AN: Ok, the last chapter was nice and light-hearted, this one is full of drama! Oh we love the drama! :D Hope you keep enjoying and remember I thrive on Reviews!

Betrayal can only happen if you love. – John Le Carre

Sirius was very drunk, James was worse and Remus had gone to bed. Sirius drained his glass and picked up the bottle, he squinted through blurry vision as he concentrated hard on not spilling it, yet he somehow managed to pour most of it over his hand anyway. He swore loudly and began licking the sharp liquid off. James watched him through unfocussed eyes, he watched that tongue slide over his fingers and swallowed a dry lump in his throat. Sirius caught him staring and turned his head, stilling like a hunting animal, he got a predatory look in his eye and James hissed in a sharp breath. "Siri-..." He began but it was too late. As Sirius pushed him backwards into the sofa he was already too far gone.

"Jamie..." Sirius breathed against James' mouth, there was a split second of doubt in James' hazel eyes before he was grabbing Sirius' hair and dragging him down. Their lips met in a furious kiss, their tongues tangling desperately as their fingers found skin beneath each other's t-shirts. "Jamie...Jamie...Jamie..." Sirius chanted between kisses making James grind his hips into him. "Oh holy fuck!" He gasped. "Nng...Did you miss me?" He muttered, nipping at James' ear as they both groaned in unison. When he got no answer he grabbed James' erection through his jeans.

"Oh...Shiiit..." James closed his eyes.

"Tell me...tell me how much you need this. Tell me how you think of me when you fuck her, Jamie..." He hissed between his teeth as James sat up, shoving him violently to the floor and tumbling after him. Sirius grinned at him wickedly, his hips jerking as James grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head. "It's t-true...isn't it? You think of me...about how fucking tight I am...come on James...admit it...You still want me."

James made a growling noise in the back of his throat as he kissed Sirius. "Fucking hell...stop it..." He whispered desperately. "Stop torturing me..."

"I won't stop...I want you."

James swore and grabbed Sirius' t-shirt, it tore open and he attacked his chest, biting down hard on a nipple. Sirius cried out and bared his teeth, wincing at the pain. Suddenly Sirius felt himself flipped onto his front, James grabbed the back of his jeans and tugged, they came down to his knees as he fumbled with his own belt. After much drunken fumbling he managed to undo it and free his aching erection. "Siri..." He slurred as he grabbed his hips and a handful of Sirius' hair, he pushed himself inside Sirius with a throaty groan as he pushed his face into the carpet. "Oh Merlin..." He muttered, tipping his head back as he was encased in tight heat.

Sirius gritted his teeth as tears of agony seared his eyes. "J-James...y-you're...hurting me..." He hissed, his body tensing. "Fucking hell...!"

"Shut up." James replied, jerking his hips and making Sirius cry out and claw at the carpet.

"Fucking git! What are you doing?" Sirius snapped furiously.

"God that's good..." It was agonising, a burning, searing agony that stabbed deep into Sirius' abdomen, he tried to reach around to James and make him stop but his hand was slapped away. He felt James' weight on his back and he muttered in his ear. "I-It'll feel good soon...bear with it..."

"Ow! I-I can't...you fucking dick!" Sirius gritted his teeth. "Stop!"

"Relax...I can't...get in properly..."

"I'll relax when you...ow...shit...fucking prepare me properly!" James simply pushed his head down when he tried to raise it, he had forgotten how strong he was. Sirius hissed again and closed his eyes, tears slid free of his eyes as he tried to force his body to relax. "S-stop...Please..."

"That's it...yes..." James moved slowly, his eyes half closed and his glasses wonky. His fingers dug into Sirius' hips and he felt him relax enough for him to slip deeper. "I missed you. I missed you I missed...nnn..." He only got a grunt in reply, but he was too far gone to notice that Sirius wasn't responding. His thrusts began to speed up and the man beneath him buried his face in his arms, his body trembling as he felt something trickle down his thighs. His fingers dug into the carpet and he waited for James to finish. His nerves were on fire, his lower back throbbing with pain and his jaw ached from where he was he gritting his teeth. When James began to lose rhythm he let out a small whimper, nails dragged down his back creating bloody lines and he held in another cry of pain.

"Ow...please...please...stop...it hurts..." Sirius whispered, feeling scolding tears run down his cheeks.

James had always been rough, but he had never hurt him this badly, he felt a strange emptiness as James came, there was none of James' usual tenderness, none of his soft whispers and gentle touches. Sirius collapsed as James pulled out, he rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. He felt sick. Blood and semen trickled over his skin as his abdomen ached and throbbed, he couldn't even look at his best friend, even when he heard him choke.

"S-Sirius..." James reached for him, guilt sitting heavily in his chest. "I-I..."

"No! Get the fuck off of me and get out! You bastard! I trusted you! I fucking trusted you and..." Sirius let out a heart wrenching sob that drove a spike of grief into James' stomach.

"What's going o-..." Remus stepped out of his room and as his sleepy eyes took in the scene they widened. "James! What...? Oh god..." He ran over and fell beside Sirius. "Siri...shh...it's alright." He turned on James, his eyes flashing yellow in the firelight. "What the fuck have you done?" He growled, baring his teeth in a feral snarl.

"I-I...I'm...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I got carried away! I didn't mean to...he wanted it...a-and I went too far...I was in too much of a hurry...I lost it...Sirius...Please..."

"Fuck off! Get out!" Sirius sat up and threw a punch at James who caught his wrist deftly and held him still, he grabbed the other one just to be sure. "Get off of me! You prick! I was asking! I was fucking begging you...I ASKED YOU TO STOP! YOU RAPED ME!"

Remus stared at James with wide eyes, but it was the pain in Sirius' that made him let go. He was shaking and gasping in shuddery breaths as he gazed at James with huge eyes, he had his back against the sofa and tears still fell down his cheeks, he felt as if his heart was ripping it's self to shreds inside his chest, he trusted James, he had trusted him with everything and now he had ripped it all away and torn it up into tiny pieces. "James...I...Think you should go back to Lily now." Remus said in a cold whisper, he had one hand on Sirius' shoulder protectively. "You're going to kill her if you tell her." His voice was low and level but his eyes were cold.

James shoved fingers into his hair and lowered his head. "I'm sorry...forgive me...please."

"You didn't stop when I asked." Sirius croaked, his voice dead. "I asked...I begged...you didn't listen."

"I know! I know! I don't deserve you...I-I don't deserve Lily...It's just...It's so fucking hard! I-I...I could die tomorrow! I could be murdered and I-It...It terrifies me! I'm scared...I'm scared and I'm too weak!" He felt his insides twist with agony. "I'm too fucking young for this."

Sirius took a slow breath and let it out, he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the sofa. "I'm sorry." He muttered. "I-I wasn't thinking...I wanted you too much and I realised I'll never be able to let you go. James..." He looked up, the pain in his eyes was terrible to behold but James couldn't look away. "I'm in love with you."

Suddenly James stood, he looked stricken. "You should have just punched me." He gasped and rapidly did up his belt, he walked to the door almost stumbling on the rug, but when he reached for the handle he stopped. "Sirius...I'm sorry but I...I think I l-love you too..." With that he was gone.

As the door closed behind him Sirius found himself staring blankly at the wall opposite him, it had a poster of a bikini clad woman draped provocatively over a motorbike. He shuddered and only half heard Remus talking to him, he let himself be helped to his feet and tugged gently to the bathroom.

Remus helped wash him, his voice a comforting drone in Sirius' ears as he tipped his head back in the shower and let the hot water wash away his tears. He had never thought James would betray him like that, but now he had time to think it had been him who had pushed him, it was Sirius' fault for saying what he had. He pressed his forehead into the wall and sighed shakily. "'M alright Remus...I-I'll be...alright..."

"Are you sure?" Remus replied, touching him gently on the shoulder.

"Yeah...It was my fault. I-I said...some nasty things...and I think it made him angry."

"Still, that's no excuse."

"No...but it's a reason." He smiled weakly as he turned around to face his friend, slowly he lifted his hand and stroked wet hair from Remus' eyes. "Thanks."

Remus returned his smile and threw the flannel at him. "Its fine, I owe you a lot. Washing you isn't nearly enough payment...but it's a start."

Later Sirius lay in bed gazing up at the ceiling, he was thinking of James. He lifted his hands and scrubbed at his face with a deep sigh, he couldn't stop thinking about him, it was torture to remember the way he had been so violent and yet he couldn't think any less of him. "I'd forgive you anything, James." He whispered to the darkness as James' face hovered in the forefront of his mind. When he closed his eyes he could see nothing but that face, those hazel eyes and his smile, he rolled over and tried to sleep but it wasn't until he could hear birds chirping outside that sleep finally took him in her gentle hands and dragged him down into darkness.

"Sirius..."

Sirius groaned, something was shaking his shoulder.

"Siri, wake up."

"Pissoff'm sleepy..."

"Get your fat arse out of bed, Sirius Black, we've been called to an emergency meeting."

Sirius bolted out of bed, the duvet flying off of him as he jumped to his feet. "'M up!" He said and yawned.

"Christ! You could have had the decency to at least put some underwear on." Remus muttered and shook his head, he was fully dressed in a jumper and jeans, his hair still damp from his shower.

Sirius shrugged. "It's just nudity Remmy, come on, you were washing me yesterday."

"Yes, except then I didn't have to look at your morning wood." Remus was determinedly looking in the opposite direction.

"Oh! Would you look at that. Good morning Mini-pads...I guess I'll go take a shower." He laughed at Remus' shudder. "Unless you want to lend me a hand?" His voice dropped to a sensual purr and he stepped close to Remus who backed away.

"No...definitely not. Sorry but I like breasts far too much."

"Ah, shame. You're cute and I can't say I would refuse you if you did...well, Mr. Righty, looks like it's just you and me." He grinned all the way into the shower.

When he was done he moved into the kitchen to find toast and marmalade ready and waiting for him, Remus was lounging in the kitchen seat and reading the Daily Prophet while munching away on his own breakfast. His hair had dried into a fall of wavy brown that fell across his face but couldn't hide the scar that ran down his cheek. "Before you start, I don't want to know how wonderful your wank was, sit and eat and stay quiet." He ordered without looking up from the morning paper. "Oh, and there's an owl for you." He waved his toast vaguely in the direction of a large Tawny Owl that was standing on the back of the sofa, it ruffled its feathers angrily as Sirius stared at it.

"That's Evans' owl." He muttered with a frown, he went over to it and untied the letter. The owl hooted at him before taking off in a whirl of brown and soaring back out the window. Remus watched Sirius sit down and tear the letter open with a thumb and his toast clamped between his teeth, his face fell into a frown and he looked up. "She thinks we need to talk..." He said slowly. "James...told her..."

Remus chewed slowly for a minute before swallowing and gently laying his breakfast back on his plate, he folded his hands over his paper and gazed at Sirius. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to tell her to stay away from James, I want to tell her he's mine...I want to have him for myself." Sirius answered softly.

"No, about the letter. Is it really such a good idea?"

"I think..." Sirius stared at the letter with a frown. "I think I want to see what she wants."

"Ok, if you want I could come with you?"

"No, I'll be fine Remus, I'm a big boy now." Sirius smiled but Remus saw the darkness in those silver pools, he said nothing however as he stood to prepare for the emergency Order meeting.

James entered the dilapidated house, its roof was crumbling thatch and the rooms were now mostly inhabited by weeds and ivy. He found the only room that was half way decent, inside were a group of people looking grim as they nodded greetings. "Where's Dumbledore?" He asked as he pushed aside a fall of ivy.

"Not here yet, where's the girlfriend, Potter?" One of the Prewett twins asked, he was perched on an ancient piano and his mop of ginger hair almost obscured his brown inquisitive eyes.

"Oh...er...she'll be here soon I expect." James replied vaguely, ruffling his hair up nervously.

"Alright! No need to panic, I'm here now!" Sirius' loud voice echoed through the cottage and a few people chuckled. He appeared in the doorway getting tangled up in the vines that covered it. "Get 'em off!" He called and James heard Remus' laughter, he almost smiled himself until he remembered what he had done and guilt filled him with dread and shame. "Ah, thank you moony...thought I was a goner then..." Sirius stepped into the room and wrinkled his nose in distaste. "How is this any fit place to hold a meeting? I mean really, Dumbledore may be brilliant and all but he has bad taste in decor..." his eyes met James' and he fell silent, they gazed at each other and slowly a smile spread across Sirius' face, with one look he told James that he forgave him and James felt a responding smile fill his face. "Jamie..." Sirius said as he walked over to James and held out his hand, James looked at it before knocking it aside and dragging him into a rough embrace, Sirius wrapped his arms around him and chuckled roughly.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot."

"I know, its fine."

They pulled apart and Remus came over to shake James' hand and greet the others who had arrived before them. There was a sudden strange squeaking sound which made people start to look around in search of the source, Sirius' eyes moved straight to the entrance and he saw Peter fall through the ivy, it had tangled him up so thoroughly he looked half plant. Sirius burst into raucous hysterics, and James sniggered before moving forward to help untangle his friend. "Peter, are you alright?" He said, giving the round boy a hand to his feet.

"Oh...thank you, yes, I'm fine James." He brushed his robes down and gazed around at everyone. "Is this it? Where's Hagrid and Marlene? What about Dumbledore?"

Sirius moved to the smashed in window, a frown creased his brows. "Wait...Remus...give me the letter!" He held out his hands, eyes remaining glued to the overgrown garden outside. "Quickly!" Remus dug inside his robes and handed Sirius the letter, he took it and looked at it carefully. "Who wrote this?"

"The signature is Dearborn's..." Remus said slowly, pointing to the bottom of the parchment.

Sirius frowned. "What did everyone else get?" He asked, his eyes as sharp as the knife he kept in his biker boots.

"Dearborn signed ours as well." The Twins said in unison, Gideon brandished the parchment.

"Why? What's wrong?" James asked, leaning closer.

"Did Lily get a letter?" Sirius asked James who shrugged uncomfortably.

"She and I...er...we're taking a break." He admitted as heat flushed his face and he avoided Sirius' eyes.

"Has anyone else been contacted by anyone else in the Order?" Silence greeted this question and Sirius frowned. "The parchment smells of blood..." He muttered in a tight voice.

"What do you mean? How can you tell?" Fabien asked, walking closer to inspect it.

"It reeks." Sirius let the letter fall from his fingers and drew his wand in a fluid movement, he turned and gazed out into the garden again. "It's a trap...EVERYONE DOWN!" He grabbed James and yanked them roughly to the floor just as the world was turned upside-down, there was a terrible rending crash and smoke and fire filled the air, clogging it as the roof collapsed on top of them. Sirius inhaled a lungful of dust filled air, he choked and blinked to clear his vision, his ears rang from the explosion but he had managed to keep hold of his wand. His hand was gripping James who looked as if he had gone grey with all the debris in his hair, his glasses hung from one ear and one lens had cracked. Sirius turned to Remus and saw him covered by a broken door, he coughed and began crawling over to him as James began pushing away bricks and mortar to free Fabien or Gideon.

"R-remus..." Sirius coughed, his throat sore and his voice came out like a growl. "Remmy..." He shook Remus' shoulder after pushing the door off of him, slowly he pointed his wand at his freind. "R-renovate..." He rasped and watched Remus gasp and choke as he came around and pushed himself up onto all fours. "Prongs, is everyone..." Sirius turned to see James helping Gideon pull his twin from beneath more rubble, others were dislodging dust and bricks as they recovered.

"I think everyone's fine." James rasped. "Is anyone hurt?" He called.

"I think I twisted my ankle, but I'm alright." Peter's soft squeak came from a dark corner. Sirius crawled towards him and looked down at his ankle, he pulled back the robes and trousers that covered it. The flesh was raw and swollen.

"Yeah, it's not broken...here..." He pointed his wand at it and it healed. "You should be able to stand now." He helped Peter to his feet just as they heard the familiar cracks as people Appartated all around them.

James swore loudly and jumped to his feet. "Everyone, stand in a circle, face outwards! Don't let them get behind you!" He shouted and people jumped to obey. Sirius stood at James' side, wand pointing outward as dark clad figures began moving towards them. Sirius' eyes darted from side to side, there were outnumbered two to one. His shoulder brushed James' and he felt his hand slide into his, their fingers tightened and they each took a breath before one Death Eater stood forward, his face was covered by a mask and his stature was slight.

"Well, well...I never expected anyone to actually fall for this plan." The man said, his voice was soft and Sirius tensed as recognition flooded him.

"No..." He breathed, gaining the attention of the Death Eater. "No...Tell me you didn't..."

The Death Eater met Sirius' eyes, slowly he lifted his hand and grabbed his mask. It came off and clattered to the floor and revealed a face so familiar Sirius felt his heart break in his chest. "It's been a while." The boy said.

"Reg..." Sirius replied. "Baby brother..."

"Not a baby, Sirius. I've grown up..." There was such sadness in his eyes that Sirius almost let his wand drop to his side and pull him into an embrace.

"This...what is this? What are you doing?" He asked, waving his wand at the robes and mask.

"I'm doing what Mother and Father wanted from you, I'm making them proud of me. I'm changing the world!" His eyes shone with a light that sent shivers down Sirius' spine.

"You're being a fool, Regulus!" He said slowly. "You've always been so easily led...I-It's not too late, Reg..." He lifted his hand after releasing James' hand and took a step forward, he ignored the other Death Eaters and fixed his eyes on his brother. "Come with me. Leave this insanity and I'll do everything in my power to protect you! I promise you. Come with me Reg, before all this destroys you."

Regulus took a step forward, his eyes on Sirius' hand, he took it and dragged his brother into an embrace. The other Death Eaters didn't move a muscle and James frowned, Sirius' shoulders tensed and his wand fell from his hand. Slowly he pulled himself away, his eyes were wide and he gripped his brothers shoulders.

"Sirius! NO!" Remus shouted lifting his wand.

It took a second for the rest of the Order to work out what had happened, James felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach as he watched Sirius fall to his knees and blood ran from his lips. He slowly looked down to stare at a silver dagger that was gripped in hi brothers fingers. "R-Re-Reg..." He stared at the knife as his own blood dripped down it before slowly bringing his fingers to the source of the dull ache in his gut. Hot blood poured over his hands. He coughed suddenly and more blood poured from his lips, Regulus stepped backwards, kicking his hand away.

"You deserve it. I promised I'd help mother erase you from the Family tree, Sirius. I promised her as she was lying in bed, sick with fever! You made her ill with your constant rebellion! It's your fault Father died! It's...It's all your fault! You broke the family up! Now it's up to me to fix it."

Sirius' vision blurred with more than tears as he gazed in numb shock at the blood on his hands. It was hard to get his sluggish mind into focus, he could hardly even remember when his brother had stabbed him.

James watched in horror as Sirius collapsed onto the rubble. All hell broke loose, light filled the small cottage as the Order attacked. Death Eaters fell or fought, it was chaos but James could only think of getting close enough to Regulus and Sirius. He had to help him. He had to heal him before it was too late.