No planning was put into this at all. I wanted to see where this goes from here. Hopefully, someplace exciting and funny!

Would you guys still be interested in the babysitting chapter? It was also going to incorporate a suggestion I received for some magic shenanigans! I'm also planning a chapter that has little Undyne, Blooky, ect!

I am concerned for my bird. It keeps taking my parents cigarette filters and putting them in its mouth like she's smoking them. I don't think they have bird tobacco addiction programs XD (we make sure the filters are empty, I think she's just mimicking my dad XD)

Well, here we go. Hopefully this turns out well! It's not going to be straight humor, I'm gonna try to include some other things too. Let me know if you like that!

Warning: strong language and puns. Lots of puns.


2"children." Gaster said, bending down in front of his couch, looking at said children. Papyrus's head snapoped up from his book, while Sans looked up lazily from his ds. The light from the machine illuminated his skull and created multiple angles and curves.

"I have something very special planned for you two." Gaster started. "It will be very fun."

Papyrus's face lit up immediately.

"Oooooh, what is it! What is it!"

Sans's expression didn't change from his lazy, soft grin.

Gaster sighed before straightening.

"We are going to go camping tomorrow."

Papyrus shot up excitedly. "cool! Undyne always told me camping was fun! Yay!"

Sans's grin faded.

"What's wrong Sans?" Gaster asked.

"I don't like camping."

"you've never tried it before, child."

"Its too much work."

"and lots of fun."

"still too much work. I'll stay home."

"no, your going. End of story. We are leaving for snowdin forest first thing." Gaster said.

Sans tilted his head back and let out a groan while Papyrus danced around happily.

"are we there yet?"

"Not yet, Papyrus."

It had been about an hour since the skeleton family had left for their trip. Each carried a book bag, and a Gaster blaster with purple eyes followed with a larger bundle in its mouth. It made a soft whizzzz-ing sound as it floated through the air. Snow surrounded them in patches, vibrant green separating the mini hills.

"are we there now?"

"No, Papyrus." Gaster replied through tight lips (what lips?) It seemed awfully cliché that his child decided to play the "are we there yet?" game, but then again it was Papyrus in question. The little skeleton skipped along merrily, red scarf flapping with the movement.

"Are we there yet?" a deeper voice groaned.

"No, Pap- wait, Sans?"

"I'm tired." Sans whined.

Gaster was not fazed. "name one time that you weren't tired."

Gaster was pleased with the silence that followed his question. Unfortunately, his bliss didn't last long.

"… how'd the skeleton call his friends?"

"Sans, n-"

"with a tele-bone."

"…" activate internal screaming.

"… you know, this heavy bag is really making me work… down to the bone."

More internal suffering.

"… are we there yet?"

"Alright, you must listen to me very carefully, okay? This is the structure that will keep us sheltered for the night. We wouldn't want to ruin it, right?"

They had finally arrived at their camping spot in the middle of snowdin forest. Pine trees grew tall here, leaving no undergrowth. The trees blocked out the snow, and the ground was covered instead by a thick layer of brown pine needles.

Gaster had taken out the tent that his Gaster blaster had so kindly carries for him and laid it out. He was now reading the instructions that he so conveniently had printed in wingdings. That meant he would have to read them aloud to his skelechildren.

Gaster looked up from the gray manual, confused with the silence. He had expected it from Sans, but not Papyrus. Papyrus was shifting uncomfortably, looking slightly distressed.

"…dad?"

"yes, Papyrus."

"I need to go potty." (skeletons can go to the bathroom now? Lol)

"then go over behind a tree."

"but there's no potty!"

"you do not need a toilet, Papyrus. Just go. It's alright."

Papyrus looked like he was about to cry.

"where do I go then?"

"on the ground."

"but that's not nice! It's yucky!"

"Papyrus, what do you think other monsters do on camping trips?"

"they bring a toilet."

"… Papyrus, you can't carry a toilet on a camping trip."

"yes you can!"

"… Papyrus, just go."

"nooooooooooo."

Gaster face-palmed and sighed. Great.

"Why don't you make a toilet then?"

"how do I do that?"

"Use your imagination."

"Okay!"

Papyrus ran towards a nearby pine tree with a little too much excitement. Gaster could practically sense the impending pun.

"… hey, dad. Poop jokes aren't my favorite, but they're a solid number 2."

Gaster flipped the manual into the air and walked away without another word.

"Sans, how many bottles of ketchup did you stuff in your bag?"

It was now night, after a day of setting up a tent, waiting for Papyrus every time he needed to make a new 'toilet' and literally pushing Sans from one place to another.

The little skeleton was on his third bottle, drinking it up eagerly. He hadn't even touched the fire-roasted hotdogs. All he had eaten was ketchup and a marshmallow.

"six."

"why?"

"'cause."

Sans put the half empty bottle down on the ground next to him, eyeing the fire. He was fine with it, but he noticed Gaster was sitting slightly farther away than he and Papyrus were. He looked a little nervous around the flames.

Sans shrugged to himself and took another marshmallow, fastening it on his stick before putting it straight into the fire.

"sans, you're gonna burn it!" Papyrus said.

"I like 'em burnt." Sans replied.

"If you leave it too long it will melt, you know." Gaster warned.

"whatever. Hey, dad, what's with you? Fire burns but only if you touch it. It's not the plague or anything."

Gaster didn't move, but his eyes dimmed slightly.

"oh, it's nothing. I guess it's my little phobia. Just like you're scared of vomit and Papyrus is scared of vents."

Papyrus shuddered involuntarily. "I'm scared they're gonna swallow me up!"

"everyone is frightened of something." Gaster said.

Papyrus's eyes widened. "even the king?"

Gaster let out a chuckle. "yes, even the king. He dislikes spiders very much. One time, he picked a flower from his throne room and found a spider on it. It was the tiniest thing. But he practically screamed like a girl and threw the flower. In front of his royal guard, to add."

Papyrus started laughing loudly, clutching his torso. Sans let out a snicker.

"heh, that's rude. The spider probably would've said "heya, flower you doing today?"

Gaster's grin faded, and Papyrus stopped laughing. The only sound was Sans's deep chuckle.

"child, where did I go wrong with you?"

"hey, it was funny! Right?"

"…brother, why do you tell puns all the time?" Papyrus asked.

"well." Sans winked. "I'm just a punny guy."

"bedtime." Gaster said abruptly. "now."

"huh?"

"Its time to stop. It's time to stop, Sans."

Apparently Gaster had a limit.

"oh, come on. I can't help it. It's in my bones."

Gaster Inhaled sharply, giving his son the 'shut up before I spank your bony behind' look.

Sans's attention was brought to a burning smell, and he turned to find his marshmallow turned to white goop.

"shit!" Sans pulled his stick back, looking at the charred end. So much for that marshmallow.

"Sans! Language!" Gaster scolded.

Sans looked up at his father in confusion until realization dawned on him.

"wait, shit, I cursed! Fuck."

"SANS YOU'RE NOT FIXING THE ISSUE."

Sans was staring up at the top of the tent, half in his sleeping bag. Everything had gone quiet, save for the whimsum's distant song and Gaster snoring. Despite feeling tired, Sans couldn't fall asleep. He always found it hard to sleep when he really should. He could toss and turn all night but crash in the middle of the day.

He never told anyone this. He didn't want to be fussed over. Besides, despite his usual friendliness, he liked being alone someplace quiet. It was calming.

He heard the shuffle of fabric beside him, and turned his head to look at Papyrus. The little skeleton was awake, looking around.

"… Sans?"

"yep. Why are you up, little bro?"

"… I need to go pee."

"okay."

"…it's dark. Can you come with me?"

Sans sighed. "…sure."

He slowly got to his feet, stretching his bones. Maybe a good walk would tire him a little.

He walked with Papyrus and waited behind a tree as the little skeleton went through his process. He noticed something glowing and turned to see a bright yellow firefly.

"wow, pretty!" Papyrus said, coming out from behind the tree. He looked at the little bug in wonder.

"yeah. Pretty." Sans echoed, his grin growing a little wider. It made him happy to see his little brother happy.

Papyrus suddenly jumped, trying to catch it. It flew out of his reach with ease.

"awww, I wanna catch it! Hold st-"

Papyrus stopped as the little yellow bug landed on his face, casting a faint yellow glow across the bone.

"heh. Looks like he caught you first, bro."

Papyrus smiled wide before concentrating hard. He tried to grab the bug from his face, but it flew to safety. Papyrus followed it as it began flying farther the woods.

"it's getting away!"

Sans let out some air and followed his brother with his hands in his pockets. Who was he to ruin his bro's fun?

Papyrus kept going, even as they reached undergrowth. Sans pushed through it lazily, trying to avoid the thorns. Something seemed to move in the corner of his eye, but he brushed it off as another bug.

They reached a clearing, and the bug stopped beside a dead tree, light flickering. Papyrus jumped up and down in an attempt to grab it, laughing gleefully.

Sans froze, feeling a sense of dread. His eyes went dark. Somethings off.

He noticed a large, dark shadow in the trees ahead. Two yellow objects glowed behind thin branches.

And they weren't fireflies.

Sans took a nervous step forward, trying to motion to Papyrus.

"hey, bro, come here." He said quietly but urgently.

Papyrus looked over, never having heard his brother talk in such a tone.

"Sans? Why?"

Sans grew more urgent as the yellow moved.

"don't worry about it, just get over here!"

Papyrus blinked at him innocently before the sound of many sticks snapping filled the air.

Sans stared in horror as the largest bear he had ever seen (granted, he had never seen many bears.) crashed through the undergrowth, yellow eyes blazing. It's fur was pitch black and it looked starved, teeth bared and claws raised.

Papyrus turned around and froze in place, terror clear in his face.

"SHIT! Papyrus, MOVE."

Sans ran forward as the bear lumbered closer, Papyrus looking pathetically small against its huge frame. Papyrus broke out of his stance and let out a shrill scream, backing up against the tree behind him.

Sans felt his left eye blaze to life as he leapt, wrapping his arms around his brother and pushing him away. His non-existent heart raced as he felt a stab of pain in his arm, but it was quickly replaced by adrenaline as he and his brother tumbled to the ground.

Sans turned to face the huge creature, eye glowing blue and green. Papyrus cowered beneath him, crying and gasping.

Sans focused hard, using his magic to summon a small Gaster blaster. It was about the size of himself, with icy blue eyes. The small skull creature opened its mouth wide, razor sharp fangs on display as blue flared into a ball of energy in its gaping jaws. The ball then was fired, turning into a thin laser that knocked the bear over into the dead tree. The brittle trunk snapped like a toothpick.

As soon ass it appeared, the Gaster blaster dissipated. Sans felt dizzy as he panted, the single blaster having taken a toll on him. It took a large amount of energy to summon one, and energy was something Sans didn't have.

The bear stirred, growling. Sans's limbs locked in place. He only managed to stun it.

"crap. Papyrus, we need-"

"SANS!" Papyrus cried out, and Sans turned to him, expecting to see another bear. Instead, the little skeleton was staring at his arm.

Sans looked to see blood soaking the fabric of his sweater, and a wave of nausea passed through him.

Sans grinned nervously. "well… crap baskets."

"Sans, your hurt." Papyrus whimpered.

"better than being dead, right?"

"but-"

"look bud, now's not the time. We gotta get out of here, now!" Sans said as the bear rose, shaking it's head. Thick saliva flew from its mouth and splattered across the grass.

Papyrus snapped of his daze, jumping to his feet and beginning to run. Sans rose to his feet as well, only to be hit by heavy dizziness. Sans fought it for a few moments until black spots danced across his vision and he fell back onto his knees, panting slightly. He used more magic than he thought.

Papyrus stopped when he noticed his brother wasn't following.

"Sans! What are you doing! You said we need to leave!"

Sans's nervous grin faltered as the bear saw him and roared with rage.

"I'll… I'll be there in a minute… just go."

Papyrus started to move towards him. "No! Your hurt!"

Sans turned to him, eye glowing.

"Papyrus, go. Now! "

"bu-"

"NOW."

Papyrus let out a cry, not moving. Tears streamed down his skull.

Sans felt a presence look over him and fell back, scrambling away. He felt intense fear work it's way into him, making him feel light as a feather. He could smell the bears rotten breath as it snarled at him, heavy paws landing just inches from Sans's legs.

Sans tried to say something, scream, anything. Nothing but a strangled gasp escaped from his mouth as he looked up at his impending death. The bear rose it's forepaw high above its head, drool leaking from its open mouth as it…

As it was sent hurtling away by a large bone surrounded by a purple glow.

"what do you think your doing to my child?"

"DAAAAAAD!" Papyrus called out, relief taking over his little face.

Gaster eyes glowed a dangerous purple, as did his hand. His clothes were still ruffled from sleep, but he looked pissed.

The bear got up again, shaking it's probably bruised head as it caught sight of Gaster, and Sans felt his relief fade as the bear lumbered towards his father.

"Dad, move! What are y-"

Gaster pulled his arm back and punched the bear directly on its nose. The bear cried out and took a few steps back, shaking it's head vigorously.

"did he just…."

"Dad! You don't punch bears!"

"I can and will punch bears because I am your father!" Gaster replied.

Gaster started talking in a strange language, Huge Gaster blasters forming around him. Sans flinched as he recognized a few of the words as the nastiest curses ever to grace this universe. The bear stared at the yelling skeleton in confusion, unsure what to make of it.

Gaster took a step forward, and the bear took an uncertain step back. Eventually, the bear decided that he no longer wanted to eat such a foul mouth and shuffled away, growling.

Gaster started throwing bones at it, still cursing in the unknown language. Sans considered covering Papyrus's ears despite the fact it was in another language. Even the Gaster blasters looked uncomfortable.

Sans was distracted from the hell that happened to be his father's mouth by little arms wrapping themselves around his torso. Sans stiffened, then relaxed when he realized it was just Papyrus.

"hey. You alright, bro?"

His brother buried his head in Sans's, jacket, still sniffling.

"I was scared…"

Sans put his good hand on the top of Papyrus's head, comforting him.

"I know, buddo. I'm sorry."

Papyrus sounded choked up again. "I was scared I wasn't going to have a brother a-anymore."

Sans didn't know how to reply to that. The young skeleton simply pulled Papyrus closer, letting the small child cry into his jacket.

"Sans, Papyrus, are you injured?"

Sans looked up to see Gaster standing over him, purple lights gone.

"N-no, dad, we-"

"Sans hurt his arm." Papyrus cut him off, pulling his head away and pointing at the arm Sans was trying to hide.

Sans pulled away as Gaster bent down, looking concerned.

"Sans, that looks bad. Let me see."

"no."

"Sans-"

"no."

Papyrus put his little boney hands on his hips, pouting at his brother.

"Sans, stop being a girl."

"… huh?"

"your acting like a girl!"

Sans blinked.

"..."

"Thank you, Papyrus. Now, listen to your brother."

Sans grumbled and offered Gaster his arm, giving Papyrus the 'I'll pay you back' look. Brotherly love.

"now, I wonder what the hell you two were doing out here at night?" Gaster asked, examining Sans's arm.

"I was going potty!" Papyrus answered.

"…yeah. Some bathroom trip, huh." Sans added. "Really shook me to the bone."

Gaster looked up. "Sans, I don't think it is the time for puns when you are practically bleeding to death."

Papyrus's eyes grew wide. "w-what! Sans…. S-sans is…. NOOOOO! SANS PLEASE DON'T DIE!"

Papyrus started crying so hard he made waterfall look like a fountain. Gaster felt a drop of sweat roll down his skull.

"I was sarcastic, your brother is fine."

"Yeah Paps, I'm going to be fine."

Gaster sighed as Papyrus kept wailing.

"… you were right, Sans, this camping trip wasn't the best idea."


I'm out of juice XD I hope you're okay with the little bit of action there. I just let my mind take me. Gaster can punch bears because he's Skeledad XD Skeledad can do anything!

So, the next chapter is going to be very special and different. I'm going to be featuring an AU. My AU. Wolftale! Aka Snowtale or Moontale (I'm still not sure if The name Wolftale has been used yet, I'm only familiar with Underfell, Dancetale, Horrortale and a little Underswap.)

I'm making a story for it now, but I decided it would be cool to make a chapter with it here! It won't be full on Wolftale, just a sort of dimensional thing. There may be a hinted shipping (spoiler for Wolftale- this shipping may be used in the au story). It's not that bad, but heads up anyway. It's going to be more actiony, feelsy, ect, than other chapters. I'll still try to incorporate humor (Wolftale has a different style of humor than this story, so maybe it will be a breath of fresh air!)

I may do an Underfell. Very low chance. Because I shouldn't be doing too many chapters with little focus on Gaster (like the next one- focus is primarily on Sans) and Underfell Sans and Papyrus aren't the best bros.

Sorry for the long author notes! I just want to end off by saying thank you to all who reviewed. It really means a lot to me, even one counts. It helps when everyone in real life is telling me how much of a loser I am :D people suck, don't they. But it helps me stay motivated, and though I can't help writers block or a busy schedule or just not wanting to get out of bed, those reviews help get through that. I am a little jealous of those people with hundreds of reviews, but I realized a few wonderful, beautiful, sincere reviewers is better than a hundred "write more" reviews. So, really, thank you! I hope to get thirty reviews by the time this is done. But even if we don't hit that, that's okay. Because I already know that someone actually gives a damn about my story!

Till next time,

Comycat~