DISCLAIMER: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy! :)
A/N: The aftermath of the dance. . .**CITRUS ALERT**
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Sex, Lies, and Glee
Chapter Seven: The Right Choice
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Finn sped through the streets of Lima, faster than he'd ever driven before. Normally, he was a cautious driver, but not on this night. Rachel had told him to drive, and that's exactly what he was doing.
"Where do you want to go?" He'd asked her, anxiously.
"Anywhere we can be alone. We need to talk." Nodding firmly, he'd realized that this was it. This was the moment where he was finally going to have the chance to talk to her honestly, and tell her the truth. He headed towards his house, knowing that it would be empty. His mom had a date with Burt, and he had a feeling she would be out for the night.
He led her into his dark house, straight for his bedroom so they could be alone together for the first time in what felt like eons. He held her hand as they maneuvered through the empty house, and Finn held his breath as he led her into his room, closing the door behind them with a light "click."
There was no turning back, now. It was time to tell her the truth.
She took a good look around his room, and he realized that this was the first time she'd ever been to his house. She laughed at the cowboy wallpaper and sat down on his tiny bed. She looked so out of place in her glamorous gown, sitting on his crappy bed. She patted the space next to her, and he joined her.
They looked at each other expectantly, each person waiting for the other to make the first move. They were all alone now. No one would be interrupting them. He cleared his throat, wanting to break the silence.
"Why did you leave the dance, Rachel? I thought you and Jesse were going to spend the night together." It hurt him to even think about the implications of that statement, but he needed to know. He had to know why she'd chosen him tonight instead of Jesse.
She shook her head, sadly. "When you left, he turned on me, and he looked so angry. He started to yell at me in front of everyone, and his breath stunk like alcohol. I was so embarrassed; there was no way I was about to do anything with him like that. And I definitely didn't want him to drive me home drunk, so I left him."
Disappointment burned in him like fire, and he felt foolish for getting his hopes up. He'd thought that maybe she'd actually chosen him, when he was really just a glorified taxi. He couldn't control the bitterness in his tone. "So you jumped out in front of my car because you wanted a ride home?"
"No! It's not like that, Finn. There's more." She looked down at her hands, trying to avoid eye contact. "You told me that you loved me."
He took one of her hands into his own and agreed sincerely. "I do."
"But you weren't finished." She looked up at him again, and her eyes were shining bright with curiosity. "You said that there was still more to tell me. I need to know, Finn."
He nodded, he was ready to do this. It was time. "I was so jealous, Rachel. So pathetically, desperately jealous. I did the most stupid thing I've ever done in a lifetime of stupid."
One of her small gloved hands rested on his cheek. "You're not stupid, Finn."
The truth poured from his lips, uncontrollably. "I lied to you about being a virgin." The hand dropped from his cheek. He missed the contact immediately.
"What?"
"That night, when I had that first date with Santana, I slept with her. I'm not a virgin anymore, Rachel. I lied." He watched, helpless, as her mouth opened and closed in overwhelmed silence. He grabbed both of her hands in his and let the desperation seep into his pleads. "Please, Rachel, I'm so sorry. She knew how much it would hurt you to find out, so I made her promise not to say anything, and then she was blackmailing me about it, and it turned into a big fucked-up mess. . ." His babbling was interrupted by the sounds of soft crying. Feeling like his heart had sunk into his gut, he watched as her face crumpled in on itself in tears. Her body shook while she covered her face with her gloved hands.
He'd made her cry. Why was he always the one to make her cry?
He kept talking, the truth spilling from his lips without any filter. "It meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. I felt so miserable afterwards, I think I might have cried. . ." He would have continued, but he was suddenly attacked by Rachel's body as she flung herself into his chest and kissed him until he couldn't see straight. He tasted salt on his lips, and, when he pulled away from her, he could see tears still spilling down her cheeks. Wait, wasn't she upset? Then why was she kissing him? He would never understand chicks. "Rachel?"
"It all makes sense now."
"Huh?"
"What you'd said to me yesterday. 'It should have been with you'. That's what you meant." She smiled softly through her tears as he kissed her again, reveling of the feel of her in his arms.
"So you're not mad?" She shook her head sadly.
"No, I have no right to be mad at you."
"Why?"
"I have something to tell you, too."
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She was so nervous she could barely keep her voice level as she fidgeted under the steady gaze of Finn on his bed. Yeah, she'd been hurt to know that Finn had slept with Santana, but hadn't she been putting him through the same pain in thinking she'd slept with Jesse? She had no right to be angry with him when she was hiding her own secret. The overwhelming guilt she'd felt about lying to Finn had been the cause of her tears.
Since when had their lives become intertwined with sex and lies? They used to be so honest with each other; so open. Finn cared about her enough to tell her the truth, so she would do the same. She owed it to him.
"I'm a virgin, Finn." She couldn't prevent the blush that sperad across her cheeks at her confession, but she held her head high and anticipated his reaction. He sat on his bed, looking completely shocked, and ran a hand through his hair in disbelief.
"A virgin?"
"Jesse and I never had sex. I lied to you, too. That's why I can't be mad about Santana." He looked away from her, turning around so she couldn't see his face. Was he angry? She was hoping he would understand, she'd wanted them to have a clean slate. "I knew I wasn't ready, and to tell you the truth, I didn't want my first time to be with him." He looked at her again, letting the smallest of smiles grace his features.
"Why?" His voice was soft, low, and it gave her goosebumps on her bare shoulders.
"Because he's not you."
Quicker than she'd ever seen him move, he turned around and grabbed her by the upper arms, locking her in his stare. She was trapped in his clutches and his gaze; she couldn't move even if she'd wanted to.
"Do you love me?" The question was so abrupt she had to ask him to repeat it. "Do you love me, Rachel? I need to know. Because I love you. I know that what I did was a mistake, and I know why it had been a mistake. Because I did it with someone who hadn't mattered. Now I know better. I know to wait until I'm with the person I care about more than anything. And I know in my heart that you're the one." He swallowed thickly as she felt her own throat become tight with emotion. "I don't want to see the same thing happen to you, Rachel. You should wait to be with the person you love, don't throw it all away like I did. But if you love Jesse, if you truly love him, then it's okay. I'll leave you alone from now on. But only if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you love him."
His deep chocolate eyes had her locked in place as she searched for the words to say. Whatever she'd felt for Jesse was nothing, nothing, compared to what she felt for Finn. She'd been trying to deny it since Jesse had moved here, but the truth was inevitable. Finn would always come first in her heart.
"I can't do it, Finn. He's not the one." She could feel the absolute truth of the statement once it had passed her lips.
"Rachel. . ." His voice was strained with emotion.
"I want it to be you."
"I can't . . ." He hesitated, pulling away from her. She was still with Jesse, but she didn't care. Sitting here, bearing her soul to Finn in his tiny bedroom, was the catalyst she'd needed to make her decision.
She was ready.
"I love you, Finn."
She grabbed his hand and he watched in utter shock as she led it to the zipper on the side of her dress. Just yesterday, they had been pressed together in the dressing room of the formal wear store, his fingers brushing the naked skin of her torso. She wanted those feelings back. She needed to feel; something, anything.
Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers grazed her skin softly, tenderly, like she was made of porcelain. She could feel the cool air against her chest as she stood up, letting the top of the dress fall. She watched him as he soaked in the image of her naked chest. She shimmied out of the dress until she was standing almost fully naked in his bedroom, the flowing gown a heap of fabric at her feet. Clad only in her white cotton panties, she stood in front of him, waiting, anxious, nervous.
He stood up from his position on the bed, and her heart started to pound when she noticed the tenting in his pants. She took a deep breath. She was ready for this.
He walked up to her, until his clothed body towered over her, her body burning under his heavy gaze. He reached out to hold her, or touch her, but his hand snapped back in hesitation.
"What is it?" He looked up at her, his face curious and hesitant.
"Can I touch you?" A blazing fire, more powerful than anything she'd ever felt, set her body alive as she nodded her head. She took his hand and led it to her chest, closing his large hand around her small breast. The feelings that coursed through her were like nothing she'd ever felt as his fingers grazed the silky skin and caressed the soft flesh. She'd never known how good it would feel. "You're so beautiful." His mouth closed over hers as his hands roamed everywhere on her body. She reveled in the feeling of his hands on her skin, and he made her body come alive with the simplest touches.
She pulled at his jacket, and he started to remove his clothing. He could barely keep himself from falling over, he was in such a rush to get undressed. A rush of power coursed through her at the realization that she'd done this to him. She'd never felt so wild, so alive, in her life. She felt amazingly powerful, watching as Finn flung his clothes off until he was in his boxers, just as naked as she was. She found his lips again in another soul-searing kiss as skin made contact with skin. She felt his arms wrap around her body, engulfing her in the span of his broad chest. She could feel his erection pressed up against her abdomen as her heart did cartwheels in her chest. This was really happening.
She was going to have sex with Finn.
He whispered in her ear, worry thick in his voice. "Are you sure about this Rachel? I'd never forgive myself if you weren't ready."
She reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek and nodded. "I'm sure." She reached over for her clutch and pulled out the condom she'd packed earlier that night before sitting on the bed with Finn. He took the condom from her and she stared in wonder as he removed his boxers and slipped the condom onto his erection. She'd never even seen a penis that hadn't been in a textbook before, and the sight of Finn's very real one was more than a little intimidating.
But while she was staring at him, a pleasant feeling inside of her started to grow. It started to tingle and move throughout her body until it felt like the tips of her fingers were buzzing with sexual energy. She took one more look at Finn and the nervousness melted away. There was no reason to be scared. She was with Finn, just like she'd dreamed.
She reached for her underwear and slipped off the fabric, exposing her naked body to a boy for the first time in her life. Finn towered over her, waiting patiently for her to get comfortable, a glowing smile on his face. She laid back against his soft sheets and breathed in the smell of his body on the pillows. It felt like she was surrounded by Finn Hudson, and the feeling increased tenfold when he rested his body on top of hers, balancing his weight off of her petite frame.
"Are you ready?" That seemed to be the question of the year. Before tonight, she would have said no. But now, in Finn's room, surrounded by his body, his scent and his love, she knew in her soul that she was no longer the same person. Tonight she'd crossed a line. She'd matured.
She was ready.
She opened her legs, slowly, as his hand reached down and cupped her sex, rubbing her in slow circles. None of their previous caresses could even begin to compare to what was happening inside of her body now. She felt electric, like lightning could fly from her fingers. Closing her eyes, the pressure was building so slowly it was torturous.
"Finn, please. . ." She didn't know what she was asking for, she just knew that she didn't want him to ever stop touching her. His lips met hers as he continued to build up the pressure in her body to dizzying levels. She felt like she was a wound up coil, tight, and ready to snap at any second.
She felt him moving over her, and she gasped when she felt something hard in-between her legs. Finn kissed her once more and leaned over to whisper, "I love you," one last time before thrusting inside of her, taking her virginity and sending her into the blissful oblivion of love.
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He woke up sometime in the middle of the night, the extra body snuggled next to him in his tiny bed made it hard to stay comfortable for long. He gazed at Rachel affectionately as she slept soundly next to him, exhausted from their evening of passionate lovemaking that made him want to do back-flips. He'd had sex with Rachel! She'd said she loved him!
HE HAD SEX WITH RACHEL!
Not just once either, they'd done it until they couldn't move anymore. He was still kind of quick on the trigger, especially when Rachel was around, so their first time hadn't necessarily been the best. But the second time had been much better. And the third? It had been like heaven.
But he couldn't deny the sting of truth that nagged him in the corner of his mind. She was still dating Jesse, and she was technically cheating on him right now. Would she stay with him? Would she leave him to be with Finn? They hadn't discussed any of it, they'd only focused on each other. Now the anxiety crippled his mind as the night stretched on. What would she do?
He could only hope for the best as the anxiety finally quieted enough for him to fall back asleep. Rachel was the last thing on his mind as he drifted off with her in his arms, and he only hoped that she would make the right choice come Monday.
Now that he'd had Rachel, he didn't think he would be able to let her go.
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Salut mes amis!
Don't think for a SECOND that the drama is over! The next chapter will blow you away!
Until Next Time. . .*sings* Don't Stop. . .Reviewing!
Merci Mille Fois
The Minsk
