then I'm free.' He reassured himself. 'Just one more class. I can do that. I've made it through four already, one more won't be a problem.'

One more was a problem. The class started off fine–well, as fine as all of the others–and Ed was in the middle of his explanation of the periodic table, when he noticed something about the students. He heard a lot of whispering, and some occasional snickers. He whirled around to see what they were doing.

"What?!" He snapped. There was another round of muffled laughter. Then one of the students, a red headed boy who sitting next to an exact copy of him, said something. It was then that Ed realized that he couldn't understand what they were saying. His eyes widened in realization.

'Damn! I forgot about the translation spell!' He had completely forgotten about Professor Lupin waving his wand and allowing him to speak and understand English.

Seeing his expression, were set off into another round of badly concealed smirks and laughter. The two red-haired twins started calling out phrases, and pretty soon the whole class was roaring with laughter. Ed was growing increasingly angry; mostly because he had a feeling that quite a few of those comments related to his height.

"HEY! QUIET!" He shouted. Of course, that didn't help matters at all. Even if they did know what he was saying, they obviously would pretend not to. Ed couldn't control them at all, and it was making him mad. Very mad.

The twins seemed to be aware of his dangerous mood, because they quieted down, and the rest of the class soon followed, but they were all still smirking away. Ed didn't say anything, he just pointed at the door. The class gathered their things and filed out of the classroom, still grinning away. One of the twins cheerfully said one last thing before Ed slammed the door in his face.

Ed groaned. To make matters worse, now he was going to have to go to one of the teachers to get his translation spell renewed, and they were probably all still teaching. He headed for the door. Surely they couldn't all be in a class. There had to be at least one who was free. He had barely taken two steps out of his classroom when suddenly he felt something hit his eyes and found, to his horror, that he couldn't see anything. Hearing giggling and retreating footsteps to his left, Ed whirled in that direction.

"Hey! Get back here right now, damn it!" Of course, whoever it was didn't listen.

Ed took a step forward and immediately tripped over what seemed to be a large box, probably left by the culprit to prevent pursuit. Ed cursed his luck. It hadn't even be one full day, and he was already being pranked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ed had to admire the overall strategy.

He wouldn't be able to see anyone retreating because the essence of the prank was that he was blinded.

He couldn't do anything to remove whatever charm had been cast because of his lack of magic.

All of the classes would let out soon, meaning the halls would be flooded with students just in time to see him stumbling around like an idiot, cursing in a language that no one understood.

Overall, a well thought out plan. Had it been preformed on anyone else, he would have been impressed. Seeing as it was him who was the subject of humiliation, he was only annoyed. And angry. Very angry. He didn't want to take another step for fear of tripping again, but he also didn't want to be standing frozen in the middle of the hall when the classes let out.

One good thing about this situation; he could let loose as many curse words as he wanted because no one would know what he was saying. And that is exactly what he did, while feeling his way towards the wall so he could have something to guide him. He was about to start walking when a sudden realization made him freeze, then let loose in another torrent of Amestrian curses, with a few Xingese ones thrown in for good measure.

He had completely forgotten about the moving staircases, along with all the other death traps that the damn castle had to offer. He couldn't walk around blindly without a high risk of death or maiming. Ed growled in frustration. He was considering trying to walk anyway, when he heard a voice that seemed to be coming from–above him? He wasn't sure what the voice was saying, but considering it's tone Ed figured that it was probably something about his height.

He whipped his head around, trying to figure out where the hell the voice was coming from, but it was moving all over the place. He felt something jerk on his braid, and he whirled around, hands up, but only heard mocking laughter. He heard several voices approaching from the opposite end of the hall, and he wasn't sure wether to be relieved or annoyed. After all, these new arrivals might just make matters worse.

He heard an exclamation of surprise, followed by someone speaking in an authoritative tone. To his relief, he recognized the voice of the brown-haired Gryffindor from his third-year class. She had seemed like a smart girl, so maybe she knew the counter to whatever spell had been used on him. He tried to pay attention to what they were saying, though he had no idea what any of it meant; then he realized that they were asking him something.

"I can't understand you," he growled in frustration. He heard an 'Oh!' Of understanding from the brunette, followed by the swish of a wand and some nonsense phrase.

"There, is that better, Professor Elric?" He heard. "Just nod your head if it worked." When Ed nodded, she sighed with relief. "Oh thank goodness. I only know the basics of translation spells, so I was only able to preform it one way. At least you can understand what we're saying now. Sorry about Peeves, by the way."

"How do you even know the basics, Hermione?" He heard one of the boys ask incredulously.

"Well, I picked up a book from the library for some-"

"Let me guess, 'some light reading'?" Came the second voice sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah whatever." Ed said impatiently. "Can you fix my eyes?" He gestured to his eyes so she would understand. He wanted to ask who the hell Peeves was, but he had more pressing issues as of now.

"Oh, you must have gotten hit by a temporary blinding charm. Actually, blinding charms are a bit trickier. See, if I preform the counter-spell for the wrong one, I could end up damaging your eyes. It probably wouldn't be anything too permanent, but-"

"Whoah whoah whoah, stop! Dom't try anything!" Ed held up his hands in front of him to shield away any eye-harming spells, hoping that she got the message.

"Alright, I won't do anything. But we'd better take you to Madame Pomfrey, I'm sure she'll know what to do."

"I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anyone firing potentially blinding spells into my eyes either," another of the boys said.

"Alright, how should we do this…someone's got to guide him, I suppose, so he doesn't hit anything dangerous-" Hermione was cut off by one of the boys.

"I suppose you want that job, right Hermione?"

Ed heard a thwack followed by a lofty, "I don't know you're talking about, Ronald. Now, Percy and Nico, you each take one of his arms, and we'll go to the hospital wing. Make sure to tell him where the false steps are."

Ed heard an 'Ok' from a new voice, followed by a less-than-enthusiastic grunt from the second boy. 'Uh-oh.' Any second now one of them was going to take his right arm, and Ed was willing to bet that they would notice that it wasn't normal. After all, it isn't easy to miss the feeling of a metal arm. But before he could protest, he felt the two boys grab hold of his arms.

He immediately felt the boy on the right stiffen slightly, and felt him apply more pressure to his arm, as if to assure himself of what he was feeling. Ed waited, but the boy didn't say anything. Ed was grateful for that at least. Then Hermione was taking charge and directing them all to the hospital wing.

It was an interesting journey, filled with many 'accidental' stumbles, quite a few being caused by his two guides; who obviously didn't know their way around very well (or they were running him into walls on purpose, as Ed theorized); several 'accidental' kicks being shared between Ed and his two guides, and a plethora of curses from Ed. They passed plenty of students along the way, most of which snickered as they passed. Ed knew that the story would be passed around the whole school by dinner.

Finally, mercifully, they reached the hospital wing. He heard Madame Pomfrey cry out in dismay "What have you done now?!" But then she began scolding and asking questions at a gradually increasing rate until Hermione's weak translation spell couldn't keep up, and eventually the only thing Ed received was a garbled mix of understandable words.

He felt a cooling sensation on his eyes, blinked a few times, and found that his sight had returned. "There we are, that should do it," Madame Pomfrey announced in satisfaction. Ed looked around, relishing his recovered sight, and saw that there were six young wizards in the room, presumably the ones who had helped him. He recognized all of them from his alchemy class; one of them was the one who had taken chemistry.

With a start, Ed realized that he looked an awful lot like the boy he was standing next to. They had the same messy black hair, green eyes, and small frame; though one was more scrawny while the other Ed guessed to be more muscular. Other than that, the only difference was that the scrawny boy had an odd scar on his forehead. One of the six, a deathly pale boy with starkly contrasting black hair, was looking at Ed with a strange look in his eyes, and Ed guessed that he was the one who had held his right arm.

Madame Pomfrey turned to the students. "One of you needs to go find a teacher to preform the translation spell." She said.

"We'll do it!" The pale boy volunteered. Grabbing the black haired girl and scarless boy, he practically dragged them to the door. "C'mon, we need to practice finding our way around without help."

From the look in his eyes, Ed guessed that the real reason he had grabbed them was far different. 'Great,' He thought. 'It's not like my automail is a huge secret, but I don't want everyone knowing about it either. It would lead to way too many unwanted questions; that's the real problem. Not to mention these wizards don't seem to be familiar with automail, and they would probably freak out. I definitely don't need to add 'missing half of his limbs' to the list of everything weird about me. It's better if no one knows.'

Ed was interrupted from his speculations when the three black-haired students returned, with McGonagall in tow.

"Mission accomplished!" The scarless boy announced triumphantly. "One professor, as requested" He stepped to the side and bowed slightly, flourishing his hand in McGonagall's direction.

McGonagall stepped past him, unimpressed. "I do apologize for trouble, Mr. Elric," she said. "I'm sure that not having magic is going to be very troublesome; and I am not pleased to say that some of our students will indeed take advantage of that." She waved her wand at him, then placed it back in her robes before turning to the six wizards. "Thank you for notifying me. I will be going now; I have another class to teach." She gave a slight smile and nod to Madame Pomfrey before sweeping out of the room.

Ed turned to his helpers. "Thank you for your assistance," he said. "If you need help with anything, let me know and I'll do what I can to repay you."

"Equivalent exchange?" The scarless boy asked with a slight smirk.

Ed gave him a smirk of his own. "Correct. I see you were paying attention in class."

"So would it be equivalent for you to give us a hint about the riddle?" The boy asked slyly.

Ed grinned inwardly. This kid was catching on quick. He liked it. "I've already given you more advantages than I had. Help me with one more thing and I will tell you something."

The red-headed boy stepped forward eagerly. "What do you need?"

"Well first of all, I need your names. I am your teacher after all." He frowned at the red-head. "Do you have twin brothers?" He asked suspiciously.

He nodded. "Fred and George. They're fifth years."

"I knew it!" Ed muttered. As the six hurried to introduce themselves, he filed their names away in his memory; Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, and Thalia-no last name given. "Now, If I provide you with an Amestrian dictionary, would you be able to translate it with…magic…and make an English-Amestrian dictionary?"

Hermione nodded hesitantly. "I think I would, though it might take a few days."

Ed nodded. "I'll get it to you within the week." He headed out the door. Before stepping into the hallway, he looked back over his shoulder and said, "here is your hint. Transmutation circles. That is all." Ed strode down the hallway in the direction of his office.

That evening in his sleeping quarters, Ed finished a letter to Al. In it his brother (in code; he didn't know who could be reading his mail) of all the crazy and unbelievable things that the magical world displayed, and about his classes. He had also requested that Al send him the largest dictionary he could find, as well as a picture of home to be used as an entrance. He was already getting fed up with Peacock Lady's snide remarks whenever he entered or exited.

Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure what Al would send him. He'd said 'send me a nice picture of home' but what would 'home' be? Resembol, maybe? They hadn't lived there in years, so did it still qualify as home? Would he send him one of the pictures of them as kids? Ed lay in bed wondering about all the possibilities until he eventually drifted off to sleep.

A/N-Thank you to the couple of people who left a review! You have no idea how inspiring it is to see anything encouraging, even if it's only one sentence. Once again, thanks so much for reading and please review to let me know of any typos or spelling errors!