This next little chapter actually made me cry. Anyway, thanks for the reviews once again. Hope you enjoy this heart-wrenching scene I've placed inside.


- The Voice of My Troubled Heart -

- Cruel Remembrance -


I just don't know what to think anymore. Or feel for that matter. A part of me wishes for you to disappear forever, for leaving me. But another part, this small neglected one, wouldn't ask for more but only to have you here with me again. I know I can't reciprocate those feelings that you obviously have, but I do know I want my best friend with me again.


"Where the hell is he?" His words, in a very angry near shout, would have scared off most of the female population. But not his friend. Fluurin only blinked at him, she knew he was all bark and no bite.

"Who?" Batting an eyelid, she drawled out that single word while waving at Greta and Yukio. The two were already aboard the ship, while their father stood beside her. He was practically bristling with annoyance at his 'friend'.

"You know who!"

"No, I don't. And please, if you want something, don't talk in riddles." Letting out a frustrated sigh, he closed his eyes before re-opening them.

"I'm talking about Wolfram von Bielefeld, my supposedly fiancé who disappeared eight years ago. Now, I find him wandering around in your courtyard at night. So Shin-ou help me, someone tell me what is going on? Why is he here? Why now?"

Fluurin watched the children disappeared even deeper into the deck before turning to face the king.

"One, I didn't know Wolfram was here not until you told me." She knew it was a lie but didn't feel it was right to tell the king of it. "Two, when did he suddenly become this 'fiancé'? From what I can recall, you've always denied that." The king flustered but she gave him no chance to explain. "And three, even if I did know that Wolfram was here I wouldn't tell you. You want to know the whole story? Find Wolfram."


"Find Wolfram, she says. And where in Shin-ou's name am I going to find him? Heck, I don't even know where he disappeared to now." His mutterings couldn't be heard by anyone but himself. With his hands over the railings, he glared down at the dark blue water below.

"You won't find him here. He'll most likely went back to the demon country. And if you find him, I sure hope he'll give you a black eye or two."

Frustrated, he shoved his hands into the dark tresses as he hung his head.

Eight years! Eight freaking long years and now, he waltzes back into my life! He should have stayed missing!


Aimlessly he walked down the aisle of the deck, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his uniform. Sunlight of the mid-day gleamed off of darkened golden locks. His eyes concentrated on the planks of the decks. Stopping just slightly, he lifted his head and glanced to his side, his body stayed still in that same position. With a sigh, he turned as he removed his hands from the pockets and hung them over the railings. He gazed at the vast ocean before him, an occasional sea breeze flirting with his hair.

One more day and they'll be back on demon country grounds again. A hand rose to where his heart was, feeling the calm beating. Not a pounding as the previous night but more of a soft thudding. His hand fisted the soft cloth into a bunch for a moment before relaxing his grip. Unable to control himself, his thoughts wandered back to eight years ago. Eight years, on that particular day when he felt he was made a fool. A fool for loving him.


Sky was dark with heavy black clouds as he stood before the full length window, watching. Without warning, tiny drops of rain fell, creating a rather cool atmosphere around. With a sigh, he leaned onto his side against the window frame, hands folded before him. A hand slowly lifted, slightly grazing his uniform before resting upon his hand. The calm beats was really assuring before gradually accelerating. An image of the king appeared in his mind, a soft smile played on his tender lips. A slight flush appeared on his cheeks as he leaned his head against the frame. Golden locks gently slipped forward though they did nothing to hide his features.

Minutes turned to hours as he continued gazing out. With a sigh, he straightened himself before turning to leave.

"Any idea where His Majesty is?" his voice seemed soft and gentle as he queried a soldier passing by. The change in his voice must have caught the soldier by surprise, if there was any indication on the soldier's expression.

"I believe I saw him near the garden, sir." With a nod, he dismissed the soldier without a backward glance. "Sir, you might want to -"

But he was already gone from the soldier's sight. Each step he took seemed to thunder in steps with his heart, the pounding growing by the minute. Upon reaching the entrance to the garden, he couldn't care less for the weather. Golden locks darkened by the water, he lifted a hand in an attempt to increase his vision. There, he could already see the silhouette of the king leaning against a tree. Schooling his expression of his usual scowling self, he made his way towards the dark-haired king with intentions of bring the boy back inside. Inside where it was warm and safe.

"Yuu-" he started to call out though he was still quite far from the king. A streak of lightning appeared in the sky, illuminating the whole entire area. His steps faltered before stopping completely. His heart, previously pounding, now skipped a beat. His breathing faltered as well, his mouth slightly ajar with numbness. He wanted to shut his eyes with such ferocity but found himself unable to. His mind was racing as his hand fell to his side loosely. Every inch of his body, wet with the now ferocious rain, felt cold. But he knew it wasn't the cold from the rain. No, it was something else.

Though his body wouldn't function, his heart still does. It begged for some sort of shield for his now tearing eyes. He hadn't known he was crying, until he felt a shiver down his spine and he struggled to breathe. The voice of his heart, though only he could hear, was loud in his ears.

'Please, no more.'


A drop of water fell onto the back of his hand, bringing him out of his thoughts. He glanced up at the strangely clear sky, wondering where the drop had come from. He blinked once and then once more. Couple more drops fell, and it was only then he realized where they came from.

He hadn't realize he was crying. Silently and gracefully, he used a couple of his fingers to wipe the darn drops away. Feeling the wetness on his fingers, he lifted his hand to gaze upon the glistening wetness. It had been the same on that day.

Slowly he felt his vision being blurred and he realized the reason why. Shin-ou must have been taking pity on him, for his tears and the rain were gracefully preventing him from watching even further. He made no movement to wipe the tears, in fact, he felt no reason to.

True, Yuuri was right there. His posture was that of a relaxed man, his arms around another slender form. His dark head was tipped low, towards the other. Before the great king took pity on him, he had already seen the way his supposedly fiancé was holding onto the other person.

'Run. Run as far as you can.' That same voice that pleaded for him returned once again. And once he gained control of his body, he paid heed to it. In the beginning, all he could do was took a few steps back. Then, without a doubt in mind about what he'd seen, he swiftly turned and ran.

If he wasn't feeling what he was feeling at that moment, he'd scoffed at himself. The great Wolfram running. But that was he did. He ran, all the way back into the castle. Not caring if anyone seen him did that. But thankfully, no one was around. He didn't care where he went as long as it was far from the king. So he went to that one place he knew he was entirely safe. His own neglected room.

He wished he could burn that image away as though it was just a photo. But alas, that image was already imprinted inside him and it would take many more years for it to fully disappear.

The image of the king's lovestruck expression as he kissed that other person.


Seeing you again invoke feelings I wished I've never had in the beginning. You turned away from me once again, and this time, I knew I could never ever have you. I wished I could return to the days I've never met you, but fate is really cruel. It made me remember memories I do not wish to relive. It made me think of what could be but would definitely never happen.

I wish. I truly wish, I could tear this heart of mine.


Just had to ask. How was it?