"No..." Derek whispered in disbelief as he shook his head, pulling away from her slightly.
She nodded, the tears welled. She brought her hand up, wiping a stray tear that had fallen.
"It's not…" Derek began.
"Yesterday. Before the crash. I…I went to find you. You were there. With…her." She choked out. The pain of having to relive the nightmare was almost unbearable.
"I…" He had nothing to say. She looked at him for an explanation except he didn't have one. Not one decent explanation on why he had done what he had done.
"How could you…to Mark? To me?" She asked staring at him. He looked up into her eyes. She could see the pain in them, the guilt. This was not a man she knew. This was not the man she married.
"Mark did the same to me!" Derek snapped.
"Yes, he did. But how could you have done the same to him, knowing how it felt. How could you have done it?" She asked.
"Karma's a bitch." Derek said his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes welled with tears.
"Revenge? This was revenge? Then what about me? Your wife?" She finally asked. She feared what he might say, bracing herself for the worst.
"Meredith, you never saw it. But you and I, after Addison, I…You didn't say it but I know. You never forgave me for choosing her over you. I…It's like you have this wall that you put up. And I just…I can't get in. So I…gave up trying. Addison…she was there and it started. Our marriage, it was over before it started. But now…this baby…it could change us. We have another chance. Another go. Just…please let me in." He begged. He was looking into her eyes. His eyes hollow, he was worn out. He looked frayed like he'd been suffering for too long. No longer was the loving man. But although there was pain and guilt in his eyes, she saw a small glimmer of hope, of a new life, of a new beginning, of a better.
"You gave up." She repeated, whispering softly.
"But we can try…again. For the baby." He said.
"I don't…I don't want you to try for the baby."
"Mer…" He begged.
"I want you to try for me." She explained.
He sat there staring, hesitating, contemplating.
"I can try." He said.
"You hesitated. You...hesitated…"
"Hello?"
"Mark?"
"Mer?"
"It's over."
A/N: Okay, another short update. Sorry for the length of the updates guys, it's just that I don't really know how much I'm going to write until I write it and believe it or not, I don't have a exactly concrete plan of how this fic is going to go. This update didn't turn out as I hoped. It is...well...crappy, in my opinion. I didn't like it at all. I kept trying to rewrite it but it still came out all wrong. But I guess it kind of communicates what I was trying to get across which was that Meredith never fully forgave Derek for Addison and because of that it put strain on their marriage, and that's why Derek cheated. I'm not saying that that justifies what he did but I guess you can kind of see where he's coming from? And so it's well...in the words of Meredith Grey, "Over, so over". Although Mark made only a small cameo in this update, he'll play a larger role later. And guys, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!
