Hi!
Firstly - A million thanks to MKT3 for all the brilliant American knowledge - football and otherwise - I am forever grateful! This chap would not be here without you
Massive thanks as ever to Momma Bear, commiserations on no Hugh for Christmas, why he insists on hiding, I'll never know.
And also huge thanks to Lharcom and Jewels, both, for your work and lovely words!
As ever - cheers to Norforruin for validation beta work :)
I don't own SM's stuff, but she doesn't own mine either!
Chapter 7
What the..? Why can't I move my legs? I opened my eyes and I was lying right on the edge of my bed, my arm tucked underneath my stomach. Why would I be here and not curled up in the middle of my bed like normal? I turned my head toward the centre of the bed. Oh, that's why. Em was right beside me, performing his usual downward starfish, taking up the majority of my bed, relegating me to the very edge. His head was turned toward me, and while I was thankful he wasn't snoring like a beast, I was horrified to see drool making its way from his cheek to my pillow. Feral, I was definitely going to have to change that pillowcase before tonight.
I tried again to move my legs, but they were bound tight. Seems the sheet had gotten all the way under my legs and was caught around Em's foot. Annoying, but not entirely unexpected - we both kicked like mother truckers in our sleep; it wasn't unusual for us to wake up with bruises. Some unintentional... others from retaliation.
It was about time to get up anyway, so I decided to rouse the ogre. I reached over to shake the arm next to me. He fidgeted a little, but didn't wake up. I moved my grip to his shoulder and shook harder.
"Come on, Plugger, move!" I groaned.
His face screwed up and he started blindly fighting me off with the one hand.
"Bloody hell, Bella, go back to your own bed."
His meat hook of a hand found purchase on my shoulder and he gave a good shove. I squawked as my top half fell out of bed and I miraculously moved my hand from beneath my stomach quickly enough to catch myself, before I was completely brained by the drawer handle on my bedside table.
"You're in my bed, you retard! Now kick the sheets a bit, we're all tangled!"
He registered my words with a grunt and gave his legs a bit of a shake, loosening the sheet enough that my legs followed the rest of my body off the side of my bed. I landed with a thud, right on my hip. I groaned and rolled onto my stomach, thankful my body was now all safely on the one horizontal plane.
"Whaddaya doin' down there?" His boof head was hanging over the edge of the bed, laughing at me.
I glared at him.
"Uninvited. Get ya hairy arse out of my bed." I collected my limbs together and started to get up.
"Don't think I was invited in the first place."
"True. Rude. Get out." He chuckled and started to get up.
"I think I like your bed better. I may invade more often."
"Not a chance-"
There was a knock at my door, and before I even had a chance to answer, Em's shrill imitation of my voice called, "Come in!"
A confused Chuck stuck his head in.
"Emmett, did you spend the whole night here?" He was peering down at Emmett, who was back to being sprawled all over my bed like he friggin' owned it.
"Yep!"
"Why..?"
"Plotting went late and I fell asleep. We're gonna take over the world by stealth using a combination of Harry Potter, Driza-Bone's and schnitzel. Not sure exactly how yet... I reckon we've got the elements right, but." He winked at our Uncle. "Don't worry Chuck, no funny bizniss..." He finished off like M.I.A.
"Right. Well, I think I need caffeine before I speak to you again today." Bewildered, Chuck started to leave, but turned his head back. "You have a room. Use it."
When he had left, I turned back to Emmett, hands up in supplication.
"Do you have this shit stored up?"
"Nuh! It just comes to me - I'm a genius!" He jumped up and all of the sudden I was whacked over the head with a pillow, my sarcastic snort literally smacked from my face. "You're not usually this slow in the mornings."
"You're particularly annoying this morning. You've had too many hours at rest; go run somewhere." I shoved him out of my room, fending off blows from the pillow and yanking it out of his hands just as I slammed the door. I slumped against it, getting my breath back. God, I only just woke up and I wanted to go back to bed.
The morning was fairly normal from there on in. Romeo moped over his expulsion from Verona, I gave myself a headache ploughing my way through algebra, finished up the prac write-up with Ange in chem and sat next to a covertly misbehaving Jasper in French. The only odd thing that morning was Jess; she was silent in French.
About ten minutes into the class I was really starting to get worried about her. She caught me looking at her and I smiled. She smiled back tentatively and went back to her work. Bizarre. It didn't take a genius to figure out it had something to do with yesterday's shit-storm, but I wasn't sure what exactly was going on. Maybe she got an edict from Lauren to not talk to me. That'd suck. Jess was a bit ditzy, but she was a card. She was genuinely nice and fairly entertaining.
Lunch that day saw the tables once again decidedly divided, back to their original occupants, with one exception: Ben had joined our table, and was sitting next to Angela.
"Geez, Harvs, I think you actually scared her," I said, quickly looking over to Lauren and the separate table.
"Good," he retorted, full of attitude, but then looked up at me and grinned.
"That's because he was scary. You should have seen him in media. I can't believe she actually said anything after the way you looked in class. Remind me never to piss you off," Alice said, leaning away from Emmett.
"Don't worry, chicken, I don't hit girls."
"You hit me!" I exclaimed at his blatant falsehood.
"Someone has to keep you in line. Unruly heathen." He winked at me.
"Whateva."
"Seriously guys, what is it with the two of you and calling me chicken? What is that?" Alice's imploring look was divided between the two of us, sitting on either side of her.
"Naww," Emmett cooed, "would you prefer ducky?"
"Galah?" I offered.
"Parrot?"
"My little lorikeet?"
"Kookaburra?"
"Emu?"
"Nah, not tall enough. Jabiru?"
"And who have you ever called jabiru?" I asked with a scoff.
"No one, but I've never met anyone who jabbers the way this one does."
"Fair call." I shrugged.
"What? I still don't understand! Why birds? Those were all birds, right?" Alice was getting indignant between us, flipping her head from side to side with each comment as we sat, relaxed as, bantering back and forth, not looking directly at her.
"What, you want a farm animal?" Em suggested.
"Cow," I dead-panned.
"Nannygoat." That got chuckles from the table, but we kept our faces straight.
"Piglet."
"Lamblet?" Emmett pouted to a now pouting Alice.
"Sheep." I nodded.
"I do not follow the crowd!" She rounded on me.
"And she's not from New Zealand," Em stated. I snorted at that, and broke out of our attack.
"Maybe she's a fox!" I rounded my shoulders as I emphasised the word.
"Damn straight," Em agreed.
"What? Why? I'm not sneaky!"
"Not that way - you're a foxy lady!" Em was wiggling his eyebrows at her and she just turned to me with hers furrowed, asking me to explain further.
"Means you're sexy," I responded with a wink.
Alice looked slighted mollified as we laughed and got up from the table.
The boys had other ideas for lunch today. Edward got a brown footy with pointed ends out of his bag.
"Think quick!"
With a flick of his wrist, he threw the ball to a surprised Emmett.
"And what am I supposed to be doing with this?"
"Ya chuck it, but for some reason it's called a football," I snarked.
"Hey! If you can't respect it, you sit it out," Jasper scolded, looking over his left shoulder and pointing at me. I half expected him to have his other hand on his hip and finish with an "mmmhmm."
"Relax, Yass, I'm just havin' a dig," I said, grabbing his finger and giving it a light shake.
"Yass?" he asked, finger still hovering in the air after I had released it.
Whoops! I had been thinking it for most of this week, but hadn't planned on putting out into the universe yet.
"Uh, yeah... It's just using the soft pronunciation for J - Yasper," I said, ending his name with a French 'r' roll. "Then just shortened to Yass." Everyone was looking at me like I was nuts - except Emmett. He thought for a second, and then nodded his head once, while raising the footy in his hand a bit, like in a greeting.
"Yassou," he said with the nod.
"Yassou!" I cheerily replied. I turned to the even more bewildered Jasper. "Well, say hello! It's rude to look like a stunned mullet when someone greets you."
"I really have no idea what you're talking about."
"It's just hello in Greek, mate. Now, what'm I doin' here, fellas?"
We spent the next fifteen minutes trying out different passes. For me it was an absolute and utter fail. I couldn't quite get enough of a grip on the ball with a single hand to throw it properly. Even when I could grip it, the forward throwing motion with the twist of the arm was something my arm and wrist refused to coordinate. The flick behind pass I had a little more success with because I had two hands - but then there were double the coordination issues.
Edward was patient with me and kept trying to determine where I was going wrong and rectify it, whereas Jasper thought it was hilarious every time the ball wobbled feebly out of my hands.
"Yeah, laugh it up, Yass. I saw your crap excuse for a handball yesterday. Wait 'til we teach you how to bounce."
He wasn't at all fazed by my outburst, he just laughed harder. Miffed, I turned to watch Emmett throw a perfect spear pass. Bugger was a natural, of course. He was a super-freak when it came to sports; he could grasp skills so quickly it was sickening. I liked to think of him as some sports hippy nut-case, communing with the sports equipment, meditating with it so that it was eventually just an extension of his body. Yeah, maybe I'm a little sleep deprived.
"OK, I wanna try something." Edward had caught the ball and was now walking towards Emmett. He got a little contraption out of his pocket, put it on the ground and set the ball upon it. He stood up and turned to Em.
"OK. Kick it as hard and straight, in that direction, as you can," he said, indicating the grassy area that led to the woods.
Em just stood there, looking at the ball for a sec. Then he did the most bizarre, exotic bird mating dance thing I had ever seen. He looked at the ball, then up to where he wanted to kick it, and then back down to the ball, back up, down to the ball, walked towards the ball, and stopped. Then he changed direction and performed the ritual from two different angles. This was why he was immediately good at sports.
We all stood there watching him go through the motions, deciding the best way to go about it. He finally took a few steps back, took a breath, and set his shoulders. He took a small run-up and booted the crap out of the ball. It flew. It spun beautifully, end over end in a gorgeous arc, smack bang in the direction Edward had pointed.
"Holy shit," Jasper drawled though his half-grin.
"This is perfect," Edward said in an aside to Jasper, gave him a light punch in the arms and ran off in the direction of the ball. When he returned, he put the ball straight back on the little stand. "Think you can do it again?"
"Only one way to find out, I s'pose." He shrugged and watched Edward set up the ball again.
"He really needs to be on the team," Rosalie said quietly, not taking her eyes off the scene in front of us.
"You reckon? Haven't they already started the season? Is there room in the team for him?" Ok, so it seems that when I'm surprised I can rail off questions to give even Jess a run for her money.
"Absolutely. We need a decent kicker. We haven't had one since Joel graduated two years ago."
Emmett lined the kick up, taking his time in the decision-making again and sent the ball sailing in a very similar direction to the previous kick. The boys were beside themselves, getting Em to kick in numerous directions for the remainder of the lunch session.
By the end of lunch it was settled; we were going to watch the game this Friday night and Em was going to training, or 'practice' as they were always referring to it, beginning next week.
I sat through biol, working through the class assignment basically by myself as Edward was entirely distracted with football, and the new 'depth' Em's presence would give to the team, if he joined. I tried to keep up with both Edward and the class assignment, but one was certainly easier than the other. The assignment was fairly straight-forward, and luckily for Master Cullen, easy enough for me to do without help.
Edward, on the other hand, was muttering half sentences and asking me half-questions about Emmett's 'range and angle', which I had no answers for because I had no clue, and honestly thought it sounded down-right dirty.
Half way through the class, he had still not made a single effort with our class-work.
"Yep. No worries, Cullo, I got this," I said to the side of his head while he was busily scribbling out a play diagram.
"Oh yeah, thanks, Bella," was the distracted response I received. I shook my head and resumed my work. Yep, he and Em would be great mates.
PE was annoyingly docile for the fact that I was looking forward to a good run, having not done much of anything at lunch. I was surprised to find no Emmett when I got to my locker at the end of the day, so I got my crap together and went on a mission to find him. Easily enough, I found him at his locker chatting flat stick with Edward and Yass.
I waited for a few minutes, but when the galah session didn't look like it was going to ease, I piped up.
"Hey, Rocca, you want me to go ahead or wait for you?" Emmett's body went completely stiff and he turned his head slowly, a death glare I wasn't completely surprised to find well in place.
"What did you call me?"
"Keep ya knickers on. You know Sav left the AFL to become a kicker for the Eagles over there. It was a compliment." I smirked, knowing it was only half a compliment.
"You couldn't have gone for Benny Graham?" Ah yes, the Cat, who was now a Cardinal.
"You're built more like Rocca," I blurted before thinking. Em's face darkened further. "Shit! Laters!" I slapped Jasper on the shoulder and bolted out of the building.
I giggled to myself as I jogged out of the school grounds. I was in trouble now. Saverio Rocca was built like a brick shit-house and was one of the ugliest players in the AFL. Em had always been fairly tall, he had been six foot by the time he was fifteen, but in the last eighteen months he had started to seriously fill out.
Sure, I called him fatty all the time, but it was clearly an ironic nick-name, kind of like the old guys around the farms calling our stick-thin grandfather 'barrel'. Emmett had outgrown the neck and chest of his tops because of muscle mass, not lipid accumulation. He would go to the gym a couple of times a week with footy training and effortlessly packed on the muscle like it was going out of fashion; much to the displeasure of Damo and Aidey, who went to the gym twice as often, even drinking those feral protein shakes, and yet remained half the size of Em.
He was definitely uncomfortable with how big he had gotten in such a small amount of time, but he could see how the girls reacted to him. He was a mix of outward confidence and quiet self-consciousness. Being the good sister I am, I would take his weakness and mess with it.
Even though I had just run home, I thought it would probs be best if I was out when Em got home, and come back later when I had the cover of Chuck. I got into my running gear, grabbed the headphones for Dad's iPhone, and bolted from the house, down the path that led along the side of the woods.
I soon forgot I was running from Emmett as I listened to Dad's running playlist. It was full of great music that was surprisingly good to run to, from Gene Pitney, Roy Orbison and Dean Martin to Something for Kate and Powderfinger, with some surprises like a few Britney tracks and the recent addition of Passion Pit.
God, I missed him, especially at times like this. He was always one to stir the pot. He would tease Mum until she went spare at him. I think half the reason he did it was just so he could cuddle and comfort her afterwards. Nutter.
I got back to the house to find the front door locked. I lifted up onto my toes to reach up to the eave to get the spare key. Seriously, for a Top Cop, Chuck was one relaxed mother about his home security. Suppose you'd have to be off your trolley to rob the Top Cop, though.
Hmm, no key.
I used one hand to steady myself on the wall as I did a crab shuffle to feel the entire eave, my hand only finding wood and air.
"Shit," I muttered, looking on the decking for the key in case it had dropped. Nada.
I knocked on the door. Nothing. Did Em go out? I knocked harder and called out for him, and kept it up until I was certain he would hear me, even if he was down in the basement.
Eventually he opened the front door.
"What?" He made no move to unlock the screen door.
"I can't find the spare key."
"Unfortunate."
"Did you put it back on the eave?"
"Nope, I brought it in." Oh shit.
"Ah, why?"
"So you couldn't use it." Yeah, I was in trouble.
"Come on, Sav, that's not necessary."
"You're not helping yourself." He scowled at me and shut the door.
I decided to wait out my punishment and sat on the seat under the window. I didn't last very long as I was in sweaty, light-weight running clothes. Not ten minutes later, I was banging on the door again.
"What?" he answered, all mad, like I was annoying him.
"Come on, ya dumb shit, it's cold out here!"
"Then stop making me open the door, I'm losing all the heat!" He slammed the door in my face again.
"EMMETT! Lemme in, ya-" I caught myself before I let fly where all the neighbours could hear me. Hang on a sec... the neighbours can hear me. I smiled and walked slowly to the edge of the porch and jumped off in front of Toula, giving her hood a tap with my hands - da-dum-bump.
I had embarrassed Em today and now he was trying to goad me into losing my temper and embarrassing myself. Well, I would do one better than that and play the game my way; I shook my body out, channelling my camp Guy Pearce. I knew Em wouldn't be far away; he was punishing me for fun, he wasn't pissed enough to just wait in out in his room. I brought forward my best Ocker.
"Oi don't care if the sun don' shoine,
Oi get moi luvin' in the evenin' toime,
When Oi'm wiiith moi baybee!"
I ran and skipped around Toula, singing at the top of my lungs and giving her roof, windows and hood very generous slaps.
"It's no fun with the sun arownd,
But Oi get gowin' when the sun goes down,
And Oi meeet moi baybeee!"
I saw the porch light of our neighbours across the road turn on and a lady appear out of her door, checking what the commotion was. I thought I saw Em's silhouette at the side of the window for a sec, so I kept on, upping my Toula interaction, to make sure he couldn't ignore me. I was already embarrassing myself in front of what was now several neighbours, so I decided to throw in some dance moves as well, fairly sure Em was watching.
"That's when we kiss and kiss and kiss,
And then we kiss some mawwww"
Surely this couldn't go on much longer, come on!
The door opened and I could hear Em cacking himself, so I ran up there and sang and danced in front of the screen door, banging on it and the weatherboards in Toula's absence.
"Don't ask haw maneee toimes we kissed,
'Cos at a toime loike this-"
He flicked the snib and opened the door.
"Get in, ya psycho, before someone calls Chuck," he said in amongst his laughter. His sentence was barely out before I yanked the door out of his grip and dashed inside, past him and up the stairs.
"It's bloody cold out there, ya bitch!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs and straight into the bathroom for a nice hot shower.
Throughout the night, Em would start humming "I don't care if the sun don't shine" and I couldn't help but start to giggle.
"Care to let me in on the joke, guys?" Chuck reluctantly took his gaze from the baseball to look at Em working at the coffee table.
"Bella treated the neighbours to a bit of a song and dance this arvo. Bit of cabaret, hey Bells?"
"What? Bella?"
"I was cold." I shrugged. "Em locked me out." Deal with that, sucker.
"She called me fat."
"Sticks and stones, Princess."
"Christ, you two. Can't you be nice to each other for more than a few hours at a time?"
"So much easier said than done, Chuck," Em sighed.
"Dad called it character-building," I offered.
"Sounds like an excuse to let the two of you to act like hooligans," Chuck grumbled.
Em grinned a big cheesy. "Oh Chuck, you ain't seen nuthin' yet."
Friday classes were a blur of concentration, assignments and confusion; the latter being due to the excited and incessant chatter about the endless possibilities of Em joining the Spartans. I was happy that they were so excited about the prospect of Em joining the team; I just wished that I could join in the conversations and get more caught up in the excitement.
The confusion came when trying to get straight the position and play names. Any fool knew the quarterback threw the ball, but really, a quarter? That kind of seemed a specific fraction. The wide receivers seemed kind of self-explanatory, and while I was pretty sure that the half-backs and full-backs were not exactly the same as in AFL, I presumed they would pretty much also follow their position descriptions. But I would be buggered if I could think of what a tight-end was - it just sounded... uncomfortable.
Through lunch the boys talked tactics about the best way to approach Coach Clapp about Em's late inclusion into the team. They didn't really think they'd run into any trouble, they just wanted to be prepared in case Tyler decided to "put his second left foot down," and make trouble for them about his usual position.
It was an away game this week, but only twenty minutes away, so we decided to follow Alice and Rose there. Angela couldn't make it this week; if she babysat her brothers this Friday, then she was free to come to the home game and party next week.
Alice's car was very Alice. It was an old, faded buttercup yellow VW Beetle, very well maintained with cute, cream leather interior.
"Ooooh! Someone's a speed demon! Man, if Chuck catches me speeding, she can take the rap. Chook can use her pixie charm on him," Em grouched.
"You gunna make Chook charm Chuck? Can she sell sea shells by the sea shore?"
"Only if she chops wood-chips like the wood-chopper chops." he grinned back at me.
"I think we need to start seeing other people," I said with a roll of my eyes. "You excited about the match?"
"Yeah, should be good. Be nice to see some live-action sport again. I'm worried I'm gunna leave a permanent arse-print on that couch." There were a few minutes of silence before Em spoke up again. "I've been meaning to ask you - how have your dreams been the last couple of nights?"
"Nights are fine, it's the mornings that get me. But yeah, nah, fine enough. Nuthin' when you were there and just the usual this morning." I shrugged. The dream didn't appear when Em was there, but I would be buggered if I was going to share a bed with Em for the next however-long until the dreams went away.
He grimaced at me, not liking my answer, but left it alone.
We pulled up to a football field next to a school and parked. The place was packed.
"Geez, these guys really like their high school sport," I observed.
We got out of the car, met up with the girls and went up to the stands and found ourselves a seat. Looking around, there was some serious team spirit happening, and not just from the cheerleaders or the home team. Everyone was wearing the colours of their respective teams, some people even going to the extent of painting their faces and some friggin' nutters that were running around shirtless, their chests all painted. Em pretended to cover my eyes and cacked himself when I smacked a jab into his ribs.
"Cripes," Emmett breathed, "That is a big, fuck-off crowd. You barely get this sort of enthusiasm for an AFL match."
Lauren, Jess and crew ran out and started chanting cheerily, jumping, doing splits and all sorts of hand movements. Holy mac their skirts were short. I pulled an Em and covered his eyes when he was staring, slack-jawed. We both cracked up when he copied my previous actions. It was just nuts, there was absolutely nothing like that at home - we were luvin' it!
The cheers that rang out when the teams emerged from the change rooms were huge; you couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement. The Spartans had their white and gold uniform and looked pretty schmick, the boys all running out with their helmets in their hands. I quickly spotted the mess of blond hair I couldn't help but admit to myself, that I was here to see. There was, as usual, an insane amount of players per team, but not quite as many as I saw on TV. I was surprised that there were actually enough guys of playing age at the school.
The boys all jammed their helmets on their head and listened in for their pep-talk before making a masculine growly-cheer, smacking each other's helmets and dissipating.
The game was pretty rough, but I suppose that can't be helped when the object of most of the players on each team is to smash and take out as many players as possible to minimise the number available to actually move the ball. An interesting tid-bit I learnt very early, that I couldn't believe I missed this last fortnight, was that Edward was the team's leading quarterback.
I gave Alice a bit of a ribbing for it, but you could tell by the genuine excitement on her face when she watched him, that this was no star-footy-player crush, she was very taken with him.
"So Cullo throws, as quarterback," I started, "What's Jaspers' position name, when he's the main one Edward's trying to throw to?"
"Well, he's a wide receiver," Rose said, while I nodded. That made sense. "But they're also playing Brett as a tight-end, so he's pretty much playing as a flanker." Why did she have to go and complicate it like that? I was doing so well!
Emmett saw my face fall to a pout at the second piece of information and chuckled, waving a hand that told me he'd explain it later.
I watched the play go back and forth, understanding the general gist of the sport, but not what each player's specific role was. Fairly normal for most of the sports I watched, really.
We ended up winning by two points and our part of the crowd was going nuts; the four of us especially, hooting and shouting our heads off. Elated by the win, we chattered excitedly in the car park as we waited for the guys to get cleaned up before we headed back.
"How 'bout them Spartans?" Emmett called out while we were leaning up against Alice's car. We all turned to see Ben, Edward and Jasper heading into the car park and we all started hooting and clapping again, the boys joining in when they got closer.
"We're heading to the diner for some food. You guys wanna join?" Edward asked us when we were all together.
I looked over at Emmett, but shouldn't have even bothered, because he was already agreeing and heading towards the car.
"I wanna follow someone else, though. I don't wanna have to explain myself to Chuck when he pulls us up for going four times the limit. Don't look at me like that, Chook, you know what you did."
"You are such a baby!" she called to him.
"No, I'm protective of my being able to drive Toula. I'm not as pretty as you; I can't charm my way out of tickets."
"Sure you are, sweetie." She winked at him and ducked into the car, giggling with Rosalie.
"Chuck doesn't seem to think so," he said over the car to me, with a dejected pout. His face morphed into a smirk when I just shook my head at him, and we got into the car.
We followed Edward back to Forks at a much more sedate pace. While I think Em actually preferred Alice's speed, there was no way he was going to give anyone a reason to give Chuck hell about either of us.
We packed into a booth at the diner, with Jasper on a chair at the end. I looked over at Em and was looking around uncomfortably; we always got shoddy looks from the staff at this place, it was unnerving. The boys were 'starving', so we ordered a couple of pizzas and some nachos for the table.
"I want chips," Em announced to the table.
"There are chips in the nachos, isn't that enough?" Rose asked. Not what he meant, but even so: no, that is probably not enough, I thought.
"Hot chips," he clarified. "I haven't had chips in ages!"
"You mean fries," Jasper offered.
"Nah, man. I don't want those skinny things; I want some thick cut chips. Oh man, fish and chips, chips and gravy... what am I gunna do?"
I sighed in longing at the mention of fish and chips, but cringed at the next one. "Yuck, there is nothing more disgusting than chips and gravy."
"Sounds pretty awesome to me," Edward piped up, Ben nodding in agreement. Nutters.
A serve of fries was added to the order.
While we waited for the food, the boys went over the game in detail; the awesome plays, as well as the dirty ones, the ref's mistakes - of which apparently, there were countless - and how all of these plays could be improved, especially when Tyler gave up kicker and went back to his normal position. The conversation continued when the food came, just with less interruptions and talking over the top of one another.
"So, how did you do following the game?" Jasper asked when he reached past me to get a slice of pizza.
"The game itself is easy enough to follow," I replied. "It's just the strategies and play set-ups that I'm not up with yet. And I really don't know why you have to switch teams when you're defending and when you're attacking."
"Because each team is specifically for either the offence of the defence of the ball," he explained.
"We don't have complete offence and defence teams, though. A couple of the guys play both, and we just switch a few guys around."
"Der. But you have those guys that defend next to the centre and all that, why don't they just defend again?"
"Well OK, but there are the receivers and the quarterback that really don't defend and would get hurt if they tried to tackle the way the others do."
"What? But I've seen receivers tackle and defend!" I was starting to get a little confused, because I could swear I had seen that more than once.
"That's the tight-end, he's kind of a special case," he tried to explain. "He can block and receive."
"I'll show you my tight-end," I huffed in exasperation, right when there was a lull in the conversation over the rest of the table. Ben and Edward simultaneously started choking on their food, while Jasper stared at me wide-eyed, and Emmett erupted with laughter. His boom shook the girls and Jasper out of their stupor, and what I said finally caught up with me and I burst out laughing.
"Frickin' awesome!" Emmett wheezed in between his peals of laughter.
"That came out so much worse than I expected!" I gasped, which set us both off again.
"What the hell?" Jasper was dividing his stunned gaze between the two of us as we started to settle down.
"That, my friend, was an 'I'll show you my' and you just got owned by one of the best in the business! The other being myself, of course." Emmett grinned.
"Of course," I muttered in his direction.
"What the hell is an 'I'll show you my?'" Ben asked.
Emmett paused for a second, quite possibly trying to think, as I was.
"It's kind of hard to explain," he offered.
"Is it a kind of come-back?" Alice piped up.
"Not really," I replied. "It kind of just slips into the conversation when the opportunity arises. Usually you don't even realise you're saying it until it's out. Prime example just given." I smirked and shook my head in embarrassment. "But it's usually a conversation stopper."
"No shit." Jas was giving me his arched eyebrow and half-grin. I shrugged.
"Well, on that note, I think it's time for the cheque," Edward kindly noted, and signalled to the waitress.
She brought over the bill and we passed it around, getting our share of cash out of our wallets.
"Em, can you work out the tip?" Jasper asked, whilst digging into his pocket, using his chin to point to the bill that had stopped in front of Emmett.
"Whaddaya mean?" Emmett looked up at him, confused.
"The tip, dude. How much will it be? I gotta make sure I have enough. Peter went through my wallet before I left the house and I'm sure he lifted some cash, the rodent," he said, referring to his brother that I learned through the week was in middle school.
Emmett's eyes grew wide and flew to mine. "Bellaaaa!" he whispered, panic in his eyes.
"Whhhaaaat?" I mimicked him.
"No wonder they friggin' hate us here - we never tip!"
Realisation hit me and my face dropped. Well didn't I feel like shit? I put my hands over my face and breathed a disbelieving laugh.
"Didn't even think of that," I admitted.
"What? How can you guys not think of tipping? How tight are you?" Rosalie asked, with mirth.
"Don't even go there," I cut Em off before he could answer the way he wanted. "There's no tipping at home," I explained.
"Really?"
"Nope. Everything costs as much as it does on the menu, no extra tax and definitely no tip! Shit here is confusing." Emmett shook his head to emphasise his point.
Alice had worked out the tip and we paid and started to leave the diner.
"So why don't you guys tip? That kind of seems shitty," Edward asked.
"It's just not something we do," Em replied.
"I think the minimum wage is different over there, and that makes a difference," Ben offered. We all looked at him.
"I'm not sure how you know that, but it makes sense." Emmett nodded.
"Well there ya go, Harvs, we're gunna have to learn how to tip."
"Well we've got cows down, so cafes should be a breeze." I rolled my eyes while everyone else laughed, and started pushing him toward the car.
"Come on, smartarse, home. I'm tired. See you guys on Monday! Go Spartans!" I called in farewell and received various replies of kind, apart from one that stood out.
"See you soon, Bella!" Alice's voice rang out in the night air.
"That sounded like a promise, Rooey." Emmett said as Toula roared to life.
A smile lit up my face as I realised I really wanted it to be.
Australian Definitions
Feral - used here in place of expressions like 'gross' or 'ew'.
Plugger - Reminder: Ex-AFL player that played for St Kilda and Sydney. Huge.
Boof Head - A boof head is an idiot, here it kind of reads 'his idiot head'.
Driza-Bone - Full-length leather riding coats.
But. - Ending a sentence in but is not an uncommon turn of phrase. Only used in casual speak.
MIA song reference - Paper Planes.
Prac - Short for practical session, a lab.
A Card - Someone you find amusing, slightly eccentric.
Relaxed As - Lol, this one always trips up the betas. The 'as' is just an exaggeration of whatever has come before it, i.e. tired as, hungry as, etc. Not an unfinished comparison :)
Stunned Mullet - Someone who is shocked that looks like a fish out of water, like a stunned mullet.
Flat Stick - Flat out, at pace.
Galah session - term given to the time ladies from around the outback used to chat over the first pedal-powdered radios.
Saverio Rocca and Ben Graham - AFL players that left the Collingwood Magpies and Geelong Cats respectively, either near or at the end of their careers to become punters in the NFL.
Stir the pot - tease
Off your trolley - crazy
I Don't Care if the Sun Don't Shine - Song made popular by Patti Page, featured on The Adventures of Pricilla: Queen of the Desert, sung by Guy Pierce.
Big, Fuck-Off - The 'fuck-off' is a descriptor, again adds emphasis, but itself is not emphasised when used in the sentence.
Schmick - Slick/cool
Cheers, guys! As ever, let me know if you have any questions, queries, comments, whatevs!
'Til next time,
Curious
