(A/N): No more keyboard privileges for Moyashi-kun…haha.

Moyashi-kun: Awwwww :'(

Thanks to all who reviewed, you're all awesome :D

Disclaimer: Don't own DGM, no matter how much I want to. I don't own Pain, by Three Days Grace, either.


What once was
7th night: Thoughts of an Exorcist

If possible, the train ride back to their Order seemed like an even longer journey instead of shorter. Karen sighed as she looked out the window. On the floor of their private compartment, Lenalee and Allen played poker--or at least, Lenalee was trying to learn. Allen was teaching her how to play fair. When and if she got better, he'd teach her how to cheat. But from judging the way Lenalee was playing already, it would seem that he wouldn't have to teach her. Lenalee was a complete natural, believe it or not.

Karen's gaze lingered on the two for a while, her mind becoming blank. It wasn't like her, to be like this. Was it because of a single wound?

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
Cuz I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Her eyes wandered back to the running landscape, the wound on her stomach continuing to beg for attention. After a few seconds (which seemed like hours to her) she stood up and left the compartment without a word, leaving those that were still inside blinking in confusion.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

As soon as she was outside, her legs nearly gave out and she wobbly entered the closest restroom, her arms encircled around her abdomen. Locking the door and taking off her exorcist coat, Karen examined her wound, pangs of pain flowing through her. Though the wound had healed considerably since she first acquired it, it still looked pretty bad. She sighed and started to undress it, taking the bloody bandages off to replace with new ones that she had kept within her coat. "It's been over a day already…why hasn't it healed already?" she asked herself. Strange, she wasn't used to talking to herself, either. She looked up into the mirror and saw someone who she didn't know. A girl who had given up everything so that he could continue to live, a girl who just wanted the best for him. A girl whose parents despised their own son, yet adored her. A girl who, until now, never opened her eyes. A girl who didn't know who she was anymore, who didn't know who or what she had become. Karen closed her eyes; this was the reason why she never liked mirrors.

Mirrors never lie.

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Lavi laughed as Lenalee and Allen played. It seemed as though Lenalee was actually going to win against Allen–without cheating! He smiled at the younger exorcists; they always seemed to be happy when they were on a mission together. It made him think back to the missions he and Karen used to get. They would always be together; it seemed that Komui made sure of that. A smile tugged at his lips as he saw himself and Karen in Lenalee and Allen's places. Looking out the window, he started thinking, just as he did whenever there was nothing better to do. Even after all those missions, after becoming such good friends with her, after all that they've been through, Karen had never opened up to him.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Lenalee peered over the tip of her cards, said objects covering the slight blush on her face as she looked upon the boy in front of her. She was ecstatic; the mission had gone perfectly: they retrieved the innocence, didn't cause that much damage to the surrounding buildings, no one got seriously hurt, and she even got a present from Allen–a very, very special present that she would treasure forever. She blushed even more, just thinking about their "moment" earlier that morning, along with a bright smile. Not only because of that, but also because of her hand. She was so going to beat him this round. But upon glancing up at Lavi, the smile faded and was replaced by worry. He seemed so…

'If he's so worried, he should go and look for her.'

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Allen glanced at his cards, watching Lenalee as she looked down at her own. A smile was set upon his lips as he gazed at her face and then looked down just as she glanced up, feeling the slight burning sensation on his cheeks. It was because of that that his mind wandered back to their incident in his room this morning. He felt his face redden.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Subconsciously, the redhead tapped his finger against his knee. 'It's been too long…where is she?' he wondered. His emerald orb gazed down at the younger exorcists before he stood up. "My leg's asleep, I'm gonna walk it out, 'kay?"

"Okay." Unison answer. Neither of them even looked up from their hands. Lavi chuckled a little before heading out the compartment, looking for Karen.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Karen sat on the bathroom floor, curled up against the cold door, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, her eyes shut tight. "It…hurts…." It was murmured through gritted teeth. "Why…why does it hurt so much…damn…" She reached up and tried to get up, if not for the next wave of burning fire searing through her. With a grunt, she slid back down to the floor, cursing in different languages, her eyes tight shut once more.

A knock at the door.

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you

"Hana-chan?" Lavi called, knocking on the door. "Hana-chan, are you in there?"

Karen's eyes snapped open, just as they did the night before. 'Damn it.' She somehow maintained her composure and answered, her voice unwavering, "Yeah, I am. What'd you need?" She even surprised herself, hearing how cold her voice sounded.

On the other side of the door, Lavi blinked, surprised at the tone of her voice. Karen opened the door and came out, her face unreadable, her coat dawned. "I was just wondering what took ya so long, Hana-chan!" Something was wrong, Lavi knew for sure. But what, though, he had no clue.

Lavi's usual smile had reappeared, dispelling all of Karen's thoughts about him bring worried. Karen smiled at him, inwardly wincing as she did so, and said, "Well, I'm a girl, what did you expect?" That brought a laugh out of a Lavi and a small one out of Karen. Together, side by side, they headed back, Lavi contented with his partner right beside him again.

You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Karen's eyes became droopy and she finally realized how tired she really was. 'That's right…I haven't had a lot of sleep lately…'

"Hana-chan?"

She looked up at him and placed a smile on her face again. "I'm fine…" 'No…no, Lavi, I'm not…' "Don't worry, okay?"

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Karen's eyes widened and the aisle began to twist around, her legs becoming wobbly. She clutched her head, her vision starting to blur, her other hand holding onto the wall for support. 'What the…'

"Hana-chan!" Lavi cried as she fell forward. He caught her before she hit the floor, worry plastered all over his face. "Hana-chan! Can you hear me? Karen!"

"I'm okay…" she whispered. "Just…a little dizzy…" Lavi's eyes widened and he picked her up in his arms, earning a yelp from the female.

"Why didn't you say anything before now? We could've–"

"I'm fine." She interrupted him. "I got a little dizzy, it's nothing to worry about."

Lavi looked down at her. "But Hana-chan…"

"Lavi…" Karen gave him a look before getting down, holding onto him so that she wouldn't fall, wincing as pain shot through her once more. "I just haven't had enough sleep lately, and the train moving so much just made me dizzy for a second. It's nothing, I'm alright, really." She looked up at him again and held his gaze. "So don't worry, alright?"

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

"Hey, Allen? Is this a good hand?" Lenalee asked, an innocent smile on her face.

Allen looked up from his hand and blinked. "Huh? Lemme see." He scooted over to her, and blinked at her hand. She had four kings, straight. He blinked once more and laughed. "Yeah, that's a good hand!" Lenalee pouted; she wanted to see Allen nervous in a card game. But then again, seeing him smile and laugh was just as good, especially since he did so for her. At that point, the both of them noticed. This was the first time they've been together since that time. They looked at each other, then blushed, the memory resurfacing.

Allen had taken her hand, feeling completely embarrassed. Apparently, neither of them had the greatest sense of balance in the morning, for when Lenalee pulled him up, they tripped over the other's legs and fell to the floor. They fell, however, with Allen on top of Lenalee, their lips pressed together in a kiss that would make Komui cry an ocean.

Another shade surfaced on both their faces and they turned away from each other. Exorcists, warriors, but still naïve children at heart.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Lavi looked at the girl for a moment with serious eyes. "Lavi, please…" Karen said to him, "It's nothing." It was then that she gave him a smile, and Lavi felt like it was a truly sincere smile, a kind of smile he had only seen once before, and it made him smile back at her, his expression back to the way it usually was.

Karen continued to smile at him. A real smile. Why was he the only one at the Order who had seen her smile that way before? She walked forward and turned back to look at Lavi, who hadn't moved yet. "But I am glad, Lavi…" Said boy blinked. "…that you're smiling again. That smile suits you more than worry." The redhead blinked at her once more and smiled, walking beside her.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain…

They entered the room to see Lenalee and Allen turned away from each other, a blush on both of their faces. A grin appeared on both Lavi and Karen's face as they both occupied a seat on opposite sides of the room, both of them facing one of the younger teens. "Weeeeell?" they both said at the same time. The two on the floor blinked at them, looked back at each other and blinked, then blinked once more at the older exorcists.

"Well what?"

"Well, why don't you tell us, huh?" Karen taunted first. "Your faces are red. How come?" her grin became bigger as their said blush deepened.

"Yeah, ya know ya can tell us," Lavi taunted as well, "It's not a secret, is it? But then again, all the more reason to tell!" He laughed as he looked at their faces; they would've made a tomato jealous.

It was then that he heard her laugh. He stopped for a moment and looked at her with surprise in his eyes. He hadn't heard her laugh before, at least not with this much happiness apparent in her voice. Karen sat on her seat, her hand covering her mouth, trying to stifle the laughs that were escaping her throat. And, somehow, her wound didn't hurt her. Her shoulders shook slightly, her angelic laugh reverberating throughout the entire compartment. The sight brought a large smile to his face and he continued to laugh, doing even more so when he saw the baffled looks upon on Lenalee and Allen's clueless expressions.

She had no idea why she was laughing, or why how she was doing so without having pain coursing through every fiber of her being. But she didn't care. It had been years since she's truly laughed, and she had to admit, it felt good. Karen took a deep breath and calmed down a bit, looking at the still beet red teens on the floor and her still laughing partner. 'Now that everything's like this…everything's going to change…'

But she didn't mind at all.

:::later:::

Lavi looked down at the girl leaning on his shoulder. It placed a smile on his face, seeing her sleep with a smile on her face, even if it was only a small one. He glanced over at Lenalee and Allen, who were sleeping against each other, just like they had done before when he had taken that picture. Speaking of which…where did that camera go? Oh well, whatever. He knew that he would find it later. He looked down at Karen again and lay his head against hers, closing his eyes. "You're not alone, Hana-chan…" he murmured.

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you

The smile Karen wore grew as she felt his head against hers. She opened her eyes slightly and glanced up at him. 'You say that, Lavi…but you have no idea…' She sighed and unconsciously snuggled closer to him, wrapping her arms around one of his, and fell asleep against the bookman in training.

You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later...

Allen opened his eyes and smiled at the pair in front of him. Somehow, he knew that Lavi liked her and he had the feeling that she liked him back. But the latter he wasn't so sure of. Either way, they both looked happy. His eyes focused on the newest exorcist he had met. It was then that he looked at her carefully, taking in her features, her character. He felt his brows furrow, and he again wondered why he felt like he knew her. There was just something in the back of his mind that kept on nagging at him, why can't you remember? He sighed and settled down next to Lenalee, a soft blush creeping onto his face, a contented smile along with it.

And so the exorcists of the Black Order fell asleep, each with their own acquiescent dreams, the soft humming of a lullaby keeping them all in their peaceful slumber.

:::End 7th night:::

Why does it seem that this is going really slow?? Oh well...hopefully it'll speed up. Haha.

Ja ne, minna