Enemy 6: A Royal Pain
That's right! The royal family are in Alucard's sights this time. Prepare to be offended!
Alucard watched television while Seras patched up the bullet wound in her left um...Part of a chicken? Alucard's toddler tantrum had been too funny to ignore, but apparently vampires are incredibly self-conscious and dislike being mocked, a lesson she learned through pain. Now here she was, using her fingers like tweezers to pry a silver bullet out of her...chicken meat.
Meanwhile Alucard flicked through channel after channel of two boring unremarkable faces, Will and Kate. He scowled at the lack of action scenes on every station and in a fit of rage hurled the remote across the room.
"Dammit! Why is there nothing on television but this Will and Kate nonsense?"
Seras poked her head into the room and smiled. "Aw, but they're such a nice couple. She actually found her prince charming! It's like a fairytale come true."
Alucard glared at her. "And?"
"And what?"
"Why is it suffocating the media like a python consuming a little child?" Alucard snarled.
Seras shrugged. "It's a royal wedding. Everyone loves the royals."
Alucard scowled. "The same royals who deprived me of the ability to kill at my own leisure for the protection of this nation? The same royals who never waved to me when I waved at them? The same royals who murdered my master's ambitions and put her and all she cared for out of work?"
Seras paused for a moment. "Uh...Yeah, that's them."
"Grr, how dare they now rob me of the simple human pleasure of watching television? She takes away my pride as a vampire and now my mortal joys? Such despicable acts cannot be tolerated."
Seras' eyes widened to the point of practically popping out of her head. "Alucard...You aren't seriously planning on..." It was too terrible to say it out loud.
The ferocious demon merely smiled at her knowingly, not caring for the pure insanity of his intentions. "I have a wedding present for these bland tasteless royals."
"Alucard no! There am no way that I ma letting you do that!" Seras blocked the doorway with her trembling body. "This is madness! You can't!"
The beast slid up before her, towering over the terrified police girl. "You are in no position to stop me. I am your master. Have you forgotten that lesson already?"
Pain ran through her chicken fillet and she dropped to her knees. She groaned in agony and winced, sobbing quietly as the pain worsened. By the time she could open her eyes again Alucard was gone, long gone. She was in no state to be chasing after him and she needed to rest her wound, so instead she slumped on the couch and watched the Royal wedding.
A procession of guests poured through the streets around the cathedral and the traffic was blocked for several blocks to allow the immense pilgrimage of old people and lonely women. Alucard dashed over rooftops to avoid them and also to save time. Excitement was dripping from his pores and the vacant space between his ribs where a heart should be was vibrating instinctively in the absence of the pounding organ. He was laughing insanely even though he was far from his target.
As he skipped over another rooftop he felt a human presence nearby and came to a complete stop. He whirled around slowly and spotted a sniper hiding in the corner, nestled between a railing and a radiator. The young man raised the rifle up towards Alucard and took aim.
"Stop right there! What are you doing up here?"
Alucard grinned wickedly. "I am here for the wedding."
"Is that a gun?" The soldier asked aloud, staring at the Jackal nestled comfortably inside Alucard's jacket. "That's it! I have no choice but to shoot you!" He pulled the trigger and a deafening roar echoed throughout the entire town.
Alucard's ribcage erupted in an arterial shower of blood. Shattered ribs and bone fragments spat out like shrapnel from a grenade. Organs spilled out onto his feet and the great vampire staggered about, but remained standing.
The soldier lowered the rifle but kept his gaze on the enemy. The man remained standing even after taking a close-range shot from such a powerful weapon. There was no possible way to survive, especially with his own intestines coiling around the bastard's feet. So why then was he still standing and giggling as if he had just been tickled with a feather?
The soldier dropped the gun, disbelief striking him with paralysis. Alucard merely chuckled warmly and scooped up his internal organs, calmly packing them back inside the ragged hole in his torso as if they were groceries fallen out of a shopping bag. He then approached the soldier who screamed as loud as he could. But it did not matter. It was too late to save him now. Alucard pierced the soldier's gut with a bare hand and then dragged out his guts until they were equals. The soldier however did not live to look back on this and laugh, unlike his demonic opponent.
While Special Forces and police units stormed the buildings below Alucard healed his wounds and headed off, long before the fat pigs reached the roof. With them distracted it would be even easier now to carry out the secret mission and Alucard was powerless to suppress the criminally insane laughter that flowed from his mouth like water.
He finally neared the cathedral. He could smell hypocrisy in the air and at once he knew it was a place of religious origin. The smell of wood and beard hair was unmistakeable...As well as a hint of children's tears? Alucard spread his arms and his body turned into a cloud of vicious little bats, their gleaming eyes brimming with hatred and raw hunger. The organic storm cloud blotted out the sun as it descended down upon the wedding guests.
One such member on the guest list was none other than Sir Integra Hellsing, former servant of the queen and now unemployed. She had been invited out of obligation since the Queen had just about ruined her career. In her past career such events were normal to her, sometimes even humorous, but now this was a horrifying revelation.
"Alucard! What is the meaning of this?" She turned in time to spot a bat reaching out to bite her. She grabbed it by the neck and strangled it to death, yelling at the dead little critter to call of the others. The little bat melted into tar and oozed over her hands and absorbed into the earth. Integra yelped and backed away. There was no other option now, she had to fight him. She took out a service pistol she had hidden away in her coat and opened fire on the unnatural beasts.
Nearby police mistook her for a terrorist and took her down, placing her under arrest and removing her before Alucard could take notice. With no further setbacks and most of the crowd either fleeing for their lives or sucked dry and very much as lifeless as the television programs dedicated to the Royal wedding.
Alucard morphed back into his natural form and entered the cathedral where several rows of troops were guarding the royal couple. A senior officer stepped forward and blocked the path ahead.
"What are you doing here?"
Silently, Alucard tore the man's head from his shoulders and consumed the crimson cascade which spewed forth from the stump of his neck. When he was done he threw the severed head into the stained glass ceiling, sending large, sharp shards of broken glass down upon the troops who were shredded into little pieces in the blink of an eye.
The couple held each other and sobbed as Alucard waded through the red sea, guns drawn. "Hello. I am here to deliver a wedding present." Alucard bared his fangs and howled.
The gunshots were deafening.
Meanwhile, back at home Seras watched the entire massacre onscreen. She had filled four buckets full of vomit and was still leaking bile from her painfully cracked lips. She was barely able to stay conscious to watch the monstrous acts Alucard committed to the couple. When he vanished from screen coated in gore Seras noted the truly abominable look on his face, something that had scared her more than anything else she had witnessed in her blood-soaked journey through hell and back with the Hellsing organisation. Alucard was a monster, pure and simple. There was no way to overlook he was a heartless, demonic beast.
But still, part of her adored him. But what kind of affection was it that she felt? Had it grown beyond that of a master and student? Had it developed into something more?
Seras shook her head and derailed that train of thought. How could she be thinking of such things when she had just witnessed the royal family be murdered. But now a more pressing question arose: Where was Alucard?
The Queen hid inside Westminster Abbey, surrounded by guards. The other members of the Royal family had been split up and sent all over London to ensure not all of them were slain on this darkest of days.
It did not take long after the reports surfaced of a stylishly dressed killer attacking the cathedral when new word reached her guards that the very same gentleman was outside the abbey. The guards at the gate were already dead and he was headed inside.
The Queen scowled. "Take him down. I will not allow such unspeakable actions to be ignored. Find this man and destroy him for the good of the royal family?"
The lead guard bowed. "Yes, your majesty." the main unit of guards filed out and only a handful remained with the old woman. In a matter of minutes there was a knock on the door. The lead guard's voice came through from the other side.
"Your majesty..."
One of the younger guards pried the door open only to have the upper half of his leader thrown into his face. He fell back and was trampled by the towering figure that was Alucard. His heavy black boot crashed down upon his skull and shattered it like a melon, splattering brain matter all over the expensive rug on the floor.
The guards rushed forward, only to meet a violent doom. Within only thirty seconds the Queen was alone with Alucard.
"So...It has come to this."
Alucard glared at her. "You put my master out of a job. You deprived me of everything I once had. Now I shall take it all back!" He stalked the old woman who still kept a reserved look on her face, even when he was within a few paces of her.
But then she moved, impossibly fast. She reached under her chair and pulled out an automatic rifle. She opened fire on the fearsome Nosferatu, bullets chewing him to pieces. Victory seemed at hand for the Queen...But then a deep, menacing chuckle echoed around the room, an omen for the horrors yet to come.
Alucard-
SCENE OMMITED BY REQUEST OF THE ROYAL FAMILY
Seras hunched over outside the bathroom, her hands between her legs, a look of painful urgency in her eyes. "Please master? You've been in there all day! I need the bathroom now!"
"Shut up!" Alucard grunted loudly followed by groaning, panting and sobbing. "Damn, there must have been something in that bloody Queen. Remind me not to eat there again."
"Please? I'm begging you!"
"Quiet!" Alucard roared, followed by a splashing sound. A spectacularly wrong moan came after and then the toilet flushed. The toilet sounded as if it were dying, definitely suffering in agony as it went about its grim duty.
Alucard stormed out of the bathroom looking like he had just done an intensive workout at the gym. Seras didn't want to dwell on that and instead she ran into the bathroom...
Only to find a crown floating in the toilet bowl...
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