So u guys totally rok!!1!!1 tks for all ur reviews! OMg u are liket he best! All the ppl r still stephanies!1!!
BPOV
--Still at the Cullen's--
"Well, I guess since my Eddikins has left and I'm now becoming a vampire, I have some time to play with my baby. Where is he anyway?"
Suddenly Alice came flying into my room, some sort of tattered rag flapping from her body. She shrieked, "Your stupid baby destroyed my coat, my brand new Dior coat!!"
"Alice, don't you have about 7 brand new coats?"
This seemed to infuriate her. "That's beside the point! Your baby is eating outerwear!"
"Better than underwear," I mumbled under my breath. I sighed. I guess the baby has some coat stand in him after all. No wonder he always had such nice straight posture. I glanced over at my baby, which Alice had deposited on my bed. Maybe its time to name him. Hmm…I guess I'll have to come up with something. But what was that in his hand?
"What is my baby holding? It looks like a… fuzzy slipper."
Alice tore her morose gaze away from her coat to glance at the baby. "Oh, that's just a squirrel."
"A squirrel?!"
"Yes, it seems that he not only has a taste for couture cotton, but fur as well."
"You are letting my baby hunt?!"
"Sure, he's quite good too. You should see him crawling 30 miles an hour toward a bunny. It's cute. But I'm heading out now. I simply must buy a new coat."
Alice skipped out the door leaving me with a baby and a dead rodent.
Just after Alice left Jasper came slinking into the room, looking more cheerful than he had in quite awhile. He looked shiftily around the room. "Is she gone?"
"You'll have to be more specific than that Jasper."
"Alice! Did she leave?"
"Yes, you just missed her. I'm sure if you call loud enough she'll hear you."
He suddenly looked panicked. "No, no. Be quiet! I'm here for you! Now that Edward is gone we can explore the deep and profound relationship that we have even though we only speak on rare occasions in large groups since I'm still slightly afraid that I'll kill you."
This was the best news that I've heard all day. "That sounds perfect!" I took a moment to put the baby on the floor so he wouldn't get in the way and slithered sexily toward my new lover.
--30 lemons later--
"Whew, Jasper! That was the best vamp love I've had in a long time! But are you sure that Alice won't try to maim me once she finds out?"
"Oh no, I wouldn't worry about that. Even though we were soul mates in every sense of the word, deep down she is actually in love with someone else."
"Well, alright if you say so. Now lets try that again, but this time let's listen to some super angsty music to get us in the mood."
--25 more angsty but explicit lemons--
Despite being totally engrossed with rolling around with Jasper I started to feel funny. "Honeybunch?"
He gazed down at me with his glittering red eyes (They were red now because I let him take a little taste from me since I knew that he loved me so much he could never hurt me.) "Yes Bella Boo?"
"I don't feel quite right."
"No worries darling. You're just becoming a vampire now. It should only take a few minutes."
I was confused. "I thought that the transformation takes days."
"But since you are so special, it will happen almost instantly once it starts."
"Oh, ok. Sweet."
Jasper glanced at his watch. "I'm going to hunt quick, and then explain to Alice that I'm not her husband anymore, and then I'll be right back, ok?"
"Sounds good babycakes. I'll wait here." Jasper leaped off the bed and ran off, leaving me with my thoughts. Unfortunately, there was no more time to think since I started to be consumed with burning. Oh, crap. Here we go.
I screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and writhed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and writhed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and writhed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and writhed and screamed for what I found out after my transformation was complete was for five weeks straight.
Jasper was at my side when I stopped yelling. I looked at him accusatorily. "I thought you said that my change would happen instantaneously."
"Well, I thought it would but Carlisle explained that since you were developing so many super powers it took longer than we thought."
"Super powers? Like the X-men?"
He just shrugged. "We're not sure yet. We'll have to test them out. That's why we're taking you to superhero boot camp."
"That should be fun. When do we leave?"
"Pretty soon. But first you really need to look at yourself in the mirror. You are now totally hot!!"
I jumped off the bed and did quick improvisation of Swan Lake on my way to the mirror, because I wasn't clumsy anymore and could now do ballet flawlessly.
I waltzed the rest of the way to the mirror and pirouetted to a stop in front of it. My jaw dropped at the reflection. "O….M….G…. Who is that?!"
The person staring back at me was now closer to 5'10" with legs for days. Her hair was a beautiful reddish-brown and gently waved down to her waist. Her boobs seemed to be significantly larger than my own and much more perky. Her facial features were perfect, right down to the pouty plush lips. But most shocking were the gleaming topaz eyes.
This couldn't be me! But what about those eyes! "Hey! I thought I was supposed to be all human crazed or something. Why aren't my eyes red?"
Carlisle stood up from the couch he wasn't just occupying. "Oooh, super power number one! No blood lust."
"Well that's lame. I was hoping for something a little more original like x-ray vision."
"Just be patient Bella. We'll figure out your powers in no time."
Looking around the room at Jasper and Carlisle I realized that I would rather just figure out my powers here rather than be shipped off to camp. "You know guys, I would rather just figure out my powers here rather than be shipped off to camp. Besides, Jasper is here and that is where I want to be."
Jasper was standing next to me beaming. "That sounds perfect sexy momma! Let's get started!"
--Out in the yard--
Rosalie walked over to me and draped her arm around my shoulder. "Just concentrate."
"Wait, you're nice again?"
"Sure, you're a vampire now so it doesn't matter. And besides, I'm still prettier than you."
"Um, thanks." Jasper brushed Rosalie out of the way. "Focus Bella Baby. Just think of something that makes you want to use super powers and yell it out."
I stepped back a few paces, took a deep breath, and yelled the first thing that came to mind. "Care Bare stare!" Nothing happened.
Jasper was trying to hide his smirk. "Ok, that was an interesting choice. Try again."
"It's clobberin' time!" Still nothing.
"Not quite darling. Try something more unique."
"UP, UP AND AWAY!"
"TURTLE POWER!"
"AUTOBOTS ASSEMBLE!"
Jasper was trying to interrupt my shrieking. "No schnookums, you're not getting it."
I took one more deep breath and yelled at the top of my lungs, ""LEEROY JENKINS!"
This seemed to confuse most everybody even more. Jasper looked at me with a perplexed expression. "What is Leeroy Jenkins?
Carlisle answered before I had the chance. "You see, Leeroy Jenkins is an internet phenomenon named for a character created by player Ben Schultz in the popular game World of Warcraft. This character has become popular thanks to…"
"Shut up Carlisle! The real question is why don't I have any powers?!"
Jasper shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Ok, I have to explain the WoW reference. I have a friend who played that game continuously. There was some you tube spoof that came out a few years ago featuring Leeroy, and he told me that it was the single most profound, soon to be widespread battle cry known to man. It showed up as a Jeopardy question and then later as a Toyota truck commercial, both of which made my friend feel vindicated in his claim. Needless to say, I called him a huge nerd, but I put it in here for him.
Also I need recommendations for Bella's baby's name. I was going to create a poll, but I couldn't think of enough funny names to make a list. Let me know what you think either by review or PM.
Thanks!
-kc
